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Stupid Anecdotes


Homuncul

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I apologize but this the stupidest I 've ever heard

 

Village. Morning. An old man wakes up and goes look at his cow on the yard. Comes out of a house - the cow is dead on the ground. He thinks: "S**t, what am I gonna do, my wife's gonna kill me. life sucks, I hang myself".

 

His wife wakes up, and sees no husband, walks out of the house and sees that their beloved cow is dead and her husband is hung nearby, so she thinks:"How am I gonna live, the cow is dead, husband commited suicide. I should better do the same"

 

Elder son wakes up, sees ther's no meal on the table, comes out of a house and his parents hang near the dead cow. So he thinks: "Buttheads, couldn't they just die after the meal, life sucks and ther's even no room to hang myself". So he goes to the swamp and there sits Yoda and says to him: " Hi, fella. Make love to me 5 times and I'll reserect with the power of the Force your parents and even a cow" . Elder brother thought abit and agreed. So .... he comes to the middle of the 5th time and fails. So he's a looser he drowns himself in the swamp.

 

Younger brother wakes up after a good night, sees no meal, no parents, no brother. Comes out of the house and sees his parents hung themselves and a dead cow. He dicides to commit suicide, goes to the swamp and sees there his brother's dead body and Yoda. Yoda preposes the same thing he prepose to his brother.

 

The younger brother thinks a bit, then asks: How about 10 times?

Yoda: Well... if you can

Younger: Maybe 20 times?

Yoda: Well... if you're that tough

Younger: I am. Are you sure you're not gonna die like the cow did

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Oh OK ;) The last sentences looked a bit odd...

 

Oh and you're from Russia? I went to Moscow (Moskva) last easter (christian easter, I believe it was palm easter in Russia)... The city looks great... at least the centre, the kremlin, red square etc...

 

Too bad my Russian isn't really good, and the Cyrillic alphabet is pretty hard to understand too! Took me like 5 minutes to read the names of the subway stations :p

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Here's another stupid one

 

A homosexualist comes to a doctor:

 

Homosexualist: Doctor, We've got AIDS epidemy today, I'm afraid to catch one. Can you give me a piece of advice?

Doctor: Sure, first eat two kilograms of onions, drink a litre of milk, eat it with fish, and on desert take a cream cake, but no less than half of it

Homosexualist: But what for, doctor?

Doctor: Well, at least you'll know what your arse is really ment for

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There's triple for today, have fun folks

 

 

 

A missioner lived in african tribe for some time without complications. One day el Jefe of tribe comes to him and says:

- Yesterday, my 12 year old wife gave birth to a white child. As you're only white among us, it follows that you embrased my wife. Death awaits you for this!

- Oh great Chief! Look, in the herd of white goats in the field, there is one black. And you're all black, but that doesn't mean you...

_ Ok, Ok, be quiet, I'm not gonna let you out and you do the same for me, will ya?

 

 

 

A Festival of toilet paper is held:

French paper - thick, smooth, with Channel 5 smell. Russian paper: rough newspaper called "Truth". Japanese paper: a pill and note near by - Take it before your meal. S**t comes out in small packages

 

 

 

There're 2 queues: for socks and "balls". A man stands in the wrong queue, when his turn comes he asks:

- Male please, the biggest you can get

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