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Cantina: The Holiday Special 3!!!!!!


Deac
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MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's that time of year again, with it being the first of advent and all...so...let the crazy, hilarious godmode festive fest begin!

 

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*Deac is sitting in the Cantina, writing some cards. It is snowing outside*

 

Deac: Hmmmm. Snow. That means it's a holiday special.... what are those evil little Darkstars planning now?

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Matt: What's wrong?

Director: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! YOU AREN'T FROM THIS UNIVERSE!

Matt: what?

*disappears in a puff of smoke*

Greer: That's odd....I felt something familiar about him, as if though we were created by the same person. Oh well. What's that letter say Deac?

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Nom laughs at Greer.

 

"It's highly likely," he said. "I've spoken at times to my creator. He has so many others running around that I just don't know how he can stand it."

 

"Some have gone inactive, of course," Tarila added. "It's only logical that when a specific universe drops out of sight, the people in it would be inactive."

 

((Tarila is speaking of when threads go off the page:D ))

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*Someone comes flying through the window, it's Jammes. He picks himself up and dusts himself off.*

 

*Sellenna walks in.*

 

Sellenna: Has anyone seen Taklin, what ever you don't let him have any...... Oh no.

 

*Flax has just downed another beer.*

 

Flax: Berr, id god!

 

*Falls unconcious.*

 

Sellenna: He still has berevement issues.

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Deac: This time...it's worse than ever!

 

"Dear Deac...

As you know, as part of the festive season it's up to me, Reletha

-And me, Lokpihet

To try and ruin it for you all by hatching a crazy half baked plot that would get me banned in any other thread but gives you an excuse to get all your old mates together and stop us.

But not this year. This year, we've taken steps to make sure we actually win for a change.

We've kidnapped Deac."

 

*Orthos enters*

 

Orthos: Hey, that's not right...you're right there!

 

Deac: "By now you will have noticed you have not been kidnapped, but the English Guy who started the cantina and named you after him. In this way we will control what gets posted so we win. MUAHAHAHAHAHA" It goes on in that vain.

 

Orthos: What dastardly egotistical plot is this?

 

*Notices he has been stabbed again*

 

Orthos: Crap. Guess they mean business. Help.

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"Well that was peculiar," Tarila muttered. She shrugged and turned to Nom. "Do you have any idea what's going on here?"

 

 

"Not a clue," he answered.

 

How are we supposed to know?

 

"Who was that?" Tarila demanded. (I laugh)

 

Must you ask, Tarila? It is I! Your creator is speaking to you.

 

"Oh, I see!" she exclaimed. "I thought I was getting voices in my head again.

 

What do you think I am if not voices in your head?

 

"Good question," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I have no idea."

 

And that's as it should be. Back to you ignorance with you...

 

"Love how he just pops in, says absolutely nothing and leaves again," Nom muttered.

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Deac: No time for that now...we have to save the Cantina itself! To the writing offices!

 

Orthos: We have offices now?

 

Deac: I think so. Either that or writer Deac is just some dude sitting at his computer chuckling maniacally.

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Rwos: That would be our creator..."Redwing". Speaking of which, nice how s/he cribs a character's name because s/he was too lazy to think of hi/r own original screenname. On the other hand, your creator did the exact same thing...*He pauses for a moment* I also like how s/he edits what I'm saying to prevent me from revealing hi/r gender.

 

Me: Ha ha. ^_^

 

*Rwos shakes his head* Some people can just be really annoying. [Me: Hey!] Anyway. You say your creator has a writing office?

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Hal: If the Darkstars have Deac we're going to need some more firepower.

 

BD: Okay.

 

*Drago appears, then Daskin and PtH Jammes.*

 

*Allessa taps her foot.*

 

*Nae-Flax appears.*

 

*She continues tapping.*

 

BD: What?

 

Alleassa: You are going to bring Flax out of that.

 

*Flax wimpers and blubs.*

 

BD: How am I supposed to do that? I'm not a God!

 

*She continues tapping.*

 

BD: Okay, OKay, WOMEN!

 

*Sophae appears.*

 

Sophae: What? Did my contract finally get renewed?

 

BD: Get Flax out of the druken stupor and then do not "destract" him.

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Deac: Perchance Deac was a name he already used and so decided to name himself after him and then create me.

 

*Walks into wall*

 

Deac: Hey!

 

---------------------------------

 

Earth, Darkstar Tower

 

Lokpihet: So how much was this evil base again?

 

Reletha: Dirt cheap. Some business wanted rid of it. A shame. They had potential

 

*She scratches the word "Enron" from the wall*

 

Lokpihet: And our illustrious creator?

 

Reletha: In the box.

 

*She taps a large sealed box*

 

Real Deac: Ummmm...please let me out?

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It sounds like somebody's confused.

 

Tarila: I'd imagine there are more than one of us confused!

 

Nom: Both of us are! It seems our creator might be as well.

 

You're correct. Let's bring in somebody else to help out.

 

(Alyssa Renolin Solo blinks into view and looks around.)

 

Everybody, meet my first character ever to appear on the wide and wonderful world we call the Internet.

 

Alyssa: A wonderful introduction, sir, but I must ask... where am I?

 

Tarila: What does it matter? You're smart, right?

 

(Alyssa nods slowly.)

 

Alyssa: What does that have to do with where I am, though? And who are you??

 

(Tarila shrugs)

 

Tarila: You'll meet my brother and I in another year or so, but for now, understand that you're not in your own universe any more.

 

Alyssa: WHAT???

 

Calm down, Alyssa. You know you're smart. I know your smart. You're here to help us make some sense out of whatever is going on.

 

(Alyssa looks around uncertainly.)

 

Alyssa: Which is what exactly?

 

(Nom laughs)

 

Nom: Nobody knows.

 

(Alyssa sighs)

 

Alyssa: This will take a while...

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Rwos: *thinks about that for a moment* Nah. *Looks up* So, it would be nice to have a bit of firepower whom I actually know the names of, y'know. I'm not in PtH.

 

Me: I don't think Jammes is either, actually...

 

*Chere, Cody, Jason, and K'Warra pop in*

 

Rwos: Uh...interesting choices.

 

Me: What? I was just writing them! They happened to be hanging out at the moment!

 

Rwos: All the same, some other Blades would be nice...

 

Chere: What, are we not good enough for Beakface here?

 

Rwos: I choose to ignore the tone of that comment.

 

Jason: Excuse me, I'd like to get back to moping---er, *cough*, grading papers. Besides, no one here knows who I am.

 

Me: Fine. *Snaps fingers. Jason vanishes*

 

K'Warra: So much for the prat. Ah well.

 

Chere: No one here knows me, either. Or Cody. Right?

 

Me: Hey, you're gonna be in PtH, so they will...

 

Chere: And K'Warra is a mind-controlled automaton in Cantina at the moment, am I wrong?

 

Me: I...er...geez! I can't win here! *Snaps fingers. Chere and Cody vanish. Glares at K'Warra*

 

K'Warra: Hey, I have no problems with you leaving me out from under mind control. Besides, you know that's getting to be a serious continuity violation, right?

 

Me: That's because Sejhan doesn't exist in your 'real' continuity. That would be copyright infringement.

 

K'Warra: No excuse.

 

Me: Shut up. *mutters something about conjuring time warps to solve the situation*

 

K'Warra: So, Rwos, looks like it's just you and me. We'd better not push it, or our not-so-illustrious creator might get her/himself kidnapped along with Deac.

 

Rwos: No chance of other Blades, then?

 

Me: Hey, they're all busy. Doing whatever they do when they're not in my head.

 

K'Warra: The imagination shudders.

 

Me: Hey, I could go grab a couple other characters to keep you company...I think Lily is obliquely flirting with Farran in the lounge again...

 

Rwos: *quickly* No, no! That'll be fine. *coughs* Just fine.

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Deac: Ummm...one question....how do we get out of here?

 

Orthos: Pffft. Not being dead for more than 24 hours you wouldn't know!

 

*Goes to the non-alcoholic beer cabinet and opens it, revealing the exit*

 

Orthos: It's all there.

 

Deac: Didn't we just drive to Earth last time.

 

*Syrnl enters. Live studio audience cheers*

 

Deac: Oh brother....

 

Syrnl: HIYO!

------------------------------

 

Enron Darkstar Towers

 

Reletha: Ahhh. They're coming here. Excellent. Then we make our demands.

 

Lokpihet: What demands?

 

Reletha: We'll think of something.

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Flax: I feel we need more punch on this mission.

 

Sophae: So you've finally stopped moping?

 

Flax: Well since you're here.... besides, BD said he'd [Censored due to secrecy] I still think we need more....

 

Sophae: BD doesn't have anymore characters!

 

Flax: But what about....

 

BD: Flax, shut it or I'll make you shorter than you already are!

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Alyssa clears her throat, alerting her creator to the fact that she wants to speak with him.

 

What is it?

 

Alyssa: Am I really needed here? After all, I don't know anyone and they don't know me.

 

Tarila: We already established the fact that my brother and I know you, though you don't yet know us. We have also established the fact that you're smart. Therefore, perhaps you may have overlooked the fact that you do seem to be needed.

 

Tarila has a point there, Alyssa.

 

(Alyssa answers crossly)

 

Alyssa: Well fine then! It's not like I had anything else I was doing... not like taking care of Cat is anything important.

 

Oh, so you want him too?

 

(Alyssa begins to protest, but a full grown tiger appears suddenly and approaches her, growling at the others.)

 

Alyssa: I told you not to!

 

And I did... oops!

 

Alyssa: Oh, shut up and take him back.

 

Nope.

 

(The tiger, meanwhile has pinned Nom to the floor and is growling menacingly at him.)

 

Nom: Ugh! I just wish you were from a few years later! You'd know me by then!

 

(The tiger growls again and Alyssa calls him off.)

 

Alyssa: No! Cat, come back now.

 

(With a final growl, the tiger returns to Alyssa's side.)

 

Alyssa: If you're not going to take him back, then maybe we should get on with this.

 

I would, but I have no idea what we're doing.

 

Tarila: Aha! It comes directly from his mouth!

 

(The tiger growls again.)

 

Alyssa: Shut up, Cat. (It obeys)

 

Nom: So does anybody really know what we're doing?

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Deac: We're going to see the boss!

 

*Deac runs through the open door and into...*

 

Cantina Offices

 

Deac: Hey wait! This place isn't real either!

 

*Notices a hastly scratched message in a table*

 

Deac: Hmmm. It's a web address...

 

*Accesses*

 

Deac: Good lord!

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