RicardoLuigi... Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 got this in a chain mail type thing. i thought some of them were pretty funny. there was other stuff, too, but i liked this part the best. ever wonder... -why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? -why women can't put mascara on w/their mouth closed? -why don't you ever see the headline "psychic wins lottery"? -why is "abbreviated" such a long word? -why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? -why is lemon juice made w/artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made w/real lemons? -why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? -why is the time of day w/the slowest traffic called "rush hour"? -why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? -why didn't noah swat those two mosquitoes? -why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? -you know that indestrctible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? -why don't sheep shrink when it rains? -why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? -if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress? -if flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mapixx Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 Originally posted by Das Mole ever wonder... -why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? -why women can't put mascara on w/their mouth closed? -why is lemon juice made w/artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made w/real lemons? -why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? -why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? -you know that indestrctible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? [/b] Nice! the last is true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaper Girl Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 I tried puting on mascara with my mouth closed, but ended up smashing the mirror in fustration. I hate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinkie Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Originally posted by Das Mole -you know that indestrctible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? It's too dense, you could never get something that heavy off the ground, well not without an extaordinary amout of fuel, which again increases your weight, and potential for destruction. Come on, everyone use science to derail these questions one by one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien426 Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 > -why don't you ever see the headline "psychic wins lottery"? Cause they are charlatans? > -why is "abbreviated" such a long word? You can abbr. it. > -why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? AFAIK cats don't really like to eat mice, just chase and kill 'em. > -why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Do they? > -why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Because the rain is not 90° C warm? > -if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress? Yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrMcCoy Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Originally posted by Das Mole got this in a chain mail type thing. i thought some of them were pretty funny. there was other stuff, too, but i liked this part the best. ever wonder... -why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? -why women can't put mascara on w/their mouth closed? -why don't you ever see the headline "psychic wins lottery"? -why is "abbreviated" such a long word? -why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? -why is lemon juice made w/artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made w/real lemons? -why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? -why is the time of day w/the slowest traffic called "rush hour"? -why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? -why didn't noah swat those two mosquitoes? -why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? -you know that indestrctible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? -why don't sheep shrink when it rains? -why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? -if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress? -if flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Originally posted by RoyTordesLegend No. indeed. ps.. i got your pm, roy, but am not sure yet. hmm.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Well, I am. Wait. What are we talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 *cough*horsedoodleservedsoup*cough* i think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natty Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 I can put mascara on without opening my mouth... infact I can do all my eye makeup without opening my mouth. Of course I kind of have to open my mouth when putting lipstick/lipgloss/ lipliner etc on, but that's different. You kind of have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyTordesLegend Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit Well, I am. Wait. What are we talking about? We're talking about a joint celebration marking a very special moment in the history of Jones and Tordes......and it's coming in the next 5 days!!!! Call it the anniversary of R-day(s) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 oh. a joint.. *starts smoking it* teeheehee. look i am from china. -______- .. ^ (authentic ray pause) (authentic ray end) V Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrMcCoy Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 argl... i'm too stupid... i just noticed that i quoted everything... i just wanted to mention that: -why didn't noah swat those two mosquitoes? Because all the stories in the bible are filthy lies... or at least just stories... (imho)... ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinkie Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Scientists have evidenc of the middle east flooding around Biblical times, but not the whole world. At least I think it was the middle east. Somewhere over there for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshi Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Which they probably thought of as global considering they didn't think to look. And I doubt he took on mosquitoes, insects and such wouldn't have had a suitabvle living environment abourd the ark for 40 days and would have died on the arc. My guess is, all insects either lived in very tall tress or just evolved later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Is it possible to be totally partial? Why do people call it a TV set when you only get one? If buttered toast always lands butter side down, and a cat always lands on it's feet, what would happen if you dropped a cat with a piece of buttered toast tied to it's back? If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink? Did ancient doctors refer to IVs as 'fours'? Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays? If the pencil #2 is so popular, why is it still #2? If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just live 10 miles away? Why can't I set my laser printer on 'stun'? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it a success? Is there another word for synonym? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? What's another word for thesaurus? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicardoLuigi... Posted June 11, 2004 Author Share Posted June 11, 2004 If the pencil #2 is so popular, why is it still #2? the "2" refers to the softness of the graphite in the pencil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshi Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Well, as long as Moles actually answering the question, my answers will not be in bold. Originally posted by Siv When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Light Green Is it possible to be totally partial? Part of me says yes Why do people call it a TV set when you only get one? Haven you tried going back to the stiore and asking for three more just to complete it...for free?! If buttered toast always lands butter side down, and a cat always lands on it's feet, what would happen if you dropped a cat with a piece of buttered toast tied to it's back? It won't land, it'll just levitate a few feet above the ground, rotating at a very fast rate If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? For that unknown 25th hour How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink? The pen starts making marks on the paper Did ancient doctors refer to IVs as 'fours'? depnds on what you went to the doctors for. anything more than an itchy arm and the castrated you, true story Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays? Because the world is crazy, happy? If the pencil #2 is so popular, why is it still #2? Rather boriongly answered by Mole If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just live 10 miles away? Because then they'd up the statistic just to annoy us Why can't I set my laser printer on 'stun'? the knob came off, it's stuck on kill If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? On the distant planet Yarg. We are all unnaware that we are participating in an interstellar TV show called earthers. The bible was an early script Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? It's always about the song man. If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it a success? Don't do that, creating paradoxes such as this one would destroy the universe. And that's not nice. Is there another word for synonym? wordalika, it's a word! When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? You turnip, they wouldn't have signs! What's another word for thesaurus? otherwordhole, it is also a word Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? A clean gas petrol station bathroom toilet is an unholy thing. They are saving us from the wrath of god. Plus, someone could nick the soap. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? No, the rest laugh and then hide the poison If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? I'm always hungry. It's a sickness. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? Tho thorry Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? To keep us waiting If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? Sey[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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