Sivy Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 -Never trust men in dark helmets. - Sometimes, you've just gotta do something that seems totally suicidal. - Always check the background of people you want to get intimately involved with, they may be your relatives. - You may have family members in surprisingly high positions. - Before you kill someone make sure they aren't your father. - Know the difference between power socket and a computer terminal. - THIS one goes there, and THAT one goes there! - No matter how tasty that hunk of meat looks on that pole on that forest moon, don't grab it; it's probably a trap. (Or: when you see a piece of dead meat impaled on a stake in the woods, LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!) - Cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can prove you're a god. - Take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your binoculars. - Fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space station. - Don't assume a senior citizen is weak and frail; they may zap you with lightning bolts. - You will find many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view - Your eyes deceive you, don't trust them. - The Bad Guys can't hit the broad side of a barn. - But, "Only Imperial Storm Troopers are so precise" - It's never my fault. - Never judge anything by its size. - There are those who are less forgiving than Darth Vader. - Always let a Wookie win. - Never cast your lightsaber away, you just might need it - It not a good idea to follow up on a vision while meditating - Always pay off your debts in a hurry - If your in it just for the money, you might blow your chances with the princess - If some yells out "It's a trap!" then believe them - Walk in single file to hide your numbers. - When wearing stormtrooper armor, remember to make sure the door's completely open before going through it. - You'll always have a bad feeling about something - Don't park in asteroids - Never say "watch this" when dealing with a hyperdrive - Don't shoot out the controls to a bridge BEFORE you cross the bridge - If you want to keep your friends warm, shove them inside a dead animal!! - If you run a military academy, go over how to deal with small, furry opponents. - Whining about power converters makes you look like an idiot. - Dead animals usually smell worse on the INSIDE - Never assume responsibility if it means you're likely to be choked to death. - When your Tauntaun smells something, it's usually a good time to high-tail it outta there. - When someone tells you to eject, it's probably a good idea. - You really should fire on lifepods whether there are signs of life or not - If you ever build a throne room, NEVER put a great big shaft leading to a big nuclear reactor right in the center of the room. - Don't judge someone by their bad grammar - An entire planet could have only one climate -. Everything has a weakness, it's just a matter of exploiting it * Emperor - overconfident * Luke - friends * Death Star - thermal exhaust port * Stormtroopers - Ewoks * Star Destroyers - bridge deflector shields * Darth Vader - compassion for his kids * Leia - smugglers * Chewie - dead animals hanging from trees - Beware those heart-to-heart talks with Dad. One of you might end up losing an appendage. - never say "where are you taking this---THING---?" b/c the next thing you know, you're flying across the room. - No matter how cool a guy's helmet looks, push him off a high place and he'll scream like a girl. - Cool costume + Bare minimum of screen time = Eternal popularity - Sticks and Stones WILL Break your bones. - Nothing can happen without a Bothan spy dying - Don't use targeting computers; rely on the voicesd in your head - with good camouflage no one will see the big reflective gold droid you brought along. - Take an R-2 unit with you...its better than any Swiss army knife. 353. A little one-on-one with Dad can cost you an arm or a leg - literally. - Bounty Hunters turn into Alderaanian princesses when you kiss them. - When all else fails....jump!
ExcelsioN Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 Thats a hell of a long list - but funny. I like that. (With the voice of that woman from one of the Simpsons episodes. )
Alegis Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 A real lesson: "Do or do not, there is no try" Though the ' If you ever build a throne room, NEVER put a great big shaft leading to a big nuclear reactor right in the center of the room' is very wise too
Prime Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 - Picking up power converters = wasting time with friends - Having a bad transmitter is an exceptable excuse for a stormtrooper not being at their post - Shooting precision is rated on a vastly lower scale in galaxies far, far away - Do not underestimate your opponants chances, especially if they are rebels or are a part of any sort of alliance - Clones are immensely superior to droids - Garbage shoots never lead to better situations - rooms made of ice and snow are supposed to be freezing - The appropriate response to someone telling you they love you is to say, "I know" - Wookies are not taken into consideration by starship designers
Mex Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 - Never, I mean never open up a TaunTaun. And I mean never. - Before watching Episode 6 again make sure that you have earplugs when Luke is around. - Droids can still have love without privates.
Pie™ Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 - Never put your shield reactors in the easiest accesible place around - Never use mechanized bridges inside your own base - Never hide in the garbage - Always trust the oldest and wisest green little guy in the galaxy - Don't let Tuskens steal your momma - Riding on huge, fat pigs impresses girls a lot - When you have a huge space station, never leave the one garbage shaft leading to the core unguarded - Watch out for blue-skinned punkers - Never build a giant hatch to a monster cage right below your throne - Princesses in gold bikinis make great slaves
BLG Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 -Dont ever save a Gungans life, ur gonna regret it(just ask Qui-Gon) edit: oh cr*p im a Gungan grunt!
ZBomber Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 Originally posted by STTCT they didn't learnt you to spell huh? No, me fail 2 grade english. Some of my favorites: - No matter how cool a guy's helmet looks, push him off a high place and he'll scream like a girl. - Garbage shoots never lead to better situations - When wearing stormtrooper armor, remember to make sure the door's completely open before going through it. - You'll always have a bad feeling about something - Don't park in asteroids - The Bad Guys can't hit the broad side of a barn. - But, "Only Imperial Storm Troopers are so precise" - It's never my fault.
Prime Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 - Stormtroopers can't hit anything because they "can't see a thing" in their helmets. - Ancient weapons and hokey religions are no match for a good blaster at your side. - Never take a restraining bolt off a droid you just bought. - Always look straight ahead when driving a speeder bike. - A tribe of 3 foot primitive bears can defeat an entire legion of Imperial stormtroopers, making one realize how pathetic the rebels at Hoth were. - Being slowly digested over 1000 years is not seen as a pleasant way to go. - Holding a thermal detonator makes you seem fearless and inventive, but apparently not stupid. - Rancor keepers love their Rancors. - Slave dancers do not love Rancors. - When a Jedi Knight says this is your last chance, it probably is. - Councillor ships should always have ambassadors. - The stun setting on your blaster is an excellent tool for capturing princesses. - If the Sith Lord you are dueling can hold you off with only one hand on his saber, you are in big trouble. - Nice Sith Lords will sit down to dinner with you before taking you prisoner. - Swamp monsters do not like the taste of droids. - There is always a bigger fish. - Always trust your fate to boys you hardly know. - When a Jedi Master says, "drop," you probably should. - When A Jedi Master says, "stay in that cockpit," you probably shouldn't. - Sith Lords are not concerned with asteroids. - If a Sith Lord thinks you are as clumsy as you are stupid, don't, repeat don't answer the videophone. - Being lower in rank than said Mr. Clumsystupid means your odds of promotion are quite good. - if at first your superweapon fails, try, try again.
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