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[Fanfic] The Plight of Darkness

ForceFightWMe12

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MdKnightR Newbie

MdKnightR

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Very good chapter! Again, BRAVO! The only thing I might have changed would have been the close of the chapter. You could have built up a little more tension by having Revan be a little more reserved about Bastilla's breakdown. Perhaps cool in his comfort so as not to drive her away, but holding back just enough to let Bastilla know (even in her emotional outburst) that something was on his mind that he wasn't willing to share with her yet. But that is just me. Keep it up!

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MdKnightR Newbie

MdKnightR

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Actually...that's a really good idea. I was at a wall trying to figure out how to close this chapter...but that could work...just to figure if I can work that in...

 

Well, as I am sure that not everyone who will read your story has had the opportunity, I wouldn't hold it against you to go back and edit that part of the chapter.

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ForceFightWMe12 Newbie

ForceFightWMe12

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Well, as I am sure that not everyone who will read your story has had the opportunity, I wouldn't hold it against you to go back and edit that part of the chapter.

 

Well, I think its been a little too long now...but I think I can still...

 

 

Wow your a good writer i just turned in a story the other day and its going to get like a "C" average.........lol and yet im 14 years old.

 

 

Lol, thanks. I've had a bit of practice....

 

http://www.fanfiction.shurtugal.com/viewuser.php?uid=183&viewstories

 

:D

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ForceFightWMe12 Newbie

ForceFightWMe12

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Actually, now that you mention it...

 

__________________________________________________

 

---Chapter Nine---

 

“He didn’t tell us everything.” Briana said as she began to shift her things from her pack into a footlocker. Elron leaned against the door post, watching her.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“There were several other planets before Revan began his journey here. However, he decided to leave those out in his narration.”

Elron watched as Bastila and Revan left the hallway to go who knows where. “You’re right…I hadn’t noticed that till now.”

“There is something he wants to keep secret…”

 

Later that night, Bastila crept down the hallway, careful to make no noise as she entered her room. Shutting the door behind her, she lay back on her bed, thinking of all that had happened…in that one day…her entire life had been rebuilt…

 

The next day, Bastila awoke with a smile on her face and promptly dressed before heading down to the main conference room, thinking that would be where any food would probably be served. As she passed the others rooms, she saw that they were all empty, save for Atton’s.

 

As she entered the great hall, she saw Revan and Carth sitting at the center table. Breakfast had been set out and Revan and Carth were enjoying their morning meal, laughing at past exploits.

 

“Ahahaha…ahaha…oh man, and – hehaha! Re – remember the time she l-lost her lightsaber?” Carth laughed, “ ‘It – it must have fallen from my belt and rolled under my seat!’ Hehahaha!”

“Y- yeah!” Revan answered, taken by a new wave of laughter, “Th-that had to be the most embarrassing thing to h-happen to a Jedi! Especially after the Vulkars got her!”

“I assure you,” Bastila said, taking a seat next to them, “Those Vulkars were thinner in number and they were hurting quite badly before they captured me!”

“Y-yeah, th-the key words there are captured you. Th-they still got the best of you!” Carth said, trying to recover after his fit of laughing.

“Well, if memory serves, Revan was nearly killed by the Vulkars down in that race pit. If I hadn’t stepped into that fight--”

“If you hadn’t stepped in that fight,” Revan said, brushing a tear from his eye, “then I would have fared just the same. You’d have saved quite a bit of energy!” he smiled.

“Oh, if you say so. Honestly, staying out here all alone must have worn out your memory!”

“My memory! My memory?” Revan said with a smile, “Remind me who lost their lightsaber again?”

“You can be quiet infuriating sometimes, you know that Revan?” Bastila said, but a smile tugged at the edge of her lips.

“Hey, I try.”

 

Later that day, after spending some time meditating, Bastila went to seek out Revan. She hadn’t seen him since breakfast…

As she combed the dark hallways, she heard a mighty crash, coming from the direction of the library.

Curious, and slightly worried, Bastila headed there. What she found when she arrived wasn’t what she had expected to see.

Revan was in a fine rage. He stormed around the room, kicking things at random and knocking holocrons and datapads from shelves, even knocking over a few chairs.

When there was a lull in his fit, she spoke to him.

“Revan…?”

He turned to look at her, his expression one of anger and frustration. He said nothing.

“Are…are you alright?”

“You ask me if I’m alright??” he asked, his tone harsh, “Does it look like I’m alright?”

“Well…no…but…” Bastila just couldn’t seem to find any words to say. She had never seen her lover in such a state. “What is wrong?”

He walked away, leaning against a table top, “Everything.”

Cautiously, she followed him, putting her hands on his shoulders. “Please, tell me.”

He shrugged off her touch, walking away again. This time, he stood once again in front of the large window. “I…I do not think I can. Not now, at least. Please, go.”

“But Revan--”

“GO!”

She shrank back, as if he had landed her a physical blow. Never had he raised his voice at her. Never. Whatever was wrong…it was serious. However reluctant she way to do so, she left the library.

 

For the next few days, Revan was rarely seen. When Bastila tried to confront him, he would say nothing, and always turned her away. She began to get worried.

 

“It’s like…it’s like he’s changed…somehow…” she said as she stood next to the Exile, watching a few of the others training. “He’s…he’s never been like this before…”

“There is…something he does not wish to tell you. At least not yet.”

“I don’t know what to do…” she said, dropping her head.

“Wait. He will come to you when he’s ready.”

 

Another two days passed. Then a third. And a fourth. Revan still said nothing.

 

The evening of the fourth day, Bastila was fed up. She worried about Revan constantly, and decided that that night, she would confront Revan and wouldn’t leave until she got an answer.

 

“Revan!” she said as she came into the library, finding him once again amongst the old records. He didn’t even turn to face her. “Revan, I need to know what’s wrong. And I need to know now!” she said harshly.

He was quiet for a moment, studying the datapad he had in his hands. Just as Bastila opened her mouth to speak again, he said, “You wish to know?” he closed the datapad, storing it back on its shelf, “You truly wish to know?”

“Revan, if there is absolutely anything I wished to know now, it is what is making you like this?” she pleaded.

“Fine.” he was not as angry as before…but there was still a cold edge to his words. “Then read.” he tossed a datapad to her.

Catching it, she looked from it back to him.

“Read.” he urged.

And so she did. A few minutes later, she looked up. “Revan…”

“Now you know.” he said, turning away from her.

“But…it cannot be true. How can you be sure?”

“It all fits! My birth date, my parent’s names, their home planets, everything! It all fits in place!” he said, slamming a fist against the window.

“After the fall of the Empire, Lord Eiriask-”

“My father.”

“And his wife, Mistress Selinas-”

“My mother.”

“Returned to the remote system of-”

“You don't need to read anymore, it’s all there! My homeworld, my parent’s anniversary date, EVERTHING!” he yelled, taking the datapad from her hands and flinging it against a wall. “I’ve checked every scrap of data from that era, and it all says the same thing. My father was the Emperor of the Ancient Sith before their hidden empire fell.”

Looking defeated, he collapsed in a chair. “Like father like son.” he mumbled.

 

dfe94322.gif

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Snap, didn't see that coming now did ya? jk jk

 

This chapter was...well...a bit choppy, if you ask me, but I hope you guys enjoyed it...

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RC-1162 Newbie

RC-1162

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i know this is a dumb request but could you (ForceFightWMe12) check out my story and give me some comments? i keep begging for them but i dont get any. since youre such a good writer, maybe you can give me some suggestions on how to improve on it.

The Hunt for the Sith: URL in sig.

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ForceFightWMe12 Newbie

ForceFightWMe12

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Thanks, I'm glad you guys like it. See, I told you I could work things around...well, not really, but...Yeah, I could hardly see Revan shouting at Bastila, but it adds some...interest. And actually, I recently found out that she and Revan (if you're a guy) do kiss in the game. Well...you don't actually get to see it, it does one of those funky black-out things...it was probably a make-out session...damn, can't believe they didn't show it!! Sorry. Back on topic.

Sure, I'll check out your story, Yun Yuzzhan, and thanks for the encouragment, Fuu!

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