ChAiNz.2da Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Okay, I'm at work, bored & nothing scheduled to edit until 11am. So what's that mean to you? Absolutely nothing BUT, here's some things I've found to amuse myself and co-workers (we email this sort of thing all the time) I figured I'd share with my friends here at Holowan as well... These are "worksafe". Things to do when your co-worker goes on vacation: Chia 1 Chia 2 Keyboard Desk Foil Peanuts Newspaper Other Misc. Stuff Park Bench Cycle Gum "ball" (words cannot define this one - not dirty) Soccer Storm Trooper Nature's Way Group Photo And FINALLY, here's a little 2MB WMV showcasing other people's pain (which is always much more fun to laugh at), accompanied by the tune "That's Life" (adjust your volume). Click to 'stream' it, or right-click and "save target as". ENJOY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tk102 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Nice set of links... gives me ideas... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingerhs Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 best pics yet!! good stuff, although i have to wonder where you got the newspaper pic. those papers aren't exactly written in english.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaymaster Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 was wondering the same too..looks like something close to russia:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumac Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 you got them from funny junk right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by dumac you got them from funny junk right? Not sure to be honest. These were e-mailed to me from one of the ladies I work with, she in turn got them from one of our old showhosts who moved back to Australia. Though I'm sure it was from them or a similiar type site. We're always passing around stuff like this (productivity & company time at it's best ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedHawke Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 The packing peanuts in the cubicle definately give me an evil idea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth333 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Me, I use tk102's KeyTweak to invert the 0 with the o and the i with the 1 on my secretary's keyboard when she is away from her desk ...and contrary to the peanuts, you don't have to clean the mess afterwards... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Angel Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 I laughed for 2 hours after seeing the video and the pics! Ive seen things like this at Funny Junk and funnies.com but they were never this funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumac Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by Darth333 Me, I use tk102's KeyTweak to invert the 0 with the o and the i with the 1 on my secretary's keyboard when she is away from her desk ...and contrary to the peanuts, you don't have to clean the mess afterwards... you can also do that with mice in a computer lab. just plug them into another computer and watch the tempors fly. one time i got on a computer the whole keyboard was messed up there were like 20 keys out of place lol edit http://funnies.com/redjedi.htm something we should all relate too well half way at least Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingerhs Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by dumac edit http://funnies.com/redjedi.htm something we should all relate too well half way at least since i live in south carolina, it just so happens that i'm around a lot of rednecks (read: to numerous to count). so, this one relates to me even more. favorite: You Might Be a Redneck Jedi if... * If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..." that one just so happens to remind me of a bumper sticker i saw on a car the other day: Help stop inbreeding: Ban Country Music! true, so true.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted January 27, 2005 Author Share Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by stingerhs since i live in south carolina, it just so happens that i'm around a lot of rednecks (read: to numerous to count). so, this one relates to me even more. Well then "Howdy neighbor" Being a resident of Tennessee I'm just 'over yonder' from yer neck of tha' woods.... I feel your pain (ugghh)... Though i'm surprised there wasn't a "Every speeder has a blaster rifle rack mounted in the back window" on the list Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingerhs Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by ChAiNz.2da Well then "Howdy neighbor" Being a resident of Tennessee I'm just 'over yonder' from yer neck of tha' woods.... I feel your pain (ugghh)... Though i'm surprised there wasn't a "Every speeder has a blaster rifle rack mounted in the back window" on the list just be thankful that you have a job where you work with computers rather than half-drunk rednecks coming through drive-thru @ midnight. trust me, you don't want details..... + = now if there was going to be one that i would add, it would be: "Your emergency rations kit contains chewing tobbacco, a pack of smokes, and a 6-pack of beer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted January 27, 2005 Author Share Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by stingerhs just be thankful that you have a job where you work with computers rather than half-drunk rednecks coming through drive-thru @ midnight. trust me, you don't want details..... + = now if there was going to be one that i would add, it would be: "Your emergency rations kit contains chewing tobbacco, a pack of smokes, and a 6-pack of beer." :lol: It's so true, it's hilarious! Here's some pics so the "Yankees" can appreciate our troubles (worksafe) Red-Neck 1 Red-Neck 2 Red-Neck 3 Red-Neck 4 Red-Neck 5 Red-Neck 6 Red-Neck 7 and NO, I'm not related to anyone in pics #1, #5, #6 (thank goodness) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted February 3, 2005 Author Share Posted February 3, 2005 Since I'm working on a female PC mod, I thought I'd mark the occasion with some 'female' humor (graciously submitted by my work peers...women, of course ) New drugs for women: D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST. M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo can cause dangerously low IQ resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. F L I P I T O R! Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person, can we get naked now?" B U Y A G R A Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. N A G A M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revan Solo Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 I found this WERDER BREMEN soccer good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth333 Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Originally posted by ChAiNz.2da Since I'm working on a female PC mod, I thought I'd mark the occasion with some 'female' humor (graciously submitted by my work peers...women, of course ) Then I'll answer with some "male" humour, (gracioulsy brought to you by typing "new drug for men" in google.com ) DIRECTRA - A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask for directions when they got lost, compared to a control group where only 0.2 percent asked for directions. PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one. CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks--especially cleaning up spills and little accidents. COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing. BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit. Hehehe looks like this one works both ways...gives me ideas... NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members. CAPAGRA - Caused test subjects to become uncharacteristically fastidious about lowering toilet seats and replacing toothpaste caps. Subjects on higher doses were seen dusting furniture. PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into special prosecutors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted February 3, 2005 Author Share Posted February 3, 2005 Originally posted by Darth333 Then I'll answer with some "male" humour, (gracioulsy brought to you by typing "new drug for men" in google.com ) PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one. Heh...I need some of this! I wonder if it works for "modding" projects too...hmmmm... CAPAGRA - Caused test subjects to become uncharacteristically fastidious about lowering toilet seats and replacing toothpaste caps. Subjects on higher doses were seen dusting furniture. Replacing toothpaste caps?! What else am I supposed to throw at my cat .. hehe I'm not even going to touch on the great 'toilet seat debate'... All I have to say is the seat goes in 2 different directions and it's not that heavy.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted February 4, 2005 Author Share Posted February 4, 2005 Things That Hallmark® Cards Don't Say My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you I've changed my mind. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingerhs Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 chances are that if you have a Spencer's in your local mall, then you can find cards that say those kind of things. well, and then you have the vulger ones as well...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebelScum! Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 serious lolness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 Obviously we here at my workplace have nothing better to do than forward junk like this to each other... but... Yeah, I'm bored and have nothing better to do until my client shows up for his edit session ----------------------------- Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name: a = poopsie __ b = lumpy __ c = buttercup d = gadget __ e = crusty __ f = greasy g = fluffy __ h = cheeseball __ i = chim-chim j = stinky __ k = flunky __ l = bootie m = pinky __ n = zippy __ o = goober p = doofus __ q = slimy __ r = loopy s = snotty __ t = tootie __ u = dorkey v = squeezit __ w = oprah __ x = skipper y = dinky __ z = zsa-zsa Use the second letter of your last name t o determine the first half of your new last name: a = apple __ b = toilet __ c = giggle d = burger __ e = girdle __ f = barf g = lizard __ h = waffle __ i = cootie j = monkey __ k = potty __ l = liver m = banana __ n = rhino __ o = bubble p = hamster __ q = toad __ r = gizzard s = pizza __ t = gerbilvu __ u = chicken v = pickle __ w = chuckle __ x = tofu y = gorilla __ z = stinker Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name: a = head __ b = mouth __ c = face d = nose __ e = tush __ f = breath g = pants __ h = shorts __ i = lips j = honker __ k = butt __ l = brain m = tushie __ n = biscuits __ o = hiney p = chunks __ q = toes __ r = buns s = fanny __ t = sniffer __ u = sprinkles v = kisser __ w = squirt __ x = humperdinck y = brains __ z = juice Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober_Chickenshorts. William Jefferson Clinton is Bootie Liverbiscuits. And of course, I shall be known in the "Underground" as..... Tootie BubbleHiney Fear me now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth333 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 ok.... then I am Loopy Bubblelips Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanesh Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 And I am ... Zippy Appleface. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tk102 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Poopsie Gizzard-Tushie Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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