Boba Rhett Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 I found this list and changed it around a little. I find it very funny. Feel free to add bits of wisdom of your own to the list! 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. You should not confuse your career with your life. 6. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 7. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 8. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 9. Never lick a steak knife. 10. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 11. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. 12. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 13. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 14. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 15. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. 16. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 17. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 18. Your friends love you anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captain_drake Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 Hahahah yep those are pretty much right there rehtt except for 9 you have to lick the FLAT part of the knife and stay away from the sharp part Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 i liked the sleeping pill and laxative one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wraith 8 Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 I agree with most of your points... not all of them... becuase i have learned some new facts when i reached 21 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyBOy Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 I like #15. That one is so true. I just got my license and so have most the people i know. every last person i know thinks they are above average, even when they really suck at driving Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 Dave Barry is funny isn't he Rhett? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannibal Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 They were all good. This one's not funny but still true. Women make legs weak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 Here's my 15 in my 15 years: 1. No matter how ugly and uncoordinated your sister is, your parents will never admit it 2. If things start looking bad, just wait... 3. Studying is for people who didn't understand it the first time around 4. No matter how fast or new your computer is, there is ALWAYS a better one available. 5. 8 hours is WAY too long to make a kid go to school for in one day 6. Sleep is so overrated... 7. When your 15, you don't want to drive, when your 15 1/2 you can't wait. 8. Winning isn't everything, just most of it 9. No matter what your parents say, the team that scores more points is the winner. 10. Don't watch TV in the dark 11. Constantly tapping your pencil in NO WAY makes you ADD 12. The most powerful force in the universe is an angry teenage girl 13. If anything in your life can go wrong, it will 14. Drinking coke gives me a headache (took me three years to figure that out, and all the while i was wondering why i got so many headaches) 15. The art of accurate observation is sometimes called cynicism by those who don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 Originally posted by Tie Guy Here's my 15 in my 15 years: 1. No matter how ugly and uncoordinated your sister is, your parents will never admit it 12. The most powerful force in the universe is an angry teenage girl 15. The art of accurate observation is sometimes called cynicism by those who don't get it. Number one is sooooo, sooooo true... Luckily you only have to deal with number 12 once a month. In regards to the last one....DAMN STRAIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 Since this is a war game's forum these tidbits of wisdom seem appropriate: Murphy's Laws of Combat 1. You are not a Superman. 2. If it's stupid and it works, it isn't stupid. 3. Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire. (This is why aircraft carriers are called "bomb magnets") 4. When in doubt, empty your magazine. 5. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are. 6. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. 7. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. 8. No plan survives the first contact intact. 9. All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds. 10. Try to look unimportant because the enemy may be low on ammo. 11. If your are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short. 12. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack. 13. The important things are always simple. 14. The simple things are always hard. 15. The easy way is always mined. 16. If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat. 17. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy. 18. Incoming fire has the right of way. 19. Friendly fire - isn't 20. If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU! 21. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. 22. Beer math is: 2 beers X 37 men = 49 cases 23. Body count math is: 2 guerillas + 1 portable + 2 pigs = 37 enemy killed in action 24. Things that must be togethor to work, usually cant be shipped togethor, 25. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately. 26. Anything you do can get you shot - including doing nothing. 27. Tracers work both ways. 28. The only thing more accurate then incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. 29. Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out. 30. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take. 31. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right. 32. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captain_drake Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 You go Havoc mean are you sure youre not working at the pentogon or are a sargent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 I'm not that old, but I learned this: never like a girl, or let it get out. Bad things happen. Do not ever think that you know all the facts, because you don't. A girl will believe someone she has never met that says something bad about you rather than you. Never think someone is too stupid. They know more than you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted January 16, 2002 Share Posted January 16, 2002 Never ever stick a cat in the dryer. It will still shed afterwards. This is just about the only important thing I didn't know beforehand in the game of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted January 16, 2002 Share Posted January 16, 2002 14 things i learnt in my years -dont put your hand in the stove -dont put your finger in your mouth -dont beat up your little sister cuz thats big trouble dude -dont ever put your finger in a door slit (ouch!!!) -dont push your opponent while playing soccer -dont fill your school bag too much-it might break and thats embarassing -dont talk with your mouth full in front of your parents -dont lie to your parent-cuz they know almost everything -dont mess with bumble bees -drink your milk cuz its good for you -DO NOT wear an underwear over your pants to show people that your superman!! -When in doubt turn right -its taking part thats more important than winning -if you spend 5 hours a day on forums its possible that you man be grounded! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR2000Z Posted January 16, 2002 Share Posted January 16, 2002 Originally posted by Boba Rhett I found this list and changed it around a little. I find it very funny. Feel free to add bits of wisdom of your own to the list! 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. You should not confuse your career with your life. 6. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 7. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 8. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 9. Never lick a steak knife. ..... Wow. I remember reading an article that in the men's room back when I visited Canada. Never thought I'd see that again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted January 16, 2002 Share Posted January 16, 2002 A few things I have figured out about youth since turning 30. 1.- In you teens, everybody is as self-concious as you are. Some are just better at covering it up than others. The "cooler" someone tries to be, the more embarassed they are. It takes a lot of effort to try and cover it up, so don't bother. Expend your energies on better persuits, be yourself, and enjoy it. Everybody's too self-absorbed with thier own issues to be all that aware of those things that you think are "end of the world" level stuff. In a few years none of it will matter. 2.- Talk to older people. When you reach my age you will wish you were half your age knowing the things you know now. Figure out what those things are now, and take advantage of those of us who have mile-long lists of regrets of the "things I wished I did" and "the things I wished I didn't do had I just known better" Trust me, these things probably aren't the things you're thinking... 3.- Don't bother being embarassed by your parents... before you know it you will be them. It's inevitable, and you can't avoid it. Instead, try looking for the things about your parents that make you proud, and be aware that you will have these attributes as well. Remember, as hard as it is to imagine, your parents were just like you at one point in thier lives. 4.- It's easier, and better in the long run, to stay out of trouble. 5.- Learn to laugh at yourself now. It helps. If you can laugh first and hardest at all your faults, nobody will ever be able to insult you. 6.- In the words of Joesph Campell, "Follow your bliss." Do the things you love without any consideration of other what people think. This is especially important in finding your future job. Don't choose a career path you don't really enjoy just because it pays well. You will be spending a LOT of your life doing it, and it's very easy to grow bitter as you get old, which will happen much sooner than you think. It's nice to look back on something and say, "I'm really glad I chose to do that." Huh... These are FAR more serious than I intended when I stated out,.. but it can't hurt to post them I guess, since they are things I have actually thought about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted January 16, 2002 Share Posted January 16, 2002 Originally posted by edlib A few things I have figured out about youth since turning 30. 1.- In you teens, everybody is as self-concious as you are. Some are just better at covering it up than others. The "cooler" someone tries to be, the more embarassed they are. It takes a lot of effort to try and cover it up, so don't bother. Expend your energies on better persuits, be yourself, and enjoy it. Everybody's too self-absorbed with thier own issues to be all that aware of those things that you think are "end of the world" level stuff. In a few years none of it will matter. 5.- Learn to laugh at yourself now. It helps. If you can laugh first and hardest at all your faults, nobody will ever be able to insult you. Very true.... And add to that this: It goes a long way to not care what others think about you, especially in high school. Your highschool years will be A LOT better, more enjoyable, and less painful if, instead of worrying when others tease you or are different, you forget what they think and be yourself. Also, when trying to "fit in" wiht other people, conisder what your trying to "fit in" to. If you don't "fit in" without changing, then you probably shouldn't be in that group anyways. Instead, find people who you naturally agree with and enjoy, you have more friends that are much more fun and nicer. I've tried to do these two things in going to a new school this year, and i've found them very effective. I do have friends, and all of them are nice, not people who i can't trust or hang out with in public. Hmmm.....maybe i was little to serious as well.....oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer_20000 Posted January 18, 2002 Share Posted January 18, 2002 Originally posted by Tie Guy 6. Sleep is so overrated... Being awake is so overrated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted January 18, 2002 Share Posted January 18, 2002 Let me add "growing up beyond the age of 15 sucks". Don't look forward to it. -- 16-years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDI_MASTA Posted January 19, 2002 Share Posted January 19, 2002 here is my peice of info. when people pic on you or act cool or try to distance themselves from you that just shows their insecurity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SlashAndBurn Posted January 19, 2002 Share Posted January 19, 2002 HA...Great stuff...I particularly like #4....anyone ever try to talk to a jehovas witnes about your beliefs? Watch how quickly theiy feign interest!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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