Diego Varen Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 The Hotel Mystery Outside in the streets of London, dusk had arrived. There was nobody outside except for the horse and carriages that patrolled around, looking for anybody who required their services. However at ten o’ clock, the majority of the local people, tourists and beggars had gone to bed, ready to get some well deserved sleep for the upcoming day ahead. The only sign of activity at this time of the night was inside the Crow’s Nest. The Crow’s Nest was one of London’s most popular hotels. Tonight, the Crow’s Nest was even more popular, since inside was a posh ball. Three shillings and five pence was the amount of money, required to enter. The Crow’s Nest was a posh hotel and only those people who were “considered to be posh” were allowed to enter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xmovingpicturesx Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Read's sweet. Not much of detective reader, me, but I do got a spot for the Sherlock Holmes novels. Would this be a murder or "other crimes" mystery? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 13, 2006 Author Share Posted October 13, 2006 Read's sweet. Not much of detective reader, me, but I do got a spot for the Sherlock Holmes novels. Would this be a murder or "other crimes" mystery? Thanks for reading, I thought nobody was interested. Well later on, a murder happens and as usual, there are suspects, investigation and the discovery of the real murderer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xmovingpicturesx Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 So it's basically "And then there were none..." sans the train? EDIT: Also sans the "everyone did it" plot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Sounds good Pottsie:D Me like detectives Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 27, 2006 Author Share Posted October 27, 2006 Sorry to ressurect this, but I have the full version now. The Hotel Mystery Outside, in the streets of London, dusk had arrived. There was nobody outside, except for the horse and carriages that patrolled around, looking for anybody who required their services. However, at ten o’ clock, the majority of the local people, tourists, beggars and criminals had gone to bed, to get some well-deserved sleep for the upcoming day ahead. The only sign of activity at this time of the night was inside the Crow’s Nest. The Crow’s Nest was one of London’s most popular hotels. Tonight, the Crow’s Nest was ever more popular, since inside was a posh ball. Three shillings and five pence was the amount of money, required to enter. The Crow’s Nest was a posh hotel and only those people who were “considered to be posh” were allowed to enter. Dead on eleven o’ clock, a horse and carriage approached the Crow’s Nest and an elderly man and a young man got out of the carriage. They were both dressed in an elegant suit. The man had closely shaven-grey hair and he had striking blue eyes that matched the colour of the sky in the day. The woman had long brown hair and she had brown eyes that matched the colour of bark from a tree. The man spoke here. “Well we got here,” He told his friend. “Just in time,” The woman replied, “John Gordon Patrick, if you hadn’t asked for directions,” She paused to catch the breath, before speaking again, “We would have been here on time.” John laughed out loud, waking up some nearby houses. As they shouted and cursed, John and the woman walked in. “Remember Elizabeth, I’m your boss and you’re my assistant, so I decide what to do,” He paused, “And please just call me JP.” JP walked in with Elizabeth following him in. Inside, the Crow’s Nest was one of the most decorated places in London that JP had ever been too. In all his years as an assistant and a detective, he had never seen such a well-decorated place. A waiter approached JP and Elizabeth. “Good evening my fair lady and sir,” He droned, “May I get you and your partner a drink?” JP coughed out loud. “Who her?” He joked, “She is just my assistant. Besides she is too young for me, plus she isn’t my type.” “Well I’ll leave you both too it,” The waiter told them both, obviously bored of the conversation, “Enjoy yourselves.” The waiter walked away to serve another couple. Another waiter walked past and JP grabbed two glasses of wine. He had grabbed them so fast he almost broke the glasses. “The nerves of young people these days,” JP fumed, “Back in my day…” “Sir we aren’t here for a lecture,” Elizabeth told him, “Why don’t we just enjoy ourselves?” Without another word, JP and Elizabeth decided to mingle with the local guests. An hour had passed and both JP and Elizabeth had their fair share of dances with the local guests and they he even wined and dined with several guests too. JP and Elizabeth had returned to dance with each other, but a sound of a gunshot echoed around the room. Every single guest remained silent and they stood still, wondering what had happened. The hotel manager, who happened to be a woman ran into the room. “I’m afraid that there has been a murder,” She announced, her eyes filled with tears, “Please remain calm, while the situation is being sorted out.” JP and Elizabeth approached the hotel manager and comforted her. “It’s alright,” Elizabeth told her. “We’re from the local police station,” JP added, “I’m JP and this is my assistant Elizabeth,” He paused for a moment, taking the woman away from the guests, “Could you show us who got murdered?” The hotel manager nodded, tears still pouring from her eyes. She led JP and Elizabeth through several corridors and soon they had arrived at the basement. Despite the hotel’s clean and beautiful interior, the basement was drab and it was as lifeless as a back alley. Of course, the murder had taken place here. A man was crouched near a body. The body was covered with a rug. JP walked towards the man. “Show me your hands,” He told the man, a tone of anger in his voice. The man’s hands turned, shaking at the same time. His hands were covered with blood. JP got out his handcuffs and he put them on the man’s wrists. “Looks like this is the man we’re looking for,” JP told both Elizabeth and the hotel manager, “Elizabeth take the body away, while I take this man to the station.” Away from the hotel, JP had interviewed the man, who’s name was Henry and he happened to be an employee at the hotel. It wasn’t until after the interview, that JP realised that the man was the waiter who had greeted them. JP believed that the waiter had changed his clothes, but how would that help him being cleared as a suspect? JP decided not to think on it and he relaxed on his brown leather chair. He decided to return to the Crow’s Nest as soon as dawn broke out, he would go back and interview the hotel manager. It might be cruel, but JP needed to know all the facts. Dawn arrived quicker than JP had expected JP took a quick look at his pocket watch. 12:30pm? He had slept in. JP immediately leapt out of bed, had a quick wash and got changed. He didn’t feel hungry, so he knew there was no point in eating. Before dashing to the hotel, JP was going to see if Elizabeth wanted to come. When JP had arrived at the station, all he found out was that Elizabeth had been sent on another assignment, with another senior detective. Women these days, JP thought as he left the station. At the Crow’s Nest, the hotel had acted as normal, trying not to lose any guests. Everyone who had gone to the party last night wondered why the hotel was still open. Most people thought that it would be closed, because of the murder. Because of the murder, some guests had already left, which hurt the hotel’s popularity. JP entered the hotel and found the hotel manager’s office. As JP entered the office, the hotel manager looked up from counting her money. “Oh hello,” She told JP as he sat down, “I didn’t expect to see you again, after last night.” JP didn’t say anything, as he observed her. She seemed to be over the worse. She was acting normally, counting the hotel profits and checking the files on the desk. “Well you’ve been here for over five minutes and you haven’t said anything,” The hotel manager told JP. “What?” JP asked in embarrassment, before speaking again, “Oh yeah, the reason I’ve come back is to ask you some questions about last night.” The hotel manager immediately got out a handkerchief, trying to cry. “I’m sorry,” She told JP, blowing her nose in her handkerchief, “But it is too early to talk about this disaster.” JP lay back in his chair and took out his long wooden pipe and put it in his mouth. After breathing out a puff of smoke, JP returned the pipe to his mouth and began to speak to the hotel manager again. “First off, what is your name?” He asked, “I don’t think I asked you your name.” “My name is Martha,” She told JP. Martha returned her handkerchief back into her pocket. “Secondly, what were you doing at the time of the murder?” JP interrogated, “And answer truthfully, I can’t stand young people lying to me.” Martha took a deep breath and began. “Please don’t interrupt, I promise to tell you the truth,” She paused before beginning, “Last night at quarter to midnight, I was in the basement, with the hotel inspector…” JP leaned forward and interrupted her. “Who was the hotel inspector?” “Don’t interrupt!” Martha warned JP, “Now where was I?” “I believe you did something to the hotel inspector,” JP told her, “I suspect that you killed the hotel inspector and you put the blame on Henry, am I right?” “I…” She began, stuttering, “I didn’t kill the inspector, Henry did! Henry did!” She slammed her hands on the table in desperation, tears pouring down her pale, grief-stricken face, “I could… never stab… a… a… another human being. I… I just… couldn’t!” JP leaned forward, showing ideal emotion. He stared at her, looking at Martha’s watery eyes, which was slowing down to a halt. Soon Martha returned to normal and JP continued his interrogation. The so-called “stab” sounded intriguing. “Very intriguing,” JP began, “Very intriguing how you mentioned you could never stab a human being.” Martha immediately looked confusing. Obviously Martha revealed everything under pressure. “What?” She asked. “Well you mentioned stabbing,” JP told her, “Nobody knew how the inspector was killed, not even Henry, since we didn’t have time to inspect the body, none of us knew,” He paused and a smile appeared on his face, “Strange how you know.” Martha said nothing else. JP leaned forward and continued. “Am I right?” JP interrogated her. Martha hung her head in shame, similar to a dog when it is scolded by its master. “Okay I admit it was me,” Martha told JP angrily, “So you can let Henry out and arrest me. I’ll tell you how it happened. On the night of the ball, a hotel inspector was inspecting on how efficient the hotel was. Overall, he was pleased with the hotel, but then he found the counterfeit money. In desperation, I struggled to force him to the ground, but soon I knocked him out and realised that I had asked my old boyfriend, Henry to meet with me. I hated him so much and I knew the inspector would awaken soon, so I killed the inspector with a kitchen knife that had been left by one of the employees. Henry arrived and he didn’t suspect a thing. I told Henry to keep an eye on the body. It was the perfect way to frame my enemy. The one who had eft me at the altar, ten years ago.” So all in all, alls well that ends well. Henry was released and Martha had been taken into custody. Both JP and Elizabeth found out that the hotel inspector wasn’t killed, but severely injured and Henry had also become the new hotel manager. So all in all, alls well that ends well. The End Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Great story Pottsie, liked the part where she broke dwon to the pressure. This reminded me much of Archived Files, or whatever the series name is in English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 27, 2006 Author Share Posted October 27, 2006 Thanks Jason, I might do a Star Wars version of this at a later date. Archived Files? Don't remember that. Must use Google. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Oh, wait, it's Cold Case, with Det. Lilly Rush. A Star Wars version, eh? Would be interesting to read as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TSR Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 "could you show us who got murdered?" detective tip #57- Always be discreet... good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 28, 2006 Author Share Posted October 28, 2006 "could you show us who got murdered?" detective tip #57- Always be discreet... good stuff. Thanks for the comments, TheSuperRodian. Here is the link for where I've posted The Hotel Mystery in another Forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Wow, it's a great read. Heh, Crow's Nest. Crowy will be happy people still remember him... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 28, 2006 Author Share Posted October 28, 2006 Wow, it's a great read. Heh, Crow's Nest. Crowy will be happy people still remember him... Well actually, I wasn't thinking about our Mod, I remember that the Crow's Nest has been used before in a book or movie. Thanks for the comments Sabre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TSR Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Dude, your subscribed to a pokémon forum... *shudders* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 lol, Pokemon ... Ahh, those old days where i was into the wonderful world of the little critter monsters called Pokemon *runs and hides* lol, anyway ... I enjoyed the read Pottsie, and if your limit was set to three pages, and you had six, wouldn't you get marked down for that? (Thats just what happened, when i was still at school, all those long weeks ago lol). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 lol, Pokemon ... Ahh, those old days where i was into the wonderful world of the little critter monsters called Pokemon *runs and hides* lol, anyway ... I enjoyed the read Pottsie, and if your limit was set to three pages, and you had six, wouldn't you get marked down for that? (Thats just what happened, when i was still at school, all those long weeks ago lol). Trust me, I'm not into it much. Anyway, I'm not sure if all six will be marked, but hopefully it will. Thanks Mr_BFA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Hi, Pott. Finally got your fic. Nicely written. Some mistake occured, but I believe they may are your English spelling. By the way, as a CSI fan, I want to point out that you can't arrest people who hasn't yet committed a crime, like the waiter, you can't arrest him because he's the witness. However, it's greatly written, why don't you proofread this and let Jae to put it into Archive? [No offense here.] “Good evening my fair lady and sir,” He droned, “May I get you and your partner a drink?" I think it's not "sir", a "gentleman" would be more appropriate. “Well I’ll leave you both too it,” As mentioned before, "to", not "too". “Secondly, what were you doing at the time of the murder?” JP interrogated, “And answer truthfully, I can’t stand young people lying to me.” I don't think "interrogated" is appropriate because this made me think JP is forcing her to answer the question. I think "asked" would be more appropriate. Lastly, "a Star Wars version"? Mmm? You copied my idea. I was just kidding. Feel free to write your own story, and I'll be the first to read it and put some of them into my CSI fic, do we have a deal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 Lastly, "a Star Wars version"? Mmm? You copied my idea. I was just kidding. Feel free to write your own story, and I'll be the first to read it and put some of them into my CSI fic, do we have a deal? Hey, I didn't say it was going to happen. It might. I will do it before I release Echoes of Darkness (I'm doing terrible at it at the moment). Thanks for the comments CSI and yes you're the detective expert, so I'll listen to you. The only time I see detective stuff is on TV. And yeah, I sort of rushed the story. We'll just see how good my story is when I get my final marks (Hopefully tomorrow). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Well, it's good...But did you put on the final draft on yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabish Bini Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Nicley written, I enjoy the occasional detective story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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