Billy Shears Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, madam. I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too, you can really spread out!" "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know it.", Mrs. Smith said quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." "Oh my goodness!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well-when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, um...equipment?" "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod??" "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?... ... Good Lord, she's fainted!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherack Nhar Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 I didn't know it was possible to keep this up for that long That's great! Did you write it yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMadDoofer Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Ha ha! That's a good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Shears Posted June 3, 2003 Author Share Posted June 3, 2003 Unfortunately, I can't take credit for this. I found it on a site, and the guy that posted there got it in an email, I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Oh my, the level of misunderstanding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
another_trooper Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 :D Hilarious Any more jokes where that came from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 *rolls on the floor* Jokes.... Came.... :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leXX Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 LMAO!!!!! One of the best jokes I've heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewbacco Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 LOL!!! Those jokes are so *gags* funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Sad Shadow Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 JAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.