Diego Varen Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 This a new Fic I've decided to write. It starts after Jedi Academy, where Jaden decides to take the path of the dark side. I shall post the few Chapter in a few minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Cool.I just hope it's as good as JK-DQ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niner_777 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 I'm just wondering where you find time to write all of these fics, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Cool.I just hope it's as good as JK-DQ. I doubt it. It is the best Fic not in the CEC. I think everyone here should read it. Sabretooth knows what I think of it. I'm just wondering where you find time to write all of these fics, lol. I know. Anyway here it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Sig created by Sabretooth ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter I Fallen ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jedi Master, Kyle Katarn slowly walked towards his former apprentice, Jaden Korr. Jaden had fallen to the dark side and he had become more powerful than his former master. He had also become much stronger than Luke Skywalker. Jaden used the Force to pull Marka Ragnos’ scepter to him. Kyle stopped immediately. He quickly held his arm to him, to protect himself from being killed. It didn’t stop Jaden though. Jaden felt his new weapon shoot an orange beam at Kyle. The blast of the scepter blasted Kyle backwards. Jaden then used the scepter to blast a hole in the ceiling, causing several rocks to fall onto Kyle. The rocks landed on Kyle, trapping him. Jaden then used the scepter to blast a hole in the wall to escape. The wall was broken and Jaden leapt through the hole and left to find his X-Wing. Luke walked into the room, seeing the devastation of the battle that Jaden and Kyle had just had. Kyle crawled out of the rocks. “Kyle what happened here?” Luke asked. Luke helped Kyle up. “Jaden has turned to the dark side,” Kyle told Luke, “And he has taken the scepter.” “And Rosh?” Luke asked. “Dead,” Kyle told Luke, “Jaden killed him. He felt betrayed by Rosh and the anger was too strong for him to control.” Luke held his head in shame. He felt like he could cry. Kyle felt the same. “I… misjudged him,” Luke told Kyle, “I’m sorry Kyle.” “I failed both my students Luke,” Kyle told Luke, “Maybe I shouldn’t be teaching at the Academy. It’s not like I’ve been the perfect Jedi myself.” “No Kyle,” Luke interrupted, “Yoda and Ben were both great teachers, yet even they lost students.” Luke then closed his eyes for a minute. He was thinking of Jaden. He opened his eyes. “I can still sense good in him,” Luke told Kyle, “There’s always hope Kyle. Remember that.” “You maybe right,” Kyle said, “Well at least Tavion and her cult have been stopped, Ragnos won’t be coming back. “But the scepter is too powerful.” Luke told Kyle, “We must find Jaden and destroy it.” “I’ll take care of it,” Kyle told Luke, “As my student, Jaden is my responsibility. If I find Jaden, I’ll let you know.” Kyle was walking out of the tomb, when Luke called out to him. “Be careful,” Luke told Kyle, “If there is anything I can do to help.” “I will.” Kyle interrupted. “And may the Force be with you.” Luke told Kyle. Jaden found his X-Wing and left Korriban. The Jedi Order was now in tatters and the New Republic would soon be the same. Jaden approached the Star Destroyer where he had killed his best friend, Rosh Penin. As he landed inside, he arrived on the top floor. Several Imperial officers were working in the bridge of the Star Destroyer. As the door opened, the Imperial officers turned to see Jaden. The head officer walked towards Jaden. He had an angry look on his face. “Who the hell are you?” He asked, “You can’t expect to…” Jaden stopped him, by using the Force to choke the man. He grabbed onto the collar of his neck, trying to breathe. “Please… let me go.” The man choked. “As you wish.” Jaden told the man. He pressed the button on his Lightsaber. An orange blade appeared. He pushed his Lightsaber into the man’s abdomen. The man yelled in pain. As he yelled, the man’s face turned red and his body bled to death. Jaden smiled coldly. He pulled his Lightsaber out of the man and let the man collapse. “If anyone else wants to end up like his man here, you can try to kill me now. Go on!” Jaden shouted at the other officers. None of the other officers said a word. They didn’t even breathe. “Good,” Jaden told them, “Now set a course for Dxun. There is something I must do.” Kyle set his ship, the Raven’s Claw for autopilot to Coruscant. He put his hand on his face. He felt as if nobody could ever look at him again. He had failed. He had failed Rosh. He had failed the Academy. But most of all. Most of all he had failed Jaden. How could he not know that Jaden could fall to the dark side so easily? Had Kyle’s teachings failed Jaden? Had the fact that Rosh had once felt the dark side, made Jaden also feel the dark side? There was no answer to any of those questions. They would be answered soon enough. The Star Destroyer came out of hyperspace. While the officers set their coordinates for Dxun, Jaden hung his head. He was thinking about the previous events that had happened. To Jaden, it had all flown by. One minute he had killed his best friend and then the next, he was on a Star Destroyer on its way to Dxun. Maybe Jaden was never meant to be a Jedi. Maybe he should never had built his first Lightsaber on Coruscant and travel to Yavin IV. His mind was questioning itself all the time. Jaden knew he couldn’t undo all the damage now. He decided to swear his allegiance to the dark side. He had fallen. Now his goals in life were to destroy the Jedi and the New Republic. An officer walked towards Jaden. “Sir we are approaching Dxun.” He told Jaden. “Excellent officer,” Jaden muttered, “But I want you to address me as my lord. Do you understand?” “Yes… my lord.” He told Jaden. “Excellent,” Jaden told the officer, “You are dismissed.” “Thank you.” The officer said. Dxun was in site. “Prepare a shuttle to take me down to Dxun, officer.” Jaden told the officer. “As you wish my lord.” The officer said finally. Kyle landed on Coruscant. He got out and saw his former partner and lover, Jan Ors run out towards him. She greeted Kyle with wide-open arms. Kyle received the hug and they kissed each other on the cheek. “What are you doing here?” Jan asked. “I have bad news Jan,” Kyle told Jan, “Jaden has fallen to the dark side.” “What?” Jan asked, “Why?” “That’s what I’m asking myself all the time.” Kyle told Jan. He thought it was best not to tell Jan about how he fell. Kyle walked back to the Raven’s Claw and waved to Jan. He was about to take off, when Jan stopped him. “I want to come with you.” She told Kyle. “I can’t let you come.” Kyle told her, remembering the time when he believed she had been killed. “I know you’re trying to look after me, but tough, I’m coming,” Jan told Kyle, getting into the Raven’s Claw, “I’m here to help you, protect you.” “I suppose there’s no way to change your mind,” Kyle said finally, sighing out loud, “Okay then.” Kyle and Jan strapped themselves in and then left Coruscant. “Where do you think Jaden will be?” Jan asked. “I don’t know,” Kyle told Jan, “But we’ll find him. Whether I have to go to the end of the Galaxy or not.” Jaden landed the shuttle on Dxun’s surface. He had landed, right next to the tomb. He tried to open the tomb. It was locked. Suddenly, a spirit arrived in front of Jaden. “Why do you disturb me?” The spirit asked, groaning. “I command you to open this tomb, spirit, otherwise I shall make your living death a lot worse.” Jaden told the spirit. “I am no spirit!” The spirit shouted, “I am the Force ghost of the legendary Sith Lord, Freedon Nadd. I’m sure you have heard of me?” “I don’t think so, spirit,” Jaden told him, “Now let me in!” “Never!” Nadd shouted, “Only if you can become a true Sith, you can access my power.” “Fine.” Jaden sighed, “I’ll be back.” He walked off, back to his shuttle. Stay tuned for Chapter II Dreams or Visions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niner_777 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Me like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Me like. Thanks Niner_777. When will you post the next Chapter of Amongst The Ruins? That is one of my favourite levels on Battlefront II. It might be because it it easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niner_777 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 He, he. I'm working on it right now. *logs out and starts writing next chapter* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 good job, Pottsie. glad youre not...well...forget that. just one thing, if Jaden really fell, then his ego would have controoled him. how many people below vader have called him "anakin" or "vader" just like that? just an FYI. itd be better if you changed what jaden said to "call me my lord" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 good job, Pottsie. glad youre not...well...forget that. just one thing, if Jaden really fell, then his ego would have controoled him. how many people below vader have called him "anakin" or "vader" just like that? just an FYI. itd be better if you changed what jaden said to "call me my lord" Will do RC. Thanks for the advice. And yeah, we'll forget about that thing. Nobody ask about it. Anyway, I'll check out your next Chapter of Galactic Conquest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 A bit shorter than my first Chapter, but still good. Kyle and Jan won't be back in it until Chapter IV. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter II Dreams or Visions? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Returning to the Star Destroyer, which Jaden now named the Echo, he assumed the captain’s dormitory as his own. He entered his new dormitory. It was quite large. It had several lockers, a large round table and a bed. He took off his tattered old Jedi robes that he wore and put them in one of the lockers. He got into bed and drifted off to sleep. Jaden felt himself drift over a cold, icy Planet. Was it Hoth? Mygeeto? Or was it the polar regions of Telos? To Jaden, those icy Planets looked the same. He felt himself drift onto a high mountain. He felt himself drop onto the hard, cold floor. Ouch! He thought. He got up. The snowstorm blinded his sight. Suddenly, the snowstorm stopped around Jaden. He looked up to see an old woman next to him. She was a Force ghost, like Freedon Nadd was. She wore an old, black Jedi robe, which hid her face. “What are you doing here?” She asked. “How the hell am I supposed to know?” Jaden asked angrily. “You must be cold, with only your underwear on.” The old woman told Jaden. “Well I am dreaming aren’t I, you old bat!” Jaden shouted at her, “What do you want anyway?” “That is why I have brought you here,” The old woman told Jaden, “You have fallen to the dark side, as I had once. If you choose to follow that path, then I can help you.” “Look I don’t take advice from some broken old woman.” Jaden told the old woman angrily. “My name is Kreia, I am over four thousand years old.” She told Jaden. “This gets even better,” Jaden told her, his anger rising, “I especially don’t need help from a four thousand year old woman.” “I believe you shall become a Sith,” Kreia told Jaden, “But first, I can only set you off on the journey you are about to face. You will need a new identity, new robes and an apprentice.” Jaden noticed her, pick up some black robes. She gave them to Jaden, who snatched them off her. “This robe once belonged to the dark lord, Revan, who was once my apprentice,” Kreia told Jaden. Jaden put on his new robe. It felt really smooth and comfortable, considering it was over four thousand years old. Kreia then picked up an old, dusty Vibroblade. “Kneel.” She told Jaden. “This better be worth my time you old bat!” Jaden shouted. “Kneel!” Kreia shouted. Jaden kneeled on the ground. Kreia then placed the Vibroblade onto Jaden’s right shoulder. “You shall be now known as Darth Malus.” She told Jaden, placing the Vibroblade on Jaden’s other shoulder. “Thank you… old woman,” Malus muttered, “Now send me back.” “As you wish.” Kreia told Malus. She shot a large bolt of lightning out of her hands at Malus. Malus felt himself leave the Planet. Malus felt himself wake up in his bed. He noticed that it was the next day. He was wearing his new robe. He got up and walked over to his locker. He took out his Lightsaber and placed it in his belt. The door opened and the officer walked in. “Are you alright my lord?” He asked. “I have a new name officer,” Malus told the officer, “Soon I shall be known as Darth Malus across the Galaxy. You shall still call me my lord or Malus. Your choice.” “As you wish my lord,” The officer said, “By the way my name is Officer Starkiller.” “I don’t care what your name is, just get back to work!” Malus told Officer Starkiller, “I want to return to Korriban. There is something I must do there.” “As you wish my lord.” Officer Starkiller told Malus. He walked out, while Jaden sat down to meditate on the cold floor. Stay tuned for Chapter III The Sith Tomb PS: Malus is Latin for evil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Good,good.Fall even deeper onto the Dark Side!Now really,good.Altough a bit short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 i like, surprising to see Kreia though lol, but good all the same .. now what fic is this one hmmm? lol, 11th? 12th? haha (Perhaps there was an exxageration on that last part) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 26, 2006 Author Share Posted May 26, 2006 i like, surprising to see Kreia though lol, but good all the same .. now what fic is this one hmmm? lol, 11th? 12th? haha (Perhaps there was an exxageration on that last part) I don't know . Anyway, I don't care about how many bad Fics I have wrote. Kreia won't be a main Character in my Fic, she will just be in this Chapter and the next. I mean in Sabretooth's, Exar Kun was Jaden's guide. Anyway, thanks for reading. I'll check out The Second Coming Of Evil, next time you update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 26, 2006 Author Share Posted May 26, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter III The Sith Tomb ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Malus took his shuttle to the surface of Korriban. The last time he was here, he was fighting his ex master, Kyle. Now that he was dead, the only Jedi left was Luke. Officer Starkiller came out of Malus’ shuttle and walked up to him. “Is everything alright my lord?” He asked. “It… it is of no concern,” Malus told him, “I must go to Ludo Kresh’s tomb. I have been told to go.” “Right away my lord,” Officer Starkiller told Malus, “I’ll be waiting on the shuttle, waiting for your return.” Malus walked off, pulling his hood up, which covered his face. He entered the old Shyrack caves. It had a strong stench of death. Malus got out his orange Lightsaber and cut through several rocks. After clearing through, he eventually found Ludo Kresh’s tomb. Malus opened the large tomb door easily. At least I can enter this tomb, He thought angrily. As soon as he entered the tomb, the door shut behind him. Malus felt cold. Then again, the power of the dark side was cold. Only some people could control its power. Like Malus. Malus continued to walk down the thin corridor, until he entered a large room. Luke stood there. “Jaden, I hate to admit it, but you’ve truly fallen.” Luke told him. “I’m no longer Jaden!” Malus shouted, “I’m Darth Malus! Lord of the Sith!” Luke reached for his Lightsaber. A green blade came out. “So be it.” Luke said. Malus ran towards Luke and fought him. Luke was strong, but Malus was even stronger. Especially with the power of the dark side. Their Lightsabers clashed together, causing orange and green sparks bouncing off their blades. Malus’ anger raised, causing him to push Luke backwards angrily. Malus tried to stab Luke, but he rolled over to the side. Malus put his Lightsaber and away and let Luke run towards him. As soon as Luke was close enough, Malus shot a large bolt of lightning at Luke. Luke fell the ground, shouting out in pain. Malus continued to hurt him and his power increased as Luke shouted. Eventually Luke stopped shouting. He should have died, but instead he disappeared. As soon as he disappeared, Malus heard several people running behind him. They were New Republic Troopers. Their Blaster Rifles were raised at Malus. “What happened to Master Skywalker?” One of them asked. “You’ll find out soon enough.” Malus told the Trooper. He gripped the Trooper. He tried to loosen his collar to breathe, but he was killed. The other Troopers walked backwards. Fear. Malus didn’t care for cowards. They had to die. The Troopers tried to run off, but Malus shot a large bolt of lightning at them. Like Luke they disappeared. What was this tomb? Malus thought angrily, There was something strange about it. Nobody died in this tomb. A shame, he thought. It was time to leave, until he heard a voice behind. “You’re not going anywhere.” A voice groaned. “And what makes you think you can stop me?” Malus asked. “Because I was once your best friend.” The voice groaned. Rosh? Rosh Penin? Now this was strange. Malus turned round. “I killed you once Rosh,” Malus told Rosh, “I can kill you again.” Malus leapt up high in the air and landed behind Rosh. Rosh immediately looked behind him, but Jaden stabbed him. “You were just as weak as before!” Malus shouted at Rosh. He took his Lightsaber out of Rosh and they continued to stare at each other. Rosh groaned out loud as he disappeared. It was over. Malus prepared to leave. Hopefully forever. “How was the test?” Kreia’s voice echoed in Malus’ head. “Test?” Malus asked, his voice rising, “Test! What are doing in my head?” “I can enter your thoughts whenever I please.” Kreia told Malus. “Don’t bother in the future old woman!” Malus shouted. Kreia didn’t reply. That showed her, Malus thought. He left the tomb. As soon as Malus came out of the cave, Officer Starkiller ran up to him. “Are you alright my lord?” He asked. “That tomb has changed me Officer,” Malus told him, “But no matter, we should leave.” “Where to?” Officer Starkiller asked. “I’ll think about it.” Malus told him. Malus walked into his shuttle, with Officer Starkiller following him. Several hours later, Malus was meditating in his dormitory. He was thinking about everything that had happened. His power was increasing and soon he would rule the Galaxy. The door opened. “What do you want Officer?” He asked. “I’m not your Officer,” A man said, “I’m here for a very important reason.” Malus got up and turned to see a Kel Dor. “Who are you?” Malus asked. “My name is Darth Caos.” He told Malus, “I swear my allegiance to you.” Caos bent on his knee, bowing to Malus. Malus felt great. Now he was being followed. “Excellent,” Malus said finally, “You shall be my first apprentice. Darth Caos.” Caos got up off the floor. Stay tuned for Chapter IV The search for Jaden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 Hmm,Kel Dor.You took that idea from me.Just kidding,and it's good,they are just shorter than usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 another nice chapter .. i like how theyre are not small chapters, but not long ones either ... it can get annoying how there can be the extremely 15 minute chapters to read lol, keep the good work up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niner_777 Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 I just finished reading chapters two and three. I'm not much of a critic, but I can tell you that they were good. However, it seemed like everything happened really fast. I don't know if you meant it to be like that or not. Btw, I just posted chapter three of Amongst the Ruins. I know this is Pottsie's fic, but check it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 26, 2006 Author Share Posted May 26, 2006 Niner_777: Sorry about that thing happening so fast. I've checked out Amongst the Ruins and like you, I also tell people to check out my Fics. Jason Skywalker: Yeah I did. I couldn't decide between a Kel Dor or a Twi'lek. So I chose Kel Dor. Mr_BFA: I have to agree with you about length of some Chapters. Some seem to take forever to read. What does BFA stand for anyway? Thanks for all your comments, Chapter IV coming soon. Hopefully a lot longer as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 I have to agree with Niner. It was a little fast. I suggest slowly down and somehow organize a more gentler means of transition from one plot to the next. It's easier on the mind. It's looking good though and I hope you are able to finish this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 26, 2006 Author Share Posted May 26, 2006 I hope you are able to finish this one I agree with that. Chapter IV I'm currently writing and will include a cameo from a certain Star Wars Original Trilogy Character that hasn't been in either Jedi Outcast or Jedi Academy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niner_777 Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 Sorry about that thing happening so fast. No problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 It's Vader,isn't it?No,wait,The Emperor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 27, 2006 Author Share Posted May 27, 2006 It's Vader,isn't it?No,wait,The Emperor! No. It is someone who was played by: Harrison Ford Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted May 27, 2006 Author Share Posted May 27, 2006 While you are waiting for Chapter IV, here are the bios of the Characters you've seen so far. I may post bios. Name: Darth Malus (Jaden Korr) Species: Human Eye Colour: Blue Hair Colour: Brown Class: Sith Lord Favourite Weapon(s): Lightsaber Lightsaber Colour(s): Orange then Red Favourite Ship(s): The Raven’s Claw/The Echo/X-Wing/Tie Fighter Favourite Force Power(s): Battle Meditation/Force Lightning/Force Grip Master(s): Kyle Katarn Apprentice(s): Darth Caos Homeworld: Coruscant Political Affiliation: Sith/Imperial Remnant Allies: Sith/Imperial Remnant Enemies: New Republic/Jedi Order Name: Kyle Katarn Species: Human Eye Colour: Brown Hair Colour: Brown with slight shades of grey Class: Jedi Guardian Favourite Weapon(s): Lightsaber Lightsaber Colour(s): Blue Favourite Ship(s): The Raven’s Claw Favourite Force Power(s): Force Protect Master(s): Luke Skywalker Apprentice(s): Jaden Korr/Rosh Penin Homeworld: Sulon Political Affiliation: Jedi Order Allies: New Republic/Jedi Order Enemies: Imperial Remnant/Sith Name: Jan Ors Species: Human Eye Colour: Brown Hair Colour: Brown Class: Scout Favourite Weapon(s): E-11 Blaster Rifle Favourite Ship(s): The Raven’s Claw Homeworld: Alderaan Political Affiliation: New Republic Allies: New Republic/Jedi Order Enemies: Imperial Remnant/Sith Name: Darth Caos Species: Kel Dor Eye Colour: Black Hair Colour: None Class: Sith Marauder Favourite Weapon(s): Dual Lightsabers Lightsaber Colour(s): Red Favourite Ship(s): The Echo Favourite Force Power(s): Force Rage Master(s): Darth Malus Apprentice(s): None Homeworld: Kril’dor Political Affiliation: Sith/Imperial Remnant Allies: Sith/Imperial Remnant Enemies: New Republic/Jedi Order Name: Officer Starkiller Species: Human Eye Colour: Hazel Hair Colour: Grey Class: Officer Favourite Weapon(s): Imperial Heavy Repeater Favourite Ship(s): The Echo Homeworld: Tatooine Political Affiliation: Imperial Remnant Allies: Imperial Remnant/Sith Enemies: New Republic/Jedi Order Name: Luke Skywalker Species: Human Eye Colour: Blue Hair Colour: Blonde Class: Jedi Master Favourite Weapon(s): Lightsaber Lightsaber Colour(s): Green Favourite Ship(s): X-Wing Favourite Force Power(s): Force Heal Master(s): Ben “Obi-Wan” Kenobi/Yoda Apprentice(s): Many Students including Kyle Katarn Homeworld: Born on Polis Massa/Raised on Tatooine Political Affiliation: Jedi Order Allies: New Republic/Jedi Order Enemies: Imperial Remnant/Sith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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