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Funnyest Thing said in Kotor I&II [spoilers maybe] (56K Warning)


Fear_Again

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Looking through the sound files there's some absolute gems. "All it takes is one blaster bolt to your bandoloir strap and suddenly you're Peragus, get it?" Will need to play through to these sections to take screencaps.

 

Here's one of the early Carth\Revan romance scenes. You can have a lot of fun with this. This is just one of the dialogue paths.

 

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Love the faces Revan makes. It also shows how skilled she is, being able to raise the left and right eyebrow independently. Also this bit which follows immediately afterwards.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

found three very funny parts in kotor the first is betwen canderous and jolee

 

jolee now where are you going with this i wonder

 

canderous shut up old man and don't spoil anything or ill twist that scrawny neck of yours

 

jolee it was just an idle question don't get so testy damit

 

reven force persade to a sith you will help up

 

SHARDAN what have my brains started dribbling out of my nose or something

reven that would be a inprovement

 

reven wern't you an adventure

 

jolee diddne't i say the past was my affair you don't see me prodding you with questions do

 

reven your just not used to company stop being an old coot

 

jolee

hmph i might be but a mouthy young thing like yourself shouldent get to call me an old coot

and besides you don't really want to talk about this were talking old history perhaps before you were born history bores kids proven fact

 

reven yer well old people like to talk about history proven fact

jolee ok ok don't cry about it later

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Some of my favorite quotes:

 

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope."

―HK-47

 

"Translation: He requires proof of good faith. We must make a contribution to his people that shows we are not a threat. Shall I blast him now, master?"

―HK-47

 

"There is a faction of meatbags called the Sith. They want what any rational meatbag would want - the power to assassinate anyone they choose at any time."

―HK-47

 

"Suggestion: Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?"

―HK-47

 

"And of course, they refer to meatbags as 'organics'. Unacceptable."

―HK-47 talking about the HK-50

 

"Droids tend to blend into the background, like a bench or a card table. Mockery: Droid, fetch this. Droid, translate that. Droid, clean out the trash compactor. Part of the love of my function comes when the ‘furnishings’ pull out tibanna-powered rifles and point them at the owners' heads."

―HK-47

 

"Observation: I am a droid, master, with programming. Even if I did not enjoy killing, I would have no choice. Thankfully, I enjoy it very much."

―HK-47

 

HK-47: "Retraction: Did I say that out loud? I apologize, master. While you are a meatbag, I suppose I should not call you as such."

Revan: "You just called me a meatbag again!"

HK-47: "Explanation: It's just that... you have all these squishy parts, master. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea."

— HK-47 and Revan

 

"As a meatbag would say: 'I have a bad feeling about this.'"

―HK-47

 

HK-47: "Query: Can I kill him now, master? I would like ever so much to crush his neck, just a little. It is a long-time fantasy of mine."

Revan: "Maybe later."

HK-47: "You hear that, meatbag? I will be back!"

— HK-47 and Revan

 

Jedi Exile: "I believe it's called 'pulling a Bindo."

Brianna: "Pulling...a Bindo?"

Jedi Exile: "Bad joke, bald man, long story."

 

Exile: "You still holding a grudge?"

Kex: "You still breathing?"

 

"Oh, I get it. Let's play with the old man's head, is it? He's half senile, he'll forget I said anything! Wait... what was this about...?"

―Jolee Bindo

 

Bastila: "The fact that you are so strong in the Force and have had such relatively little training could have terrible consequences. For you, and for everyone around you."

Revan: "You could warn me when I do something bad. Blink once for dark side, twice for light."

 

"I'll take the stupid one, who decided to threaten us rather than shoot us when he had the chance."

―Bao-Dur

 

"Between assassin droids, a Sith Lord who looks like he sleeps with vibroblades, and being target practice for a Republic ship, I was better off in my cell!"

―Atton Rand

 

"Just so you Jedi know, the whole cryptic routine isn't mysterious. It's just irritating. If you really can see the future, you should be at the pazaak table."

―Atton Rand

 

 

"You know the problem with the youth of today? They're young!"

―Jolee Bindo

 

"...but from now on, you can just think of me as any other non-Jedi in our little group — with a lightsaber. And Force powers."

―Jolee Bindo

 

Atris: "A physical victory is not the only victory... or the only loss."

Jedi Exile: "Nice words... but if we listened to you, we'd be hearing it in Mandalorian right now."

 

Bastila: "Don't worry, these are simple questions. Nothing too intrusive. First, what kind of background do you have?"

Revan: "I'm a Hutt in human form plotting to overthrow the Republic."

— Bastila and Revan

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  • 4 weeks later...

Don't Know if these have been added or not:

 

In Nar Shadda after meeting with the guy who claims the Ebon Hawk as his own:

Atton: Lemme shoot him in the back, no one has to know.

Handmaiden: Atton restrain yourself.

Handmaiden: Besides, a blaster would be unnecessary when a nerve strike to

his neck would incapacitate him painfully without inflicting any lasting harm.

Atton: Good point.

 

Whispering Locker: You're not gonna get me, Fishy. I'm safe behind five-no- TEN centimeters of Durasteel. No food for Fishy!

 

Atton: Well, it's a good thing that's not a trap.

Disciple: No Atton! I think it may BE a trap!

Everyone else: ...

 

Mission (referring the the reunion of HK47 and Revan):

Wow...what are the chances of that happening?

Canderous: Remember, we're talking about the Force here. At any moment, Malak could fall from the sky and I wouldn't bat an eyelash.

Mission: Good point.

 

Lashowe: Do you know how many Sith are on Korriban?

Jolee: 12, no, no, 13

Canderous: Good one old man

Jolee: Thank you, it takes a lot of work to be irreverant at my age

 

I win :king1:

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