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Second Contest: Story!

Boba Rhett

By Boba Rhett
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Artoo Newbie

Artoo

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Originally posted by Jatt13

ok, i looked in the other story contest thread, and it looks like it'll be tie guy and wolf in north carolina. some1 tell me if that's right, and i'll start. (sorry to be so helpless, but i don't want to mess up the story.) :D

 

Well that would be true, except that we need to drive around the great lakes and pick up Wraith 5, Minnesota Twin Cities, woohoo! And then it will be up to havoc where we go.

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darthfergie Newbie

darthfergie

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Originally posted by Tie Guy

BTW, eets, Heavyarms is....no longer with us.

 

Nah he grabbed on to the bumper and smashed through the back window and promptly fell on his head because he tripped over Rommel. Knocked himself out and forgot about the whole thing;)

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Sherack Nhar Newbie

Sherack Nhar

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Originally posted by Eets

"Take me with you! For the love of god, TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!" Said the man who had just ran into the front of the bus.

*falls off chair laughing*

 

Great story guys :) And Eets, I just knew you were going to bring up the ignorant french bastard thing again! :p

 

Oh, and I volunteer to write xwing guy's entry! :)

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Eets Newbie

Eets

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Originally posted by darthfergie

Nah he grabbed on to the bumper and smashed through the back window and promptly fell on his head because he tripped over Rommel. Knocked himself out and forgot about the whole thing;)

 

 

Er yeah.. that's it.. ^_^

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Jatt13 Newbie

Jatt13

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ok, here we go:

 

Chapter 8:

 

As Rhett drove down the road and out of Quebec, Dash was going through cheese withdraw.

 

"c'mon, man, I need some cheese! I'll go insane if I don't get some, and fast! We must've passed 50 truck stops already! Can't we just stop at one?" Dash wined.

 

"No!" yelled Rhett "I don't want to stay in canadia any more than I have to! man, this place gives me the willies. And no one would notice if you went crazy. So, where to next?"

 

"I think it's Wraith, in Minnesota. but before we go there, can we get some cheese?" Dash asked hopefully

 

"No! Good, Minnesota. I can get some real beer there" says Rhett.

 

"Look, a truck stop! Can we stop there?"

 

"No!"

 

"Can we stop there?"

 

"No!"

 

("how long is this gonna go on?" Sherack asked Rommel)

 

"How bout there?"

 

"NO!... wait, yes! That looks like a place where I can refill this thing!" Rhett pulls off his hat that had an empty 6-pack in it and looks at it in disgust. "They need to make these things bigger." he complained.

 

As he pulls into the parking lot of a HUGE truck stop (taking the fender of a big rig with him), Dash sighs in relief. "Finally, cheese!"

 

As they walk into the truck stop, Dash heads straight towards the cheese rack (yes, truck stops in canada have cheese racks), Rommel heads toward the bathroom, Sher strikes up a conversation in french w/ some guy sitting at a table, and Eets heads toward the nearest fire hidrant. Rhett looks around, grabs some booze, and heads to the counter to pay. After buying it, he promptly pours all of it into his hat and starts sucking.

 

All of a sudden, he turns around and spews it into the face of a burly truck driver. "What is this crap?!" he yelled "This isn't beer! This is disgusting!" I wouldn't drink this if it was the last beer on earth! Ok, maybe I would, but I still don't like it! This is..."

 

Rhett's verbal abuse of Canadian beer slows to a stop as he noticed the look the truck driver was giving him. "So you don't like our beer?! I'll teach you to like it, or you'll dietrying!" the canadian draws back his fist and slams it into rhetts gut. "I didn't mean it!" Rhett gasps. "Look, I'll drink some more, right now!" Rhett takes a big gulp and ends up spewing it into the man's face again.

 

"Wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Don't hurt me! please?" as Rhett pleads for his life, the big canadian advances on him. "EETS!!! HEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEE!!"

 

(cue heroic Eets theme music) Eets comes flying through the front window and lands on the truck drivers back. "Help! There's a wooly mammoth on my back! get it off!" The man shakes Eets off, but he runs up and bites him in the crotch. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" the man screams. Let's get out of here, guys!" Rhett yells as he runs out the door, w/ the rest following him.

 

As they ran onto the bus, Rhett said "Eets, you saved my life! how can i ever repay you?" Eets thinks for a second, and then says "Ruff ruff, roof ruff!" "Awww, c'mon, anything but that!" "ruff, RUFF!!" "oh, okaaayy, you can drive." Rhett says dejectedly as makes his way to the back of the bus. "Ruff ruff ruffy ruff ruff!"

"What'd he say?" asked Rommel. "He said" answered Sher "Here's something to cheer you up!" Eets pulls a magizine from under the seat and carries it to Rhett in his mouth. "Wow, Eets! thanks! You really ARE man's best friend!" "What kind

of magizine is that?" asked Sher. "You don't want to know" Replied Rhett.

 

As they pull out (taking another fender with them) Rommel looks back and sees Dash running behind the bus, carrying a huge mound of cheese. "Wait for me, guys!" "We forgot Dash!" yelled Rommel. "Aww, let em walk" said Rhett. Eets gives rhett a look and pulls the bus over. "thanks, guys." says Dash as he climbs onto the bus. "you know i couldn't leave without my cheese! anyway, on to minnesota!"

 

as Eets pilates the bus down the road, the rest settle in for some sleep, Dash on his pile of cheese. "wake me when we get to minnesota!" he yelled to eets. "ruff ruff!" "hey, watch your language!"

 

as Eets pulls into Hugo, he wakes the gang up by laying on the horn. Rhett groggily sits up and swings for his alarm clock, which of course isn't there, so he ends up hitting Dash in the face. dash yells "hey, what'd you do that for?!" "you should watch where you're going" replied Rhett. "you triped and hit your head on my fist." Dash, still stupid from just waking up, says "I did?" "yep, and don't let anyone else ever tell you different."

 

"so, where does Wraith live?" Rhett asked "ruff roof bark" "oh, a dorm? ok, to the college we go!" Eets drives to the closest college. "hey, where are all the college chicks?" asks Rhett. "still sleeping. it's only 5 a.m.!" "oh, that's right. anyway, you've used up all my gratefullness, eets, so let me drive now!" "ruff!" "oh, yeah, well so's your mama! now let me drive!" Rhett runs to the front of the bus and grabs the wheel. "get out of my way,

you stupid dog!" at that, Eets bites Rhetts wrist, making Rhett turn the wheel sharply, making the bus slam through

a wall of a dorm. "AAIIEEEE!!" a high pitched voice screamed "what are you doing in my room?!" "well, it's not

Wraith, but we could stay here!" Rhett said. Eets just growled and backed up the bus. "I still want to drive!" Rhett

leaped forward to grab the wheel again, but accidentally hit the gas pedal, so they slamed through another wall, this

time backwards. "What the $@*#?!" "hey, it's Wraith!" cried Dash "get on!" "I'd love to, but I can't! I have to finish designing

my webpage so I can pass!" "Aww, you can do that any old time! how often do you get to go to a 1 year reuniun for

the forum?" "I guess you're right" "of course I am! now get on the bus!"

 

so Wraith got on and they tore out the oppisite wall to get out. "nice driven', Eets!" "my stuff..." and they got on the

interstate. "next stop..." Dash started "next stop, budwiser hq!" cried Rhett "ruff ruff, ruff!" "ok, i guess there

will be plenty of beer at the party. Hey, who's this?" Rhett had just seen Heavyarms' legs sticking out from under a seat.

"It's Heavyarms! What are you doing back on the bus? I thought you fell out!" "Well, I grabbed onto the bumper and swung

through the window a few hours later when i saw the bus stop at a truck stop. But I got knocked out. What's been going on?"

"We'll tell you when you're older" Rhett said.

 

as they drove down the highway, they didn't know where they would end up but they did know that there would be good times

and bad times, laughter and tears, and... oh, to hell with it. they're just in it for the fun!!

 

 

well, there it is! hope you like it!:D

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Tie Guy Newbie

Tie Guy

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Originally posted by Havoc Stryphe

Great Chapter Jatt! :D Rhett, you seem to become more of a pervert with every chapter! ;)

 

Yes, at the end we must count up all the underage things he does. :D

 

BTW Ferg, that line goes right over where i live, though you almost circled around it to get there. ;)

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Havoc Stryphe Newbie

Havoc Stryphe

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Chapter Nine:

 

The stars were easy to see on that clear Minnesota night sky, and the fool, I mean, full moon reflected off the silver top our heroes' bus which was heading down the highway, steady as she goes. However it wasn't long until the riders and driver began to feel a little tired and run down. Finally Eets had enough, and pulled the Bus off the road.

 

"What's the matter, Eets?", Rhett asked his faithful companion.

 

The chihuahua said nothing as he jumped down off the driver seat, walked down the bus aisle and promptly jumped up on to another seat, curled up in a ball and immediately fell asleep.

 

"I'm guessing he's a little tired", Wraith 5 replied after watching Eets.

 

"Really? I'm glad you're here to tell us these things!", Havoc replied as he rolled his eyes.

 

"Hey, there's one important lesson I've learned at college!", Wraith 5 started.

 

"What's that?", Havoc asked

 

"A place where you continue your education beyond High school.", replied Wraith 5 matter-of-factly.

 

Rhett tried to ignore that last comment as he realized that was two minutes of his life he'd never get back.

 

Rhett decided to bring the conversation back on track, "I Have a feeling he's not the only one who's tired.", he commented as he scanned the bus seats and noticed most of the forummers had fallen asleep or were trying to. "I suppose, we should get all get some sleep"

 

"But Rhett, we'll lose a lot of time!" Havoc cried after hearing Rhett's suggestion, "We can't just park the Bus all night!"

 

"I know, but no one is awake enough to drive" Rhett replied flatly.

 

"I can drive, Rhett.", it was Dash, "All that Cheese has stopped me up worse than a wookie's shower drain! I couldn't sleep right now, if I wanted to."

 

"There's just one small problem with that idea", a nervous Sherack spoke up at hearing his life was being placed in Dash's hands.

 

"I don't think Rommel would be a problem If I drove", Replied Dash.

 

"No, not that small problem the other small problem: I thought you didn't know how to drive a bus!" replied a worried Sherack.

 

"Hey, if a dog can do it, than I certainly can! How hard could it be?" Dash replied confidently.

 

Rhett was going to reply, but exhaustion got the better of him. So he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Have at it! Just remember, we're heading to Iowa to pick up my brother, Chase, and then straight over to O'Hare. Got it?"

 

Suddenly from the back of the bus came an excited voice, "Alright! We're going to have a chase? Now this trip is starting to get good!" It was Heavyarms, his testosterone and adrenaline levels off the charts as usual.

 

"I didn't say a chase, I said we'd pick up Chase on the way to O'Hare!" Rhett replied flatly, so tired his temper was climbing.

 

"Well of course we'd have to pick up the pace if were going to be chasing a rabbit!" Heavyarms responded, so excited now, he was almost out of his seat.

 

"What the hell are you talking about?", shouted a very annoyed Rommel, "All your stupid excitement and yelling has cut my nap short!" Snickers and muffled laughter filled the bus.

 

"I'm not as stupid as you think, guys!, Replied Heavyarms, "I know that the other name for a rabbit is a hare!" He quickly added beaming proudly.

 

"Not a hare you twit, O'Hare as in, the airport!" Snapped a now very tired and very angry Rhett.

 

"That doesn't make any sense. Why would we be chasing an airport?" asked a thoroughly confused Heavyarms.

 

"We're not chasing anything, you dote!", cried an exasperated Rommel, "Can't you just let it go, sit down, and be quiet!"

 

"I don't know, Rommel, that's a pretty tall order.", Havoc answered with smirk. Again, more snickers and muffled laughter filled the bus.

 

Rhett tried one more time, "We're going to go to Iowa to pick up Chase Windu, my brother, before heading to O'Hare international Airport in Chicago, Illinois. Now do you get it?"

 

At first Heavyarms seemed a little bummed at the news there was going to be no high speed chase, but then he perked up and asked, "Wait a second, Your brother is Mace Windu?"

 

"Dude, has reality ever caught up with you?" asked an amazed Wraith 5.

 

This whole time, Dash had already seated himself behind the wheel, got the bus back on highway, and had been making tracks for Iowa. And as the bus approached the border of Minnesota and Iowa, there was one last exit marked Interstate 90 East to Wisconsin. At the sight of Wisconsin, Dash forgot all about his cheese induced bout of constipation.

 

Instead, all he could think about was all that famous Wisconsin cheddar, and, of course, one of those foam cheese-head hats. Amidst all the yelling and arguing, no one seemed to notice the bus take that fateful exit onto I-90 east towards Wisconsin and all that wonderful cheese.

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darthfergie Newbie

darthfergie

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Ch. 10: Cheese Nips

 

It morning because you can tell from the loud horn going off inside the bus. The bus had been parked outside a Cheese Factory and a lonely figure had his head resting on the horn. It was Dash...or at least some THINK it was Dash. Many would say he would never Dash again

 

"AWWW GEEZ!!!" *KaPow!*"Did I hit 'em?"

 

"GAH!!! MY MAGAZINE!!!" yelled Rhett.

 

"Necesary casuality of war" replied HeavyArms in a grogy tone.

 

"Ruff arf yip BARK!"

 

"Aww shutup Eets, we're not gonna let you out of the bus to go after some girl dog again."

 

"RUFF GRRRRROOOOOWWWL"

 

"Don't use that tone with me Mister!...OH CRAP I JUST SAID THAT?!?!? Gimmie my magazine...ahhhhhhhhh"

 

"Hey guys for some reason I don't think Dash will ever be small again" said Rommel.

 

*Snickering*

 

"HEY I'M SERIOUS GUYS! HE'S GIANT!"

 

*Sherack falls of his seat laughing so hard*

 

"Oh my oh my oh my. It looks like Dash has consomed enough mass to be consumed by that mass...thus critical mass is at hand." said Wraith 5

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"Look at the bloating and widening of the stomach here and examine these fragments of yellow dairy products all over his chest. Only one conclusion can be made. His passion of cheese has absorbed him." said Wrath 5.

 

"Hmmm. Well I guess we can take him into my brother's house and leave him there to recover." said Rhett.

 

"Um...Rhett...that big factory over there doesn't look like your house...and I don't see a tree for miles...just buildings." said Havoc

 

"Huh? HAvoc did you steal some of my...oh...crap."

 

*unanimously* "DASH!" "Why did you go to Wisconson!?!?"

 

*groan*"Must you really ask? I was weak I was down to two rolls of cheese and Wisconson is the cheese capitol of the world. Heck I don't know why it ISN'T THE capitol of the world! Hmmmm. I'm hungry."

 

*And Dash promtly falls back to sleep*

 

"Somebody move him. We've got to get going." said Rhett.

 

"Don't look at me. He's too big!" replied Rommel.

 

*Laughter burst out from under Sherack's seat*

 

"Havoc you and I can move him...Eets come over here and help us."

 

"Ruff Yip"

 

"Hey come on Eets this guy is HEAVY."

 

*Havoc and Rhett slowly move Dash, but because of his wieght it is slow going...until Eets bit Rhett's Anckle that is*

 

*Havoc just stood there in wonder* "I've never seen anybody move that fast since my wife found out about...erm...yeah. Anyway...How in the world did you carry a 500 pound ballon to the back of the bus in .07 seconds?"

 

"Yip Woof"

 

"I'm gonna kill you Eets!"

 

"Arf yip woof woof ruff bark"

 

"Dang it. Your right. Who WOULD I have to save me?"

 

"Depends on the type of saving. If you need saving from a bear or a Terrorist...have no fear. For I am here!" boasted HeavyArms

 

"But if you need saving from my wife your dead." said Havoc.

 

"Well at least we're not too far off track. Since Wisconson is inside America and..."

 

"WHAT!?!?!? AMERICA?!?!?!? YEEEEEHOOOO!!!!"

 

*before anyone could stop him Sherack bolted upwards to run outside...unfortunatly the bolt was stoped by the top of the seat*

 

"Well at least he didn't go kiss the ground like they do in all those movies."

 

"Hey guys. Can one of you grab me some more cheese. I'm out."

 

*Rhett climbed into the driver's seat and started pulling away*

"NOOOOO I NEED MY CHEESE!"

 

"You'll get it." said Havoc as he closed his eyes.

 

*WHAAAM!!! CRASH!!! THUD!!!*

 

"Heheheheheh! It's raining CHEESE!!!"

 

*As the bus pulled out of the opposite parking lot it you look back you could see the Factory's South Wing collapse to the floor and Police Cars rushing to the scene. Turning at the light Rhett pulled onto the interstate and left the Cheese Capitol behind*

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I NEED CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!"

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Tie Guy Newbie

Tie Guy

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Posted

Geez...i never thought my cheese joke would go so far....:)

 

anyways, great chapters. I laughed so hard that i'm cramping up....no wait...thats because i just played a tennis match in 100 degree whether....but it was still funny. :D

 

I guess Artoo's next...

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Artoo Newbie

Artoo

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OK, I wanna write the O'Hare chapter, not the Chase Chapter. So go right ahead Rhett, it's yours. (like you need my consent)

 

I call O'Hare right after Rhett!!!

 

 

Next chapters:

 

Rhett

Artoo

 

Oh and you'll need to modify your map a little fergie. ;)

 

edit: oh yeah, Most Excellent Chapters All 3 Of You Guys. :D

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