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[Fanfic] The Plight of Darkness


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Hey guys. I just completed the first chapter of my own fanfic. I have never written a story before, ever. So I would appreciate some feedback on it. Forceflight you really inspired me with your story so far. So I thought I would give it a go of my own to see how much fun I could have. If you guys check it out, then thanks :)

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ForceFightWMe12

The more feedback, the quicker I'll update.

 

 

 

 

Really? Seems to me that it's the exact opposite.

 

Well....that was also in the beginning when I had almost no other fans besides RC and MidKnight...it also helped that at that point, it wasn't the holidays and there wasn't enough snow for me to ski/snowboard :D

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^

Don’t worry about JK, he got banned anyway. As for your fic, take your time :D

We all love your fic, but if TSL has taught us anything: We'd rather wait for an excellently polished product, as opposed to a rushed and unfinished one.

 

Still looking foreword to you next chapter

 

Fuu

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Don’t worry about JK, he got banned anyway.

He got banned? The only reason I could possibly think of is maybe spam... Oh well.

 

So... Do you still have a writers block, ForceFightsWithMe12? Is it a writers block concerning the entire plot, or is it just some block concerning the way you want the events to occur? I'll supply advices on both things:

 

The way you want the events to occur: This is the most common writers block and the one that occurs the most often. Don't worry about it, it happens to everyone; I admit it is an important factor that adds the quality of the events that are described. All you have to do, is sit back, relax and imagine how would it look like. What would cause you to be interested? What would draw your attention? How would it look like? As soon as you find an answer, write it down.

 

The overall plot: This is a less often writers block than the previous one, and don't worry it happens to everyone in the beginning. About this one: Take your time. Don't rush it, think it over, carefully. In the end you will make a quality story and will have great results.

 

I hope this helped.

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Spam fest is over :tsk:

 

And more particularly the following users should consider themselves officially warned for spamming: RC 1162, DarkLord_Revan and Hallucination (Jedi_Knight_707 too but he's already on "forced" vacations)

 

 

 

ForceFightWMe12: keep it up! What I saw between the spam posts looked pretty good :)

 

edit: I did some cleaning in the thread.

 

RH Edit: Apologies are considered spam too!

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Welcome to the Forums, Master Revan.

and its good to know that your chapter is almost finished. although, i think writers block is contagious, since im suffering from it too, and i have a stupid drill to do tomorrow in our annual sports day. talk about cr@p.

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I've read your "Plight of Darkness", ForceFightWMe12 (btw you picked a great screen name :D) or at least all that you've written thus far. With the understanding that you are only thirteen years of age, I, like most everybody, think you've written some great stuff here. FYI, I'm in the 30+ club so I'm sure I'm over the hill as far as you're concerned. :xp: But IIRC MDKnightR may give me a run for my money in the age department... :naughty:

 

PROS

I think you demostrate skill with writing live conversation into your story, an area where many other writers struggle. I also enjoy the freshness and innocence you use to portray Revan and Elron. While the romances between the two couples encounter obstacles, as most romances do, you make these obstacles seem so simple to overcome if only the lovers could see it thru your eyes. And most of all I enjoy your creativity and imagination. The plot twist with Revan's heritage is a wonderful surprise, as others have mentioned.

 

CONS - (I feel guilty for including these so I spoilerized them. Read them only if you really want to)

 

You're already aware of your weakness with spelling. I only mention it because IMO if a writer wants to capture her readers' full attention then it's important to eliminate spelling errors as they are potential distractions to the reader.

I think the only other con is really mea culpa. I'm an old geezer and I've allowed the vicissitudes of life to strip me of my youthful innocence. While I enjoy seeing Revan and Elron through your eyes I don't really see them that way myself. As I read your story the left side of my brain relentlessly whispered that this isn't how Revan and the Exile really are. Unfortunately, and really I mean unfortunately, I see more complexities and nuances and not so much simpleness in my versions of Revan and the Exile. I offer this feedback only as a means to illustrate the differences in your story's audience.

I wish I could borrow The Doctor's time machine and fast forward 10 years, even though that would put me in the *gasp* 40+ club, so I could see what your writing is like then. Keep up the writing girl! The Force does indeed fight with you! :D I look forward to your next chapter.

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FYI, I'm in the 30+ club so I'm sure I'm over the hill as far as you're concerned. :xp: But IIRC MDKnightR may give me a run for my money in the age department... :naughty:

 

And just what is that supposed to mean? :xp:

 

On the contrary, I did find your take on Revan and the Exile to be quite refreshing. Don't let his "vicissitudes" spoil that. By the way, this is the Webster definition...

 

2 a : a favorable or unfavorable event or situation that occurs by chance : a fluctuation of state or condition <the vicissitudes of daily life>

 

Hai Wan must be trying to expand his vocabulary because it looks to me as if he just looked that word up and used it today. I had an art professor in college that did the same thing on a daily basis. Always trying to impress you with his intellect. :rolleyes:

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Hai Wan must be trying to expand his vocabulary because it looks to me as if he just looked that word up and used it today. I had an art professor in college that did the same thing on a daily basis. Always trying to impress you with his intellect.
Awww, come on MdNightR, you can admit it if you were just a wee bit impressed with my diction, o fellow Smallville fan... :xp: In all honesty though I do read a lot and I remember words and phrases that resonate with me and I will later use them in my personal writing. Is that considered plagiarism? If it is then consider me guilty as charged. This method is not without its drawbacks though. I remember a Saturday Night Live skit where the SNL cast spoofed Jesse Jackson using the phrase, "The point is moot!" I thought that was a pretty cool phrase and used it until one day I decided to look moot up in the dictionary and to my chagrin discovered that moot used in that manner is an adjective. The moral of the story? Don't let SNL be your English teacher. :D

And I also freely admit to frequent use of dictionary.com when I am unsure of appropriate use of the words I write. You know, trying to remember if the word is an adjective, adverb, or preposition is a real pain and sure does take a lot of time and effort. Ughh!

 

On the contrary, I did find your take on Revan and the Exile to be quite refreshing. Don't let his "vicissitudes" spoil that.

@ForceFightWMe12 - PLEASE, PLEASE by all that is good and decent I implore you to not let my "vicissitudes" spoil any of your writing. I would be greatly disappointed if you did. I feel you have great skill at writing. Your writing reflects who you are, what you think, what you feel, and I would not want to detract from that. If you're writing just for the joy of writing then either don't read or ignore my stated cons. If however you're interested in one of your "older" reader's thoughts about your story then please understand that I shared these with only the best intentions. Indeed, did I not say that I felt guilty even posting them?

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I'm working on it, I'm working on it...though this block of mine is like trying to ride a bike through a swamp...not that i've tried...

Sounds like that that mood isn't exatcly the type that appears often. Hmm...

 

...I suggest that if you can't seem to get that mood (or inspiration), then try imaginating it. Proof read, and if the results are like the ones you wanted, carry on.

But you have to work really, really, really hard to do that. You will do fine. Believe me.

 

Regretablly, I am not as lucky as you are. When I get some ideas for a potential story, it starts from a mere beginning that features TV shows; after 10 minutes of imagining, the story becomes enormous, long, complex and hard to explain so much, that not even 2 hours are enough for me to write something that will in small part make the story interesting.

 

But, it happens. You have luck and I don't. I hope the advice helped.

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