Anyone got an English-Newspeak dictionary?

[Dagobahn Eagle]

Yup, it's satire-time again.

 

I'm just wondering, because with the way the neo-con crowd keeps butchering the English language, it's a bit hard to keep up. I'm doing my best here at my end, but a dictionary would greatly help as NewSpeak is my fourth language, after Scandinavian (Norwegian dialect), English, and German.

 

Take "terrorism". Bush and company has realized that you don't need a diversity of words to describe what your opponents are doing. "Guerilla warfare"? Hopelessly outdated - it's from even earlier than the 1700s, when the US Minutemen did it. "Hate-crime"? "Peaceful uprising"? Please. "Ambush"? Give me a break. "Freedom fighters"? Nah. "Terrorism" and "terrorist" do the job so nicely.

 

And what do we need words such as "liberal", "pacifist", "dissenter", or "protester" for when we have good old "Anti-American"? There, four words less for our Bushist, God-fearing children to learn.

 

Furthermore, faced with numerous suicide attempts in Guàntanamo ("people tried to kill themselves all the time", Shafiq Rasul, the eldest of the Tipton Three, told Michael Winterbottom), the Bush Administration or their cronies decided to put "self-mutilation" "pretended self-mutilation", "pretended suicide attempt", "suicide attempt", and, of course, "suicide" into a single little nice and short euphemism - "SIB" (or "manipulative self-injurious behaviour"). This reduces the number of words the kids of future Cheneystan have to cope with, eases the spelling, decreases the time it takes to write/type/say the word, and at the same time carries a whole lot less emotional weight, which helps to throw the liberal media off the trail.

 

Neo-Con Newspeak is the only language in the world which vocubulary is shrinking instead of growing. I agree this is an essential steps in the War on Terror™, which I note with satisfaction that the world is eager to help us fight (Uzbekistan, for one, proved they were doing their part when they reported that they had attacked and killed hundreds of terrorists in action in one of their smaller towns - they were caught conducting what in the old language of the Anti-Americans would be called a "peaceful uprising").

 

However, the constant disappearance of words makes things a bit difficult for me, as I never know if the word I want to use has been swallowed up or not, or which, exactly, of the meanings of the words I should apply (when I hear of a SIB in Guántanamo, is it a suicide attempt or three superficial cuts with a butter knife?).

 

I hope someone - probably FOX, who's already doing such a terrific job at promoting the War on Terror™, could print a NewSpeak dictionary for us who are having trouble keeping up.

 

Thanks in advance:usa:.

 

More:

The Road to Guantanamo web site. Go to "In the Press", then "June 22, 2006 -- George Bush's War on Language".

[Jae Onasi]

You forgot the mispronunciation part. Gotta make sure it's 'Nuculer' instead of 'Nuclear'.

[Emperor Devon]

And anything made in the U.S. that uses the term 'French' must be replaced with 'freedom'. Don't forget that one.

[CapNColostomy]

And anything made in the U.S. that uses the term 'French' must be replaced with 'freedom'. Don't forget that one.

 

I can think of several better, more colorful descriptive terms for the French besides freedom.

[edlib]

Freedom Kissing, Freedom-Cut Panties, and Freedom Ticklers just really don't have the same ring to them though,.. do they?

 

Could make for a hot, very patriotic night if you put them all together, though...

[Jae Onasi]

[humor]edlib, I think you need a night out tonight before the testosterone poisoning kills you.

 

@DE--you can be God-fearing _and_ Democrat. They're not mutually exclusive, I'm very happy to say. There's lots of things I like and dislike about both parties.

 

Actually, I hate any PoliticSpeak, not just conservative. The attempt to redefine language to skirt the truth is not unique to conservatives. Clinton's re-definition of an intimate encounter and Gore's 'invention of the world wide web' belong there as well. There are some gems from the entire political spectrum.

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

@DE--you can be God-fearing _and_ Democrat. They're not mutually exclusive, I'm very happy to say. There's lots of things I like and dislike about both parties.

So you're a flip-flopper?

[Jae Onasi]

So you're a flip-flopper?

 

Cute.

Independent who tends to vote more liberal than conservative. I look at the candidates, see if they're qualified for the job first, look at their stands on the issues I find important, and vote accordingly, regardless of party.

 

@TK below--oh, I'd forgotten about that one. I thought that one was just ridiculous.

[Dagobahn Eagle]

Actually, I hate any PoliticSpeak, not just conservative. The attempt to redefine language to skirt the truth is not unique to conservatives. Clinton's re-definition of an intimate encounter and Gore's 'invention of the world wide web' belong there as well. There are some gems from the entire political spectrum.

Of course there are. I just wanted to bring up Bush's particular inventions so people who haven't already will think of them.

 

So you're a flip-flopper?

Good one, Jmack.

[TK-8252]

What is the definition of "is?"

[Q]

I can't believe that no one has mentioned Bush's comment "We don't torture." I know it's child's play compared to what the North Vietnamese did to John McCain and company, but it isn't exactly pattycake, either. Maybe it's because they have yet to invent a Newspeak word or phrase for what the CIA has been doing to their prisoners-(cough)-"detainees" (IT'S WAR-call them what they are, for crying out loud!).

 

Here's a suggestion: How about "unfriendly persuasion?"

 

At the same time we also have the Clinton administration to thank for "political correctness" as well as redefining the phrase "sexual relations" to beat a perjury rap, and all those other wonderfully nauseating tidbits they left us with.

 

If you look back, you'll find that EVERY previous administration has made similar "contributions" to the language, much to the detriment of said language.

 

I believe that being completely full of crap is a prerequisite for political office.

[edlib]

Small point: The term "Politically Correct" is far, far older than the Clinton Administration.

 

It did enter widespread common usage during that time, however... but it cannot be said they originated the term. In fact, the right tended to use it far more than the left.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_correctness

[Q]

^^^

I didn't mean to imply that the Clintonites invented the term itself; just that a lot of that non-offensive nonsense (some of it quite condescendingly OFFENSIVE, IMO) to which that term applies became (far too) commonplace at that time.

[edlib]

Fair enough.