Second Contest: Story!

[Artoo]

Yes Sherack's next, then no one is after that. If you'd like to take the next chapter just say something. And you can have the one after Sherack. Oh yes and you are in their C-Dog read the Chicago chapter.

[Surfnshannon]

yes i want a chapter but I'm leaving for the holiday Friday - Tuesday to the River. So I don't want to hold anyone up. So if you want I can take the chapter after after Sherack

[Boba Rhett]

Sher should have his chapter up today. You may not have to wait until next week to write your chapter.

[darthfergie]

Originally posted by Crazyus Dogus

When am I gonna be in it? (Or have I already been, gone, and missed it? )

 

Hold on a sec...C-Dog...I thought your profile was fixed? I mean where are your 2000 posts? Or did you forget again?

[Sherack Nhar]

Sorry guys, college is killing me and I can't handle all the work. I gave what I had written so far to Rhett, so he can finish it for me. Again, I'm very sorry for making you all wait this long, especially you STTCT.

 

*goes back to homework*

[Eets]

Come on, Rhett! Where's our chapter?!

[Boba Rhett]

I've been trying! The forums have been down in case you haven't noticed!

 

 

Chapter 18: Texas Gunshot Massacre

 

"Here we are! Texas." Heavyarms jumped up from his seat and made his way toward the front of the bus, salivating. "TEXAS!! The only place where everybody can fully express their emotions and quench their blood thirsts, thanks to the many tools at their disposal!.Joy!"

 

"I don't get it. What do you mean?" said Sherack. "Piss off a texan and the next thing you know, what's left of you will fit into one of Rhett's Pringles cans." "Oh." Heavyarms started jumping up and down, unable to hide his excitement (and the froth on his mouth). Eets, who was now wearing a black shirt and a ski mask, approached Havoc and barked a suggestion. "I think so too, Eets." They tackled Heavyarms to the ground and tied him up to a seat. "At least until we're out of this state." Rommel let out a whistle of admiration and commented: "Wow guys, you just made SHORT work of him!" Everybody started laughing except Rommel and Chase, who stated that he "didn't get the funny."

 

After a long drive on an interstate, contemplating the cattle on either side of the road, and the occasional naked man tied to a goat, they finally arrived in what seemed to be a small rural town. Sherack broke the silence. "I really could use some poutine right now." "Putin..? As in Vladimir Putin? The former KGB spy named Prime Minister of Russia in 1999? Who was simultaneously head of the KGB’s main successor service, the Federal Security Service, and secretary of the presidential Security Council, the powerful advisory body that coordinates the activities of Russia’s armed forces, security agencies and police? THAT Putin?" asked Wraith 5. "Err…No. Poutine. It's a kind of junk food. You've probably seen it before; we just call it that in Québec. You take french fries, pour a lot of sauce on them, and then add a copious amount of cheddar chee-"

 

"CHEESE!?!?" yelled Dash so loud that everybody in the bus thought his lungs would explode. Artoo jumped, which made his toy Chuckles fly into Chase's hands, who then jumped into Rhett's arms, who jumped from his seat, which j... no wait, the seat didn't jump. The bus however, with no driver at the wheel, did slide out of control, and right into a nearby house, which of course conveniently happened to be xwing guy's place. A man sporting a large trench coat burst forth from the house (literally), holding his oversized double-barreled shotgun in one hand and a grenade in the other, began shouting "You , before I spread yer brains out on the pavement like warm marmalade, what in sam-hill are you robbers doin' wit' me house?!? I'm gonna blast alluvya into oblivion!"

 

"Chill xwing. It's us." Rhett commented as he slapped the grenade from xwing's hand. "Oh… well why didn't you say so?" A now calm xwing said as he put away his shotgun. It was only then that Rhett noticed the missing pin from xwing's grenade. "Umm… say xwing… shouldn't that grenade have some sort of pin for which to keep it from exploding?" "Yeah. Yeah it should. You might wanna run for cover." Xwing guy cooly added as he began running for cover. "Holy ****! Hit the deck guys!" Rhett yelled as he dived behind the bus. Everyone in the bus began screaming and several seconds later a loud explosion rocked the bus. Havoc was squeezing Rommel so hard that his lower half had begun to turn blue and an emotionally distraught Artoo was searching for Chuckles. A very excited Chase sat up in the back of the bus. "Guys! Guys! I just had the coolest sneeze!" His sentence was met with blank stares except by Eets who was trying to clean up the lil' "mess" he had made.

 

"Wow. Look at that burning hole." Commented Tie as he looked to were xwing's lawn used to be. "Oh! I get that sometimes after I go to Taco Bell!" squealed Chase. He was again met with blank stares. "….Did anyone else's mind just go to a very unhappy place?" Spoke a now pale, shuddering Sherack.

 

"Geez xwing, Do you really think you need grenades?" Yelled Rhett as he dusted himself off and stepped into the bus with xwing. "Well how else am I supposed to hunt them new modern super deer? Do you have any better ideas?" xwing shot back (figuratively).

 

"… Everybody say hi to xwing."

 

"High xwing!"

 

"Well now that that's over, you can find a seat and we'll be on our way. You might wanna stick to the front of the bus. Oh, and ask Wraith about our Pringles can system. He'll explain it all to ya."

 

Rhett hopped into the driver's seat and started pulling the bus back onto the road. As he did a woman could be heard screaming. Havoc let out a screech and jumped under his seat mumbling something about having his "chotchkees" torn off. Rhett looked into his rear view mirror and saw a small figure running after the bus. "Rhett, stop the bus!" Yelled xwing. Rhett slammed on the bus's brakes which, unfortunately, worked better than those of the girl running after the bus. A loud thud was heard as the girl ran into the back of the bus.

 

"… That sooo wasn't my fault."

 

"Come and help me!" Yelled xwing as he jumped off the bus and ran to the back. He was shortly accompanied by everyone except Rommel, who had unfortunately gotten to close to the back of the bus and had become Chase's new "dress up thing".

 

"Who is she?" Wraith spoke up as Rhett helped xwing carry her into the bus.

 

"It's Dana. She's me lady." Added xwing as he sat her down into a seat. "You don't mind if she comes do you?"

 

"No…. as long as you convince her to drop the lawsuit when she wakes up."

 

"Done."

 

"Good. Can I get this thing going now?"

 

"Please do." Squeaked a Rommel as he crawled to the front of the bus, now covered in lipstick and wearing a flowered chiffon dress.

 

And with that, the bus was back on it's way again. But not for long. They needed to gas up the bus. Chase offered his assistance in the matter but then had it explained to him that the bus didn't run on that type.

 

Twenty minutes later they pulled into the Texas equivalent of Mos Eisley spaceport.

 

"Ok guys. You might as well get out and stretch. It's going to take a while. This thing only gets about .5 mpg in the city…" Rhett said as he walked to the gas pump. Dash giggled and jumped out of the bus to try and find some cheese inside the store. Chase jumped out and ran to the far side of the bus, xwing walked in to the store to try and find some ice for Dana and everyone else went to empty their Pringles cans behind the store.

 

Several minutes later Rhett was finishing up at the pump and xwing comes out of the store and walks over to Rhett.

 

"Well, they didn't have any ice but I did manage to get a pretty cold bag of carro-"

 

His sentence was cut short as a small masked man approached the two of them.

 

"Gimme all your money or I'll cut ya both REAL good!" Yelled the man as he whipped out a small knife.

 

"Dude, I just bought 500 gallons of gas. Do you really think I have any money left?"

 

"That's it. YOU DIE NOW!!" Yelled the masked man as he raised his knife.

 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Stated a calm xwing as he stepped forward and swung open his trench coat revealing a vast arsenal of instruments of pain and destruction. Including what appeared to Rhett to be a small thermo-nuclear device.

 

Before the masked bandit lost complete control of his bowels, he managed to run several feet away then collapse.

 

"Holy hell, man. How do you carry around all that stuff?" splurted out a shocked Rhett.

 

"I work out a lot."

 

"Yeah, well that still doesn't give ya the right to not wear any pants under that coat of yours ya sick basta…" Rhett mumbled as they climbed back onto the bus and yelled for everyone to get back on.

 

They were back on there way but again, yes, again only for several minutes….

 

As they went down the road they began to notice more and more small red lights pointed at the bus.

 

"Say xwing... what are all those lights shining on us from out in the fields?" commented Havoc as one of the lights made it's way to the middle of his forehead.

 

"Oh those? Pay no attention to those. They're just the laser sights on the hunters rifles."

 

"WHAT?!" everyone yelled out collectively as Havoc passed out and dropped to the floor.

 

"Why are they pointing their guns at our bus, xwing?" Yelled a weeping Artoo who was now clutching his Chuckles tightly.

 

"Oh, they're probably just adjusting their sights. Pfft. You guys worry to much. We Texans don't shoot at everything ya kn-

 

Xwing's reply was cut short as hundreds of bullets started ricocheting of the left side of the bus.

 

"Gah! They've opened fire! What do I do? What do I do!?" Screamed Rhett who was struggling to keep the bus on the road.

 

"Pull over! They'll think that we're down!"

 

Rhett slammed on the brakes and sure enough, the firing stopped.

 

"Why the **** did they shoot at us? Yelled Rommel who was still hiding behind a block of Dash's Colby Jack.

 

Rhett jumps out of the bus to survey the damage.

 

"Do you know how much it's going to cost to repaint the side of -- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

 

Screamed Rhett as he saw a giant, bullet hole laden drawing of what appeared to be someone's rendition of a giant deformed deer scrawled across the side of the bus.

 

Chase, who popped his head out of a side window, answered him.

 

"It's my Pretty! I made it with the can of finger paint I found in the back of the bus. Do you like it?"

 

Finger paint? What finger pai…. *sigh* … Tie. Do me a favor and go take Chases Pringles can away from him.

 

"NO! Not my finger paint!" bellowed Chase, which sent Havoc and Sherack running out of the bus to vomit.

 

"It's ok guys. You're… you're only human." Said Rhett as he held his nose as the smell from Chase's, "masterpiece" began to waft near him.

 

*sigh* "Would someone get me out the hose? I need to get this thing off."

 

"Good idea." Replied xwing as he began unwinding the hose. "We don't want this thing on here by the time we hit what people round here like to call "Canon Country."

[Eets]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Artoo]

ROTFL!!! :rofl:

 

I give it a solid 9 thumbs up.

[Tie Guy]

Excellent Chapter, Rhett!!!

 

 

"Guys! Guys! I just had the coolest sneeze!"

 

LOL

[Darth Homer]

"Come and help me!" Yelled xwing as he jumped off the bus and ran to the back. He was shortly accompanied by everyone except Rommel, who had unfortunately gotten to close to the back of the bus and had become Chase's new "dress up thing".

................

"Good. Can I get this thing going now?"

 

"Please do." Squeaked a Rommel as he crawled to the front of the bus, now covered in lipstick and wearing a flowered chiffon dress.

 

lol!!! :rofl: :lol:

[Sherack Nhar]

Thank you Rhett. You've done a great job of finishing the job, I doubt anyone here can distinguish your parts from mine! Excellent work!

[Boba Rhett]

Thanks guys. Who has the next one? Who are we picking up next too?

[Boba Rhett]

We really should make a list of who's been picked up and who hasn't so we know who we can use in the story.

 

 

Anyone care to do so?

[Darth Homer]

I've got time so I'll get to work and e-mail you the results, Rhett...word 2000 format ok?

[Boba Rhett]

Yup.

[Darth Homer]

on second thought, I'll just post it here for all to view

 

1. Rhett

2. Eets

3. Dash

4. Havoc

5. HeavyArms

6. lost HeavyArms

**enters Canadia**

7. Rommel (aka Mini-me)

8. Sherack

**leaves Canadia**

9. Wraith5

10. HeavyArms makes it back in

11. Kurgan’s cow gets killed

12. Chase (Lord help us)

13. Wraith9

14. Leon

15. Crazy Dog

16. Young David

17. Mith’raw’nurodododow…uhm, Thrawn

18. Tie Guy

19. WolfmanNCSU

20. me, Darth Homer

21. Jediduo

22. Darthfergie

23. Artoo & Chuckles

24. Jatt

25. Xwing guy & Dana

**Now in Texas**

 

If I've left anyone out, it was purely by accident, please let me know and I'll update this accordingly

[Sherack Nhar]

I wonder why some people (ie Homer) spell it 'Canadia', and not 'Canada'? Is this a joke I might have missed or what?

[Darth Homer]

yes, it was intentional...I know how to spell Canadia properly, i just choose not to. It's just a little way to make fun of you, eh?

[xwing guy]

ROFL! Thats the best chapter yet I think Rhett! (well duh its my chapter why wouldn't I think that?) By the way, Dana usually doesn't wear makeup of any kind, she don't need to she looks good enough as she is:D and she don't wear dresses either, she usually wears shorts this time of year to show off her fine tanned legs. And if anybody wants to include her in their chapter and doesn't really know what to put down just ask me cause I know her well my AIM is therock030488 and MSN contact is the_rock030488@hotmail.com. I think she'd be a nice addition considering that shes different from us(well we get along well though but she ain't like any of the rest of yall). And just incase yall are wondering, no she ain't my g/f, now anyways, shes stuck with some guy right now and has been since like May, but maybe one of these days.......

[darthfergie]

I'm'a thinkin we're a gonna go oun durn to dat der Mehico ta pik urp Compa_Mighty sos he canna go'an joen dis ciester of da Ferums. I'm'a thinkin abut ritin dat der chapter so don't non of yawl go'an try ta tak it'a froom me now.

 

TRANSLATION

I think we're going to go on down to Mexico and pick up Compa_Mighty next. I'm thinking about taking that chapter if no one has any objections...

[xwing guy]

Thats find Fergie, as long as you have my woman in it I have no objections. I might even post her pic on here one of these days, or not cause of all these stalkers here.

[Tie Guy]

Originally posted by xwing guy

I might even post her pic on here one of these days, or not cause of all these stalkers here.

 

*looks around nervously*

 

Anyways, thats fine with me ferg, but i wanna do at least one more chapter, maybe the one when we pull up in San Rafael....

[Jatt13]

yay! i made the list! good chapter, rhett, but you didn't even mention me! i'm gone for a couple of days and everyone forgets a/b me. sheesh. oh well. just make sure it doesn't happen again!

[Darth Homer]

uhh.....who's up next? I'll write a chapter if needed, but I've just started a new job today (thank you, I'll try to up hold the etiqutte of this forum.........um, on second thought, I'll just go by their guidlines).

 

Anywho, we've just entered Texas and have picked up everyone on my last post (xwing & Dana were the last). We need to figure out who to pick up next and where to go to do it.