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It's a long and epic tale. You see, I used to be a farmer and I made a livin' fine, I had a little stretch of land along the CP line. But times went by and though I tried the money wasn't there, and the bankers came and took my land and told me fair is fair. I looked for every kind of job, the answer always 'no'. "Hire you now?" they'd always laugh. "We just let twenty go." The government promised me a measly little sum, but I've got too much pride to end up just another bum. Then I thought 'who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone? I'm gonna be a pirate, on the river Saskatchewan'!

 

And it was a heave ho, high ho coming down the plains, stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains.

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No fightin' y'all. This be a place O" peace and an all that jazz.

 

But if you insist on fighting please do it in a sophisticated and intelligent manner. You two should take your shirts off. Yea.. now oil eachother up before you wrestle. Yea... baby oil.

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