Achilles Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 LinkLINCOLN, Neb. - The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere. If he doesn't show up for his court appearance, can the judge issue a warrant for his arrest? I also wonder how he would be sworn in for testimony. Hmmm.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 If we convict him for a death sentence, does that mean Friedrich Nietzsche will roll in his grave faster than Sonic on a Red Bull binge? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Reminds me of the petition to God to stop him from hurting people in wars and disasters. That didn't work either:(. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Sounds more like a parody of lawsuits to me. Still, it doesn't make sense that you are trying to take legal action against someone who isn't human. If you are, then you are including God as a functional member of the human society, which elicits a mighty WTF from the Almighty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Our tax dollars at work yet again. I can just see the Nebraska state legislature next passing a law saying it's illegal to sue a deity after this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tk102 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Hello, Lucifer? Is this God? Hey what's going on? I'm getting sued. Holy ****! Precisely. That sucks. How can I help? Well I need a lawyer... *ba dum pa* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor the Bassis Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 This is a bit crazy. I'm curious how this helps anyone in either this life or the next. St Peter: "So you sued God. How do you think that helps your chances of getting through these gates?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Warrior Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Only in America. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 ^^^Where this guy was elected. Yes, people apparently voted this nutball into office. Beggars the imagination... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 What's the likelihood he'll be re-elected next term? I'm betting the probability approaches zero.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achilles Posted September 20, 2007 Author Share Posted September 20, 2007 What's the likelihood he'll be re-elected next term? I'm betting the probability approaches zero....90% christian, so I'd say you're probably right, assuming that this issue is the sole consideration in the campaign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TK-8252 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I think he's right to sue. God needs to pay up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 That's the thing, how would he collect...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 The 'lawsuit' was meant as a practical example of how frivolous lawsuits in the States have gotten totally out of hand. This is a more than valid point, but it was apparently missed by most people, including the media and, big surprise, the fundamentalist clergy, who recently fabricated a 'reply' from God. "This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here — poof!" Friend said.How utterly pathetic. Not only does he fail to look up the motive of the Senator, he feels compelled to fill in for his almighty god who's apparently unable to defend himself. Watch me scribble a magical note from Odin and say it was delivered by two black ravens. [God's] response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.So God and Jesus could be pedophiles, rapists, homosexuals and flamboyant terrorists and it'd be totally OK to everyone. Right. I love Christian fundamentalists. Edit: Waitaminute, just 'some' Earthly laws. OK, so they've caught our pedophile argument and now He's only allowed to call giant floods killing all but a handful of humans and crush cities with brimstone. I don't know where they pulled the 'some' part from, but I feel safer already:). It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point. "I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.Yeah, I'm so lucky God included the will to rape and murder and beat other people up in the Free Will package, because without the Will to Rape, a fundamental human right, we'd be mindless zombies without a will of our own. Sure. There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.Pathetic. A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.I take it He does not take prayers anymore, then. Where should we send requests for help now, to the Salvation Army? Like, 'God C/O Salvation Army, Houston Chapter, this and that address'? Will be quite a change for the church-goers, sending e-mails instead of getting down on their knees. 90% christian, so I'd say you're probably right, assuming that this issue is the sole consideration in the campaign.It all too often is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 Uh, DE, I think the 'reply' was supposed to be a joke. I read somewhere that they thought it might have been one of the lawyers who did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lathain Valtiel Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Remember though, CHRISTIANS ARE HUMORLESS ROBOTS HAHAHA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Remember though, CHRISTIANS ARE HUMORLESS ROBOTS HAHAHA. Oh, yeah, I forgot that part of the contract that I signed in blood that said I had to give up humor for Lent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achilles Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 Update "Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Polk wrote. Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, thinks he's found a hole in the judge's ruling. "The court itself acknowledges the existence of God," Chambers said Wednesday. "A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience." Therefore, Chambers said, "Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit." Checkmate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nedak Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 We should have god run for office as well. HAH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achilles Posted October 19, 2008 Author Share Posted October 19, 2008 Who would swear him in and what would he put his hand on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Who would swear him in and what would he put his hand on?Holy Ghost, science textbook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achilles Posted October 20, 2008 Author Share Posted October 20, 2008 Makes sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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