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HO! HO! HO!


Darth Avlectus

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This is the card I sent out this year:

 

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Pretty much.

 

 

There's not really anything I want for Christmas. I guess snow on the 25th would be quite nice. :)

 

OK then. I'll kick up the snow maker. Hopefully with the new polar cycle in action, the wind will pick up and you'll get it at your place.

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I want multi-vitamins and fish oil pills so I don't have to eat.

 

WHAT? Why would you not want to eat?! That's one fo the greatest aspects of human nature!

 

And what do I want?

 

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I want 10 do-overs! Seriously! Especially in one instance, where I need to go back about 20 yrs and say: "I do not!" instead of "I do". :dozey:

 

OK. Take the green pill. Only problem is you might get amnesia or at least very hazy memory because the present time for you will vanish and you don't get to keep your memory until you have reached this point again to evaluate whether or not to take another do-over.

 

I want a viz-polar bomber jacket, plane tickets to, to, and from Olympia WA, Muse and Amon Tobin DVDs, and cash money. And I want multi-vitamins and fish oil pills so I don't have to eat.

 

OK. First I want you to go out and get some wooden holland dance shoes and learn how to do their dance.

 

Second you need to grab a boxing getup like the jackass boys used in their skit, boxing in the sporting goods store and prep your buddy for the gig.

 

Then lastly dress up do your dance at times square followed by boxing your buddy (who has to be wearing a dress like Deborah Briscoletti from dragon quest 5).

 

 

When you are finished, clack your heels 3 times, saying "There's no place like boobiez."

 

Your presents will be under your tree.

 

And what do I want?

 

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OK. First, staple your tongue to a desk.

 

Second, glue tacos to your butt.

 

Third, run down the hall like that scaring people as you go.

 

Then when you finish with that, sing Mr. Bean's Version of "Row row row your boat" atop Mt. Tallac.

 

Your present will be located in the basement of the alamo.

 

 

 

 

OK everyone. It's been a jolly time. Merry Christmas!

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