Sivy Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 http://www.laughlab.co.uk have been conducting the largest ever study on humour. One of the study's main goals is to uncover the funniest joke in the world. So far, the joke that has tickled the most funnybones is: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "No Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!" so is that the funniest joke ever? you decide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 no, they need to do it for americans only Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BawBag™ Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Originally posted by Siv http://www.laughlab.co.uk have been conducting the largest ever study on humour. One of the study's main goals is to uncover the funniest joke in the world. So far, the joke that has tickled the most funnybones is: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "No Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!" so is that the funniest joke ever? you decide Well, you know what they say about the old ones. They're the oldest. To be honest a newer joke is more likely to make me laugh than one I've heard before......... still a cracker though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted December 4, 2003 Author Share Posted December 4, 2003 no, they need to do it for americans only well that one was the overall winner this was the one that won in the US... A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leXX Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Originally posted by Siv so is that the funniest joke ever? you decide You know, I didn't even break a smile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 hey, siv, I have seen this before and I clicked "no" as soon as I opened the thread and was suprised to see that you had second place on there and the joke wasn't even complete. First place wasn't that funny but second was not really hilarious either, I will post the real winner and second place: First Place: A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?" Second Place: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!" to see these go to http://www.laughlab.co.uk/winner.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leXX Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Originally posted by IG-64 First Place: A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?" [/url] Ok, that one was funnier. Still, no way near the best joke ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted December 4, 2003 Author Share Posted December 4, 2003 thats odd, according to this that one won. perhaps that wasn't the final result *shrugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermie Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 I voted no, but my internett lagged, so it said I voted yes… I belive I have posted some funnier in the joke thread in joes forum (valley of the jedi) go there and judge for yourself btw, sgin in for that forum too!!!! I bet its a pluss im my book for my become a mod campain if I recruit people. all I need now is 18 more post before I can send in my request Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Originally posted by Herminator_64 I belive I have posted some funnier in the joke thread in joes forum (valley of the jedi) go there and judge for yourself I agree on all your points... those jokes are old Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Fisher Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Well, those weren't very funny, only the hunter one was funnier than the others. Meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alegis Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 my favourite, (it's better told than read) (sorry for the spelling, it's originally a joke in dutch) John is walking along the avenue, and sees in a window of a shop green socks, only 3 bucks. Green socks? GREEN SOCKS! John races home, he would sell his soul for those green socks! 'DADDY DADDY!' 'mmmyeah?' 'DADDY PLEASE CAN I HAVE 3 BUCKS FOR GREEN SOCKS?????' '3 bucks? Hell no! But you can get one buck if you repair the lawn mower' John screws the lawn mower open, messes a bit around with the wires and closes everything 'HERE DADDY!' John gets his dollar, and right after that his father wants to mow the lawn, but gets electrocuted and dies. Meanwhile John is in front of his mother 'MOMMY MOMMY!!!! CAN I HAVE 2 BUCKS FOR GREEN SOCKS???' 'What? Hell no! But you can have one buck if you repair the ironing thing John lesses a bit around with the wires, bam closes everything and gets his dollar. Mom tries to iron some clothes but ZZZZAPPP gets electrocuted and dies. Meanwhile John found his sister 'SIIIIIIIIISSS! CAN I HAVE ONE BUCK PLEASE PLEASE FOR GREEN SOCKS????' 'Hell no! You owe me another 5 bucks! But i'll give you one if you repair my lady shave k?' John opens the damn thing, messes a bit with the wires and hands it over to his sister. Sister tries it but ZAAAPPPPP gets electrocuted and dies. 'YEEEHAW I GOT ME 3 BUCKS!!!!!' John screamed out as someone rang the doorbell, he runs downstairs and opens the door to find a penguin in the doorway. and what does the penguin say? (guess) NOTHING, BECAUSE PENGUINS CAN'T TALK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 ahahahhaha!! it's a penguin!!! didn't see that coming how do u come up with this stuff!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jared Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Originally posted by Siv http://www.laughlab.co.uk have been conducting the largest ever study on humour. One of the study's main goals is to uncover the funniest joke in the world. So far, the joke that has tickled the most funnybones is: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "No Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!" so is that the funniest joke ever? you decide hahahaha...... it was a good laugh, but not the best I have ever heard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Originally posted by Alegis Gensan my favourite, (it's better told than read) (sorry for the spelling, it's originally a joke in dutch) John is walking along the avenue, and sees in a window of a shop green socks, only 3 bucks. Green socks? GREEN SOCKS! John races home, he would sell his soul for those green socks! 'DADDY DADDY!' 'mmmyeah?' 'DADDY PLEASE CAN I HAVE 3 BUCKS FOR GREEN SOCKS?????' '3 bucks? Hell no! But you can get one buck if you repair the lawn mower' John screws the lawn mower open, messes a bit around with the wires and closes everything 'HERE DADDY!' John gets his dollar, and right after that his father wants to mow the lawn, but gets electrocuted and dies. Meanwhile John is in front of his mother 'MOMMY MOMMY!!!! CAN I HAVE 2 BUCKS FOR GREEN SOCKS???' 'What? Hell no! But you can have one buck if you repair the ironing thing John lesses a bit around with the wires, bam closes everything and gets his dollar. Mom tries to iron some clothes but ZZZZAPPP gets electrocuted and dies. Meanwhile John found his sister 'SIIIIIIIIISSS! CAN I HAVE ONE BUCK PLEASE PLEASE FOR GREEN SOCKS????' 'Hell no! You owe me another 5 bucks! But i'll give you one if you repair my lady shave k?' John opens the damn thing, messes a bit with the wires and hands it over to his sister. Sister tries it but ZAAAPPPPP gets electrocuted and dies. 'YEEEHAW I GOT ME 3 BUCKS!!!!!' John screamed out as someone rang the doorbell, he runs downstairs and opens the door to find a penguin in the doorway. and what does the penguin say? (guess) NOTHING, BECAUSE PENGUINS CAN'T TALK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i'm just not gettin it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Originally posted by IG-64 i'm just not gettin it the point is that there is no point... a so called 'stupid joke' it rocks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alegis Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 It's helluva lot better when you built up a climax in your voice and enthousiasm towards the end like: and there was a PENGUIN THERE, AND GUESS WHAT IT SAID? and after NOTHING laugh as hard as you can, when i first heard this one (4 or 5 years ago) i was laughing for a week (really, at sudden points i'd remember the joke and start laughing out loud) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 I usually like pointless jokes but that one just didn't work out in text. I can see how that would be funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 i actually liked it, seriously, my kind of humour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermie Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 this time I actually Laughed Out Loud great joke :thumb1: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoxStar Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 I think the funniest one ever is the golf one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockerD Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 I think monty python's joke that ended world war 2 is the funniest dont read this because you may spontaneously combust My dog had no nose...... How does it smell? Awful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkLord60 Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Its funny but not the funniest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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