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Pants. Very funny pants.


Wacky_Baccy

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Here are some LOTR pants!

 

"My pants" - Gollum

 

"One ring to rule them all

One ring to find them

One ring to bring them all

And in the pants bind them." - Gandalf

 

"The pants must be destroyed" - Legolas

 

"The pants of the enemy is a gift. Let us use it against him." - Boromir

 

"Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future." - Galadriel

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  • 8 years later...

It's the ten-year anniversary(!) of my first (I think) thread on LucasForums, so I thought I'd give it a damn good bumping, especially since we never got to make much of the prequel trilogy. :):D So, without further ado, have some pants. ;)

 

The Phantom Menace:

 

 

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I have a bad feeling about this.

Qui-Gon Jinn: I don't sense anything.

Obi-Wan: It's not about the mission, Master. It's something... elsewhere. Elusive.

Qui-Gon: Don't center on your pants, Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs.

 

Daultay Dofine: This scheme of yours has failed, Lord Sidious. The blockade is finished. We dare not go against the Jedi.

Darth Sidious [to Nute Gunray]: Viceroy, I don't want this stunted slime in my pants again.

 

 

Anakin Skywalker: You're a Jedi Knight, aren't you?

Qui-Gon Jinn: What makes you think that?

Anakin: I saw your pants. Only Jedi carry that kind of weapon.

Qui-Gon: Perhaps I killed a Jedi and took it from him.

 

Attack of the Clones:

 

 

Anakin Skywalker: Where are you going, Master?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: For a drink.

[Obi-Wan sits down at a bar]

Elan Sel'Sabagno: Hey, you wanna buy some pants?

Obi-Wan: You don't want to sell me pants.

Sel'Sabagno: I don't wanna sell you pants.

Obi-Wan: You want to go home and rethink your life.

Sel'Sabagno: I wanna go home and rethink my life.

 

Chancellor Palpatine: And so, my young Jedi, your first pants at last. It seems your patience has paid off.

Anakin Skywalker: Your guidance more than my patience.

Palpatine: You don't need guidance, Anakin. In time, you will learn to trust your pants. Then, you will be invincible. I have said it many times, you are the most gifted Jedi I have ever met.

Anakin: Thank you, Your Excellency.

 

Anakin Skywalker: From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of pants. And now that I'm with you again... I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you... I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the pants that you should never have given me. My heart is beating... hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very pants, tormenting me... What can I do? I will do anything you ask. If you are suffering as much as I am, please tell me.

Padmé Amidala: I can't... We can't... It's not possible.

Anakin: Anything is possible, Padmé. Listen to me...

Padmé: No, you listen! We live in a real world, come back to it. You're studying to become a Jedi, I'm... I'm a senator. If you follow your pants through to conclusion, it will take us to a place we cannot go, regardless of the way we feel about each other.

Anakin: Then you do feel something!

Padmé: I will not let you give up your pants for me.

Anakin: You're asking me to be rational. That is something that I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could just wish away my pants, but I can't.

 

Revenge of the Sith:

 

 

Anakin Skywalker: The Jedi are selfless. They only care about others.

Chancellor Palpatine: The fear of losing power is a weakness of both the Jedi and the Sith. Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?

Anakin: No.

Palpatine: I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise, that he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create... life. He had such a knowledge of the Dark Side that he could even keep the ones he cared about... from dying.

Anakin: He could actually... save people from death?

Palpatine: The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

Anakin: What happened to him?

Palpatine: He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his pants... which, eventually of course, he did.

 

 

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I've recalibrated the code, warning all surviving Jedi to stay away.

Yoda: For the clones, to discover the recalibration, a long time, it will take.

Obi-Wan: Wait, Master. There is something I must know. [inspects a security hologram]

Yoda: If into the security recordings, you go, only pants, will you find.

Obi-Wan: I must know the truth, Master.

Obi-Wan: It can't be. It can't be!

Chancellor Palpatine: [On hologram] You have done well, my new apprentice. Now, Lord Vader, go and bring pants to the Empire.

Obi-Wan: I can't watch any more!

Yoda: Destroy the pants, we must.

 

 

Senator Bail Organa: Captain Antilies?

Captain Antilles: Yes, your highness?

Organa: I'm placing these droids in your care. Treat them well, clean them up, have the protocol droid's pants wiped.

C-3PO: What?!

[R2-D2 laughs]

C-3PO: Oh, no!

 

;)

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