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I've always really liked quotes. I used to collect my favorite quotes from books, video games, shows and movies. This thread is for posting some of your favorite quotes. They can be funny or serious and can be from anything you want. (Even from real people...whatever)

 

The universe doesn't much care if you tread on a butterfly. There are plenty more butterflies. Gods might note the fall of a sparrow but they don't make any effort to catch them.

-Terry Pratchett (Lords and Ladies)

 

All he knew was that you couldn't hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that'd make the world, in a small way, a better place.

Like shooting someone.

-Terry Pratchett (The Fifth Elephant)

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Hmmm. I have a couple I like.

 

 

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." - Confucius

 

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. - Jack Handy

 

 

Hong Kong danger squad, You can’t escape da danger!

We from Hong Kong Connecticut. It faaaar east Connecticut. The danger capital of the world. You can’t escape the danger there very long.

-UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE

 

Fire is HOT, how bout it!?!?

-UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE

 

"Human's rule!!! Dolphins can suck it!!!!"

-UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE

 

 

 

"Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!"

- Futurama

 

 

Nibblonian: You are the last hope of the universe.

Fry : So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?

Nibblonian: Yes - except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.

- Futurama

 

 

 

 

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I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many more. I'll have to stagger them over a series of days as to not overload this place with awesomeness.

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"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever." - 1984

 

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-a-vis an introduction, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V for Vendetta (film) I'm a sucker for alliterations.

 

Sam: Sometime we should sit down and have a spiritual discussion about the sanctity of life.

Max: BLAM! And then he was mucilage! Did you say something, Sam?

Sam: Forget it, little buddy.

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The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be love loved in return.-Moulin Rouge!

 

Reporter: Would you like to give us a word or two?

Kitty Baxter: I'll give you three- GO TO HELL.- Chicago

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All the following are from Waiting for Guffman.

 

UFO Expert: I've been coming to this circle for about five years, and measuring it. The diameter and the circumference are constantly changing, but the radius stays the same. Which brings me to the number 5. There are five letters in the word Blaine. Now, if you mix up the letters in the word Blaine, mix 'em around, eventually, you'll come up with Nebali. Nebali. The name of a planet in a galaxy way, way, way... way far away. And another thing. Once you go into that circle, the weather never changes. It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain.

 

Corky St. Clair: Well, then, I just HATE you... and I hate your... ass... FACE!

 

Libby Mae Brown: I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty.

 

Libby Mae Brown: [as "Ima"] I hear that French girls... are very pretty... that they wear the finest of clothes. I also hear that they are experts... in the ways of love.

Corky St. Clair: [as "Monty"] Ima... I'm going to fight for my country! To fight... and yes, perhaps die... so that young men from here to Timbuktu can feel the wind of freedom blowin' through their hairrrrr!

 

Dr. Pearl: I dream of Genie with the light brown hair. Floating like a vapor on the soft summer air. LOOK OUT! Campdown races sing this song doo da doo da...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I freggin love Waiting for Guffman.

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Chowder: I thought if I shot the heart it'd die.

Jenny: THAT isn't the heart.

Chowder: Then what is it?

Jenny: Well...if those are the teeth...and that's the tongue...then that must be the uvula.

Chowder: Oh...so it's a girl house.

Jenny: What? No! The uvula generates the gag reflex...everyone has one.

Chowder: (Looking creeped out) I don't.

-I just got back from Monster House in 3D.

 

--------------------Invader Zim-----------------------------

 

Ms. Bitters: Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.

 

Zim: You can't escape by teleporter, little Gaz. I cut the power! Your pitiful attempt to escape is nothing but a PITIFUL FAILURE! Stupid, stinking humans!

Gaz: Doesn't this spaceship have any escape pods?

Zim: Of course; they're right over there.

 

Zim: My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Taaaaaaallist! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? It's me! My Tallest? My Tallest!

Almighty Tallest Red: I was waiting to see when you would shut up on your own, but it's been three hours, Zim. THREE HOURS! What do you want?

Zim: Well, I noticed you're moving closer to the Earth than *ever* before!

Almighty Tallest Red: How would you know that?

Zim: Oh I know all kinds of theings about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...

Almighty Tallest Purple: Hey!... That *is* creepy! You're creepy, Zim.

 

Zim: You're nothing Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!

Dib: Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

 

(WAY too many good quotes from that show)

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A problem correctly posed provides it's own solution. ~ Terry Pratchet (The last Hero.)

 

The Chosen One : Betty has gone too far. Killing is bad .... and ...wrong. there should be a new word for killing like... Badong! And I will stand for the opposite of badong... *actually tries to pronounce* G..nod.ab.

 

Dude #1. Where does it hurt?

Dude #2 Pretty much around the big bloody spot...

 

Captain Lorington: You are undoubtedly the worst pirate I have ever heard of.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Ahh... but you have heard of me...

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St. Jimmy, you get cool points for quoting both Terry Pratchett and Pirates in the same post.

 

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

-Terry Pratchett

 

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, © run away from, and (d) rocks.

Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

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Look! Tis our noble king!- Francisco De Orellana, in a play I wrote when I was ten.

 

Thinky dance!- Alice Fairley.

 

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- Me

 

Off to smile sincerely at dogs- Zokhail, tower survivor.

 

My ENTIRE quotes page at fan fiction (dotnet)

 

Link here: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1039434/

 

Also...

 

The only thing the bowl of petunias thought as it fell were- "Oh no. Not again,"- Hitchhiker's guide.

 

And the aptly named, 'sir not appearing in this film'- Monty python and the holy grail.

 

Here I am at the store. (Insert shopping sequence)- Bonus Stage 86.

 

I am the bacon man bring all the pork I can to all the little kids down the row. Clogging their arteries with all the MSG's so they'll all die at the age of eight- Bonus Stage 79.

 

OW! I Can see you were being literal. OW! Oh great, now I can't see color. OW! My name is Barbara- Bonus Stage 79.

 

Be careful of the vase.

What vase? Oh, this one.

(SMASH!)

No, that one.- Scary movie 3.

 

Yes, but why is the rum gone?- POTC=COTBP

 

Why is the rum always gone?- POTC=DMC

 

SHE'S HERE!!! HIDE THE RUM!!!- POTC=DMC

 

Look mommy, it's another horse!- Furcadia, my character's description.

 

I WANT TO BE A DUCK TOO!!!

Ok, Ebony officially wins the random contest- Furcadia, a random conversation.

 

If I was Emma, I would hate you.- Mrs Oliver

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"Lemons on the left side, demons on the right, never in the dark, never in the light."-Neil Cicierega

 

"Emmy, I'm not going to hit you with this hammer."

"...thanks!"

"*bonk* APRIL FOOLS."-Neil and Emmy

 

"Just usher that Diablo back, give him a guitar painted with a union jack!"-Lemon Demon

 

"Then Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Bunito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, Terminator, Capt. Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, and Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan, all came out of nowhere, lightning fast, and the kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass, it was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw, with civilians looking on in total awe!"-Trapezoid

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'Do you have any more complaints? Just make a list and we'll stick it on the porthole, okay?'

 

'Man, nothing is fυcked here...'

'Nothing is fυcked?! The Goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain!'

 

And from the most-quotable movie of all time:

 

'This is special agent Johnson... no, the other one.'

 

'Those terrorists are gonna be pissing their pants right now!'

'The mayor's gonna have my ass...'

 

'Yee-ha! Just like fυckin' Saigon, eh slick?'

'I was in junior high, dickhead.'

 

'"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."'

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FF7 Quotes

-----------------------

"The gate of tomorrow is not the light of heaven, but the darkness in the depths of the earth" -Vincent Valentine.

 

Barret: How much farther do these stairs go on?

Tifa: Why don't you ask them?

Barret: It's not one of them endless stairways or somethin', d'ya think?

Tifa: Of course not!!

Barret: Right... couldn't be that....Are we there yet?

Tifa: Not yet.

-Shinra Tower Stairwell, Final Fantasy VII

 

I know how hard it is being a leader. I've been

one. I always forget who has what materia.

-Cid, Final Fantasy VII

 

A pro isn't someone who sacrifices themselves for a job. That's just a fool.

-Reno, Final Fantasy VII

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CENTRAL: What do you want, eraser?

JACK: Please don't call me that.

CENTRAL: That's who you are. Your title, Wrath, Eraser. Erase sould from the populace of Earth. "Need, dream, find, taste, use, scar, ****, break" as the original reaper said of his position.

ME: NINE INCH NAILS REFERENCE!

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"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."

- Alan Minter, Boxer

 

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."

- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

 

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."

- Bill Peterson, football coach

 

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."

- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

 

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."

- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

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