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Hello From The Woods!


Nitro
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Heyo all!

 

I've spent more time in the woods in the past 2 weeks then I have in the rest of my life... I'm at CFB Greenwood, a Canadian Forces base, where I'm on a six-week course to become a Survival Instructor. We left the Greenwood base the day after I got there and went to the Cloud Lake bivouac site... And we all got ISSUED COMBATS!!!! Full combats, including boots! Anyway, they took us out on a 'camping' trip... then at 1 AM started blasting sirens and yelling at us like they were US Marine Corps Drill Instructors to pack up the site and get ready to move out! Everyone was whining and complaining about it except for me and like 2 others who were loving every second of it... It was Hardcore. Anyway, so while we were all still in a state of confusion from the bugout, we hiked off into the night, and one by one they dropped us off on the side of the road, told us to put our watches and flashlights into our packs and leave 'em on the side of the road... Then they told us to walk 50 paces into the woods, turn around, sit down, and not to move until they told us to come out... It's known as the "Psych-Hike" and it's to see if you can hack it, alone, freezing cold, with no sense of time... Anyway, they picked us up like 4 hours later... I was FROZEN. Anyway, we hiked back to the Cloud Lake site (known from now on as The Site), and went to bed...

 

Basicly all our time is spent at the site, aside from little 1 night trips back to Greenwood once a week to do laundry and banking, and wash... When we got back to Greenwood from the site, we were chanting, "WE STINK! WE LOVE IT! WE WANT SOME MORE OF IT!" at the top of our lungs... We went to the mess before we got to shower, and we LEFT A STENCH in there!

 

Since we're the most senior course at Greenwood, there's a running joke that we eat the basics (The basics being the cadets on the Basic camp)... And one time in the mess, I was sitting next to one, he looked at me strange since I was in combats, and asked me what course I was on... I glanced at him, as I hadn't noticed him before that, said, "I'm on SI," poked his arm gently, turned to my buddies and said, "Hey! This one's plump!"

 

But enough of the base stories... I just got back today from a three-day stay on the woods... It was basicly 5 guys wearing nothing but combats (no watches again), with knives, being shoved into the forest, and told to only come out to refill our canteens and get our uncooked rations... We didn't even get the whole IMP (Individual Meal Pack), just the main course. We built ourselves a lean-to, and then froze to death 2 nights in a row... Our group snared a bunny, and we skinned it and ate it... And the officers gave us extra food and cookies. But that's not the best part...

 

Some time next week they're sending us into the woods, alone, with nothing but a knife for 4 days. It's called the "Solo", and it's the most mentally and physically demanding thing I think I will ever have to do in my life.

 

It's been a blast so far, and I probably won't be back for another 4 weeks, so in case I don't see ya, HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!!!

 

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nitrologo.gif

 

We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York.

We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

 

-Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

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Only Canadians would be crazy enough to send people to freeze to death in the summer!

 

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Was I supposed to eat the heads too? 'Cause I took nooo prisioners!

 

Once again, evil is defeated through the use of decorative agricultural technology!

 

Official forum Psychic

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Originally posted by Nitro:

Some time next week they're sending us into the woods, alone, with nothing but a knife for 4 days. It's called the "Solo", and it's the most mentally and physically demanding thing I think I will ever have to do in my life.

 

CAN THEY SEND ME TOO?

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DAY 1: I seem to have lost my knife and the mean kids in the woods stole my shirt. I'm hungry and it's cold

DAY 2: I've been awake for almost 40 hours and haven't eaten anything. I think I lost a shoe.

DAY 3: I THINK THE NSA IS STEALING MY BRAIN WAVES. AND I'M HUNGRY AND HAVEN'T SLEPT IN THREE DAYS.

DAY 4: DECEASED.

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Step 1: Locate other cadets on their solo missions

 

Step 2: Team up with other cadets

 

Step 3: Have them go hunt something and say you'll make a shelter or something

 

Step 4: When cadet returns with kill and asks why you haven't built anything, butcher and eat cadet

 

------------------

Was I supposed to eat the heads too? 'Cause I took nooo prisioners!

 

Once again, evil is defeated through the use of decorative agricultural technology!

 

Official forum Psychic

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Guest Thrawn

Wow, the Canadians have military bases. biggrin.gif

 

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"You'd have to use a ladder to rise to my level of crap!"

ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn

Rogue 6

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Originally posted by Nitro:

Some time next week they're sending us into the woods, alone, with nothing but a knife

 

. . . and clothes. Please tell us you're at least clothed.

 

Or at least a loincloth or something. frown.gif

 

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It's like I always say: When the going gets tough, the tough . . . switch to artillery.

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Canada?!

 

Try the southern US.

 

1.Loads of biting insects.

 

2.Extreme Heat

 

3.Poisonous(sp?) Plants.

 

4.Poisonous(sp?) Reptiles

 

5.Large Carnivores Reptiles

 

 

When I was 5 I was chanting:GIMME SOME MORE OF THIS ****!

 

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Official Forum Nuclear Terrorist & God of Insanity

 

 

*EDIT*:Carnivores Reptiles are only located in Florida and Louisiana.

 

[This message has been edited by Commander 598 (edited July 22, 2001).]

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Originally posted by Darth Sceltor:

No, they have to find a fig tree with big enough leaves.

This is CANADA. You mean "with small enough leaves."

 

 

------------------

Was I supposed to eat the heads too? 'Cause I took nooo prisioners!

 

Once again, evil is defeated through the use of decorative agricultural technology!

 

Official forum Psychic

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This is how I would proceed.

 

Step 1. Locate fresh water. (make camp.)

 

Step 2. Hike to a near town, get weapons, and food.

 

Step 3. Stay in the town, eat live it up

 

step 4 when they decide to get you, go back to your camp, throw some mud on and wait.

 

Step 5. Ambush the retrevial team, take their weapons, and vechile.

 

Step 6. Become Rambo and destroy the base.

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Then their metabolistic functions would be of intrest only to historians.

 

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Was I supposed to eat the heads too? 'Cause I took nooo prisioners!

 

Once again, evil is defeated through the use of decorative agricultural technology!

 

Official forum Psychic

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