The Ruin a Wish Foundation

[Endorenna]

Granted, but you get flagged for using Dick and Jane responses.

 

I wish I had a Mac computer.

[Alkonium]

Granted. It's the new MacBook air: made entirely out of air!

 

I wish I could be as open about being bisexual as I am about being an Atheist.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but while admitting it to your friends, you're so happy you have a heart attack.

 

I wish that it would stop raining on my head, it's getting annoying.

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. But now people hate you for answering yes or no

 

I wish I was a catgirl

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but some huge beast catches you and puts you in a stew.

 

I wish that this wish becomes the wish of wishes und wishers, oh, and wishees.

[Endorenna]

Granted, but you get nailed because you use too many non-words in one sentence.

 

I wish there was such a thing as a PS4.

[M@RS]

Granted, but it sucks and you mocked for owning one...

 

I wish for a million dollars (Don't we all?)...

[Endorenna]

^ Granted, but it's counterfit. (obvious ruin )

 

I wish my gerbils were as cute as Reepacheep.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but they're incredibly vain and hatch a plan to assasinate you to preserve their cuteness.

 

I wish I had a cool and awesome snake.

[Bokken]

Granted, but it doesn't like you. And it's big.

 

I wish Eskrima wasn't so painful to learn.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but then it's so eay, nobody wants to learn it.

 

I wish could Sprechen Deustch Perfecten.

[Bokken]

Granted, but you don't speak English well any more.

 

I wish I remembered what to wish for.

[Endorenna]

Granted, but the response is so terrible that you go crazy.

 

I wish my laptop was faster.

[Alkonium]

Granted. It's now so fast you never have any idea what you're doing on it.

 

I wish more robots followed the Three Laws.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, they all do, but life is boring so the human race destroys itself with a nuke.

 

I wish I had a jetpack.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you can't control it and launch yourself into space without a spacesuit.

 

I wish for a DC-15 blaster rifle.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but it's so old and clunky that the gas canister explodes in your face which results in unpleasantness.

 

I wish I had a super-flamethrower.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you accidentally ignite it while cleaning the nozzle.

 

I wish the Clone Troopers in the Clone Wars series were using Phase II Clone Armor.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but they weren't built for it and all die because of their lack of movement.

 

I wish I had Phase 2 armor.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you realise it's really weak against bullets.

 

I wish I had a car.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but you crash into a tree without insurance, and the police arrest because the tree was government property and you were declared a terrorist.

 

I wish I had a super-jet-fighter thingy.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you don't know how to fly it, and crash it into the nearest major political building.

 

I wish I had an ARC-170.

[Endorenna]

Granted, but you don't know how to fly it and smash into a flagship.

 

I wish my pencil had more lead.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you get lead poisoning.

 

I wish I could sing better.

[Endorenna]

Granted, but you were so bad to begin with that the neighbor's cat kills you for singing like him.

 

I wish I could take the text message reciever thing-a-ma-doogie off my cellphone.