[Fic] Star Wars: Assassination Protocols

[igyman]

meatbagized

 

Great stuff RC!

[RC-1162]

thanks, guys. i tried really hard to make HK funny in that bit . glad to see i havent let you down .

[Jason Skywalker]

Really cool chapter RC. That's pretty nasty at first, HK being meatbagized and no longer using Statement and Query, etc. I'm sure that will be good in the next chapters.

[JediMaster12]

I liked what happened to HK though I think it would have been much funnier if you left in the programming that indicates the type of statement. That's what makes it comical. HK being meatbagized

My version: Expletive: Dammit! I have been meatbagized!

[RC-1162]

or it may have started with "Distress:"

thanks guys, next chapter will have a famous person from RotJ.

[Diego Varen]

thanks guys, next chapter will have a famous person from RotJ.

 

Is it Luke?

[RC-1162]

ah, well. the guy dies halfway through RotJ .

the person to come in my fic, that is. and he's not a human.

[Diego Varen]

ah, well. the guy dies halfway through RotJ .

the person to come in my fic, that is. and he's not a human.

 

It must be a Droid then. R2-D2. And RC, you are joking about Luke's death aren't you?

[RC-1162]

i was talking about the character's death, not luke's. i said that the person who is going to come in the next chapter will have died halfway through RotJ. i think we'd better lay off the guessing now, or a mod might swoop down on us.

[igyman]

He wasn't talking about Luke. He was talking about the character that will appear in the fic, personally I think it's Yoda.

[Jae Onasi]

“Oh no!” HK said, distressed. “I’ve been meatbagized!”

 

That was too funny.

 

I had a little bit of a tough time believing that the mercs 'forgot' about Xan when he was right in front of him, but that was the only thing that jumped out at me.

 

I thought the lines were funny and HK discovering he has feelings is an interesting twist.

[RC-1162]

Thanks, Jae

The mercs didnt actually 'forget' that Xan was in the way, they just panicked and pulled the trigger. i mean, if you had a galaxy-wide famous assassin droid in front of you and you dont know it's intentions, anyone would do the same. poor Xan though.

[RC-1162]

HK chided himself mentally for becoming so soft, but he couldn’t help it. He had never seen any ship as stunning as this other than the Ebon Hawk, which barely paralleled the beauty of the ship before him.

 

“My ship,” said Eric, more to show-off than anything else, because it was quite obvious that it was his. “The Scorcher. It’s a YT-2000 Corellian freighter.”

 

“I have never trained my photoreceptors on a ship for this much time before,” said HK with a tone of awe. “Is the interior as good?”

 

“Why don’t you find out?” said Eric with a grin, indicating the lowered ramp.

 

They made their way into the ship and Eric showed HK about the ship. As they entered the ramp, in front of HK was a closed door, and similarly, to his right and left there was a door each. All three were cramped tight. Eric opened the side doors and identified it to HK as the bunks. He shut them and opened the door right in front to reveal a ladder heading up into the ship. Eric went up without trouble. HK looked at the ladder for some time, wondering whether his body frame would allow for climbing structures.

 

He shrugged in a semi-robotic manner and closed his fingers around a rung. He brought his right foot up, and started climbing. HK had never done anything like that before and was significantly pleased when he reached the main deck. He stepped off the ladder and followed Eric to two huge compartments which were the ship’s cargo bays, both of which contained an airlock. To the right of the ladder, Eric introduced the lounge, the engine monitor and a pair of extra bunks.

 

Eric then led HK down the hall to the escape pod room, and further down to the cockpit. Everything was state-of-the-art and was no doubt very difficult to manage alone, unless one had incredible engineering skills. Eric apparently had, because HK spotted several non-YT components in the cockpit panels, indicating that Eric had carried out many modifications.

 

HK was led back to the central ladder and they climbed upward on last time to the upper deck. This was mostly a backup storage and construction and repair area. HK spotted a small R2 astromech droid in the repair room, no doubt to help Eric out in modifying the ship. Eric didn’t consider it much of a friend, though, because it was kept on standby. HK caught sight of a droid recharge station and a workbench in the same room and heaved a silent, droid-sigh of relief.

 

All this was not done in silence of course. HK constantly remarked on the beauty of the ship and the elegance of several rooms, especially the cockpit. He accessed his system diagnostics and they indicated that Xan, his rebuilder, had put in just enough power into the droid to keep him going for a few hours. His energy supply was running low.

 

“If you don’t mind, Eric,” began HK, laying down his blasters on the workbench. “Id like to spend some time recharging.”

 

“Okay,” said Eric. “You can stay for the duration of the trip if you want.”

 

“One more thing,” said HK. “Where are we going?”

 

“Tatooine. I have a shipment to deliver to Jabba the Hutt.”

************************************************************************

HK had not forgotten how horrid the planet could be. That was the only downside of his well-protected memory core. It remembered too many details. As he stepped out from the cool, climate controlled air of the Scorcher into the arid atmosphere of the desert covered Tatooine, Eric’s ship’s name took on a whole new meaning. The temperature of his chassis sky-rocketed within minutes and sand was already starting to get into his foot servomotors.

 

“Eric,” he began. “Couldn’t you have docked directly in this Jabba’s hangars?”

 

“The mud-worm doesn’t have a hangar fit for anything other than ground vehicles,” said Eric simply as they trudged through the small settlement of Mos Eisley.

 

*I really do like him now,* thought HK as he followed Eric into a speeder rental shop.

 

“Well,” began HK when Eric asked him what he thought of his selection. “At least you chose a closed-top speeder.”

 

The smuggler chuckled and they got into their rented speeder. Eric worked the controls like a pro and they shot out into the desert.

************************************************************************

<I had asked for 20 kilos, not 15!> whined Jabba the Hutt. HK had a very strong desire to shove his blaster down the fat slug’s throat and empty the power pack into the Hutt’s guts, but he held himself in check. There were many meatbags flanking the fat crime lord and it would become a problem if their boss was eliminated.

 

But HK could deal with that. He was thinking about his new blaster rifle. The one he’d constructed from scratch aboard the Scorcher. HK would not like to get any of the Hutt’s slime on that piece of delicate machinery. No, the rifle deserved much more. He held himself in check only out of caring for his blaster. And partly also for his new friend.

 

“You have a problem with that, you can talk to Garda,” said Eric, standing his ground bravely. “He has a far worse temper than you and I’d much rather keep him happy than you.”

 

<We had a deal and you broke it!> bellowed the Hutt in his native tongue. Jabba never did care about speaking anything else to his bounty hunters.

 

“No, Garda broke it. You should have contacted him and told him to give me 20 kilos of spice rather than 15,” said Eric calmly. “I thought you had that much common sense.”

 

<You should have told him that I sent you.>

 

“What? You think I’ve got your brain? That was the first thing I said to him. He’s not very afraid of you, I can say.”

 

The Hutt slumped in resignation, although it looked like he was compressing himself vertically and bloated out his sides much more.

 

<Very well. But I’ll pay you only 90% of the agreed sum.> said Jabba. Eric opened his mouth to protest, but Jabba cut him off.

 

<But, if you can deliver a few crates of contraband and explosives to Troka the Hutt on Onderon, then I’ll pay you fifteen thousand credits plus the 10% I cut you off.>

 

Eric appeared to think about it, then nodded.

 

“Fine, but if your friend cuts on his deal like you did, I’ll bring both of you to your senses the hard way.”

 

Eric apparently wasn’t afraid of Jabba like the others were. Jabba just laughed and waved.

 

<I’ll order my men to begin loading up your speeder.>

 

Eric nodded, then turned and walked off. HK followed him, but stopped short at the doorway to listen to what Jabba was now saying to his aide, Bib Fortuna.

 

<Load his speeder, all right,> said Jabba, only now he was speaking Ubese instead of Huttese. HK’s databanks allowed him to understand, though.

 

<But tell the troops in the hangar to blast the little runt. We’ll give the assignment to Boba instead,> indicating the Mandalorian mercenary, Boba Fett, who stood off to one side, talking to another bounty hunter.

 

<What about the droid?> Fortuna replied in an accented Ubese.

 

<Wipe its memory. We can use it for our own purposes.>

 

Fortuna nodded and took out a comlink to convey his boss’ orders. HK walked out of the room inconsequentially, but inside, his logic circuits worked furiously. He didn’t want Eric to be killed. No, he had become too much of HK’s friend to allow that to happen. And anyway, he couldn’t end up being ordered around by a slug like that! It was demeaning. As soon as HK was out of earshot and sight of everyone in Jabba’s throne room, HK broke into a gear-whirring metallic run to catch up with Eric. He caught sight of the man near the turbolift, waiting casually for HK to arrive.

 

“Where were you?” Eric asked as they got into the lift and he called up the hangar levels.

 

“No time to explain right now,” replied HK as he took his blaster rifle off safety. “Warm up your blaster and stay ready.”

 

One didn’t ignore warnings and stand around asking stupid questions if one was an experienced smuggler. Eric nodded and raised his blaster to a ready position, also removing the safety. While he clearly looked bewildered, he was totally alert when the turbolift doors hissed open and the shooting began.

[Diego Varen]

HK climbing ladders eh? That's a new one. Another good Chapter and I liked the descriptions too.

[igyman]

So Jabba was the RoTJ character you were talking about. Nice work.

[Jason Skywalker]

Nice one. OMG, HK is feeling! You're really making this good. Also, what timeline is this? How much ABY?

[Diego Varen]

Nice one. OMG, HK is feeling! You're really making this good. Also, what timeline is this? How much ABY?

 

Read the first post. It was 2.5 years ABY. Which means that this is set before TESB. Am I right RC? Halfway in between ANH and TESB, because TESB is five years after ANH.

[JediMaster12]

Nice Chapter. I am still getting used to the fact that HK doesn't do his Statement: ... thingy. That's what made him funny. Still his entanglement with Jabba the Hutt should be very interesting. By the way, Jabba speaks Huttese.

[RC-1162]

i know, but he does know a couple other languages, including Basic. he spoke in ubese so that if Eric was listnening on, he wouldnt understand what was up.

thanks for the replys guys!

[JediMaster12]

Oh I see. Well I look forward to another round of HK and meatbags. BTW I have some new chapters up too.

[RC-1162]

Stealth on Onderon was basically just hiding your face. Nobody bothered searching up the ship registries as Iziz had such a huge spaceport. HK-47 and Eric had snuck out of their ship after landing around midnight local time. So far, they had met with no problems. The locals were too busy with their own problems to give attention to a smuggler wrapped in a cloak and an unknown-configuration droid trudging along behind him at a safe distance. HK did get the occasionally glances, however, but the eyes watching him quickly went back to what they were doing.

 

Eric came up to the wall of Troka the Hutt’s building and leaned against it, waiting for HK. Once the latter showed up, Eric started on the topic of how to get in.

 

“You mean you didn’t have a plan?” said HK incredulously. “What were you doing on the ship?”

 

“Sleeping,” said Eric in a matter-of-fact tone. “Try using your scanners to locate a secret exit.”

 

“Secret exit?” mirrored HK. “What makes you think there’s a secret exit?”

 

“The owner of this building is a Hutt and the local government is not all that bad,” replied Eric.

 

“Ah,” said HK, understanding fully now and deploying his scanners. “I get it.”

 

The droid scanned the full face of the wall which he was facing right then, after which, he started moving along the wall, scanner working diligently.

 

“Yes, there it is,” he said after a few minutes at it and pointed at a blank section of wall that looked exactly the same as those around it.

 

“You got it?” asked Eric as he moved closer to examine the wall.

 

“No, I just spotted a womp rat,” said HK, his vocal tone thick with electronic sarcasm.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Where’s the door? I cant even spot the crease.”

 

HK came up to Eric and pointed his blaster rifle at the ground.

 

“The door is down there, not in the wall.”

 

“Can you get it open?” Eric asked.

 

“No, I cant. Maybe we should go back to the ship,” HK said, already moving up to the wall

 

Eric rolled his eyes as HK brought out a compact fusioncutter from a pouch he had slung across his torso and began to slice a subtle square into the wall face. Upon removing the plate, he was greeted by a mess of wires. HK was not deterred by the colourful display and proceeded to snip a few wires and reconnect them in different ways. Suddenly, the ground under them lurched and they dropped like stones.

 

For the first 100 meters, the platform seemed a fixed distance under them as they dropped into the ever-expanding chasm. Eventually, though, it slowed down a notch at a time and Eric and HK were able to put their feet on the dropping floor. Suddenly, it stopped as if it had hit a phirk wall and Eric felt his body telescope.

 

“I will blast that meatbag Hutt if any of my circuits are damaged,” mumbled HK as he tried to pick himself up. He did so with the help of his advanced programming and his new and supple joints.

 

“I’m gonna blast him anyway,” commented Eric cheerily as they stepped through into the dull basement. Or at least that was what Eric thought it was. He spotted a huge turbolift inside the room and went up to it. Thankfully, this one didn’t drop like a stone but rose, just quick enough.

 

“The Hutt sure likes turbolifts,” he commented as the turbolift slid up the shaft and stopped at the base floor. The pair of them got out into what looked like a lobby, as there was a Gran receptionist at a well worn desk seated beside a big door. Apparently he had been working a lot, for his attitude was edgy.

 

“What do you want?” he demanded.

 

“To see Troka the Hutt,” replied Eric. “I have a shipment for him.”

 

He indicated the parcel he was carrying.

 

“He’s busy right now. Come back later,” said the Gran in an irritated tone. That was all HK would take, however. He brought up his blaster, took the safety off and set it from ‘stun’ to ‘kill’.

 

“You have a choice, meatbag,” HK said, pointing his blaster at the Gran. “Either you open the door and remain in one piece, or we blast you and pass through the door anyway.”

 

All the three eyes of the Gran widened and he touched a button on his desk in alarm. Eric suspected that he was calling the guards, but instead, the big doors to the side of the Gran’s desk began to work its way open. As soon as it was wide enough, Eric walked into Troka the Hutt’s throne room, followed closely by HK.

 

<Ah, Eric Richard,> said the Hutt in greeting. <Why do you never check in at the front doors?>

 

“Didn’t feel like it,” said Eric with a shrug. He placed the parcel at the base of the Hutt’s repulsor-couch.

 

“Top grade plastic explosive, as promised,” said Eric. “Jabba promised me fifteen thousand credits.”

 

Troka called forward one of his guards and ordered him to check the parcel. For some reason, HK stiffened and his photoreceptors were trained on the parcel. The guard, a Gammorean, was not very bright and it took him four tries to get the corner of the parcel off. He pinched some of the explosive between his fingers and held it out to the Hutt. Troka was seemingly satisfied and told his aide to bring the payment.

 

<It’s a pity, though,> began the Hutt. <I’ll have to take the fifteen thousand back as soon as I hand it to you.>

 

“Keep dreaming, fatso,” said Eric lazily. The Hutt made his men bring their guns to bear with a sweeping motion of his thick arm.

 

<This is your payback for the insult, Richard,> said the Hutt, but Eric wasn’t deterred.

 

“Just one thing, though,” he said, as Troka’s aide came up to him and handed him a bag containing fifteen thousand credits. Eric pocketed it and continued talking.

 

“Can I know why you want to kill me?” he asked? “Is it because I insult you so much? Or is it because I steal all your ladies away?”

 

<Neither,> replied the Hutt. <I only really care about my business, and youre becoming too ‘loud’ with your deliveries.>

 

“Loud?” repeated Eric. “What's that supposed to mean?”

 

<It means you aren’t careful enough with your deliveries,> said Troka. <You somehow manage to tip off the cops and they swoop down here and take my money away. Because of you, Jabba and I lost two million credits in spice the last time.>

 

“Well,” said Eric. “It’s not my fault that you forgot to bribe the port officials.”

 

<Let’s assume it’s your fault, then,> said Troka. <Any last words?>

 

This time, HK kicked in.

 

“Yes, meatbag,” he began before Eric could reply. “Get a breath freshener. My olfactory circuits are going to overheat.”

 

The Hutt roared in anger and Eric and HK brought their blasters up to a ready position.

 

<KILL THEM!> the Hutt bellowed, and obediently, his guards started shooting streams of laserfire at Eric and his droid companion.

 

HK was proving to Eric more why he was the Galaxy’s most feared assassination droid. HK extended his arm and began firing the blaster single handedly. A normal person would miss an average of 4 shots out of 5 because of the natural recoil, but HK’s firm metallic fingers held the blaster in place and fired with incredible accuracy. He dropped four guards with four shots, the ones that were in front of the door. Without them, an escape route for them was cleared.

 

“Come on!” shouted Eric over the din of battle. He motioned at the door and broke into a run, blasting anybody that got in his path. HK dropped two more guards and ran behind Eric, with the remaining guards in steaming pursuit. Eric and HK ran into the emergency turbolift and slapped the basement button and they began to drop back to the secret exit. The moment they got out of the turbolift however, they were greeted by a pair of Gammorreans with vast waraxes. One took a swing at Eric, but the latter ducked and sent a stream of blaster fire into the Gammorrean’s abdomen. The fat creature dropped dead in a few seconds.

 

However, HK wasn’t as lucky as Eric. The Gammorrean’s axe caught HK’s left forearm and severed two wires, effectively dropping the arm dead.

 

“Damn you, meatbag,” said HK, bothered more about his arm than the looming pig-creature before him. HK’s right forearm panel slid open and he let loose a flamethrouwer volley. They could hear the painful shrieks and grunts of the Gammorrean as they made their way to the exit lift. As soon as they were on it, however, they realized it had no button to activate it. They tried speaking to it, looking around for wires and various other things. Finally, Eric jumped on the floor, hard, in frustration; and telescoped again as the exit lift zoomed up.

 

“It appears that the lift is activated by the Hutt’s body weight,” said HK. “Upon observation, I would assume his minimum weight was at least a hundred and five kilograms, which would require a force of one thousand and twenty-nine newtons on the floor.

 

Eric whistled.

 

“I put that much force on the floor?” he asked.

 

“With the help of the force my body was already exerting, Eric,” said HK.

 

The turbolift stopped and they wasted no time in making a beeline for the spaceport. Just as they reached the entrance, though, Eric stopped and looked back.

 

“Aww, man!” he moaned. “I forgot to blast the Hutt!”

 

“Don’t worry, Eric,” said HK. “I’ve got something better.”

 

He took a small remote out of his pouch and handed it to Eric. The latter spotted only one button on the device and pushed it without thinking. In the distance, where there was once Troka the Hutt’s palace, was now a raging fireball as the building blew up.

 

“No kidding,” said Eric, a lopsided grin on his face. “Where’d you put the bomb?”

 

“In the ‘goo’,” replied HK cheerfully as they made their way back to the Scorcher.

[RC-1162]

sorry it took so much time, but since i'm doing two fics at once, i'm trying to go slow and steady so i dont die of mismanagement . enjoy!

[Diego Varen]

Good Chapter RC, nice comeback. I like the new Avatar and Sig as well. Anyway, HK has really lost it.

 

"Maybe we should go back to the ship"

 

I hope he gets his old self back soon. Looking foward to more. Also I know how you feel about doing more than one Fic. That nearly ruined me, I hope it doesn't happen to you.

[igyman]

Nice one, RC and a word of advice (this depends on how much time you have for it, though): I know I'm new to writing fanfics, but I find it's better to write the entire fic before you post chapters. You may want to finish at least one of them before you continue posting, if nothing else, you'll be able to concentrate on each of them more if you aren't writing them simultaneously, otherwise I guess it can get very confusing when you write. And you can always edit your next chapters before you post them, which I think is a lot easier if you've already written them, instead of instantly thinking of an altered story in your mind and putting it on virtual paper.

[Jason Skywalker]

I really like that one. HK dropped the bomb!

 

And i agree with Pottsie, cool new av and sig.