[fic] Shrouded in Darkness: Yuthura Ban's Tale

[Rev7]

Wow, I didn't know that Vrook had a soft side. ;_;

 

I liked that chapter, and how Alexus broke down and came clean in the force cage. I could really feel the emotion. It really is amazing, when you think about it, how far Yuthura has really come in this journey of hers. Someone that has learned to embrace her compassionate side, or at least more than she did, and be able to help people get over their demons and problems; however, maintaining her strict side. What a journey. Beautiful chapter, Darth_Yuthura.

[HK-42]

Its been a while in the CEC, and the first thing I noticed was this thread having 200 replies. My first thought it would be good, and Im glad to see I wasnt proven wrong. I'll be reading this, through the 48 chapers(Wow!) and I got to say you might be my favorite author since Renegade Puma, Pottsie(topsite, Diago Varin or whateverthehellhisnameisnow) and Jae.

 

Continue The good work

[Darth_Yuthura]

My first thought it would be good, and Im glad to see I wasnt proven wrong. I'll be reading this, through the 48 chapters

 

Thanks. It really means a lot to hear great compliments such as that. At about chapter 7, I seriously considered either discontinuing or changing the story to 3rd person. On another site, I only got four replies because this didn't correspond to the standard SW format. I just really wanted to give readers the feeling as if they were indeed this character and why she acted in a particular way.

 

To any new readers: I started revising this story from an earlier version and left a temporary discrepancy between chapters 19-20 that will be corrected. I know that I've said this before, but there are more than just additional chapters, but changes to past posts.

 

Happy holidays!

[HK-42]

Well Im almost done, and i just added the rest chapters to my PSP since I'll be gone. Got to say there great!

 

Great Job D_Y

[Darth_Yuthura]

It's been a long while, but I've been invested in another fiction recently. I don't intend to just drop this and leave it behind, so don't think that I will just stop w/out warning. This is where the Revan/Trevelyan chapters start. Hope you enjoy.

 

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It has been nearly a week since Alexus had returned to the temple. It turned out that the Dantooine Council had discovered Cyen’ta’s crime shortly after he had been killed and Alexus had already departed. Master Vrook was very upset at the deaths of those Bith, but even more infuriated that someone among the Order had been exploiting her sexually.

 

Vrook told her that Cyen’ta would’ve been expelled had they known what he was doing, but because he was already dead, they didn’t make his crime public. The Jedi simply didn’t need another stain on their reputation and because she had already departed, it didn’t really matter anymore. She had been demonized because she joined Revan and Cyen’ta was painted as her victim. From a certain point of view, he was, but they never explained how that came to happen. If they said he had been raping Alexus, no one would have shed any tears for his death.

 

The whole thing sickened me. It was one thing for a leader to lie if she were trying to maintain morale or to dissuade fear, but the idea that they had covered up the truth like that... it was wrong. Of course there was also the matter with Alexus.

 

I found it odd that Master Vrook was her master and even stranger that he seemed to overlook her original crime. She had been responsible for two deaths, but I didn’t bring it up. Vrook likely intended to deal with more sensitive matters later. I wouldn’t have minded that, but what really concerned me was how ‘protective’ he had become over his old padawan. After that heartwarming ‘thank-you’ from him, Master Vrook wouldn’t let me work with her even after it was I who brought her back to him in the first place. He said that he didn’t want anyone to affect her recovery and that I had my own student to deal with. I think that he just didn’t want to admit that I was a better match for her than he was.

 

------

 

There have been hundreds of books written on the lightsaber. Most addressed the design, techniques, and history of the weapon, but every one included at least a single chapter on the symbology to the Order and how it was meant to represent the individual holding it. I never put much sentimental value in my weapon or studied the design in conjunction with the fighting techniques I used.

 

When I had built that makeshift saber a few days back, I never realized just how crude it was. I didn’t want to carry it, even as a backup weapon, so I took out the crystal and placed it back in the necklace, where it belonged, and scrapped the rest.

 

I still wanted a fallback weapon with me, so I thought it was a good time to really pour my soul into a new lightsaber. My first design was extremely simple, easy to assemble and disassemble, but did not have a proper grip and was barely distinctive or unique. I decided that I wanted to build something radical. A saber that I could proudly call my own.

 

When I had some time to myself, I spent a full day to simply draw up the plans and collect the raw materials I needed; almost everything had to be my own design. Some pieces simply didn’t exist, otherwise I would gladly have used a conventional emitter matrix or power cell. Another consequence of making my own design was the need for patience. It took another two full days for the casing to be ready.

 

On the second day, I had spent all my time alone in a workshop... I needed more than what a workbench could provide. At some point, Ross had come to check on me. He probably wanted me to be teaching him to use Force lightning or something, so he probably thought that if he stared at me long enough, I’d get sick of it and drop what I was doing to appease him. I suppose I could’ve used the company anyway.

 

“Look, I know that this kind of thing is almost a spiritual experience meant to be spent alone, but you’ve been working on this for three days. Do you need any help?”

 

“Thanks, but it’s not that it’s difficult; just requires this much time.”

 

He looked over my shoulder to see that my new weapon was barely close to completion. The casing was not in sight, as it was in a nearby kiln... instead of being machined. It must have been confusing to see what appeared to be half an hour of work that took two days. He nervously asked “How long did it take you to build your last lightsaber?”

 

I smiled and chuckled at the agitation in his voice. “This is a very special saber. I think I’ll be done by tomorrow.”

 

He sat down in a chair next to me and saw that the emitter matrix I was working on looked very unusual. “What is that made of?”

 

I grinned. “Thermoplastics and various polymers.”

 

“Thermalplasic?”

 

“Yes. It’s a fiber reinforced plastic that can withstand the intense temperatures generated by a lightsaber blade.”

 

“What’s so great about that? Why not just use a manufactured part? They could be built to any specification and almost free of flaws.”

 

“All except one... you can’t get any of them past a security checkpoint.”

 

He raised his head in surprise. “No metal. Is that what you’re going for?”

 

I smiled and nodded proudly.

 

“But how? An emitter matrix... a power cell... how can you build such things without any metal?”

 

I shrugged my shoulders. “It can be done, but there are definite tradeoffs. The power source is not rechargeable, only holds a quarter the capacity of a standard cell, and can’t enhance the beam like an ion cell. The matrix also can’t generate a beam intense enough to cut through durasteel like a standard design. The lens and is really the only thing that would be interchangeable.”

 

He took a close look at the power cell that was already finished. “Can’t you use a normal power cell if you don’t need to get past a security checkpoint?”

 

“I thought of that, but couldn’t make a cell that I could easily detach. The cell has to be inside the casing, or it will be dangerously exposed. I also can’t attach another cell behind it, or the two incompatible power sources would become volatile.”

 

He took a closer look at the cell and then examined the plans I had laid out on my opposite side. After a moment of going to and fro, he made a suggestion. “What if you added a transformer that could separate the two power sources? If you added a power receptacle at the back of the saber, you could add both a transformer and standard power cell that could work independently from the other.”

 

I looked at the design and realized that was actually a very good suggestion. A transformer had to be made of metal... there was no way around that. If both that and a cell were added to the back of the saber, it would make a good two-handed weapon. And it would be fairly easy to add that without having to start all over again with the casing.

 

“Brilliant. I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought of something like that.”

 

He smiled proudly. “I’m sure you would have figured it out eventually.” Then he took a few tools that I was not using and got up from next to me.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I thought I’d make a transformer to save time.”

 

I smiled sympathetically. “This is still my saber. It was your idea, but I’m going to use it.”

 

He sighed as though I were rejecting him and dropped the tools back where they were.

 

I stood up to look him in the eye. “I appreciate the offer, but this is a highly experimental weapon I’m building. If it doesn’t work, I would rather blame myself than you. You understand?”

 

He nodded. “Please come back as soon as possible. I’m worried about Alastria.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

He had his mouth open, but couldn’t get his words out. “I was told that she needed me to help her adapt to life here, but she’s... I don’t know how to stop her when she’s doing the wrong thing.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

He sighed. “Whenever I have to tell her that she’s... misbehaving, I just don’t know what to do if she ignores me.”

 

I put down what I was working on and set my undivided attention on him. “You have to be gentle at first, but increase your level of sternness to match hers'. She needs to know that if she continues to act like a Sith, she will be treated as one.”

 

He sighed in frustration. “That’s the thing. Whenever I try to stand up to her, she immediately makes me feel guilty for judging her. I was hoping you might talk to her again.”

 

I turned back to the workstation I was at and turned off the fusion cutter I was using. After two full days of nothing but that saber, I needed something that didn’t revolve around chemistry and calculations. Synthesizing thermoplastics required an elaborate recipe of materials followed by several hours in a pressurized kiln, but the end product was lighter and more durable than most alloys.

 

The truth was that I really wanted something different from everyone else. I had considered using the tonfa grip, but it was difficult to use and didn’t want to risk severing one of my lekku with something I didn’t know how to use. In addition, I wanted to use my new saber in conjunction with my original.

 

After my experience on AR-159, I didn’t want to leave myself exposed when performing a saber throw, so I wanted a second weapon. Another lesson I learned was that a lightsaber was dangerously exposed when not in hand, so I wanted a dedicated throwing weapon that could take more punishment than the one I currently had. That was the reason I encased the power cell inside the casing; most designs left the cell dangerously exposed.

 

A thermal plastic case was stronger than a metallic one, but its biggest liability was not being ductile. It could take more punishment than metal, but anything beyond that and the case would shatter. I figured that such punishment would render a metal saber useless anyway, so it might not matter whether it was just a dent or a total loss. It could even withstand being struck by another lightsaber, although it was hardly a match for phrik or cortosis; both metals.

 

After a moment of losing my train of thought, I got my head back on the matter at hand. I knew that Alastria was having trouble adapting to her new life, just as I had. Unlike her, I had two very close friends/masters to guide me while she had no one. I did not inspire, I sympathized. I wasn’t a role model, but I was the closest thing to a friend she had; I had to suffice.

 

I looked to Ross and nodded. “Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to speak with Alastria.”

 

--------

 

--------

 

It was late in the evening, or early in the morning, but I had been asleep for about an hour before I sensed an intense disturbance in the Force. It was so great that it woke me up like the sound of a concussion grenade. I was almost in shock at how rapidly I went from sleep to having adrenaline surging through my body.

 

I had not known whether it was something I alone felt, or if it was heard by everyone in the Temple. After I calmed down, I realized that something was very wrong. I didn’t know what, but the pulse I felt was done in distress or panic. I needed to know what had happened, so I didn’t think Alfred would’ve minded if I woke him if he were not already. “Master Kolchak, I just felt...”

 

“Yes, I felt it too. It originated from within the Temple; I’m going to investigate.” He replied.

 

“I’m coming with you. Where are you now?”

 

“I’m going to the primary medical facility. I’m already in the area and think the disturbance originated there. I’ll let you know what I find.” He answered.

 

“I’ll meet you there.” I said as I cut the comlink. I rushed to get dressed and was out of my room within a minute, both of my lightsabers in hand.

 

I didn’t know why, but the pulse I felt was not something I could just let someone else investigate... I had to find out what had happened for myself. As I got closer to the source, I got more worried as Alfred hadn’t contacted me again. As unlikely something had happened to him, I got more worried that whatever it was couldn’t have been a minor issue. I could almost imagine him finding a danger that he couldn’t handle, or a problem that didn’t allow him to tell me ‘Go back to bed, Yuthura. It’s nothing.’ When I tried contacting him three minutes later, I got no response.

 

Suddenly, I was filled more with panic than curiosity and began running as fast as I could to reach the medical facility. As I got closer, I could feel both Alfred and Revan along with a number of powerful Jedi as well. The two were unconscious, which made me even more determined to reach them and stop whatever was going on.

 

Something strange was happening to Revan’s Force power. It was very subtle, but I came to the realization of what was happening... the two or three other Jedi were definitely Council members and they were forcing their ‘treatment’ upon Revan. That Force pulse was a cry of distress. He clearly had not been doing it willingly.

 

After the realization, I felt a sudden and uncontrollable surge of anger flow through me. It was said that Jedi don’t kill their prisoners, but what they were doing was virtually another form of slavery, which to me was even worse than what the Hutts use. They were violating his rights to be his own person and I had to stop them.

 

Still, I could not imagine myself taking on one Council member, let alone two. Alfred was a far greater Jedi than I, but even he couldn’t fight off being put into a stasis trance. I knew I was going to be stopped, but I did not intend to just let them tamper with his mind as if it belonged to them.

 

I grabbed my lightsabers, but did not yet deploy the blades of energy. I knew that I stood no chance in a battle, but that was exactly what I was about to do. When I was just outside the door to the medical ward, it obviously was locked, so I didn’t even try. I unleashed a Force pulse, punching a hole through the entire door assembly, which was almost twice as wide as the doorway itself. The sheer power behind that repulse almost symbolized my resolve to stop them.

 

I saw Alfred on one of the beds in a stasis trance and Revan was on the far right side of the room with Master Vrook hovering over him and Master Zhar had taken a position between us, ready to stop me.

 

I shouted at the top of my lungs, “Get away from him!”

 

Zhar extended his hand to restrain me like he had Alfred, but did not yet enter my mind. “This isn’t what you think! He’s confused; he needs aid...“

 

“Get away!” I shrieked as I engaged my lightsabers.

 

Zhar reached into my mind to put me into stasis, but I fought back and resisted him with all the strength I could muster to kept him out. I felt him trying to invoke anger upon me to break my concentration. There was something wrong; he either had a laps in his own concentration, or I shielded myself better than I ever thought possible.

 

The stasis trance upon Jedi worked differently than it did for other people. In order to break down the shield around my mind, Zhar had to break my peace and serenity by escalating the anger within me. I had a lot of memories for him to tap into and it didn’t take much for that to shatter, but I was suddenly so enraged that I fought back and stressed my resolve to stop him and Vrook.

 

Although his power did not breach my mental defenses, it immobilized me as I had to concentrate entirely on fighting off his mental attack. When he realized that he could not overcome my mental barriers, Zhar called for help. “She’s... resisting... me.”

 

Vrook turned his attention from Revan to me. “I’ll restrain her. I sense the Darkside brewing... I’ll extinguish her rage.”

 

Zhar let up on his attack and I felt so much relief in such a short period disrupted by an even greater attack upon my mind by an even more powerful master. Vrook somehow found a means to apply my own serenity to amplify his attack. Instead of subverting my anger, he shifted my emotions from anger and rage to the more pleasant emotions, such as the feeling I had when Revan stood up for me against the Council.

 

Vrook used a tactic that drove a Sith’s passion closer to serenity and away from the emotions that empowered their tie to the Force. Somehow, he took away my anger, but I was empowered by the resolve I had for Revan. He had saved me from a life of sacrifice and I was determined to save him. My serenity had been restored, but I felt my mind stating to buckle under the stress.

 

I was almost ready to surrender my mind to the extreme ‘pressure’ for lack of a better word, but Vrook turned his attack back to breaking the serenity so briefly bestowed upon me and caused my anger to swell even more than before.

 

I’ve been told that the wisest Jedi often engage in spiritual/mental/Force battles. Articulating it was very difficult because I could not compare it to anything else I’ve ever experienced. I just knew that I was battling a powerful Jedi master in this ‘battleground of minds’ as once was described. Upon this field of battle, my anger had become my weapon and it was beating back the invader.

 

That seemed to be what I wanted, but as he fought harder, my anger and hatred for him and what he was doing to the man I loved continued to swell. As it did, I went on the offensive and fought back to reject him from my mind. I was becoming afraid of what he, or rather I, was unleashing upon him.

 

After what felt like an eternity had only been several seconds in normal time. Our mental battle strained our physical bodies. I could see Vrook beginning to weaken, looking as though he were 30 years older and the blood veins began to show. My head felt like it was on fire, my nose was bleeding, and I was so close to buckling under the stress. I wanted the mental battle to end, but I did not want to abandon Revan to those... monsters. In desperation, I threw down my enemy and ejected him from my mind.

 

It wasn’t customary for others to join in such battles, but Vrook invited Zhar to help. “Zhar... together... we must stop her.”

 

I was so afraid of what was about to happen. I didn’t know what this was, but I could not surrender to them... I felt as though my anger had gone beyond madness and I knew I could not control it anymore. If Zhar and Vrook both combined their power... I didn’t want what what I needed to beat them anymore.

 

I fell to my knees shortly before Vrook asked for assistance and I was afraid of the force that was going to pummel upon my mental barrier. I extended my hand out to them and weakly pleaded, “No... please... don’t.” My request was not honored.

 

When I felt both their minds upon mine, the pain of resisting had become unbearable. My anger had surged to levels I never thought possible and I was desperate to be beaten... just so it would end. Soon my anger eclipsed everything and I knew I had to fight back and defeat them.

 

The shield around my mind seemed to turn from an unmovable barrier to an unstoppable weapon that was bent on attacking theirs.’ When that happened, my anger surged exponentially and for one brief moment, I shattered their mental defenses.

 

Almost as I threw them out of my mind, I unleashed a violent Force repulse upon them. In that brief instant came a bright flash followed by utter darkness and I passed out.

[Darth_Yuthura]

As the darkness cleared, I was in a twilight state for what felt like days, but were only minutes. I was numb from a pain suppressant, heard a medical instrument beeping rhythmically with my heart; it was pleasant to hear compared to the activity nearby... footsteps, loud chatter, I could even hear the rustling of their clothing from activity.

 

The closer I came to consciousness, the more painful my head became. The drugs didn’t cover all the pain, and it was difficult to focus because of them. As I slowly came to, I heard Alfred and Revan speaking in the background and raised my head to find them, but I let out a soft whine and my head hit the pillow again.

 

My eyes were closed, but I heard them come to my bedside. Alfred spoke first. “Don’t try to move too quickly. Your injuries were pretty severe.”

 

Revan got to my other side. “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”

 

I weakly moved my head left to right. “Not when I’m still. Did they wipe your mind again?”

 

Although my eyes were still closed and he didn’t say an answer, I heard his clothes rustle by the shaking of his head. “You interrupted them only a few minutes after they started the ‘procedure.’ They usually needed an hour, so I must not have lost very much. Of course if they had, I wouldn’t exactly know if anything was missing.”

 

I smiled and chuckled with him. After that, I felt Alfred touching my left shoulder. “Yuthura, I’m sorry, but we need to know what happened.”

 

I didn’t answer; I just turned my head away from him. Revan rubbed his hand across my forehead and along my neck. That was so pleasant that it made my eyes open and gave me a reason to smile. He got on a knee to be at eye level with me. “I must say I’m astonished that you faced not one but two Council members at once. Thank-you.”

 

More than anything, I wanted to believe what he said, but I was very uneasy about how I did it. Never in my life had I been so afraid of my anger. I never realized just how extreme it ever could be or how quickly I turned to it when I needed the power of the darkside to fight an injustice.

 

I’ve always hated slavery... with every fiber of my being. In my opinion, there was no greater sin than to take another’s life and call it yours. Murder was just as unforgivable, but it was at least a more merciful way to take a life. It was one thing to murder because you hated someone, but it was quite another to deprive someone of their freedom and exploit her life for everything it was worth before discarding it.

 

I could still see Revan as he was on that bed with Zhar and Vrook fighting Alfred and I so they could alter his mind again and maintain their control over not only his life, but his very essence. I’ve watched all too many times as Omeesh destroyed his slaves’ bodies only after breaking them psychologically. It wasn’t enough for him to simply own their flesh, but their souls as well. To that end, he tortured, tormented, and humiliated all of them until they lost their sanity.

 

Even as I watched some of my closest friends being torn apart by his pets, I was almost glad to see them die... it was even more painful to see them grovel to him, to humiliate themselves, and ask for more punishment. When they came to love him more than they loved themselves, they truly belonged to him. I didn’t know what it was like to be broken, but even when they gave themselves to him, he never received more than the shattered remnants of their souls. Ultimately, all he ever did was destroy those innocent lives, but he never had the craft to manipulate them like the Council could with Revan.

 

From a certain perspective, the members of the High Council had crossed a line that Omeesh never had. What infuriated me most was that I sensed no guilt from either of them, even as we were locked in that Force battle. Vrook and Zhar were both convinced they were doing what Revan wanted and that I was wrong to oppose them. They did not have any dilemmas with manipulating a person’s mind, but they would not have condoned execution... that was extremely hypocritical of them.

 

I started falling back to sleep, but Alfred had shaken my shoulder to get my attention again. “Hey... come on, I need you to tell us what happened.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Master Vrook is in critical condition! Zhar suffered grievous injuries. Atris is the only Council member in the Temple at this time and when she gets here, how do you expect her to treat this situation? People will want answers and it’d be better if you tell your side of the story as soon as possible.”

 

I sighed and sat up, but didn’t make any sounds, despite the pain that throbbed in my head. Alfred held his hand against my shoulder, but I didn’t let him keep me down. “They were trying to force something upon Revan that he explicitly did not want to accept. They are the ones who did wrong...”

 

“Yes, we already know. What happened after that?”

 

I pivoted my head to get Alfred in the corner of my eye. “I stopped them.”

 

“Dammit! You know exactly what I’m asking. What exactly did you do to stop them?”

 

I brought my head down and rested it upon my knees. “I don’t know.” I exhaled heavily. “I just don’t know.”

 

He placed his hand upon my shoulder and moved into my line of sight. “Can you remember anything? Anything at all?”

 

I leaned my head back with my eyes focused on the ceiling. “When I confronted them, Zhar tried to drive me into a stasis trance, but I resisted. When he couldn’t, Master Vrook attempted to do so as well, but I still didn’t buckle.”

 

Revan chuckled as if being proud of me. “You resisted Master Vrook? That’s remarkable; even I can’t do that.”

 

I remained silent for a long moment and they knew I had more to add. “I resisted him... and Master Zhar simultaneously. When they both combined their powers, I fought back.” I lifted my head to see Zhar on the opposite side of the medical facility. He looked to be in stable condition, but had many casts all over his body. “Apparently, I succeeded.”

 

Alfred crossed his arms and looked away as though he couldn’t believe that anyone could resist two Council members and defeat them in an Force battle, such as what I did. A moment later, I heard the hissing of a door from across the room and saw ‘Master’ Atris enter and walk in my direction, escorted by two Knights... I didn’t know either of them. Alfred and Revan moved between me and them, but Atris had been walking towards a physician who was had been treating me. “What’s her condition?”

 

“She’s stable. I’ve stopped the bleeding, but she’ll need vicadine and to rest for the next day or two.”

 

“Then it’s safe to move her?” Atris demanded.

 

The doctor looked at me and reluctantly answered. “She doesn’t have to remain here if that’s what you’re asking, but...”

 

“Good.” Atris looked to the Jedi escorting her. “Place her under arrest.”

 

Alfred got in front of her. “Now hold on! This is outrageous! On what charge?”

 

“Assault. Attempted murder. If Lamar dies, then murder. Dishonorable conduct...”

 

“You are mistaken. They are the ones who committed the first overt act.” Revan replied as he moved to protect me.

 

“I highly doubt that. The only reason a Council member would fight is in self defense...” She smirked. “...only if attacked.”

 

“Perhapse if the Council didn’t behave like sniveling little fascists, no one would have a reason to want to kill them.” I chuckled.

 

Everyone reacted to my comment, but Atris was the first to respond. “Sith scum! You will pay for this!” She gestured the two Jedi with her. “Take her. If she resists...”

 

Alfred actually grabbed Atris by the collar and threatened her. “No! You are overstepping your authority. You must wait until you receive word from the other masters before you can make an arrest.”

 

I extended my arm out to Alfred’s shoulder and got his attention. “Alfred, Revan... don’t get in her way. If you do, the vile little tyrant will just brush you aside. Don’t get involved.”

 

“Yuthura!” Alfred shouted as he turned back to me. “What are you doing?”

 

I pulled him next to me to hear my whisper, which was not loud enough for her to hear. “It’s alright. She won’t do anything to violate her authority, but if you try to protect me, you risk drawing yourselves into the line of fire.”

 

“She has no right to do this...”

 

“If I cooperate, it’ll give credibility to my side of this argument. And despite what I think, she is in command... at least until Master Vandar returns. By the way, when is that?”

 

“He’s actually already on his way. Given the circumstances, he decided it was best to end the conference early and is expected to arrive tomorrow.”

 

Revan turned my attention back to Atris. “Was Master Vandar consulted on this? Does he know that you are making an arrest?”

 

“I didn’t give him a name... only that Vrook and Zhar were attacked and in critical condition.”

 

Alfred stood up. “You didn’t feel it wise to give a name, yet you intend to arrest Yuthura? I won’t let you take her.”

 

“I won’t tolerate insubordination, Master Kolchak. She is under arrest and if you interfere, you’ll be arrested as well for obstruction of justice.”

 

Alfred looked to me and I just nodded. Before he and Revan stepped away, I handed him my older-generation lightsaber... which was on a nearby table. The other one I still had hidden in a pocket inside my cloak. I knew I would have made use of that lightsaber sooner or later. “Don’t worry, this will be resolved soon enough. Just watch your backs.”

 

Revan looked at me as if I had gone mad, but I showed him confidence to assure him that I was going to be fine. Atris had the means to arrest me, but no justification. Despite that, going peacefully would have worked in my favor for what was ahead.

 

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I was not handcuffed, but I was taken to a holding cell. Before I was thrown in, a droid scanned me and found nothing that could potentially be a weapon. I couldn’t help but marvel that I was being locked up and they didn’t even know I had a lightsaber with me. Although I was going to be behind a Force-restraining field, I felt a little safer having that weapon with me.

 

Atris came along as well and I almost looked forward to insulting her. She likely wanted to gloat over how evil I was and that this would be the end of my time among the Jedi... I wanted to torment her.

 

After the force field went up, Atris dismissed her body guards, believing I was helpless. Odds were that she wasn’t interested so much in interrogating me, but getting me to admit how evil I was and how noble she was. I didn’t intend to shrivel in terror like I did the last time we spoke. She didn’t scare me.

 

The cell had nothing to sit or lay on, so I just spread myself across the floor and looked as though I were having a decent time. I bundled my cloak to use as a cushion for my aching head and closed my eyes as Atris stood over me.

 

“How did you do it?” she demanded.

 

I kept my eyes closed. “How did I do what, autocrat?”

 

“Be silent, whelp!”

 

I sat up and sneered at her. “If I remained silent, you would get nothing from me... so I’ll be silent.” I chuckled and laid my head back down.

 

She started pacing around the cell. “You miserable, backstopping, renegade! Do you think that you are powerful? Are you proud to know Master Vrook and Zhar are clinging to life?”

 

“Actually no. I ‘am’ glad that I stopped them from wiping Revan’s mind though.”

 

“That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” She crossed her arms as if she came to a great revelation. “You have no interest in anything other than manipulating Revan into becoming your pawn. You just wanted to keep them from destroying all you accomplished. Well your Dark Lord is gone and will never be revived.” She snickered. “A good thing too. If he, Alex Trevelyan, knew that, would he still care for you so?”

 

I stood up, slowly, and looked her in the eye. “Tell me... why did you place me under arrest? Was it because you genuinely believed that I tried to kill them, or are you secretly afraid of me?”

 

She scoffed. “You flatter yourself! If you believe that killing your superiors will elevate you to a higher rank, you are dead wrong. This latest incident will surly result not only your exile, but your imprisonment.” She gazed upon me even closer to the shield. “Tell me... was it worth it?”

 

I turned my back on her. “My only regret is that there is a force field between us, or you would be among the dead.”

 

“Spoken like a true Sith.”

 

I turned around again. “You are a contemptible creature... Atris. Revan is beyond your control and every moment brings him a little closer to defying you again... only this time, he will be out for revenge against you, the Council.”

 

“I’ve had enough of your dissembling! How did you... possibly defeat both of them at the same time?! What kind of trick did you pull?”

 

I smiled and tormented her some more. “It’s eating you up inside, isn’t it? Maybe I’m just that good.”

 

“No, you are not! Revan, maybe, but certainly not you!”

 

I smiled even sharper. “That’s anger in your voice. Jedi were above that... you must not be a Jedi then.”

 

“That most certainly was not. I set the proper example for everyone, which is why I am on the Council and you’re in here.”

 

“You’re getting off the subject... Atris. You’re asking me relevant questions, remember?”

 

“You will address me properly as Master Atris! And you...!” She sighed. Then she shrugged her shoulders and walked away. “There’s no point in this. You know nothing.”

 

“You know... you remind me of so many Sith students I’ve trained in my day. One in particular stands out: Shakra Kaine I think her name was.”

 

Atris turned around, clearly interested in the name. “Kaine was a traitor... just like you. She deserved whatever fate became of her.”

 

“You can’t be betrayed by someone who was never loyal to begin with. Anyway she never accomplished anything on her own, but reached the rank of a full Sith. She did so by manipulating others and creating fraudulent accomplishments. When she was given an actual task, she failed miserably. Everyone was surprised at how easily she was beaten, by I wasn’t. I’ve seen her kind all too often.” I gazed upon Atris to gesture to her my implication. “It’s better to fail honorably than achieve something through fraud, Atris.” When she came back to face me in the eye, I continued. “You are not worthy to be on the Council, nor is anyone who was willing to reprogram Revan’s mind. The moment you did that, you stopped being a Jedi. It didn’t matter who he was, what you did was murder.”

 

“And if we did nothing, Revan would have died anyway. Instead, we allowed him a chance to redeem himself... just like you. Where as he sacrificed much to make reparations, you only seek to undermine all that.” She put her face right before the force field to emphasize her final message. “Don’t you dare assume you have the right to cast judgment... you’ve never faced the consequences of your own actions.” Then she turned to leave again.

 

“Good. I’m disgusted by your presence. Get out!”

 

She looked back and shook her head with mutual disgust, but got out as I requested. Odds were that Alfred and Revan were outside shouting in my defense, but I heard nothing over the electronic buzzing of the force shield surrounding my cell. Even if the field went down, the walls likely were soundproofed.

 

My head was aching as the vicadine started to wear off and I laid on the floor again, having to curl myself up a little to avoid touching the edge of the cylindrical wall of energy around me. It wasn’t so bad because I really wasn’t trapped. With that special lightsaber that’s already proved its worth, I knew that I could break myself out whenever I wanted. For the moment, I was comfortable enough and the drugs helped me fall asleep in less than a minute.

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

Go Yuthura!! * gets out pom poms and a megaphone*

 

This was a great scene between her and Atris. It really shows how Yuthura has grown since their last confrontation...and how Atris is exactly the same as before.

 

The Council is crossing some serious lines with Revan. If this had pages, it would be such a page-turner. Yuthura resisting the Zhar and Vrook...dang. I hope Vandar is more reasonable than those two. I think these last two chapters were very well done. I could just picture their faces to go along with the dialogue.

 

Also, Yuthura's plastic lightsaber idea - it was both clever and original. I don't really have any criticisms about these chapters...the only question I have is why is Revan still living comfortably at the temple knowing the Council will stab him in the back first chance they get?

 

~HOP

[Darth_Yuthura]

This last chapter was rather short. I will be adding on to it 'soon.'

 

There was a point I wanted in having Yuthura build a unique lightsaber: at the beginning of this story, I wanted to give readers the impression that she took little pride in being a Jedi. As the story developed, she started to really take an interest in what she does and stops seeing the lightsaber as 'just a weapon.' Besides, an undetectable lightsaber gives me more to work with in later chapters.

 

I also thought about how I could add to this character based on her lightsaber. Some Jedi have unique lightsabers or styles that make them different from others. I thought this character was not the kind to have a radically different fighting technique, but would build a saber that could do what other designs couldn't. I also wanted to give some more time between her and Ross.

 

You'll get your answer about Revan in the next chapter as well. I don't know if this will be when Revan takes off and never returns as this story arc would be right for that.

[Darth_Yuthura]

Due to the apparent lack of interest, I have decided to end the fiction here. It will not be updated again.

[Rathoris]

WHAT?!

[Darth_Yuthura]

Explanation: One post with one word; that's all the feedback anyone bothered to send in regard to this story just ending without any apparent cause or reason. I will continue writing this, but given as few seem to care one way or another...

 

I really just wanted to see the reaction I would get and determine whether it was worth the effort of continuing with the story or not. I have my answer then.

 

Of course, all it could take is a single watcher to change all that. I'll not end this so abruptly. Due to a personal request, I will continue to press ahead with this and 'Destined to Live.'

 

------------------

Chapter 51: No Longer Jedi

------------------

 

 

A few hours later, which may have been the next morning, Ross came into the cell block and caught sight of me. My migraine had returned and I woke up choking on some blood than ran down my throat instead of through my nostrils. My nose had started bleeding again while I was laying on my back.

 

Ross must have been quite startled to see the blood I coughed up. “Are you alright? They said you were well enough to leave the medical ward.”

 

“I’m fine... *cough* Just... *cough* a nosebleed.” I sat up and held my head. “And a migraine.”

 

“Shouldn’t you have been treated before being coming here?”

 

“By Atris’ standards, I was well enough to be here.”

 

“Yeah. She also said you weren’t allowed visitors, but even a Council member couldn’t defy the master/apprentice regulations.”

 

“Regulations? I wasn’t aware there were regulations. I mean... I know there are, but I’ve never seen a document with all of them.”

 

“There really isn’t one. They’re defined by each master... Master Kolchak wanted me tell the guards that I was your padawan and doing a project that demanded you be with me.” He replied.

 

I shrugged my shoulders. “You know that you could already be a knight? You just have to accept a promotion.”

 

“That may be, but Master Vash once said that you know when you’re ready if you can teach what you’ve learned. I really don’t think I could do that at this point. I’d really like to learn more before then. However, that’s not the reason I came. He said that Master Vrook is going to pull through, so that’s one less thing for you to worry about.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“Yeah. Master Vandar will be arriving later today. It appears that Master Atris tried contacting him, but didn’t go to much effort trying again. Masters Kavar and Vash are still fighting off remnant Sith forces and not expected to return for a few days. They’ve been appraised of the situation, but need time to transfer command back to the Republic commanders before they can leave.”

 

“Wait, why are they leaving? The entire Council doesn’t have to be here to investigate this.”

 

“It’s not you. The Council wanted everyone in the Order to regroup once this war was over, but since an incident took place, everyone’s returning to the temple now.”

 

I nodded and sat back down. “Is that all?”

 

“That’s all the official business.” He sat down across from me.

 

He stared at me for a moment. “Are you planning to stay?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “As long as you would like. I think you would prefer company than not. If I had known at the time, I would’ve come by hours ago.”

 

“Well I’m not sure I have anything to do to pacify the time. If you have something worth your time, then you should go somewhere else. I’ll be fine.”

 

He shook his head. In that moment, I could feel anger seethe within him. It was likely the trauma he suffered during his time with the Sith. He might have been greatly comforted then had I been there... at least in not having been alone. The difference was that I was just imprisoned, I wasn’t going to be tortured. I knew I was going to get out soon, he didn’t know if he was going to get out alive. It made me feel a bit guilty in having him with me at such a time while I had not been there for him when it would have made all the difference for him.

 

When that anger passed, he looked to me again. “Is there anything you can teach me?”

 

“Depends, got anything in mind?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders again. “Tell me about how you ended up in here. I was told you faced Master Vrook and Zhar in a Force battle and won. What happened?”

 

For some reason, all that talk about only one High Council member being available; I was reminded of Master Zez Kai Ell. Of all the Jedi on the Council, he was the only one who revealed something that the others wanted to keep secret. According to him, I was capable of channeling both sides of the Force at a given time.

 

For most Jedi, the Force was like a spectrum where the greatest mastery came from the most extreme ends. Jedi who are seduced by the Darkside often don’t return because there was a period of transition when peace was easily disrupted by passion, yet selfless behavior detracted from the passion that fueled a Sith’s power. There was another catch; Jedi who’ve reached the extreme lightside became more prone to losing their peace than those closer to the inert, or gray range of the Force spectrum.

 

For example, Master Vrook had become absolutely intolerant of minor offenses or problems because he had been on the extreme lightside of the spectrum. For him, even a minor fit of rage would have been devastating to his sense of serenity. There was another catch as well; serenity for him often involved learning, teaching, and anything that revolved around thinking he knew better than anyone else. Although he probably did, when he was proven wrong... he looked like someone stuffed a lemon in his mouth.

 

When Zhar and Vrook tried to put me into a stasis trance, they both attempted to break my will by riveting me to the inert zone of the Force spectrum... the problem was that as they drove me to one end, it empowered me from the opposite side. As Zhar tried to disrupt my peace, my anger allowed me to fight back. As Vrook tried to calm my rage, serenity gave me focus.

 

When both attempted to restrain me on both sides, it should have shattered my concentration, but their combined efforts had the opposite effect of what was intended. Instead of being driven to the ‘inert’ region of the spectrum, it was as if both ends of the Force coalesced inside me. The result nearly doubled my potential power.

 

When I turned my attention back to Ross, I started telling him my side of the story when I heard the door hiss open and was surprised at who just entered. “Master Zez Kai Ell?”

 

“Master Yuthura Ban.”

 

“What?”

 

“I heard that you accepted an apprentice.” He looked to Ross as he approached. “When that happens, ‘master’ could be used, if unofficially.”

 

“Huh... I suppose that a Jedi who resigned wouldn’t be called ‘master’ either. I take it that this is not a social visit.”

 

He shook his head. “No. I heard what happened to Masters Vrook and Zhar and decided that under the circumstances, I was needed here.”

 

Ross stood up. “Excuse me. Who are you? How do you know each other?”

 

I answered. “Ross, this is Master Zez Kai Ell. Zez Kai Ell, Ross Senegal.”

 

“Glad to meet you. How do you two know each other?” Ross asked.

 

“It’s a long story; one that only your master should tell you. In the meantime, I’ve been temporarily reinstated as a member of the High Council for the duration of the current crisis.” He walked over to the cell control panel at tapped it. ”And as the ranking member of the Council, I decree that you are to be released unless convicting evidence is brought to light.” He tapped the panel and the force field dropped from around me.

 

Ross looked to him. “Wait, you’re a member of the High Council?”

 

“You’ve never heard of me?” He looked to me. “What have they been teaching students these days?” He turned back to Ross. “Anyway, yes I was... once. Master Zez Kai Ell. I had resigned five years ago, but they had not filled my position. I suppose that they expected me to just get over it and I’d come back.”

 

“Get over what?”

 

“I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to speak of it.” He leaned over to help me to my feet. “Master Zhar has regained consciousness. Both of us ruled that you are to be freed and he wanted you to go to the medical ward right away.”

 

I held my head. “Yeah, I need something for the migraine anyway. How did he take the news?”

 

“Well he and I were able to override Atris on your arrest, so that should mean something.” He looked to Ross. “However, this is not something that we want to be public. Would you please excuse us?”

 

Ross looked to me and I gestured him to not follow. “It’s alright. I’ll talk to you later. Oh, and if you see Alexus, tell her I’m sorry for injuring her master.”

 

He looked at me with a smirk. “Are you really?”

 

“If I could have, I wouldn’t have harmed anyone; but because they committed the first overt act, I have no guilt for my actions.”

 

He nodded at me with a little less ease and then to the master with the weird name. “Nice to meet you Master...”

 

“Zez Kai Ell. And you have a very... special master, Ross Senegal. You would do well to follow her lead.”

 

“Right.”

 

He placed his hand on my shoulder. “We should go.”

 

--------

 

As we walked through the temple towards the medical ward, my migraine had become more tolerable, so I was able to talk and pay attention to what he had to say. “So why are you really here?”

 

“I returned for two reasons. One is strictly business; the other is of a more personal nature.”

 

“Was it because of me?” I asked.

 

He tilted his head to his left shoulder. “It would be more accurate to say that it was because of you. Alfred contacted me shortly after what happened with Masters Vrook and Zhar. He told me that they attempted to tamper with Revan’s mind again.”

 

“Yes. He made it explicit that he did not want them to restrain his buried memories. When they tried to force it upon him... I would not let them.”

 

“Yes. I must say that I was surprised to hear that you, alone faced off against two Council members. I don’t think that even Master Kavar could face any other two with lightsabers or Master Vandar in a Force battle.”

 

“Isn’t that a bit of an overstatement? Just because an opponent could beat another or a number doesn’t mean she is more formidable than all of them combined. Master Kavar could probably face-off against three average Jedi knights, but if he were put up against twenty armed troops with blasters; odds are that the three would stand a better chance.”

 

He made a sound to express acknowledgment. “Maybe. However anyone who could challenge and overcome one Council member in a Force battle would give them reason to notice. One who could render the combined effort of two and emerge victorious must have a special gift.”

 

“She must.”

 

He crossed his arms and faced me as he kept walking alongside me. “I take it that you’ve started honing your other talents?”

 

“Other talents?” I asked.

 

“Yes. Have you exercised your abilities using passion or darkside powers through serenity?”

 

I gave him one of those looks as if to silently say ‘obviously not; how can you even ask?’ “I was under the impression that darkside abilities were explicitly forbidden; not to mention passion.”

 

He turned his head from facing me to looking ahead. “I take that as a ‘no.’”

 

“You know... I never really asked how you came to a conclusion about something I’ve never demonstrated. Why do you believe I can... that I have the ability to harness the Force in such a way?”

 

He nodded. “You have demonstrated it before. Alfred noticed that you were able to harness the Force through emotion, yet you maintained a strong tie to the ways of the Jedi. What words did he use...? He said you seemed to have a selfless devotion to the innocent.”

 

“Yeah, I hated people like my owner, Omeesh the Hutt. When Alfred started teaching me to use the Force, he told me everything that I wanted to hear while I was on Sleheyron.” I smiled. “It was comforting to know that what he did to his slaves... to me... that he was wrong and that there were forces that opposed such cruelty and injustice. I wanted nothing more than to be a part of that.”

 

“Well I hope you now see where strong emotion leads to. It is why the Jedi discourage anger, even if it is for a good intention.”

 

“I respectfully disagree. From the start, I wanted to use the Force to end slavery. I went to the Sith because they were the only others who could teach the Force to me. The Jedi seemed more interested in forgiveness than in dealing with the situation. That’s why I abandoned them all those years ago.”

 

“With all due respect, you don’t have much right to criticize our teachings as you chose to abandon the Sith. It was your good intention that lead you to that life in the first place and only when you chose to let go of those feelings that you are here.”

 

I shook my head. “I never let go. My anger and hatred for Omeesh and slavery will never be purged... that is how it should be. The difference is that I am redirecting those feelings where they belong... at those who commit injustices. Omeesh is dead, but my memories of Sleheyron will always remain. I no longer allow him to torment me because I know that I’ve become more powerful because of what he did and I will not stand for crimes such as his.”

 

Zez Kai Ell looked back to me for a few seconds before we reached the medical ward. As we entered, he opened the door for me... as if the door weren’t automatic and gestured me to go in first. Master Zhar was on a bed sitting up with a brace on his leg and various bruises and cuts along his arms and lekku. He appeared to have been drugged... probably painkillers. The nurse that I had injured a while back, Denise Rowe, had been checking him when he saw us enter. “Please, excuse us.”

 

She turned to see who he was gesturing to. “I’ll check on you later then.” When Zez Kai Ell and I went by, she quietly addressed me. “This place is meant to treat patients, not make more. Please try and remember that.”

 

I smiled. “I’ll try and remember that.”

 

“Oh, and could I speak with you after you’re finished with Master Zhar?”

 

“Of course.” I said.

 

While she and I were speaking, Zez Kai Ell had already gone to Zhar and started without me. I approached the wounded Master with my arms crossed to display my contempt for what he and Vrook attempted to do. “You summoned me?”

 

“The Force is stronger with you than I ever realized.” Zhar said.

 

“If you’re seeking an apology, you will not receive one from me.” I stated.

 

“We were trying to help Revan.”

 

“Revan did not want to have his memories restrained.”

 

“He needed our help...” Zhar said before I interrupted.

 

“You did not have the right! He is not your slave!”

 

Zez Kai Ell got between us. “Calm down. We are here to try and resolve this issue.”

 

“There is only one condition that I would accept. The issue with Revan’s memories must belong to Revan. You may not suppress the memories without his consent.” I declared.

 

He stared at me for a long moment before trying to dump guilt upon me. “I thought you cared for him.”

 

“I do. That is why I stopped you.”

 

“If you did, you would have known that Revan’s memories would change him and run the risk that he would become the Dark Lord again. I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe he would want that to happen.”

 

“No, I don’t believe he would.”

 

“Then the best thing would be for you to try and help us change his mind. He needs to...”

 

“I won’t do that.” I sternly declared.

 

I and Zhar stared at each other for another long moment as if realizing that there was going to be no compromise from either side on the issue. Zez Kai Ell broke the silence. “Look... I think that this is an issue that we, the Council, must resolve. Now that the majority of the Sith War is behind us, we can turn our attention to the issues that we left unresolved because of the war.”

 

“Revan was too dangerous in the first place. The Order has suffered greatly since the Mandalorian wars and we must turn our attention back to restoring both ourselves and the Republic. The last thing we need is to introduce a dangerous element, such as Revan, to all that.” Zhar answered. He then looked around, frustrated. “Where is Atris? Get her down here.” He gestured to me. “This is not for you to hear. Leave us.”

 

I frowned. “The hell it isn’t. I have my own quarrel with the Council. And I won’t let you force anything upon Revan.”

 

Zez Kai Ell turned to me. “We’ll get to that. I assure you that nothing will happen to Revan. For now, you should find somewhere to lay low. Only when the entire Council has assembled will we be able to address both issues. Will you please do that?”

 

I exhaled deeply and nodded. Before I turned away, I realized that I had no idea where Alfred or Revan were. When I did, Master Zhar said matter-of-factly that he was not on Coruscant. He asked if I knew anything about it, but since I had an airtight alibi; he was satisfied that I didn’t know where he had gone.

 

Before leaving, I checked back with Dr. Rowe, but after hearing what the masters were discussing, she simply said that she had a favor to ask of me, but that it could wait. Since I’d almost killed her, if only by accident, I insisted to hear what it was. Her reluctance to answer gave me some indication that it was a very sensitive matter. I reassured her that I still owed her for that incident way back.

 

---------

 

After that, I had met up with Alfred; who had been confined to his quarters. He said that I shouldn’t do another brash action so soon after attacking two Council members.

 

“I’ve been released. I assume that just because you can’t leave doesn’t mean I can’t come in.”

 

He shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘whatever’ and stepped out of the door to let me in. His quarters were not neat and tidy as I always remembered them to be for him. It seemed like he had been looking for something and torn apart everything for it.

 

He sat me at the table, but resumed his search. “Revan was determined to stay and help defend you, but I convinced him that he was the one at greater risk. He’s safely away now.”

 

“That’s good to know. ‘Master’ Zez Kai Ell is here.”

 

“I know. After Atris needlessly put you in a cell, I knew that someone else had to be here to put her in her place.”

 

I stood up and got beside him as he went through a footlocker. “What are you looking for?”

 

“Just a manuscript. It might have something that fits the present situation.”

 

“What do you mean?” I asked.

 

“It’s got a reference to an individual vs. society event. Right now, the Council justifies what they’re doing because they claim Revan is too dangerous to return. In what they’re doing, they sacrifice the rights of one for the benefit of many.”

 

A sat down on the floor with my back against the wall and beside the footlocker. “Where’ve I heard that before?”

 

“Tell me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Can you bring up a specific time when someone’s rights have been violated and a society suffered because of it?”

 

I gave him a blank look.

 

“Well I’ve got a book that addresses a Narayan governor who committed war crimes and was never charged for his actions. When the truth was out, his successor believed that it was better to just let the matter go and not to look back on the crimes. After that happened, there was a revolution. Although things changed for the better, it might have been averted had he been charged for his crimes.”

 

I sighed and leaned my head back against the wall. “What good would that do now? The Council believes their wisdom is absolute and anyone who says otherwise is their enemy. I mean look at what just happened. They coerce Revan into thinking the way they want him to and when someone stops them... everyone assumes that we are the villains.” I jumped to my feet in frustration. “They are the ones who trampled upon the Jedi code... why do the other Jedi still follow them?”

 

He grabbed the book he was looking for and tossed it aside as he went to put away his other things. “Well consider something... I know what you think about Master Vrook, but do you think he’s cruel just because he’s a sadist?”

 

“His belief in his own superiority is beyond arrogant. That is not the problem; the problem is that he applies his prejudice against the Dark side, other people’s opinions, and shifts blame away from himself and the Council. Even after all this time, they still believe it was Revan who caused the destruction of the worlds lost in the Mandalorian wars. They could name Dantooine, Taris, and Telos... they still blame him for both wars.”

 

He held onto my shoulders and guided me to a chair. Then he took a seat across the table. “Yuthura, there’s something I need to ask. You are aware that Revan was an evil man. If it had been him who you asked for mercy instead of Alex Trevelyan... Why would you want that part of him to resurface?”

 

I remained silent for a long moment as I, myself, tried to answer that question. I knew that I would have hated Revan, yet I could not just sit by and do nothing. I started wondering why I did it... was it because I believed Alex Trevelyan was an incomplete person without those real memories? Was I just angry at the Council? “Maybe it’s because Revan was his true identity all along. If he were seduced by the Darkside, then it means... it’s not a matter of if he could fall. Alex Trevelyan is an identity that shared much of what made Revan a unique individual. If Alex Trevelyan had lived his life... he had become the Dark Lord. It’s one thing to be cautious with someone who might fall, but it’s another to erase memories and start over again with someone who had already fallen. What if similar events happen and lead to the same outcome as before?”

 

“That’s an interesting point, but take into consideration that the one you know is true to the lightside. Letting those memories return may drive him to the fate we wish to avoid.” He gave me a very serious look. “Are you prepared for that outcome if it should happen?”

 

I thought I understood what was at stake, but after hearing the situation defined like that... I was not so sure that I made the right choice. I’ve never met Revan, but he had to have been everything opposite of the man I loved. I had assumed that the new experiences he received would have only enriched the person he was, but I never really considered that he could potentially become like the Dark Lord again.

 

More often than not, the greatest evils of the Galaxy spawned from the noblest of people and intentions... I knew that better than most. I could not answer ‘yes,’ but I put the idea in his head and knew that one way or another; he was going to change. I did not know if it would be Alex Trevelyan who recovered Revan’s memories, or if the memories would have dominated his identity and lead to the Dark Lord’s resurrection.

 

Either way, it had to be Trevelyan's choice... not the Council's.

 

------------

 

I was surprised at how significantly everyone reacted to the near loss of Master Vrook and Master Zhar. It was as if all activity normally found in the temple had been suspended. It was very uncomfortable for me to just wait, knowing that Revan’s fate had been decided behind closed doors yet again. Alfred assured me not to worry, but that was hard for me to do. My faith in Zez Kai Ell was not as solid as my master’s.

 

I finally got fed up with them and decided to go back to the medical ward. Whatever they were talking about; I wanted to hear it.

 

When I entered the room, ZKE and Atris were gathered around Master Zhar, as I expected. Bastila was among them as well; not surprising that she would have been a part of their little discussion. They appeared to be in an intense argument, but it all stopped when they saw me enter.

 

None of them said anything, but they looked at me as though to wait for me to state my business there. I held my head as though I still had a migraine as looked for any medical personnel, but the four of them were alone and didn’t want anyone to eavesdrop. I approached the group. “Where is everyone?”

 

Zhar addressed my question. ”We are having a private discussion here, Yuthura. What do you need?”

 

“A doctor would be nice.” I answered.

 

“Just a second.” Zhar reached for a control and pressed a ‘call’ button. A few seconds later, Dr. Rowe came through a sealed door and came for him. “Yuthura needs some assistance. Please see to her.”

 

She lead the way to a private surgical suite, probably not enthused about being in the same room with me again, so once we were out of earshot of the Masters and Bastila, I came clean. “There’s nothing wrong with me; I was hoping for a chance to hear what they were discussing. Is there any way to listen in on their conversation?”

 

She looked at me as though to silently say ‘How dare you ask such a thing?’ “They made it explicit that their meeting is to be treated as an official Council session. If Master Zhar were well enough to leave, they would be in the High Council Chamber right now.”

 

“An official meeting? Does that mean that it is being recorded?” I asked.

 

“I don’t know. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that.”

 

I got in front of her and gently held her from walking away. “Please... if you have a favor to ask of me, I’ll make it my first priority. You don’t have to do anything... just tell me where to start.”

 

She looked at me as if she had no choice. I suppose that I would have always intimidated her, but that fear worked in my favor. “There is a microphone with every medical bed in the ward. We use them to monitor patients, but they could be used to overhear a conversation.” She started walking away, but whispered one last thing. “You’d have to hack into one of our computer consoles to do that. What I said is public knowledge... I have no involvement in this.”

 

“Of course. Thank-you.”

 

She looked at me as if she knew I was up to no good, but turned away to avoid being associated with whatever I did. I didn’t want to add more on her shoulders, but I needed to hear what those four were discussing and she told me exactly what I needed to know.

 

When I found a secluded area with a computer station, I made haste as I accessed the various functions throughout the medical ward. It wasn’t so much that I expected something vital as I was anxious of what they had planned. I never would have expected something so outrageous as what Vrook and Zhar tried to do that I felt I had the right to know their intentions.

 

When I finally got control of the audio functions, I cycled through until I found the microphone over Zhar’s bed. I first heard Bastila’s voice “...too dangerous. I know how it sounds, but we cannot forget that Revan would have died had you not intervened. Even after discovering who he was, he seemed to accept the truth much better than I would have hoped. It’s ultimately in his best interests... and ours. This isn’t like it was then; the few memories he’s already regained trouble him greatly. The more memories that return, the harder it would be for him to turn back.”

 

Zhar entered the discussion. “And what would we have then? The Dark Lord of the Sith was far more powerful than the individual we made him to be. He may already have been overtaken by Revan and that would explain why his judgment is impaired.”

 

“No, it doesn’t!” Atris barked. “It’s that damned Sith!”

 

ZKE defended me. “You’re allowing your prejudice to get in the way, Atris. What you and Master Vrook attempted to force upon Revan... I would have done exactly the same.”

 

Bastila interrupted. “Actually... Master Atris’ concern over Yuthura is valid.”

 

A moment elapsed as I braced myself to not get angry at what she intended to reveal.

 

Zhar ended the silence. “Bastila... do you have something to say?”

 

She sighed. “She and Revan... Alex... they have an intimate relationship.”

 

Upon hearing those words, I turned away from the panel and clenched my fists, knuckles cracking under the tension. As much as I wanted to curse, I focused my energy into keeping myself silent. I may have been in a private room, but I wasn’t exactly invited to eavesdrop on the conversation.

 

Zhar, almost surprised, eagerly asked “How long?”

 

I heard her heavy breathing over the intercom as she hesitated to answer. “Two months.”

 

Atris confronted her. “You’ve known about this for two months... and it didn’t occur to you to inform us? You could have prevented all this you foolish...”

 

“Enough!” Zhar ordered. “Whatever’s happened, we need to find Revan and bring him back.”

 

ZKE stopped him. “You can’t force him to return, even if you knew where he went. If you want him to return, he must do so willingly.”

 

Zhar sighed in frustration. “Fine. I’ll contact him now and say that we will allow the memories to resurface if that is what he wants. If his closest friends could also assure him that we will respect his choice, that might be enough.”

 

ZKE sounded surprised. “Are you serious? You would do that?”

 

“No. Allowing Revan’s memories to return is out of the question. There is nothing that would convince us otherwise. If you wish to reveal to the rest of the Order what we had done, you may do so... but you know what the consequences would be.”

 

Atris added onto that. “I also doubt that you would want Revan to resign from the Order again. If he does, it would bring about yet another conflict that the Republic doesn’t need.”

 

Bastila also added her concern. “Alex Trevelyan is a person as well. What the Council did was criminal, but you know that much more will be at risk if those memories return. It is more important to save Alex Trevelyan than risk letting him revert to his old self.”

 

Silence came and I realized that ZKE had failed at whatever he intended to accomplish. I deactivated the console and went for the door to the main medical ward. I didn’t care what ZKE had been trying to accomplish, but I was determined to stop them.

 

“Yuthura, this is a private...”

 

I confronted all of them. “Fascists! All of you!”

 

Atris turned around to face ZKE. “That’s why I wanted her in a cell. She heard everything!”

 

Bastila tried to speak, but I stopped her. “Shut up, whelp! You three are worse than any Sith! At least they have the courage to let their enemies know they are conquered. You defiled everything the Jedi stand for when you changed Revan. He is not your slave anymore. Yes, I said ‘slave’ as you took more than his life.” I confronted Atris, who’s anger was very apparent. My lightsaber that she confiscated earlier still had not been returned to me. I extended my hand to take the weapon back. “My lightsaber... give it to me.”

 

She scoffed. “Do you think I’d give it to you if I still had it?” She shook her head. “It is safe. You’ll get it back when I believe it is safe to give it to you.”

 

I still had my carbon fiber and thermoplastic saber in a pocket under my cloak and had the urge to use it. With the Force, I took Atris’ weapon from her belt and suspended it in the air a fraction of a second before my blade made contact with it. The two fragments then clattered to the floor.

 

Atris looked like she wanted to strangle me, but I held the blade right in front and she knew enough to stay away. Everyone else in the room had been stunned at what I just did. Bastila had her saberstaff in hand, but didn’t activate the blades. When she saw I didn't intend to kill anyone, I disengaged my saber and put it away. “If this is what it means to be a Jedi... I choose not to be a Jedi.”

 

I turned to leave the room and never looked back.

[JediAthos]

So, as I mentioned, I went back and read everything again. As I've said before I think that you have a fantastic writing style. The story with Ross and his sister was a nice addition to the main plot and the conflict between Yuthura and the Jedi Council is very well done.

 

I also think that in addition to telling a very powerful story you make some very valid points about life in general.

 

I really don't find anything to take issue with here beyond trivial things that you already know about. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I enjoy this story and will continue to look for more.

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

This is certainly twist! Yuthura is leaving the jedi order! I liked this chapter because it showed the true hypocracy of the Council. I think you have explored some themes that can be applied to our own world. This chapter reinforces all of my ill feelings toward the Council. I felt like decking Atris for her blatant arrogance. You really got my blood boiling - nice emotional pull.

 

This could be the chapter that changes everything...

 

Great work in this chapter and the fic as a whole. Wonder what will happen to Ross with Yuthura gone...

 

~HOP

[Darth_Yuthura]

Thanks. Glad to know that I take my readers into really thinking so little of the Council because I've had something ready for the next two chapters, but then lost them due to a program error. I've been frustrated trying to rewrite them, but then came up with a better idea than what I originally had.

 

Since they are not going to be rewritten, I had intended for Revan to be severely injured and Yuthura believes he was dead. Ross happened to be in a position where he could save him, but she tells him that it would be suicide for him to go in. He defied her and for an intense moment, she seriously believed she lost them both. Alexus was with them as well and had to force Yuthura to get a hold on herself; that if Ross needed them, they had to be ready. When Ross came back with Revan, they both had suffered terrible injuries and had to dock w/a republic ship... ultimately taking them back to Coruscant. Afterwards, Yuthura realizes just how debilitated she had been when she thought she lost Revan. She had been so attached to Revan, but thought she was above the fear of losing him. When Revan was thought lost, she had been more concerned with losing Ross that she panicked and didn't want to lose him as well. Even after they both recover, she realized how vulnerable she really was when she opened her heart to others.

 

To this point, Yuthura hadn't been a Jedi; but realizes that if she had hardened herself from attachments, she wouldn't have been so vulnerable to loss. This sort of sets her back and shows readers that some of the strengths I gave her proved to make her vulnerable. What I have in mind now isn't as oriented for moral ambiguity, but really shifts the plot towards the events leading to The Sith Lords.

[Kado Sunrider]

I've never commented on this before, but I've read every chapter many times and look forward to every new installment. Keep up the good work DU, and may the force be with you!

[Darth_Yuthura]

It has been a long time since this has been updated, but I think that I've finally decided on a proper way to eventually end this story. That's still a ways off, but I need to introduce some elements at this point in order for the present story arc to properly manifest itself before that time.

 

For those who have read my other fictions as well, I have not killed off any major characters at all. That is not going to be something I intend to maintain indefinitely. I won't foreshadow anything, but aware that I am not going to always maintain this style where everything ultimately works out. I may go so far as to have a situation come up where it is Yuthura... not the Council who are wrong.

 

Anyway, I will start this off again. Hope you enjoy and thanks for the wait. There is more in progress, but not ready to publish, so this isn't a month's worth of waiting right here... just a refresh.

 

------

 

I meant what I said when I turned my back on the Jedi. I had been so angry at how Master Zhar wouldn’t accept anything other than restraining Revan’s memories indefinitely. It wasn’t a death sentence, but it followed a worse moral ambiguity than an execution.

 

The Council were regarded as the wisest and greatest of the Order, but I could not stand for their crime against Revan. It shocked me to the core of how they trampled upon everything that I most valued so callously. They wanted Revan as their slave, which was worse than killing him. It was as though they wanted to exploit everything from him and extract his very essence before throwing him away. I could not defeat them, so my hope was to ensure that they could never have him again.

 

Before I departed, I spoke with Ross and told him of my predicament and explained to him why I needed to leave. I didn’t expect him to be all too ready to follow suite, despite my advice. I strongly encouraged him not to resign because of me, but when I told him about the High Council’s crime... his faith was shaken.

 

Alfred took the news better than he did five years ago. I think that this time, he knew I was doing it for a cause that I truly believed in. In addition, I had every expectation to return after the Council acknowledged its guilt and accepted that they cannot force their treatment on Revan. He didn’t exactly shoo me out the hatch, but didn’t encourage me to leave.

 

“Yuthura, there’s something that I must know: did you return to the Order because of him?”

 

I pitched my head to one side at hearing a question with such an obvious answer. “Of course. What other reason could you possibly believe I would have come back? I had not known about the star Forge. It wasn’t until after he came for me that I knew the Sith were on the verge of collapse.”

 

He gave me a much sterner expression. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

 

I crossed my arms, almost defiantly. “It’s not like that... I mean... It is, but that’s not why I’m doing this. What the Council did to Revan in the first place was unacceptable... and they intend to do it yet again.”

 

He looked at me with grim expression. “You know that it was because of their action that you are here now?”

 

I never really did consider that it was because the Council altered Darth Revan’s mind that Alex Trevelyan ever existed. Had it not been for what they did, I would likely have died on Korriban long ago. I couldn’t ignore that something really significant came from their crime, but that still didn’t give them the right to disregard his rights. I shook my head. “The ends don’t justify the means. They scorned the Revan when he sacrificed worlds in order to reinforce others during the Mandalorian Wars, yet they did the same damn thing. If they intend to continue forcing their judgment upon others against their will, then I don’t want any part of it. If they want me back, then they must accept his decision. If they intend to push the matter further, I will find Trevelyan first and defend him.”

 

He sighed and pulled out the chair from behind his desk and sat in it as he gave his last words to me. “I really don’t know where he is. I simply instructed him to take his ship and hide, but not to give away his location. I’m sorry if I don’t jump at the chance to help you, but I’m not ready to leave the Order over this. I helped Revan to leave, but if the Council makes a judgment to a member of the Order; it must be followed.”

 

I couldn’t help but wonder how he could justify what he just said. “Didn’t you try to stop Zhar and Vrook just yesterday? Wouldn’t that constitute insubordination?”

 

He turned his attention to the data pad on his desk and just went about business as usual. “I don’t think that Revan had been given that offer. If he didn’t want his mind altered, then he deserved a chance to leave the Order. That’s why I intervened on his behalf, but I won’t do anymore than that.”

 

I got on the opposite side of the desk and waited until his eyes were back on me. “Alfred, don’t you feel the least bit offended at what they did?”

 

He sighed and lowered the pad completely from his sight. “Whether I agree with the Council or not is irrelevant. They are the ones who have supreme command over the Order. They have supreme authority and Revan had to either accept their decision, or resign from the Order. The only other option is for the Council to accept his decision.”

 

When he brought up the pad to resume his reading, I grabbed it and set it on the table to ensure his undivided attention was on me. “None of those outcomes are going to happen. If Revan refuses to rejoin the Order, odds are that they will have him hunted down and brought back. What happens then? If they declare Revan a threat, would you accept their judgment when they force their... treatment on him?”

 

He went into deep thought for a long moment before taking the data pad off the table and handing it to me. “Here. This has various documents on Revan during the Mandalorian Wars told by people who witnessed his deeds firsthand. Maybe once you’ve read through some, you may realize exactly who the Dark Lord really was. This may give you some perspective as to why the thought of Revan’s return makes the Council quiver.”

 

I looked at the text on the pad, but little could be determined by that one page. I logged back to see a few dozen selections were stored on the device. “Are you... saying that what they did was right?”

 

“I’m trying to see both sides of this issue. And it’s not like they are... altering the man you know; they are simply keeping Revan’s memories from resurfacing further.”

 

I scoffed and turned away, trying to comprehend how even Alfred could suggest that what they did was acceptable. I put the pad in my pocket, but looked him directly in the eye again. “It is him, Alex Trevelyan, who doesn’t want those memories repressed. They are his to do with as he chooses, not theirs. If they believe it is their right, then they might as well say they have the right to eliminate any and all threats. War lords, Hutts, slavers... not bring them to justice... kill them! Because they know that certain individuals won’t change their ways and imprisoning them all is impossible, but because they will cause injustices to so many during their lifetime. This goes too far. Jedi do not execute or enslave prisoners, but what they propose tramples upon everything that they... that we stand for. You need to decide for yourself where your loyalties lie... to the chain of command, or the principles of the Jedi. If you choose to support those values, you would not be betraying the Council... they will have already betrayed you and all other Jedi in the Order.”

 

-----

 

Upon those words, I felt it was best for me to leave. Alfred was devoted to the Order and the Council, but when they were in conflict; he had to decide which was more important. I also couldn’t help but remember what I did five years ago and realize that I was not one to talk about loyalty or betrayal. Trust was hard to earn, but easy to lose... and I still had a long way to go before I could rightfully speak of such things.

 

In the end, I think I only left Alfred with some assurance that I hadn’t gone against the Order again out of rage, but to protect something I truly believed in. What exactly... I guess I really didn’t know, but it was there.

[JediAthos]

A nice update DY. It seems that Yuthura has begun to question her own actions or at least why she's doing what she's doing, and I wonder if reading about Revan's actions will perhaps change her mind.

[knight 12167]

I throughly enjoy this.Please continue

[Darth_Yuthura]

Well it's been over a year since this started being posted on Lucasforums. I didn't expect it to go on like it had when I submitted my first chapters. Anyway, here is chapter 53 at long last. Thanks to everyone for reading.

 

-------

 

I meant what I said when I turned my back on the Jedi. I had been so angry at how Master Zhar wouldn’t accept anything other than restraining Revan’s memories indefinitely. It wasn’t a death sentence, but it followed a worse moral ambiguity than an execution.

 

The Council were regarded as the wisest and greatest of the Order, but I could not stand for their crime against Revan. It shocked me to the core of how they trampled upon everything that I most valued so callously. They wanted Revan as their slave, which was worse than killing him. It was as though they wanted to exploit everything from him and extract his very essence before throwing him away. I could not defeat them, so my hope was to ensure that they could never have him again.

 

Before I departed, I spoke with Ross and told him of my predicament and explained to him why I needed to leave. I didn’t expect him to be all too ready to follow suite, despite my advice. I strongly encouraged him not to resign because of me, but when I told him about the High Council’s crime... his faith was shaken.

 

Alfred took the news better than he did five years ago. I think that this time, he knew I was doing it for a cause that I truly believed in. In addition, I had every expectation to return after the Council acknowledged its guilt and accepted that they cannot force their treatment on Revan. He didn’t exactly shoo me out the hatch, but didn’t encourage me to leave.

 

“Yuthura, there’s something that I must know: did you return to the Order because of him?”

 

I pitched my head to one side at hearing a question with such an obvious answer. “Of course. What other reason could you possibly believe I would have come back? I had not known about the star Forge. It wasn’t until after he came for me that I knew the Sith were on the verge of collapse.”

 

He gave me a much sterner expression. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

 

I crossed my arms, almost defiantly. “It’s not like that... I mean... It is, but that’s not why I’m doing this. What the Council did to Revan in the first place was unacceptable... and they intend to do it yet again.”

 

He looked at me with grim expression. “You know that it was because of their action that you are here now?”

 

I never really did consider that it was because the Council altered Darth Revan’s mind that Alex Trevelyan ever existed. Had it not been for what they did, I would likely have died on Korriban long ago. I couldn’t ignore that something really significant came from their crime, but that still didn’t give them the right to disregard his rights. I shook my head. “The ends don’t justify the means. They scorned the Revan when he sacrificed worlds in order to reinforce others during the Mandalorian Wars, yet they did the same damn thing. If they intend to continue forcing their judgment upon others against their will, then I don’t want any part of it. If they want me back, then they must accept his decision. If they intend to push the matter further, I will find Trevelyan first and defend him.”

 

He sighed and pulled out the chair from behind his desk and sat in it as he gave his last words to me. “I really don’t know where he is. I simply instructed him to take his ship and hide, but not to give away his location. I’m sorry if I don’t jump at the chance to help you, but I’m not ready to leave the Order over this. I helped Revan to leave, but if the Council makes a judgment to a member of the Order; it must be followed.”

 

I couldn’t help but wonder how he could justify what he just said. “Didn’t you try to stop Zhar and Vrook just yesterday? Wouldn’t that constitute insubordination?”

 

He turned his attention to the data pad on his desk and just went about business as usual. “I don’t think that Revan had been given that offer. If he didn’t want his mind altered, then he deserved a chance to leave the Order. That’s why I intervened on his behalf, but I won’t do anymore than that.”

 

I got on the opposite side of the desk and waited until his eyes were back on me. “Alfred, don’t you feel the least bit offended at what they did?”

 

He sighed and lowered the pad completely from his sight. “Whether I agree with the Council or not is irrelevant. They are the ones who have supreme command over the Order. They have supreme authority and Revan had to either accept their decision, or resign from the Order. The only other option is for the Council to accept his decision.”

 

When he brought up the pad to resume his reading, I grabbed it and set it on the table to ensure his undivided attention was on me. “None of those outcomes are going to happen. If Revan refuses to rejoin the Order, odds are that they will have him hunted down and brought back. What happens then? If they declare Revan a threat, would you accept their judgment when they force their... treatment on him?”

 

He went into deep thought for a long moment before taking the data pad off the table and handing it to me. “Here. This has various documents on Revan during the Mandalorian Wars told by people who witnessed his deeds firsthand. Maybe once you’ve read through some, you may realize exactly who the Dark Lord really was. This may give you some perspective as to why the thought of Revan’s return makes the Council quiver.”

 

I looked at the text on the pad, but little could be determined by that one page. I logged back to see a few dozen selections were stored on the device. “Are you... saying that what they did was right?”

 

“I’m trying to see both sides of this issue. And it’s not like they are... altering the man you know; they are simply keeping Revan’s memories from resurfacing further.”

 

I scoffed and turned away, trying to comprehend how even Alfred could suggest that what they did was acceptable. I put the pad in my pocket, but looked him directly in the eye again. “It is him, Alex Trevelyan, who doesn’t want those memories repressed. They are his to do with as he chooses, not theirs. If they believe it is their right, then they might as well say they have the right to eliminate any and all threats. War lords, Hutts, slavers... not bring them to justice... kill them! Because they know that certain individuals won’t change their ways and imprisoning them all is impossible, but because they will cause injustices to so many during their lifetime. This goes too far. Jedi do not execute or enslave prisoners, but what they propose tramples upon everything that they... that we stand for. You need to decide for yourself where your loyalties lie... to the chain of command, or the principles of the Jedi. If you choose to support those values, you would not be betraying the Council... they will have already betrayed you and all other Jedi in the Order.”

 

-----

 

Upon those words, I felt it was best for me to leave. Alfred was devoted to the Order and the Council, but when they were in conflict; he had to decide which was more important. I also couldn’t help but remember what I did five years ago and realize that I was not one to talk about loyalty or betrayal. Trust was hard to earn, but easy to lose... and I still had a long way to go before I could rightfully speak of such things.

 

In the end, I think I only left Alfred with some assurance that I hadn’t gone against the Order again out of rage, but to protect something I truly believed in. What exactly... I guess I really didn’t know, but it was there.

 

-----

 

I had met up with Ross in the Temple’s hanger shortly after that, but he brought someone with him. At first, I thought Alastria... that was her name again... had come to let me know how much she appreciated me assaulting her master. Instead, she seemed interested in joining us.

 

“This is not just a trip; we’re leaving the Order. If Ross reconsiders, he could at least say that he was just following me, but you would have no justification if you came along. I don’t think you would wish to leave so soon after your return.”

 

“Yesh, yeah.” She replied.

 

I didn’t understand how she could just disregard her future like that. After all I went through for her, I couldn’t help feeling offended that she would have just abandoned the Order so easily. “So is that it? Both of you are just going to abandon everything that you’ve worked for all your lives?”

 

Alastria just shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just coming along for the ride. I’ve not been allowed to leave the Temple and I’m not sure you even know where to look for Revan. Besides, I would like to see exactly what you’ve been teaching him.” she gestured to her brother.

 

Ross didn’t look at her directly as he explained that I had only been his master for a matter of three weeks.

 

She then looked as though to study what seemed so remarkable about me. “Well considering that you tried to kill my master, I don’t want him to blame me for just letting you go. Someone has to keep track of both of you.”

 

I couldn’t keep back a smile. “In that case... welcome aboard. I guess that you can always say that you came to watch out for Ross... not that you were leaving the Order.”

 

“No, you can keep him. I’ve done more for him than I was ever obligated.” Then she just walked off and went through the open hatch of the closest ship.

 

Ross was hurt by what she just said, but only because he didn’t yet know about what she did for him after she had been left to take care of him on Serocco. I looked back to him and softly explained what was going on. “She’s been with the Sith a long time. If she is difficult to deal with, just try and tolerate it. Her attitude will gradually change.”

 

“What did she mean by that? I thought that she wanted to come along so we could spend some time with one another.” He sighed and looked towards the open hatch. “She doesn’t want to talk to me and when I try to speak to her, Alastria only says what’s minimally necessary. She just... doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

 

“Just give her some time. Her world is upside-down right now and it will take time for to adapt. The best thing is to just let her proceed at her own pace.” I patted his shoulder and followed her into the ship. “In the meantime, let’s get going.”

 

It was surprising just how easy it was to take a ship from the Temple’s hanger. Just about anyone with the rank of padawan could get passed security and any ship was up for grabs. Given that I had insulted and harassed the Council members present, I didn’t really ask for authorization to use a ship. Ross happened to notice. “Yuthura... if you’ve resigned from the Order... isn’t this stealing?”

 

Alexus replied, annoyed. “Oh please. Of course it’s stealing.”

 

I stared at one sibling who really had a problem with it and one who really didn’t seem to care one way or another. I looked to Ross. “I have every intent to return this vessel afterward. If it bothers you, then you don’t have to come along. If you want to stay behind...”

 

“No. I can just imagine three sith packed in the same ship. Someone needs to make sure you don’t kill each other.” he replied.

 

Alastria laughed out loud. Although it wasn’t the kind of laugh you hear after a really good joke, it was a pleasant thing to hear from one as somber as her. A short takeoff later, and one of them finally asked the question. “So where exactly are we going?”

 

“Dantooine. That’s the most logical place Revan would go at a time like this.”

 

Alastria didn’t turn her head. “He’s not on Dantooine.”

 

I turned my seat completely around to face her directly. “And how would you happen to know that?”

 

She didn’t make eye contact with me. “The Council has a contact on Dantooine. If Revan had showed up, he would have alerted them as to his whereabouts.”

 

“And how would you know about that?” I asked in a fairly intimidating manner.

 

She then looked me in the eye. “I’m close to a Council member. I know many things.”

 

I sat back and crossed my arms in a relaxing way. “Well then... should I assume you also know where we should head to?”

 

“No, I had been under the impression that you knew exactly where he was. If this is just going to be several days in hyperspace with no idea where we’re going, I have no interest in coming along.”

 

I leaned my head back and sighed in frustration. “I didn’t ask either of you to come along. That is part of the reason why. I’m going to be looking for Revan and I’ll eventually find him. However, I don’t know exactly where he is. If you don’t want to sit around in this cramped space for what will likely be days, then you should not accompany me.”

 

Before I could start the launch preparations, Ross held back my wrist from the control panel. “Maybe this isn’t the best course of action. Have you even heard back from Revan?”

 

After a painfully long moment, I answered. “No.”

 

“Do you see any reason why you should try to find him? If he’s gone somewhere to hide, do you really expect that you will find him?”

 

When he presented that question, I knew that he was right. He hadn’t left any indication as to where he had gone and hasn’t made contact with me or anyone. What could I possibly have hoped to accomplish by just dropping everything and heading after him? I pulled my hand away and stood up. “I still can’t remain here; I’ve resigned from the Order.” I gestured to Ross. “But I don’t want you to come with me. I think it would be best for you to remain with the Order. If you should leave, it should be for your own reasons, not mine.”

 

Suddenly, the massive hanger doors began to slide open. I turned around and saw an incoming ship approaching the Temple. I didn’t exactly have to identify the ship to know who was on board. “That must be Master Vandar’s vessel. He was scheduled to return at about this time.”

 

“So now what?” Ross asked.

 

I faced both him and Alastria. “I suppose that Vandar deserves an explanation from me, personally. After that, I’ll just leave this place quietly. I won’t steal anything.”

 

I turned around and stepped off the ship, leaving them behind. I heard them talking after I had gone, but I couldn’t hear what they said. I walked towards the ship as it landed and a moment after its engines powered down, Master Vandar left the ship, followed by another Jedi. I stood in a location where Vandar would have had to go out of his way to approach me. I didn’t exactly want to stand in his way... rather I wanted him to see me so that he could speak to me if he wanted to. If he didn’t, he could have just gone by without having to ignore me.

 

Of course, he did turn for me and approached. It might have been more polite for me to walk to him at that point, but I just planted myself there and let him walk the entire twenty-meter distance between us. For one as small as him, it took a long time for him to eventually close that distance; but he held his hands behind his back and spoke to me in the same pleasant voice he always used. “I’ve just been told a very disturbing series of recent events. I think you should come with me. We have much to discuss.”

 

“How recent are you talking about?”

 

He turned to the hanger’s entrance into the temple and gestured me to come along. “I was told that you and Atris have had another confrontation.”

 

I turned and kept at his side as he proceeded into the temple. It was rather difficult to do keep pace with him, as he walked very slowly in comparison to one my size; but obviously it was I who had to follow him. I looked over my shoulder and saw Ross and Alastria were there to follow as well.

 

When they came along, Vandar’s escort noticed. “Master?”

 

He turned about and address them. “Padawan, this is a matter that we’d prefer you not be involved in. Please leave us.” Then he faced his escort. “You too, Fulvio.”

 

Fulvio bowed to Vandar. “I’ll take my leave now, Master.”

 

Ross just bowed, but didn’t say any parting words.

 

Vandar then looked back to Alastria. “I’ve also been told that Master Vrook has just regained consciousness. If you wish to see him, you should go on ahead. After that, we’ll be needing him.”

 

She didn’t say anything either, nor did she even bow. Alastria just nodded her head one time, went on ahead, and softly muttered without making eye contact with me. “Thanks for the... interesting trip. Call me again.”

 

As she moved on ahead and eventually out of sight, I turned my attention back to Vandar. “Did you know her from times before she became a Sith?”

 

“I’ve instructed Alastria from time to time on Dantooine, but she mostly kept to herself during her training. Did Ross tell you of the circumstances of how she was accepted into the Order?”

 

“She did.”

 

“She was... much like you when she was accepted. But where you and Master Kolchak had already been aquatinted, she was alone and closed herself off from everyone around her.”

 

I made a sound to indicate interest. “How did she and Master Vrook get paired up?”

 

“I think Master Vrook understood what she had gone through and believed that the only way she would open herself to another was by starting her training before she was ready. His hope was that instead of reaching out to her, she would come to him. I don’t know for certain, but Lamar claims he became her master at Alastria’s request.”

 

I made an interested hum, but it came off more as a depressed exhale. “How have they gotten along since her return? I haven’t really seen her much since she returned.”

 

Vandar smiled. “Neither have I, but I have noticed Master Vrook has been in much higher spirit. I would assume things must be going well for them. However, we’ve got a more pressing issue at the moment. Master Atris said you spied on a private Council session... and that when you were caught, you destroyed her lightsaber.”

 

I stopped there and waited for Master Vandar to turn around to face me. “I was NOT caught. I confronted them when Zhar said that he would not agree to any compromise which didn’t involve wiping Revan’s mind again. I could not stand for that.”

 

He put his hands on his hips. “You have committed some very serious acts, Yuthura. Your assault against Masters Vrook and Zhar should have resulted in severe sanctions...”

 

“Revan did NOT want to have his mind tampered with. They tried to force it upon him. When I intervened, they wouldn’t yield. They committed the first overt act... therefore, I have no guilt of my actions.”

 

He folded his arms and went into deep thought. “When we found him, Revan’s mind had been severely damaged, but we did not know to what extent. We created a new identity for him, believing that what was left of the Dark Lord’s mind would have integrated itself with Alex Trevelyan. We eventually realized that the scattered fragments of Revan’s personality may have been enough to form a dissociative identity.”

 

My jaw dropped at what I heard. “He has a split-personality?”

 

“Not exactly. Revan suffered severe brain damage. Even if we never created a new identity for him, whatever was left of his last identity was... volatile. In order to protect Alex Trevelyan, we decided that the best course of action was to suppress those memories.”

 

I stared at him for a long moment, considering what was said compared to what I’ve seen of him. “You said that he had an alternate identity? If that were so, then there would have been no change to Alex Trevelyan’s personality. He has noticed a difference when old memories resurfaced, so you could integrate the two personalities. Haven’t you attempted to integrate the two personalities?”

 

He continued moving along. “There was no telling what would happen if we attempted to integrate potentially very dangerous memories with Trevelyan’s personality. It’s possible that what’s left of the Dark Lord’s personality would take over.”

 

“Possible?”

 

“Look, this is something that shouldn’t be made public. We are going to have a meeting in the medical ward to discuss your conduct in the last day and a half and then, after that has been cleared up, we will discuss what to do about Revan.”

 

I knew that when he said ‘we,’ he meant the Council; but I didn’t bring that up. I didn’t want to challenge his position right then and there. I needed to see how this played out before I could take any kind of action. Either way, he still had questions for me. “Master Zez Kai Ell said that Atris rushed to judgment on you, but that he intervened on your behalf. You had no excuse for destroying her lightsaber.”

 

“She stole mine and refused to return it! She accused me of being responsible for Revan... it was ‘that damned Sith,’ she said. If your intent is to throw me in a cell again...!”

 

He turned around and showed me the palms of his hands to gesture me to calm down. “Please! Please calm down. Master Zez Kai Ell supports you on this... that Atris has her own misconduct to answer for. We are not interested in punishing you; we just want to deal with this conflict before it gets even more out of hand.”

 

I sighed. “I’ll go along with this for now, but if Atris provokes me; she had better watch out.”

 

“If Atris says or implies anything provocative to you, I will deal with the matter. I know your feelings for each other and they will not influence our judgment... that goes for both of you.”

 

He turned around again to continue on his way for the medical ward. I had little confidence in the outcome, but I had been more interested in their deliberations in regards to Revan than for me.

 

-------

 

When we reached the ward, he insisted that to go in first; but that didn’t keep Atris from complaining at the first sight of me. “We have more pressing issues to deal with. If she wants to leave, just let her.”

 

“Enough, Atris. We’re addressing this matter now because you escalated the issue in the first place.” Vandar declared.

 

Master Zez Kai Ell approached him and presented a very pleasant smile before kneeling and embracing the little master. “It’s good to see you again. It’s been almost... five years ago.”

 

A moment after I backed away, I felt a hand upon my shoulder and turned to find Alfred had been invited as well. He embraced me for some reason and quickly let go. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you again. I didn’t think that after all those years, you’d ever come back.”

 

I realized that he had just been making a joke and played along. “What? No tears this time?”

 

“I know how much you don’t want that, so I won’t embarrass you.”

 

I smiled before looking to who else had been in the room. Masters Zhar and Vrook were in medical beds. Alastria had been speaking with her master and Bastila had huddled in a corner, away from everyone else.

 

I looked back to my master and gestured to the others. “Why are you here? What’s this about?”

 

“This is an official Council meeting to discuss... recent events. I was a part of that as well.” His expression became more serious. “I wish you wouldn’t provoke others when you don’t have to. You would have had their sympathy before, but you threw it away. If you are sanctioned for doing the wrong thing, you’ll deserve what you get.”

 

“What they did was wrong...”

 

“No, I mean for the second incident between you and Atris. That was uncalled for. I’ll support you because you were defending Revan, but nothing beyond that. Is that clear?”

 

I felt as though I had been struck down and shrunk away from his presence. I actually wanted to see how Vrook and Alastria got along with each other, so I took a place where I could overhear their conversation without being involved. It seemed strange to see Vrook or Alastria smile... especially while they interacted with one another.

 

Vrook had been in bed and held one of her hands before saying some encouraging words. “Typical... acting before thinking. I’m sure that you’ve learned that lesson a long time ago.”

 

“I had to. The Sith didn’t tolerate mistakes.” She inhaled deeply, almost too embarrassed to admit her next words. “I never really appreciated why you were so hard on me, but now that I look back... you taught me some of life’s most valuable lessons. Sure enough, if I didn’t correct for my deficiencies; others would have exploited them.”

 

He smiled and rubbed the side of her face. “That’s a hard lesson for some to learn. It’s difficult to look ourselves in the mirror and recognize our own weaknesses, but those who do are the first to act on them.”

 

She gently pulled his hand away and placed it at his side. I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell she had been very saddened. “I wouldn’t give myself that much credit. There was one weakness that I could exploit from all Sith... they all sought power and I didn’t.”

 

“Power didn’t interest you?”

 

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

 

He leaned up to a sitting position and spoke to the one in the bed next to him. “Master Zhar... did you hear that? Alastria isn’t interested in power. There may be hope for her yet!” Then he chuckled and laid back down.

 

What Vrook said frustrated me greatly. He never really recognized that I had no interest in power when I returned to the Order, but he so proudly praised his padawan for having nothing worth fighting for. As much as I wanted to make my feelings known, I just sighed in disgust and raised my voice to address everyone there. “Can we just start this damn meeting?! I’m past caring at this point!”

 

Everyone in that room turned their focus on me, most seemed just irritated at my whining. Alfred grabbed my shoulders and pulled me away as if I were a child, but I twisted my way out of his grasp and faced him. “I’m not a padawan anymore, Alfred! What I do here, I’m responsible for. Please... don’t make me fight you as well.”

 

Master Zez Kai Ell approached from my right side. “Yuthura, please calm down. I know you’re angry, but if you would just remain patient a little while longer; we’ll address your concerns.” He looked to the others. “As Master Vrook and Master Zhar are confined to bed for the next few days, we are going to hold an official Council session here.”

 

Alastria didn’t have to be asked to leave; she knew that there were only a few minutes to speak with her master and ensure he was alright. “I assume I’m not invited, so I’ll take my leave now.” As she walked by, Alastria didn’t so much as make eye contact with me. I found that offensive, as I felt that we were... maybe not friends, but worthy enough for a glance.

 

I remembered how Alastria seemed very proper for a Sith, but the same attitude seemed very rude for a Jedi. I found it particularly offensive because of my relationship with Ross, but I might have reacted in the same way to someone who tried to kill Alfred. Of course, Alfred would never have attempted something as heinous as what Vrook did.

 

Alfred cautiously put his hand upon my shoulder, likely fearing that I would go berserk at the slightest agitation. “I know you’re under a lot of tension right now, but please just try to remain at peace. Whether what they say is true or not, please just try not to react. That will only make the situation worse.”

 

I inhaled deeply and let that breath slowly escape my lungs. “You’re right... as usual. I just wish Revan were here. Do you seriously not know where he went?”

 

“I only lead him to the Ebon Hawk and told him to find somewhere safe. I assumed that he would have contacted us by now.” he answered.

 

I turned my head to look him in the eye, but before I could speak, Master Vandar started. “Alfred Kolchak, Yuthura Ban, we have called you here in order to resolve the matters that have taken place in the last two days.” He stepped up to Alfred. “Master Kolchak, although it was not made explicit, you knew that we did not want Revan to leave the temple. In aiding him, you deliberately went against our wishes. Were you aware that such insubordination is punishable by the reduction of rank from Master to knight?”

 

“Yes. I was aware of the consequences. I knowingly defied the will of the Council and will accept responsibility for my part in helping Revan.” He obediently stated.

 

“We’ll come back to that.” Vandar stated as he turned his eyes upon me. “Since Master Zez Kai Ell was present, I will have him address Yuthura’s actions.” He gestured ZKE to resume after he stepped aside.

 

Master Zez Kai Ell nodded and came up to me. “Yuthura Ban, spying on a closed Council session is a very serious matter and holds very steep sanctions. Although we held it in a medical ward, you knew that we were holding a private meeting. We found out how you did it, so this matter is not in dispute. Following which, you maliciously destroyed Master Atris’ lightsaber.” He gestured to her. “She... had demanded that you be sanctioned for your actions, but we have decided against it. She has admitted that she took your lightsaber without proper cause and refused to return it.”

 

He gestured her to come to me and I saw my lightsaber attached to her belt. As she reached for it, I extended my hand and took hold of it through the Force. When it detached from her side and shot into my hand, Atris looked at me as though I stuffed a lemon into her mouth.

 

I quickly pocketed the weapon to indicate that I had no intent to use it, but everyone else took it as a hostile act that I did. ZKE stared at Atris for a short moment and continued. “She has agreed to return your lightsaber and not to press the matter further. No sanctions will be placed upon either of you. You have your lightsaber back now... no harm done.”

 

I didn’t make any gestures and gave him only my silence. Alfred softly sighed, though.

 

ZKE continued. “We have also debated your spying on our meeting and decided that, as the session had not been formally started, we can’t expect the same rules to be upheld. Therefore, the issue of your punishment is up the medical staff... not us.”

 

That time, I sighed in relief. The rules of the medical staff usually quantified punishment by credits... something I didn’t have to worry about.

 

“Now to the original matter.” Master Zhar gestured me to come closer to him and Vrook, who were still in their medical beds. “Yuthura, I cannot overemphasize the severity of attacking another in anger. The consequences for your action would normally be exile, but the Council does not wish to pursue that end.”

 

I felt a little better hearing him say that I mattered. Of course, if they were open to that kind of compromise, maybe they would have reconsidered their decision about Revan. After sighing, I looked to Master Vrook. “With all due respect, aren’t I or Alfred allowed to contest our side of the matter? He doesn’t deserve...”

 

Vrook held up his hand to hush me. “There is nothing to contest. You both have been forgiven. As far as I’m concerned, this matter is behind us.”

 

Alfred had been behind me and I could hear the relief in his voice. “Are you serious?”

 

Zhar answered. “The last thing we need is to escalate an already tense situation further. As much as I dislike this ruling, I will not let my personal feelings interfere with my judgment. Neither of you will be arraigned, but that is due to extraordinary circumstances. Don’t mistake this for forgiveness.”

 

“Master Zhar...” Vandar interrupted. “The matter is closed.”

 

An uncomfortably long moment later, Alfred bowed to the injured masters. “Thank-you, we’re grateful for your pardon.”

 

I didn’t comprehend what had they had said. Forgiveness? After spitting in their faces, how could they have done something like that? When I asked to return after my time with the Sith, I had to beg for their forgiveness... and Revan had to support my petition before they gave it to me. I could not comprehend those same people suddenly doing the exact opposite and for the wrong reasons.

 

When Alfred completed his bow, he looked to me as though to silently tell me ‘say thank-you, Yuthura.’

 

When Vandar accepted silence for my answer, he dismissed us, hoping never to look back upon the events that transpired in the last two days.

[JediAthos]

I wasn't shocked by Zez Kai Ell's intervention but I have to say I didn't anticipate the Council simply dismissing Yuthura and Alfred's actions.

 

I wonder if maybe they have an ulterior motive for doing such.

[Darth_Yuthura]

“It’s just that... only a few days ago, I thought that I had finally found the peace and serenity that I’ve sought all my life. Now... I feel more insecure now than I’ve ever been.”

 

Juhani had poured a cup of Echani fire tea and set it on the table next to me. “Although I’m flattered that you turned to me for advice, I really could think of others more qualified than me. Is your old Master still alive?”

 

“He is. It’s just... he and I are not on good terms right now.”

 

She poured another cup for herself and sat across the table from me. “What happened between you two?”

 

“He told me that I should have shown some humility. That I should give Masters Vrook and Zhar a sincere apology for what I did. And that I should speak with Atris and... ‘shake hands and make up’ with her.” I sighed, my disgust very apparent.

 

She wrapped her fingers around that cup as if protecting it from harm. It had been so hot that she had to loosen her grip and instead took hold with her index fingers and thumbs planted near the rim, where the cup wasn’t as scalding. A small gesture, but it seemed to show that she was nervous. “Alex once said that small gestures often are what make the most difference. It’s easy to say ‘please,’ ‘excuse me,’ ‘thank-you.’ Even if they aren’t deserved, speaking such words are easy and often better than not.”

 

I could tell that she wasn’t being entirely honest with me. Although she didn’t lie, she didn’t speak her mind fully. “So are you saying you agree with me on this issue?”

 

She gripped her cup again, clearly hesitant to speak her mind. “I don’t think I fully understand why you’re so bitter right now. Considering that they forgave you, I think that at least shows something. Or is something else the matter?”

 

I scoffed at the implication. “They didn’t forgive to excuse me; they didn’t want to address their own actions. I’ll bet that they even thought it would give them the upper hand because I can’t contest their judgment.”

 

“Contest what? Am I missing something here?”

 

“I’m not talking about myself; I’m talking about Revan. What the Council attempted to do to him? Does that read on any sensors?”

 

She looked as though she didn’t like what I had implied. “What they did to him? I’d been told that he was falling to the Darkside and when the Council tried to help him... he resisted.”

 

“Is that what they say?” I asked, contempt very apparent in my tone.

 

“No... they haven’t really said anything about the matter. Most of what I’ve heard are just rumor. I really don’t know what happened.”

 

I set down my cup on the table and stood up as if to present a lecture. “Alex Trevelyan came to be because the Council didn’t restore Revan’s damaged mind. You already know this?”

 

She vaguely nodded.

 

“Some of Revan’s memories were still intact and they started to resurface. He said that the Council created mental blocks to keep Revan’s memories from ever returning, but those have begun to break down.”

 

“You mean... he’s turning back into Revan... I mean the Dark Lord?”

 

I sat down again to look her in the eye again. “He, Alex Trevelyan, wanted to let his original memories return; but the Council demanded to let them reestablish the mental blocks. When he refused, they attempted to force it upon him. I stopped them.”

 

Juhani looked at me with much discomfort and didn’t know how to take the news. She didn’t believe what I said, but she didn’t sense I was lied. I didn’t take it personally, as she had been trained all her life to trust in the Council.

 

When I saw she didn’t know what to say, I accepted her silence. “I don’t expect you to believe me, but that’s what happened. They probably thought that they were helping him, but when he refused to accept their help; they tried to force it upon him. When I stepped in, they wouldn’t back down... that’s why I attacked Vrook and Zhar.”

 

She stood up and looked out a nearby window. “No, it’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just... I’d feel better if Trevelyan were here. What you’re telling me... are you really sure? That maybe the Council were just trying to save him?”

 

“Save him? They didn’t have the right, and yet they tried to alter him. To manipulate him into doing their will...”

 

“Stop it! What you’re thinking is just insanity.” She hissed back to me.

 

I stood up and went to lean against the window next to Juhani and waited for her to face me. “Would you have imagined that the Council was capable of taking the Dark Lord’s mind and creating a new identity? They altered Revan’s mind and restrained what was left of him so that they could maintain control over the alias that they created... not the man he really was. When he told them that he didn’t want those memories restrained again, they should have respected his right to his own memories.”

 

She shook her head. “Please don’t... I know that what the Council did to Revan was wrong, but I don’t care. I think that everything worked out for the best and I wouldn’t want to see anything happen to him. Revan wouldn’t have changed if his mind was restored. It was Alex Trevelyan...”

 

“...who wanted those memories returned to him. It was Alex Trevelyan who was denied by the Council. What’s worse is that they thought they were entitled to do with his mind as they please.” I gently pulled her away from the window to face me directly. “Juhani, the Council cannot be allowed to make this decision for him. If he should want those memories returned to him, they mustn’t believe they have the right to interfere. If we let this pass, they will come to believe that they can trample upon anyone’s unalienable rights.”

 

“You’re over exaggerating. This is about saving him, Alex Trevelyan. Or at the very least, keep Revan from being reborn. I couldn’t imagine he would ever want that to happen to him again.”

 

I sighed in frustration. “You speak of this like it’s restoring Revan to the way he was. This is simply allowing suppressed memories to resurface. And the mind that those memories would return to is already occupied. Alex Trevelyan wouldn’t be destroyed and Revan takes his place... he would simply acquire memories that weren’t there before.”

 

She looked at me, almost with pity. “You seem to have made up your mind already. I’m afraid that I’m not so brave to oppose the Council as you.”

 

We stared at one another for a long moment before I realized that she was loyal to the Council and wouldn’t help me. I felt like pealing to her experience as a slave, but that was a very sensitive subject... not one of which was appropriate to speak of at that time, so I turned to leave. “The Council are not always right. We don’t simply owe them our services, but our judgment. And we betray them if we sacrifice it for their opinion.” I bowed. “Thanks for the tea.”

 

------

 

It was very disconsoling to have Trevelyan gone while his fate had been decided from behind closed doors. I simply wanted to know that he was alright, but as the following day turned to night; I became increasingly concerned, as I received no word from him. Normally I wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Trevelyan didn’t simply go into hiding. If Revan’s personality has started taking control, then I might have just doomed the one I wanted to save.

 

At the same time, I feared what the Council had in mind for him. I didn’t fear so much what they had planned for Trevelyan as what they were capable of. Those who lead must hold themselves to a higher standard than their followers, but what the Council did defied everything they claimed to value. The first time they altered Revan might have been justified under the circumstances, but forcing it upon Alex Trevelyan went too far.

 

It was a difficult situation every way I looked at it. I seemed to be the only one who thought what they did was wrong, I knew that it was wrong, but with everyone else telling me different... I just couldn’t be sure. Maybe it really was me.

 

The only ones who could address my concerns were the ones I couldn’t trust. It wasn’t like I could just go up and ask them, let alone trust anything they said. As far as they knew, I was satisfied with being forgiven; anything I did to make them think otherwise would have lead them to the fact that I was still on to them.

 

After wandering around the temple for a few hours, I tried to sort out everything that’s taken place over such a short span of time. It had been only two full days since I stopped Masters Vrook and Zhar, but the hours seemed to last days. I wondered why I felt so much discombobulation when everything seemed so clear to understand. I guess it was that which made me most uncomfortable. I just couldn’t believe the Council would have resorted to something so severe. Just when I had begun to feel safe in this place... betrayal.

 

I should have been used to it by then, but it was Trevelyan who encouraged me to open myself to others again. I had learned to trust people like him, Alfred, and some others. Although I wouldn’t have entrusted my life to more than those closest to me, I felt that I didn’t have to question the word of anyone in the Order. For the first time, the inability to trust ‘the wisdom of the Council’ meant something to me. At first, I had been under the impression that it was just me; but they had never actually done anything to make me question their motives... until then.

 

When I ran into Master Kavar in the hallway, I almost didn’t notice that he had returned to the temple earlier than he was expected. “You look like you’re carrying the weight of the whole Galaxy on your shoulders.”

 

“I wouldn’t go that far. I’m just an angry, little Sith trying to change an entire Galaxy. I don’t know if my mind is just maladjusted, or that everyone’s balls just dropped off.” I answered.

 

Kavar’s expression was a mix of concern, confusion, and amusement. He tried not to chuckle, but he couldn’t fully restrain it. When he saw my reaction, Kavar just smiled openly to me. “I’m sorry. You just... you have a way with words.”

 

I couldn’t help but smile in return. It seemed surprising how much a warm expression could lighten the mood. “I suppose I do. What are you doing here? I thought you and Master Vash were going to be at least another few days.”

 

He smiled almost smugly. “I’ve had a plan ready to transfer command of my forces and just had to implement it ahead of time. Master Vash will still need another day before Admiral Onasi can take over for her forces.”

 

“How much longer will it be before this war is officially over?”

 

He sighed. “The war was over when the Star Forge was destroyed, but any remnant Sith forces will continue fighting to the last man. Whenever that is... Whatever are left pose no real threat to the Republic, but the fleet will likely be dealing with them for months yet.”

 

“Good riddance.” After observing another expression from him that I could read as disappointment, I changed the subject. “So what happens now? I was told that all of you returned early because of me?”

 

He folded his arms and studied me as if to silently say ‘how the hell could you possibly have stopped two Council members like that?’ Even Revan would have thought twice before trying something like that. I found it interesting just how apparent his thoughts were by his expression, considering that he was supposed to keep his thoughts hidden.

 

Of course I misread his expression... “We intended to call back everyone to the temple once our part of the war effort has been concluded. I would say that you simply pushed our timetable up a few weeks.” Then he moved his head to examine the side of my face. “If I may ask, why haven’t you removed those tattoos?”

 

I brought my hand to my forehead and rubbed the areas as if there were a texture to them. Obviously there wasn’t any contrast that I could feel between the ink in my skin and the natural violet, but I still brushed my figure tips over them, knowing that they were still there. “There aren’t any regulations on body art. A traditional dress code maybe, but I haven’t found anything regarding tattoos.”

 

“Maybe, but Sith tattoos aren’t exactly what we had in mind. We have issues with people regarding Sith and Jedi the same way and when one of our own bears symbols of the enemy, it doesn’t really help the matter.”

 

I sighed and glared at him. “When the Council believes it has the right to manipulate people’s minds, that doesn’t help matters much either.”

 

“Masters Vrook and Zhar weren’t altering him; they were just trying to reinforce the mental blocks that already exist.”

 

“He didn’t want that done. When they tried to force it on him, he resisted. Didn’t that give you some indication as to why he went into hiding? He wanted those memories, they are his real memories, and you can’t deny them to him. You didn’t have the right to deny them in the first place.”

 

He diverted his attention to a padawan who had been passing nearby. He had been staring at me, but turned away once Kavar looked him in the eye. At first, I thought he did that for my sake, but he really just wanted the adolescent boy to continue on his way.

 

When the boy moved out of earshot, Kavar didn’t look my in the eye, but put me in the corner of his vision. “We’ve found Revan.”

 

I felt a tense surge of concern. The way he said those words sounded as though he had more to tell me... something I didn’t want to hear. Only I hated waiting for bad news to come. “What happened?”

 

He gave me a confused look. “Nothing. We simply found where he is hiding.”

 

“And?” I spoke in a threatening manner.

 

“Apparently, he has a wookie friend that offered him safe passage to his home world. An ideal place to hide, as the wookies have sealed themselves off from outsiders.”

 

I didn’t know much about Kassyak, but I knew it was among the most difficult places to search for a Jedi. It teemed with life, making it hard to triangulate where a specific Jedi would have been. It was inhabited by a civilization of strong beings who were extremely Xenophobic. And if that weren’t enough, the entire planet was a hostile environment for all but the toughest species.

 

Despite that, I still couldn’t underestimate the Council’s resolve or their wits. “Alright... now that you found him, what happens now?”

 

He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “We’re not going to try and capture him, if that’s what you’re asking. He needs to return here and he has to come back willingly. We haven’t contacted...”

 

I glared as I interrupted him. “I won’t let you alter his mind again! If he comes...”

 

“Listen!” he shouted. “We’ve attempted to contact him, but got no response. We simply want him where we can keep track of his location... that is all we demand at the moment. We are sending someone to Kassyak to determine where he is and, if she finds him, to speak to him directly on our behalf. I would...”

 

By ‘she,’ I assumed he must have meant me. “If I find him, I’ll inform him of what you really mean. I won’t...”

 

“Muzzle it!” He shouted with extreme authority. That was like a slap in my face, but it actually made me less inclined to talk back. When he knew I got the message, he resumed. “We are sending Bastila to Kassyak on our behalf. We want you to go as well.” He took a deep inhale as if to release all the tension within him. When he continued, his tone was more subtle. “Because of their bond, Revan would know that what she tells him would be the truth. We want Revan to return, but we are not going to do any more than keep an eye on him. Master Zez Kai Ell and I have insisted that you be with Bastila for this. If Revan still has suspicions of our intentions, then it would be prudent to hear the same thing from someone who stands on the opposite side of the matter.”

 

I remained silent for a long moment as I considered what he suggested. “An ally and an enemy both telling him the same thing?”

 

“Exactly. We only want Revan to return to the temple. If his memories are returning, they may pose a risk to himself and to others.”

 

“How do I know that you won’t try and force your treatment on him again?”

 

“You have my word.” he answered. “We’re not going to be able to apprehend him, so he has to return willingly. We don’t want his memories to manifest themselves if he is going to shut us out, so we will have to deal with the matter in another way.”

 

I didn’t sense any deception from him, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if he could hide his true thoughts from me. There was an unofficial policy among the Order that we weren’t to question the word of anyone with the title ‘Jedi,’ but I didn’t really know whether or not I could trust the Council again after what they’ve done. Of course, there was another who’s mind was easier to read than Kavar’s. “Where is Bastila now?”

 

He smiled. “She’ll be in hanger 2 in 30 minutes.” He gestured away with his head. “You should be ready to leave by then.”

 

“And are we to do this alone?” I asked.

 

“We don’t want to give Revan the impression that we’re sending a strike force to capture him. And I don’t think the Wookies would appreciate having a... team of off-worlders walking about. I’m sure you would understand why.”

 

“Why?”

 

He stared at me as though I were dense or something. “Slavers...”

 

I shook my head. “You really don’t know that much about slaving operations, do you? If someone wanted to capture Wookiee slaves, they would have to send a small army... any fools sending less than that wouldn’t stand a chance. That’s why most slaving organizations are as large as interplanetary corporations.”

 

“Alright, alright. But Wookies still don’t like outsiders. And to answer your question: yes, we are sending only you and Bastila.”

 

I sighed and leaned my head back, allowing my lekku to slide off my shoulders and dangle freely. I knew I was going to dread what had been coming up. Bastila and I often didn’t get along. It might have seemed that we would’ve been friends to the other Jedi, considering our backgrounds; but only because they didn’t understand the Sith as we did. Although Jedi normally were prejudicial to Sith, people like us actually knew one another.

 

Before I could complete the thought, Kavar looked around my head and at my lekku. “Don’t they get in the way when you’re fighting? They look dangerously exposed.”

 

“Well... let’s just say that I wouldn’t use the Shien form.” That was the backhanded lightsaber form that placed my blade of energy only centimeters away from the head tails. “I just have to wrap them around my neck, but I just had to get used to the discomfort. When they get pinched between my neck and shoulders, that’s like...” I gestured to his lower section. “I think it’s like how you males get used to... that collection of objects in your trousers.”

 

He looked down, almost embarrassed, and chuckled. “I won’t comment on that. What I meant was that you might want to consider getting a headband that would allow you tie those against your back so that you wouldn’t have you worry about them so much in a fight.”

 

I held my lekku against my back and twisted my neck a bit to see how uncomfortable that was. It still would have been uncomfortable, but at least would have allowed me to turn my head better than before. “You know, I must say I’m surprised that you thought of that instead of Master Zhar. How did he go about them?”

 

He chuckled. “He never really did. You might want to suggest that to him.”

 

“Maybe later. Right now, I want to go find Revan.”

 

Before I turned away, he had one other thing to say. “You’re calling him ‘Revan’ now?”

 

“That’s what he wants to be addressed by. I know that he’s not the Dark Lord at all, but if that’s what he wants to go by again...”

 

“Well he needs to remember who he really is and it doesn’t help for him to think of himself as the identity that he doesn’t want to become.”

 

Although I didn’t agree with him on that matter, I didn’t want to be stalled any longer. I didn’t even really want to carry out my assignment... as in bringing him back. I just wanted to know that he was alright. There was something that disturbed me about him being Revan... We’ve often been warned that our greatest enemies were ourselves, but something about him seemed to take that lesson to another level. Alex Trevelyan may have had an enemy from within that wasn’t a part of him at all.

 

I had hoped that the memories would have just become a part of him again, but what Master Vandar spoke of about a split-personality concerned me greatly. I had to know whether or not it was Alex Trevelyan, or Revan who was in control.

[Darth_Yuthura]

Bastila had been in the pilot’s seat when I entered our vessel, so I didn’t have the chance to volunteer to take us out. She knew the coordinates for Kassyak, so naturally she would have been the one to take us there. If she told me that she wasn’t a trained pilot, I would have thrown her aside before we even took off. It wasn’t until the ship veered into the path of oncoming vessels that I took hold of the joystick with the Force and directed us into a steep dive to avoid a collision.

 

The sudden and unexpected jolt startled her greatly and despite fighting my control over the joystick, I was determined not to let us crash. When we were clear, I leveled the ship off and then stood up. While she tried to figure out what happened, I tapped her shoulder. “That’s it, I’m piloting.”

 

“That wasn’t me!”

 

“Get out of the chair! I’m flying the ship now.”

 

When she saw that I was the one who had control of the joystick, she unstrapped herself and did as she was told. In that brief moment, we veered towards a massive skyscraper and just as I got my hand on the joystick; I pulled us up and avoided another accident.

 

That jolt caused her to hit a bulkhead, but I didn’t notice. I just tried to get back into the flow of traffic without crashing into anything. By the time that we were finally where we needed to be, Bastila had gotten to the seat next to me, her palm clenched against her forehead. “What the hell is wrong with you? You nearly killed us.”

 

With my head fixed forward, I calmly replied. “I just saved our lives. If you didn’t know how to fly, then you shouldn’t have been in the pilot’s seat.”

 

After moaning softly from the pain, she pulled her hand away to see she was bleeding. “And if you were such a hotshot pilot yourself, you wouldn’t have done something so foolish as that. If you told me that in the first place, I would have given you control.”

 

“I had assumed you knew what you were doing. Clearly that isn’t so.” When she applied pressure upon her forehead again, I saw a stream of blood along the side of her face. “How’s the head?”

 

She didn’t respond.

 

I sighed in disgust. “Have you lost your tongue?”

 

She wiped away the blood with her hand and dropped it in her lap. “Like you really care.”

 

“Fine. The next time you’re hurt, I’ll just let you suffer in silence.”

 

After a moment of silence, she still wouldn’t face me. “It’s nothing.”

 

When our ship approached the outlet where ships transition from atmospheric flight to enter space, I pulled us up and the engines built up enough thrust and we accelerated through into the stratosphere. Although we were still low in the atmosphere, the sky in front of us was almost pitch black and stars were clearly visible.

 

For some reason, I didn’t want to bicker with her for the whole journey, so I faced her. “I am sorry about that. I just...”

 

“I said it’s nothing. Just fly the ship.”

 

I gave off a disgusted sigh and wondered why I bothered with her. I tried to be considerate and she just brushed me off... well I guess that was better than if Atris were here.

 

-----------

 

An hour passed with no words spoken to one another. We had an entire day of hyperspace travel and I found that the computer didn’t have a very extensive library outside of a basic database about planets and species. I felt like an idiot to not bring along something to keep my mind occupied. Bastila sat on the deck behind me meditating.

 

For nearly an hour, I went through the database just for the sake of keeping my mind occupied. I was bored, the time seemed to slow down, and I knew that I couldn’t stand another 19 hours being locked up in there. When I went through my pockets to see how many credits I had on me, I took out my lightsabers as well and found that datapad Alfred gave me in that same pocket. I thought it strange how I had it all this time, but I just assumed it was my lightsabers. I didn’t know whether I would have actually gone through it on my own time or not, but since I had nothing else to do; I logged onto the device and started reading.

 

Alfred had collected a total of 59 books, journal articles, documents, and other works that related to Revan and his Sith Empire. Few of them peaked enough interest in their title for me to select, but even fewer of them were worth reading all the way through. I did manage to find one document that had been written by Malak during his time of the Mandalorian Wars and I had been curious about him as a Jedi before he became something utterly detestable.

 

--------

 

The book actually had proven very interesting and I was impressed by how great a Jedi Malak must have been. He wrote about how he and Revan took part in many great deeds that didn’t gain recognition by the Council, but reinforced the Republic for war. He also addressed where they learned of the various Mandalorian tactics, which proved useful in the war.

 

The first six chapters addressed how the Council were strong to stand by their beliefs, but that they were not the enemies of the Republic. Although some who chose to back them claimed the Council were weak to stand against war, he defended that sometimes the bravest were those who stood for what they valued instead of their lives.

 

His impression of Revan was off, though. He spoke of ‘their’ deeds and ‘their’ judgment when it clearly had been Revan who directed both of them. Malak wasn’t as talented as his master at inspiring anything other than fear into the hearts of his enemies. History remembered Revan as the more powerful and charismatic of the pair.

 

As I got closer to the battle of Malachor V, I could almost see how the evil within Malak grew in those words. As Revan chose to abandon traditional tactics, it seemed that Malak began to doubt his intentions. It was when the Republic began to win under Revan’s leadership that Malak began to believe it was alright to abandon self-destructive traditions for a greater end.

 

The book ended with various projections of what would have happened if he and Revan didn’t intervene on the Republic’s behalf. Naturally, he claimed that they saved the Republic from defeat and gave the statistics of their battles and what they cost the Republic. ‘Only’ 86 billion lives were lost and 17 worlds sacrificed to preserve the rest of the Republic intact.

 

He also gave various numbers of other likely projections had he and Revan done differently. If they followed traditional Republic tactics, the Republic might have lost in excess of 550 billion lives and the destruction of another 60 to 75 Republic worlds... including as many as 15 Core Worlds.

 

Another scenario that he included was a ‘best-scenario defeat’ as he called it. The scenario where Coruscant was taken and the Republic forced to surrender would have come after the Mandalorians conquered over 350 worlds. The death toll in that scenario was 1.5 trillion Republic lives as well as nearly 2.5 trillion enslaved.

 

For some reason, I couldn’t help wondering just how many lived and died under Malak and Revan. The last scenario he gave wasn’t much worse than the actual outcome of the Sith War. There actually had been more deaths caused by that war than the first, but the Republic survived and freedom wasn’t under threat from another foreign empire. Had the two not intervened, more lives may have been saved; but as to the quality of those lives? I’m sure they would rather have died than live as slaves to be used against their own people.

 

When I set the pad down, I checked the clock to see that only 3 hours had passed. I looked back to confirm that Bastila still hadn’t moved out of her meditative stance. Maybe she shifted around a bit, but she just sat there with her legs crossed, fingers intertwined, and eyes closed. I couldn’t understand how she could have meditated like that for so long doing nothing while I felt absolutely bored to death... the document I read had been little better than nothing.

 

I finally turned my chair around and asked. “How could you still be meditating?”

 

“It centers oneself.” she answered, her eyes still closed and no emotion in her voice.

 

“How neurotic must you be to still be doing that after four hours? If it isn’t working, maybe you should try something else.”

 

She opened her eyes and pivoted her head over her left shoulder to make eye contact with me. “Do I seem neurotic to you? It does work.”

 

“Well if you’re still centering yourself, then clearly you’re not getting any closer. If you are already centered, then you’re just wasting your time.”

 

She harumphed and went back to meditating. “Then I’ll just waste it however I choose.”

 

I turned my seat back again, but then realized that I never did ask her what the Council had in mind for me and Revan. I turned around and she lifted her head right before I spoke. “What did the Council tell you?”

 

“Tell me?”

 

“About Revan. What is your part in this?”

 

She turned her head again to go back to her meditation. “I’m not at liberty to discuss it.”

 

I got out of my seat and squatted before her. “You know... I don’t really care about all the Council and its secrets. What did they tell you?”

 

“I don’t care what you think. I obey the Council... as will you.”

 

“I want to know what they told you. What difference would it make if the truth were known? Do they have something to hide?” I asked.

 

“Obviously they do, otherwise there would be no reason to keep it secret. Stop asking.”

 

I stood up and went back to my seat. “Right, if the truth were to get out, then I suppose they would lose their influence over the other Jedi. If they knew that Revan didn’t actually choose redemption, then it would cast doubt upon their rule.”

 

“You know nothing!” she screamed, standing up to speak down upon me. “Revan was a menace. The Council couldn’t save him, but they needed to know what he knew of the Star Forge. If he had the choice between death, or being given a new identity; he would have chosen...”

 

“He has chosen!” I interrupted as I stood up. After moving my face within centimeters of hers, spoke more calmly. “Alex Trevelyan had made a choice and when it didn’t meet with their approval, they stepped in and tried to coerce him into being their slave.”

 

“Slave?! Is that what you think he is? If anyone is manipulating him, it’s you.” Before I could talk back, she kept chattering. “Don’t you see why the Jedi forbid love? It invokes irrational actions and impairs judgment. Do you really think that he is making this choice on his own? He does it because of you!”

 

I furrowed my brow and lowered the volume of my voice, but spoke with great anger in my tone. “Do you think I want this? Do you think I want him to become more like a man who I would detest? If anything, I told him not to let the memories return. He said that he wanted his real memories back. He wants to be called by his real name.”

 

“He is Alex Trevelyan.”

 

“He was Revan up until the Council found him and made him who they wanted him to be! He had been given no choice and even when he said ‘no,’ they still forced it upon him. Now I ask you... if you force something upon another against their explicit refusal, that is not the way of the Jedi.” I returned to my seat and faced myself forward into the vast blankness of hyperspace.

 

A moment after that, Bastila got in the seat next to me. “Since you already know the truth, I suppose that I wouldn’t exactly... defile their trust to speak of a matter that you already know.”

 

“So you’re admitting that what they did was wrong?”

 

She frowned at me. “They aren’t fools, nor did they delude themselves into thinking that Revan redeemed himself. They know that they killed him. They know that Revan died under their care... not when Malak fired on his ship.” She then gave me a smug look. “Alright? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

 

I crossed my arms and leaned my seat back. “It’s what I want to hear, yes; but I want to hear it from them... as they admit to everyone exactly what they’ve done.”

 

She turned her seat forward to avoid having to reply.

 

“Why have they not? The Star Forge was destroyed long ago and his purpose has been served. There is no need to keep it secret any longer.” I told her.

 

“Yes there is. Revan had many enemies. What do you think it would do to Alex Trevelyan if the truth became public knowledge? He has a reputation for having nearly conquered the galaxy on his own. Turning back to the lightside and becoming more powerful because of it only makes him appear more invincible. Once it is learned that the Dark Lord was indeed dead and that Alex Trevelyan is a completely different person would detract everything from that reputation... make him seem weak. Then what if one of Revan’s enemies should want to strike at him?”

 

I shook my head. “This isn’t about one man... this is about the Council. This is about them believing in their own supremacy that they have become infallible. With that belief, tied to having supreme power over the Order, makes them no better than Sith Lords.”

 

She burst out laughing in utter disbelief. “Sith Lords?! Well then you must feel right at home. They are the wisest of the Order... naturally we should look to our elders, parents, teachers, masters, superiors, or anyone else who have the wisdom to lead. The measure of the Council’s power is their knowledge. If you proclaim that they have supreme power, it only goes to show the extent of their wisdom.”

 

I released a long, disgusted sigh. “And what if your master instructed you to do something that you knew to be wrong? If they trample upon the very thing that we are out trying to protect, their wisdom is moot.”

 

“The bloodshed over the last nine years would have been avoided had Revan and the others trusted them. It was only when Revan and Malak defied them that all this came about. Only when he, as Alex Trevelyan, followed them again that the Star Forge had been destroyed. You cannot make your point because your argument doesn’t hold water.”

 

“You stupid fool...” I felt the urge to strangle her, but got a hold of my senses. There wasn’t anything I could do about stupidity and using physical force wouldn’t have forced the truth into her. “What you said is true, but don’t proclaim that the Council is always right. I happen to have an alternate theory: that if we had trusted in the Council, the Mandalorian threat wouldn’t have been neutralized.” I pointed my finger at her to emphasize my point, which really irritated her. “You cannot deny that Revan delivered a solution and the Council did not.”

 

She looked at me as though I stuffed a lemon into her mouth. “Revan only used the war for propaganda. He saw an opportunity to elevate himself and grab power and that was the reason he urged the Jedi into that war. That was how he inevitably became the Dark Lord.”

 

“He was the only one to step up and face the threat. The Council could have taken action earlier and lead the way instead of Revan.”

 

“Revan was not the Council. He should have respected their choice. It was because of him that one fifth of the Order went to that war. It was always his opposition to the Council that divided the Order.”

 

In a less confrontatious tone, I calmly suggested “You’re right, he wasn’t. So how exactly did he manage to turn one fifth of the Order to his cause? One fifth of the Order!”

 

“He lied to them. He spoke of a righteous cause to defend the innocent, ‘because the Council are making a mistake,’ and that the Republic would fall without Jedi support. If they had actually taken into consideration that it was what the Mandalorians wanted us to do, they would not have been so quick to play into the hands of the enemy.”

 

I slowly let our a breath that seemed to indicate my level of frustration and leaned my head back. Then I thought of something to prove my point better than my words: Malak’s words. I grabbed the data pad and tossed it on the console in front of her. “Here, read.”

 

She was slow to pick it up, but quick to dismiss the document. “I already have. The whole purpose of this was to glorify their defiance and justify their part in the war. I truly hope that you don’t believe all this.”

 

“Not all of it, just the verses which are backed by facts. After the war, many within the Republic viewed the Council with contempt and Revan and Malak as heroes. They dealt with the threat and that was what allowed them to gather so much support. If they hadn’t turned to the Sith, then the outcome would have been better than anything the Council could ever have hoped for.”

 

“But that wasn’t the end of it of... the war changed them and it was the power they gathered during the war that corrupted them. If they hadn’t taken part in the war, the second wouldn’t have taken place.”

 

“I think I’m having a conversation with one of the bulkheads! If the Council had listened to Revan in the first place and had joined the war in the first place, it would have been Master Kavar and not Revan who would have become the war hero. If the Council were so wise, then why did they not consider that so many of their followers would’ve gone rogue? How can you trust them if they don’t respect anyone’s judgment other than their own?”

 

She sighed and covered her face with her hand. “It’s obvious that we are not going to agree on this. Whatever is done has been done; there is no point in rehashing old mistakes when we should be trying to work together on this matter.” She then turned her seat to address me directly. “I’m serving as a proxy to the Council. Because of our Force bond, he would know that I’m speaking the truth. The Council just wants him to be returned to the temple... they are not going to do any more than that.”

 

“And I’m supposed to just believe you?”

 

She shrugged her shoulders. “If Alex does, would you be satisfied then?”

 

I gave her one slight nod and turned myself forward again to watch the hyperspace corridor as it seemed to stretch into infinity. Bastila got up and went back to her meditation while I pondered what history could have been like if... and I considered a number of scenarios that could have been far much better and so few seemed much worse than the current one we were in.

 

For some reason, I didn’t seem to factor in to any of it. Although I have been given another chance to live by Alex Trevelyan, I realized how small I was compared to everything else that had happened in the last 10 years. Odds were that my name would have been forgotten once I died while Revan, Bastila, and those of the Council had already carved out their places in the history books. I guess that it was best that I didn’t have anything to take pride in, or I might have become as smug and arrogant as Vrook, Malak, or anyone else like them.

 

As I stared at the corridor, my mind drifted into unconsciousness...

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

An interesting last few chapters DY!

 

After reading these I am even more suspicious of the council than before. Though they dont want to address their mistakes, I wonder if they had ulterior motives for pardoning Yuthera...and now with trying to get Revan to come back to the temple...very fishy.

 

Another element I liked about these chapters are how you displayed various levels of corruption and self-righteousness in the council members. Atris is certainly the most self-absorbed and corrupted while it seems that Vandar can be more understanding though still corrupt to a degree. Bastila and Yuthera's arguement was well thought out and presented good arguements for both sides though I'm still inclined to agree that the council is more corrupt than anything else.

 

Only one minor correction - Kashyyyk

 

Overall, these were thought-provoking and well scripted chapters which I have come to expect from you.

 

P.S. Sorry for the long absense.

 

~HOP

[Darth_Yuthura]

I am glad that so many continue to read, even though I continue to follow the same 'demonize the Council' approach. I've actually got more in mind than to just trash them again and again. Maybe there will come a point when Yuthura doesn't see beyond a greater good and actually cause something that the Council wanted to avoid altogether.

 

There was a point to the conversation about 'stepping over the bodies of the dead to safeguard those still living.' Despite one's crimes, there comes a point when you must put everything aside in order to deal with the situation at hand. This will become more apparent as it becomes more personal for Yuthura.

[Darth_Yuthura]

Although it had been a little over ten years since I escaped Sleheyron, the memories of that place still haunted my dreams. At a very young age, I had been effectively traumatized by Omeesh. The needless brutality he inflicted upon me and my friends and the constant humiliation we endured were enough to make us wish we were dead. Where many took their own lives to end the pain, I wanted more to punish the one responsible. I remembered thinking that if I were to die, I would take him with me... I never considered what would happen after that.

 

I never would have expected my life to turn out as it has. I never could have imagined that I would become as vile and cruel as Omeesh only to be saved by the Dark Lord of the Sith himself and be accepted back to the Jedi. Then for me to be betrayed like that... it left me wondering if there were any others who could really be trusted anymore. It left me wondering what was more terrible: those who overtly showed how cruel they were, or those who didn’t know it.

 

I had no doubt that the Council believed what they tried to do was the right thing, but what they perceived as right was against everything that I valued. Could I, alone, show them that they were wrong, or was it still me who was misguided? A part of me really wanted to agree with them; to know that it was just a mistake on my part, but doing so was as difficult as admitting that slavery was an acceptable act. No matter how hard I could ever try, I simply could never believe it.

 

---------

 

He could still hurt me, even beyond the grave. I was clad in a slave-girl’s dancing outfit, but it was not made for aesthetics... it was made to mutilate one’s body and lacerate my breasts, lekku, and deliver pain where it hurt most. I never wore that kind of costume, but it was the kind of thing that he would have loved to put on his slaves.

 

Omeesh ordered me to start dancing. He told me that I had to perform my dance perfectly, or I would lose a lekku for any mistake I made. Somehow, I managed to perform my dance as he demanded, without making a mistake. I was filled with joy when I performed better than I ever have before, but he ordered me to do it again. I had been too afraid to protest because of the device on my chest and the back of my head.

 

I just went through the whole routine and did another perfect performance, as he commanded. When he ordered me to do it a third time, I fell to my knees. “Master, please! I’ll do anything you command, just please don’t hurt me! I beg you!”

 

“You stupid girl! That’s your only lot in life...” he raised the control to activate his torture device. “You are my property and if I want my property to suffer, then it must!”

 

Before he pressed the control, I used the Force to knock the control out of his stubby hand and then to shed off the torture outfit from my body. I stood before him, naked, but with a blade in my hand. “I have become more than you could ever be! I have watched you murder all my friends and now you will suffer for all their deaths!”

 

When I went to cut his throat, I realized that he already had the wound where I had stabbed him, over ten years ago. He looked at me and chuckled. “You cannot kill me; I’m already dead.”

 

“Then you’ll live long enough to suffer for all the times you hurt them!” I plunged the knife into his flesh, time and again, like a psychotic murderer. As I stabbed him repeatedly, he kept chuckling, showing no signs of blood or pain.

 

He reached out and wrapped his arms around to hold me like a pet. Despite my continual stabbing, he wouldn’t release me. “You always were my favorite slave, little one. You know that I’m still your master, and when I give you an order, I know you’ll obey...”

 

Even with the Force, I couldn’t break myself free from his slimy clutches. He licked and cuddled me and that... made me calm down. I remembered there were times when he stopped a torture session so that he could use me for... other purposes. After what I’ve been through, anything was better than more suffering and misery. I dropped my knife and he let me go. “Yes... Master. My flesh and soul.”

 

I had been mortified by what I said, but I knew that there simply was no escape and it would have been easier to just give in and not resist. I laid down with my back against his belly and he stroked my lekku for a few moments before he took a firmer grip upon them. “Now scream for me, little one. I want you to know that you are mine, now and forever.” Then he tightened his grip upon my head tails to make me scream.

 

-------

 

I didn’t exactly experience pain, but it felt as though I were falling and landed on my back before my reflexes kicked in. I gasped in shock and found myself back in reality, but brought my hands to check that my lekku were alright. I just had to check for myself that it was only a dream.

 

Gasping for breath and sighing in relief, I ducked my head to my knees and wrapped my arms around myself. Bastila had asked if I were alright, but I didn’t respond. A few seconds later, she touched my back and I slowly brought myself back up.

 

“Nightmare?”

 

“That’s all it was.” I said, more to convince myself than her.

 

She sat in the other chair. “Are you sure? Any chance it could have been a vision?”

 

I kept my head fixed forward. “Not unless Hutts can’t die and a Jedi such as I should... It was just a dream.”

 

She nervously continued. “You seem troubled by it.”

 

A silent moment later, “I frequently have nightmares; it’s nothing out of the ordinary.”

 

“Of Korriban?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Despite turning my head away, she kept staring as though to study me. I tried to be stoic, but something about her gray eyes reminded me of Revan and how he seemed to see right through me on Korriban. She had something else in mind, but I couldn’t conjure a guess as to what it was.

 

When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I made it known. “If you have something to say, just say it.”

 

“No, it’s just that... I really know very little about you. One can learn a lot about a person just by watching their behavior from the greatest to the smallest gesture.”

 

“Maybe, but those who know they’re being studied tend to behave differently than they normally would.”

 

She nodded. “I’d come to believe that you behaved differently because of him... because you felt that you owed it to him for saving your life.” She reluctantly went on. “Then when I really thought of your actions in the last two days, I realized that you are more complex than I realized.”

 

“Uh... thanks, I suppose. I thought you were about to ridicule me or something.”

 

“No, I’m not excusing you for spying on the Council; but you did actually make me think of something... the Council has never fully taken responsibility for Revan or Malak. They may have been misguided, but it was under the Council’s watch that they were trained to use the Force. It wouldn’t have mattered whether they acted under the Council or for themselves; it was because of the Jedi that they had been given the power to reshape the Galaxy.”

 

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you spoke ill of them; you’ve always been so supportive of their authority.” Before she responded, I kept speaking. “But what you said is only part of it; they need to know that they represent the entire Order when they make a decision... not just themselves.”

 

She glared at me. “They are still the wisest Jedi in the Order and despite their flaws, they need our support. In spite of their crime, we cannot afford another power struggle presently. That is why we must support them in every decision they make, whether we agree with it or not.”

 

I let my jaw drop to display how awestruck I was. “You admit it yourself that they committed a crime against Revan. How can you support someone you know is corrupt?”

 

“Do you know why the truth about Revan was kept secret? It wasn’t to cover up for a crime, but because such knowledge would have shattered the faith of the Order when it was most fragile. Even now that the Sith have been defeated, we need as many as possible to support our cause. Making what happened to Revan public knowledge would only hurt our chances of keeping the Order from falling apart.”

 

I growled under my breath, just enough to be heard. “So we step over the bodies of the victims and not look back?”

 

“If it’s in the best interests of the ones still standing, then absolutely.”

 

I didn’t want to admit it, but she was right. As terrible their crime had been, I knew I’ve done worse in my days under Uthar. Although they should have been above that kind of thing, what was done was done. The only issue I had to worry about was keeping them from committing the same crime again. History would judge what they did in the Mandalorian Wars; not me.

 

Then Bastila disrupted my thoughts. “Look, I really didn’t want to discuss the Council. An entire war has been raged over that issue and the last thing I want is to continue it.”

 

“What’s the point? You seem to’ve already made up your mind anyway.”

 

She reacted to a small degree, only just enough for me to notice. I suppose that from her perspective, I was just as dense and stubborn as she was. I knew what it was like to argue with someone so dedicated to another conclusion that I became even more determined to prove her wrong. It just seemed so difficult because I KNEW I was right and couldn’t conceive how someone else could believe the opposite.

 

After a moment, she wanted to have the last word on the subject. “I really can’t understand why you take the events of the Mandalorian Wars, or the Council’s crime so seriously. What Revan did was so much worse. What you did was much worse.”

 

“Don’t speak of such things; you know nothing of me!” I hissed.

 

“Well I’d like to know. You’re always so isolated and detached. How would you expect anyone to understand if you keep everything to yourself?”

 

I rolled my head back to show her my annoyance. “Maybe I don’t want everyone to... understand. Maybe I show only what I want.”

 

“You show a lot more than you realize. I saw, as the Council had seen why you really returned to the Order. It was because of him.”

 

As she spoke those words, I could tell from the tone in her voice that she wasn’t trying to attack me. It was almost... envy? I must not have been understanding her right.

 

“It was your feelings for him that you saved yourself, wasn’t it?”

 

I kept my silence for a long moment before realizing that it really didn’t matter whether she knew the truth or not. “He was really the first person in a long time to give a damn about what I did with my life... even me. I think it started when I saw him with Mission, whom I believed was his slave... he seemed to be more interested in protecting her than himself. It reminded me of my own time as a slave and I grew to respect his... humility.”

 

“That’s something every Jedi is supposed to have. Wouldn’t humility have been regarded as... weakness.”

 

“Obviously... but he did give some good explanations for what he did. I believed him when he said that it was... for his own benefit to encumber himself; it made sense to me. That is one thing about being a Jedi that showed their strength. At some point, she was alone and about to be assaulted by another Sith student. I stopped him and she told Trevelyan what I did. After that, he and I came to learn more about the other than we originally wanted.”

 

“You wanted?” she asked.

 

“Yeah. I had originally intended to have Mission do the honor of killing her master, like I had, after he served his purpose. As I saw more of who he was, I came to respect him. When he asked to know more about my past, I originally thought he just wanted to use it against me... he seemed genuinely interested. By that time, I felt comfortable telling him and he told me what I wanted to hear.”

 

“What kinds of things?”

 

I shrugged my shoulders. “He said that my reasons for becoming a Sith were commendable. He respected my feelings on the matter and made me feel that I had the right to be angry for what was done to me... he also reminded me of many things I haven’t thought of in a long time.”

 

“You were once a slave... I wouldn’t claim to know what you’ve been through, but you have since been your own master. Why are you so determined not to let go of your anger, even when it causes you such pain?”

 

I turned away from her and folded my arms as I went into deep thought about her question. I hated Sleheyron. I hated Omeesh. There was nothing about those years that I wanted to take with me, and yet I couldn’t ever just let them go. I wanted to hate Omeesh and I wanted to be angry for what happened to me. I wanted to hold onto those feelings that hurt so deeply as I watched him torture my closest friends.

 

Omeesh wasn’t exactly the average Hutt, as most just regarded slaves as property and nothing more. He enjoyed breaking his property and making them know that their only purpose was to amuse him with their screams of agony. I just couldn’t help knowing that so many lives, so many sentient beings’ rights were being violated all over the galaxy. The Hutts were so powerful, that those slaves couldn’t fight back.

 

I remembered what one Sith once told me about slaves. He said that if they were too weak to fight back, they deserved their fate either to live as slaves, or to die trying. That was not what it was like at all for them. I hated Omeesh, long before I took action; but I was so tormented by him and afraid to lose what little I had that I obeyed his every whim. It was only after I realized I had nothing left to protect that I fought back.

 

I tried to recall the names of my friends, their faces, their personalities... I had forgotten so much that I couldn’t think of any one specifically. They were all gone; their bodies, their souls... anything left of them all was with me, and as I forgot about that horrible place, I couldn’t help feeling that any traces that they ever existed died with me.

 

As my thoughts drifted away, Bastila didn’t repeat her question and just let me be. I actually did have something that I would have asked Alfred or Revan, but felt that I needed to hear from someone I knew wouldn’t just tell me what I wanted to hear. “Bastila... do you think it’s important to respect the dead?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

I knew she just wanted me to elaborate more than what I said, but she understood the question. “If someone is dead... they have no family, no loved ones, children that don’t remember them, no trace that they ever existed... do you think it matters that something of them be preserved?”

 

She crossed her arms and jogged her mind for a brief moment, if only to show some thought on the matter. “If someone remembers them then I would say yes, we should respect them for what they were worth to us. Are you talking about someone in particular?”

 

“Yes; one or two.”

 

“How close were you to them?” she asked.

 

“Friends I lost long ago. Omeesh murdered them and fed their bodies to his pets after they had served their purpose...” Except for one that he really didn’t kill, but that was too sensitive a topic for me to face. I continued, “They didn’t have anyone else, no family, all their other friends eventually died as well... I’m the only one who remembers these people. And there are many who I’ve forgotten. I keep thinking that I preserve something of them that matters, that they lived, and yet... I know they’re dead. And they’re never coming back.” I turned my head away to keep her from seeing the tears that I felt coming. “And nothing can ever make up for it. If I just forgot them, it would not matter anymore. There are no remains bury. No family to mourn. No funeral to acknowledge they ever existed. Just a painful end down the throat of a kell dragon!” I didn’t exactly start crying, but hyperventilated as it helped to keep the tears back.

 

Bastila started extending her arm towards my shoulder, but held it back when she figured it wouldn’t help. Contact comfort really didn’t matter between two who were almost strangers to one another. She kept silent for a long moment before suggesting something that might have helped. “It is always painful to lose someone you care about; I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you. I never found my father’s remains. He died in much the same way... a Krayte Dragon. We did manage to find a holocron he kept with him.”

 

“A holocron? That’s at least evidence that he once lived. And it’s different between a parent and offspring.”

 

She didn’t take that well, but tried to explain the point of why she brought that up. “When we found it, the holocron had suffered significant damage. I had no idea if there was anything left on it to save, but opening it might have destroyed everything he put on it over the last ten years of their lives.” She sighed deeply. “I just put it aside; I was afraid of destroying what data survived, but there had been corrosion around the casing that I knew was going to... I eventually decided that it was going to be lost one way or another. I had T3 open the casing and scan the internal components.”

 

“And?”

 

She hesitated to answer. “Much of it was destroyed by the corrosion. Almost half of the data T3 might have been able to save was lost because I was afraid to open it. He was only able to salvage seven holo images and a few seconds of a voice recording... badly degraded.”

 

“And I suppose that the moral of this story is that we often destroy what it is we are trying to protect because we are afraid to lose it?” I implied as I looked over my shoulder.

 

“No. I actually might have gotten more out of the holocron because there was so little that was saved. I found my mother during that voyage as well, and despite ending up on good terms with her, I would have intended not to become reacquainted with her... knowing she was going to die within the month.” She leaned her head back to collect her thoughts. “One of the photos I recovered was... suspicious. I wanted to ask her what she knew about it...” She then started chuckling. “And she shared with me many of the stories they shared. Most of the content in the holocron were of his treasure hunts, so there was little that really mattered anyway. The last time before I was given to the Jedi, I intensely disliked my mother, but she shared with me so much more that mattered than the holocron ever could have.”

 

I nodded, not exactly sure that helped; but I at least felt better than before. “So what happened to your mother?”

 

“She died shortly after. It may not have seemed like much, but I was glad that my father lived happily with my mother and that I found her before the end. I gave her a proper funeral. Few attended, but it gave me a sense of... conclusion to know that something that had been bothering me all my life was righted before the end.”

 

Again, I nodded, still not knowing how that related to my situation. “And what of those who haven’t seen right done before their end?”