Life....

[Dark Side]

Hey guys my first post im going through some difficult times at the moment and want some advice on what to do in my life. My freinds dad seems to be getting aggressivee with her and IO just dont know what to do i just want to help her.

[Mace MacLeod]

Uh, hey buddy, welcome to the forums!

 

Not sure what advice you're looking for. Define aggressive.

[Dark Side]

He always raises his fist and shouting at her and syaing he will hit her iuf ashe doesnt shut up. Hes raised his fist to me before but as a threat

[Mace MacLeod]

Wow.

 

Okay, first and foremost, if this guy has actually been physically abusive to her or anyone else in his family, this is a conversation you need to be having with your school counselor or a social worker. I don't want to discourage you from seeking advice here, but this is a gaming forum and it really can't offer any tangible assistance for this situation.

 

How old are you two, and what is your relationship with her? Speaking as the father of a 12 year-old daughter, I feel VERY sorry for the first squinty-eyed teenage boy I catch fumbling with her brastrap. And believe me, I think my kid's the greatest girl on the planet, but part and parcel of being a parent is that sometimes you WILL want to strangle your offspring. The important thing is that you NOT actually do it.

 

You said shouting--shouting at her because she left the cap off the toothpaste, or shouting at her because she got drunk, stole his car and drove it into a river? It sounds to me like this guy's reacting (badly) to his daughter's teenage rebellion. He could just have a bad temper and would never actually assault his kid, but without knowing either of you or the circumstances, there's no way I can know that.

 

Once again, you need to be talking to an adult who knows the both of you, and is in a position to provide some sort of intervention if this escalates to the level of physical violence. Hope this helps, and best of luck.

[Dark Side]

Thanks for the advice dude great advice.

 

When i say shouting i mean for stupidstuff like as you said leaving the cap of the tooth paste also he has nearly hit her with stuff and smashed a tv screen on the floor in anger... you would understand why im worried bout her safety now lol.

[Mace MacLeod]

Hey, no problem, man.

 

Dad there sounds like he needs some anger management therapy or something. If you see this girl with unexplained injuries or walking around wearing dark sunglasses on cloudy days, then it's definitely time to bring this matter to the attention of someone who knows what local resources are available to her, and if necessary, alert the proper authorites. Just don't do anything rash, like run away and join the circus or resort to physical violence yourself.

 

Best of luck to you both

[MTV2]

Domestic Disturbance? i would go alert the authorities and tell them what this guy is doing or get her to call Kids Help Phone or something.

[REDJOHNNYMIKE]

It's definitely hard to know what's going on without actually being there, but if he does threaten to use violence on family member and guest then it definitely sounds like you should seek help from an adult in contacting your local authorities.

 

Does she have a mother, family members, or other people he treats this way?

 

It doesn't sound likely, but I do hope it was a misunderstanding.

[Jae Onasi]

Call Child Protection Services (or the equivalent agency for dealing with child abuse in your area) ASAP. It's their job to investigate any potential child abuse cases and deal with the problem. If you think there's abuse going on, the probability is high that there really is abuse going on. The fact that he also raised a fist at you (which could be construed as assault depending on the situation) raises a huge red flag for me. The situation as you describe it is consistent with some of the behaviors of a parent abusing a child.

 

You can also make anonymous call to 1-800-4-A-Child (United States).

 

You do not have to give your name when you call. If they investigate and find nothing wrong, fine. There's no harm done. If they find something wrong, you've helped with a very difficult situation and maybe saved her from getting hurt more.

[MachineCult]

There's no harm done. If they find something wrong, you've helped with a very difficult situation and maybe saved her from getting hurt more.

She could also get really angry with him, it is her Dad after all.

[Cygnus Q'ol]

First things first, put away your lightsaber.

 

JK.

 

Listen to Jae, she'll not steer you wrong.

[Jae Onasi]

She could also get really angry with him, it is her Dad after all.

 

At least she'll be alive and safe to be angry. Sometimes doing the right thing is difficult.

[Point Man]

What Jae said. I admit to being biased (since she's my wife), but I have learned to trust her insight on things like this. If this guy is acting like this in public, he is probably doing more in private.

[Venom750]

I think you should ask someone close to you becasue this is a forum and we don't know you we don't know whats going on and us telling you what to do is not really going to help because in the end its you decision and some could give you some crapped out advice so that. Hope it all works out for you

[Jae Onasi]

I think you should ask someone close to you becasue this is a forum and we don't know you we don't know whats going on and us telling you what to do is not really going to help because in the end its you decision and some could give you some crapped out advice so that. Hope it all works out for you

 

This is specifically the reason I recommended Child Protective Services/Child and Family Services/name in that area (or the 800 number). They're the ones who have the authority, knowledge, and (unfortunately) experience to look into the matter. We can't do anything here, but these agencies sure can, and they will generally move very swiftly, particularly if there's the possibility of physical abuse, which I highly suspect from the description Dark Side gives. If Dad is yelling and making threats with non-family members around, he's likely doing far more when no one outside the family can actually see what's going on.

 

I'm required to report child abuse to the authorities under state regs (and ethics), and this is the agency I contact if I see a child in my office and I have any suspicion whatsoever of child abuse. I've only reported a few times since I'm not in a position to view most physical signs of abuse. The times I was right, the agency was able to intervene and get the children out of some very terrible and potentially dangerous situations. Turns out in one case the kids, all under the age of 6, were living in a drug and prostitution house. I was saddened to learn how horrible their situation truly was. Since I only see them in the office I didn't know just how bad it was--I only saw the tip of the iceberg. However, I was also happy that they were able to get into a safer place. The one time I was wrong, I actually was happy about being wrong--it meant the kid wasn't getting abused. Mom had some questionable parenting skills and the agency worked with her on fixing that, but I was relieved to know the child was OK.

I have had no negative repercussions from reporting, ever. The law, at least in my state and I think in the US, does not allow someone to come after you legally if you report suspected abuse.