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ATTN: LITTLE KIDS WITHOUT YOUR DRIVERS LICENSES


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Hello little kids (read: jailbait), after your Drivers' Ed, where your instructor will brainwash you with bull**** (i.e. IF YOU GO ON ****ING MILE OVER THE ****ING SPEED LIMIT YOU WILL ****ING GET PULLED OVER/DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH), and your license test where you can get your license just by going under 30 MPH and sucessfully making a 3-point turn (especially if you get a gossipy state trooper named Shaniqua who hasn't seen the Drivers' Ed guy in "forever"), you can drive like a normal person. This means:

 

  • You can actually go over the speed limit - most cops won't pull you over unless you're going 10+ MPH over the speed limit (here in the U.S. anyway)
  • You don't have to use your turn signal every time you touch the ****ing wheel
  • The right side of the road is yours; you can pass people even if it's a two-lane street
  • If you're not doing at least 70 on the highway, get in the ****ing right lane

 

That is all.

 

 

And yes, I got pissed off at some kid while driving home today.

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I know about the speeding thing. My mom speeds ALL THE TIME! Hell, when DOESN'T she go over the speed limit?

 

My cousin just got her license though. She's pretty good, even though I'm not allowed to ride in a car she's driving until she goes 6 months without an accident.

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  • You can actually go over the speed limit - most cops won't pull you over unless you're going 10+ MPH over the speed limit (here in the U.S. anyway)
  • You don't have to use your turn signal every time you touch the ****ing wheel
  • The right side of the road is yours; you can pass people even if it's a two-lane street
  • If you're not doing at least 70 on the highway, get in the ****ing right lane

  • Don't ****ing tailgate me, or I'll slow down to 5 mph, when you try to pass me I'll gun it and won't stop going for a long ass time.
     
  • If you are too busy talking to your girlfriend to pay attention I have a tendency to throw my full pop cans at you.
  • If you're too busy talking on your cell phone and pull out in front of me coming out of Starbucks, not only will you get the finger, I will also stick my head out the window and will yell "Stupid Bitch" at you, many times, which will hold up traffic.

Fix'd

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I propose a new law allowing babies to right to drive. Babies are people too you know. They have places to be, people to meet, pacifiers to suck. Why should they be relegated to second hand citizens? Remeber on voting day vote yes on prop 244.

 

I was so nervous when I started driving. It sucked. Everyone is going to be that boat sooner or later. Just relax, be kind.

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I propose a new law allowing babies to right to drive. Babies are people too you know. They have places to be, people to meet, pacifiers to suck. Why should they be relegated to second hand citizens? Remeber on voting day vote yes on prop 244.

 

I was so nervous when I started driving. It sucked. Everyone is going to be that boat sooner or later. Just relax, be kind.

I got **** to do.

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01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01001010 01101101 01100001 01100011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101111 01110000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101111 01110000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101111 01110000 01100101 01110010

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01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01001010 01101101 01100001 01100011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101111 01110000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101111 01110000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101111 01110000 01100101 01110010

 

Saying it three times like that really drives it home.

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01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01100001 01101101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 00100000 01011011 01111000 01100011 01101111 01110010 01100101 01011101

 

-What does it mean?

-Nothing it's just giberish.

 

*Looks at it in the mirror*

 

1011000101 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01100001 01101101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 01100101 00100000 01011011 01111000 101100011 01101111 01110010 01100101 01011101

 

*Screams*

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