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Doom: the movie reviews...


toms

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Looks like, in the proud tradition of AvP, a crappy movie that is making tons of money. Go figure...

 

(On the TomatoMeter, it's only 1% different than that former horrible flick btw!)

 

 

What gets me is that the low expectations (?) and low standards of the average film goer will just encourage more of these kinds of crapfests to be churned out...

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edit- spoilerz below

 

 

Scientists die.

Marines come in.

Eomer's sister on Mars.

Eomer bitchy cause parents dead on Mars.

Chromosome 24 being researched.

Marines shoot demon, marine gets bit.

turns into demon halfway, but kills himself.

asian guy dies.

omg government funded operations on criminals and they become monster demonz.

Demonz shoot slimeh tongues to pick violent people to infect.

BFG shot. Lawl the Rock wants to get out. Orders kill everything.

Shoots "the kid" in the neck for disobeying. kid dies on first mission.

White guy dies toilet. BFG shot.

Eomer gets pissy. Rock gets bit. Eomer goes FPS mode , finds sister, gets "chromosome 24" injected to become SOOPAR SAIYAN.

C24 picks good people to make SOOPAR SAIYAN n bad peepz to make DEMONZZRZ. Rock and Eomer fight. BFG shot. Melee. Eomer pulls trick, kills Rock.

TEH WORLD IS SAFE!

 

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The "story" in the game Doom (not Doom2, or Doom3) is as follows... it was simply a text file included with the game and later printed up in the manual that was distributed with it:

 

The story of Doom

 

You're a marine, one of Earth's toughest, hardened in combat and trained for action. Three years ago you assaulted a superior officer for ordering his soldiers to fire upon civilians. He and his body cast were shipped to Pearl Harbor, while you were transferred to Mars, home of the Union Aerospace Corporation.

 

The UAC is a multi-planetary conglomerate with radioactive waste facilities on Mars and its two moons, Phobos and Deimos. With no action for fifty million miles, your day consisted of suckin' dust and watchin' restricted flicks in the rec room.

 

For the last four years the military, UAC's biggest supplier, has used the remote facilities on Phobos and Deimos to conduct various secret projects, including research on inter-dimensional space travel. So far they have been able to open gateways between Phobos and Deimos, throwing a few gadgets into one and watching them come out the other. Recently however, the Gateways have grown dangerously unstable. Military "volunteers" entering them have either disappeared or been stricken with a strange form of insanitybabbling vulgarities, bludgeoning anything that breathes, and finally suffering an untimely death of full-body explosion. Matching heads with torsos to send home to the folks became a full-time job. Latest military reports state that the research is suffering a small set-back, but everything is under control.

 

A few hours ago, Mars received a garbled message from Phobos. "We require immediate military support. Something fraggin' evil is coming out of the Gateways! Computer systems have gone berserk!" The rest was incoherent. Soon afterwards, Deimos simply vanished from the sky. Since then, attempts to establish contact with either moon have been unsuccessful.

 

You and your buddies, the only combat troop for fifty million miles were sent up pronto to Phobos. You were ordered to secure the perimeter of the base while the rest of the team went inside. For several hours, your radio picked up the sounds of combat: guns firing, men yelling orders, screams, bones cracking, then finally, silence. Seems your buddies are dead.

 

It's up to you

 

Things aren't looking too good. You'll never navigate off the planet on your own. Plus, all the heavy weapons have been taken by the assault team leaving you with only a pistol. If only you could get your hands around a plasma rifle or even a shotgun you could take a few down on your way out. Whatever killed your buddies deserves a couple of pellets in the forehead. Securing your helmet, you exit the landing pod. Hopefully you can find more substantial firepower somewhere within the station.

 

As you walk through the main entrance of the base, you hear animal-like growls echoing throughout the distant corridors. They know you're here. There's no turning back now.

 

IIRC, the Doom books were considered of poor quality as well...

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The reason Doom the movie was such a failure was because it had NOTHING to do with the Doom storyline. In Doom, it's a game about an invasion from hell...demons and all that. In the movie, there is no hell, no demons, or anything. It is just Resident Evil on Mars....another zombie film. According to the movie, everyone that is "bitten" by one of the "zombies" turns into a zombie, nothing more. Yes, that does include the demon-looking things from the game. The game = demons, the movie = mutated humans.

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The reason Doom the movie was such a failure was because it had NOTHING to do with the Doom storyline. In Doom, it's a game about an invasion from hell...demons and all that. In the movie, there is no hell, no demons, or anything. It is just Resident Evil on Mars....another zombie film. According to the movie, everyone that is "bitten" by one of the "zombies" turns into a zombie, nothing more. Yes, that does include the demon-looking things from the game. The game = demons, the movie = mutated humans.

 

Exactly right.

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You saw it right? :confused:
Indeed I did.

 

I saw a lot of potential in this movie, for a mindless action flick, but I guess they forgot the action.

 

The other thing that was sad was it seems that they actually THOUGHT they were smart.

 

and then trying to play off like those people were some elite group of marines? Half of them died without even firing a bullet.

 

We also had all the buildup around the BFG, and then it was fired THREE times, and we never actually see it kill ANYTHING. whoopdy-fricken-doo.

 

It wasn't just bad, it was boring.

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"DOOM the movie topped the box office receipts over the weekend - but it didn't do as well as expected. The movie, starring the Rock, pulled in just $15.4 million by Sunday night. Industry analysts were hoping for between $18 to $22 million. "

 

" (USA Today reported that 59 percent of those who bought tickets to the movie said they had played the game.) With its fan base sated, ticket sales for the film are expected to plunge next week."

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Mortal Kombat will always be the best game to movie adaptation. Speaking of which, a new one is being made (movie).

 

 

Ah, hmm. Well hopefully they learned their lesson after the horrible "Mortal Kombat Annihilation."

 

Your goal should never be to insert as many cheesy cameos of characters (most of which are just different colored ninjas anyway) into the game movie. This was a major problem with Street Fighter: The Movie. They included just about every character, making up silly stuff to try to force them into the plot somehow, and then gave them almost no screentime or ruined the characters. "Doctor Dhalsim"? Gimme a break!

 

And they gotta bring back Christopher Lambert to play Raiden. ;)

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