Zoom Rabbit Posted April 19, 2002 Author Share Posted April 19, 2002 Sunglasses on, please. 'Aaaiiiyyeeeeee--! The giant alien moth has broken out of its aluminum cage and is rampaging about the ship! All personnel intercept the intruder before it gets to the bridge, or engine room, or some other vital system. Phasers don't stop it? Its antennae have sonic capabilities that tear down any forcefield and scramble a transporter lock? It's also intelligent and eats people? We're (*can't say on teevee yet*) this time! It's taken over the computer core and locked the ship on a warp-seven course for the sun...in ten seconds we will penetrate the corona. All hands abandon--oh, never mind. Kiss your ass goodb--' Exactly what are moths thinking, anyway? Taarkin: the sperm and egg created your body. Where were YOU, man...where were YOU? Edlib: we must take over that room, bring in some tibetan bells, crystal bowls and pygmy singers to record an album that will blow minds three hundred years from now. Make them see reason. Intriguing answers, all. This notion of self versus body just happens to bring us to my next koan: 'If every cell that was in your body when you were born died years ago, what are you?' *Dig...dig...dig...* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylilin Posted April 20, 2002 Share Posted April 20, 2002 Aiyyo, once upon a rhyme where the scenery sets, you see stress Streets a matter of life and death, no regrets Life's a test, strife, wit special effects Neighbourhood's full of reps, cities and projects Where the young cadets get stripes from the vets And comrades quest to be the next, to finess Collect debts and select bets with death threats Object - Chedder, better your total net Where trends are set from ways to express the outfits Friends get wet tryin' to make ends connect Avenues to check, boulevards to sweat The smell of gunsmoke more common than cigarettes We got clicks for wreck We like Pits for pets We got Giants and Jets, the Knicks, Yanks and Mets We like much respect and sex extra wet And High-Tech dialect you ain't catch yet Aiyyo, we got blocks and glocks with big shots with big knots and big props yo this is where the bulls**t stops where herbs get got if you snitch you get shot we get down and leave the town in a state of shock We got dangerous hang out spots and slick cops place called Riker's Island where kids get locked a lotta gear to rock with blocks of clothes shops styles are top notch, this is the place to watch so bust the box the radio station is hot ease your mind staring at skylines from rooftops flip scripts for chips and new Whips of the lot quick to call a shot, politic with thick plots and the garden of eden gets to see what we got to make sure the core of the big apple don't rot where seeings believing we be achieving a lot where disc jocks created hip hop, check it out! Aiyo, we got five bouroughs of ghettos with many places to meet, you get lost in city streets the city that never sleeps Mecca and Medina the population increase the desert and the oasis, New York, the far east with gods and Sheiks pretty amazons for weeks player dons that fleece the family's black sheep icons that teach that we all act unique we got stats to reach so we all have to eat a mass of peeps, with they own masterpiece the crafts elite, we going past the beat the latest technique no other place get as deep who parks release some of the worlds greatest athletes DJs and MCs and graffiti artis who use walls and subway trains for marquees we go back to b-boys, breakdancing, breakbeats and it'll never cease and on that note we say peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted April 20, 2002 Share Posted April 20, 2002 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit 'If every cell that was in your body when you were born died years ago, what are you?' BIOLOGICAL. ANDROID. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 20, 2002 Author Share Posted April 20, 2002 A meat robot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted April 20, 2002 Share Posted April 20, 2002 precisely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 20, 2002 Author Share Posted April 20, 2002 'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.' This is precisely what's wrong with zen as a system for enlightenment. Sure, a shortcut right to the end might work...but for most of us, looking deep within ourselves for a goal that cannot be encapsulated in words or ideas is a little like fishing in the well. The horse sees water, but isn't thirsty...so doesn't drink it. Why pursue zen in search of something one doesn't understand? For this reason, I've been choosing koans in a particular context, using the kabbalistic Tree of Life as a framework (if anyone's interested, tonight's koan deals with Keter.) Not only is the infinite implied, but matters of cosmology, self and existance are contained within the koans for particular reflection. My apologies to the zen masters, for this is not true zen...but these american horses aren't quite thirsty yet. Enough hippy-babble. On to the zen: 'What is the purpose of meaning?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cmdr. Cracken Posted April 20, 2002 Share Posted April 20, 2002 The purpose of menaing is to give people something to hold on to and live for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 21, 2002 Author Share Posted April 21, 2002 Not bad, monsieur, not bad. Of course, 'sex' and 'videogames' work for that as well... And now for something completely different. "So they didn't like it when I accidentally hit that fishing boat, eh? Big bad submarine swamps innocent schoolkids...bah! I know they were scouting Pearl for a second bombing run. Totally catch us off guard this time. Navy wouldn't hear it. 'You're taking too many medications, Captain. We think you're delusional, Captain.' Well, I'll just show them what a delusional captain can do with a nuclear attack submarine! With the crew ashore, I'll commandeer this boat and just waddle my butt across the ocean, put a few torpedoes into Kansai airport and see how far their attack on Pearl Harbor gets this time!" The last koan in my planned series will be posted tonight. Maybe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted April 21, 2002 Share Posted April 21, 2002 Twenty five years from now, Kansai will be underwater on it's own. Hold your fire! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 21, 2002 Author Share Posted April 21, 2002 Kansai International Airport is actually an extremely cleverly built aircraft carrier that transforms into a giant city-smashing robot. You think 9-11 was bad, just wait till this mojo monster gets its hands on Los Angeles... Kylilin: that was some crunchy stuff. My head's still eating it. Daily zen: 'What is the price of existance?' *(Looks through his wallet)* I hope it isn't more than two bucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted April 21, 2002 Share Posted April 21, 2002 They seem to have omitted that in the documentary I saw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zargon Posted April 23, 2002 Share Posted April 23, 2002 are you sure you didnt drink too much and confuse this with Macross, Zoomie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylilin Posted April 23, 2002 Share Posted April 23, 2002 I have posted this previously in other threads long since forgotten, but since we ar eon the topic of asking questions with no clear answers, I figure this would be perfect: What? What is a party if it doesn't really rock? What is a poet? All balls, no cock What is a war if it doesn't have a general? What's channel nine if it doesn't have Arsenio? What is life if you don't have fun? What is a what if you ain't got a gun? What's Ali without Shaheed Muhammad? Nothing. Calpekur makes you vomit What is a Quest if the players ain't willing? What is a pence if you don't have a shilling? Excuse me if I'm chillin, hey what, say what What's a fat man without food in his gut? What's a child birth, without the umbilical? What's United Parcel, without the deliverer? What's momma-san, without poppa-san? What's martial arts without Daniel-San? What's Rasheed without Tonya, Tamika? What's orange juice and Doug E. Doug without Shaniqua? Not a not a not a, not a damn thing What's Duke Ellington without that swing? What's Alex Haley if it doesn't have roots? What's a weekend if you ain't knockin boots? What is a nation, without any unity? What is a child who doesn't know puberty? What is my label when I exit boom status? What's menage-a-tois, or, that is: What is sex when you have three people? What are laws if they ain't fair and equal? What's Clark Kent without a telephone booth? What is a liquor if it ain't 80 proof? What are the youth if they ain't rebellin? What's Ralph Cramden, if he ain't yellin at Ed Norton, what is coke snortin? What is position if there is no contortin? What is hip-hop if it doesn't have violence? Chill for a minute, Zoom Rabbit said silence *four second pause* What is a glock if you don't have a clip? What's a lollipop without the Good Ship? What's S&M if you don't have chains? What's a con artist if he doesn't have brains? What's America without greed and glamour? What's an MC if he doesn't have stamina? What's music fractured without Mr. Walt? What's Trugoy without a phrase called torte? What's Kris Lighty if he wasn't such a baby? What is a woman if she didn't say maybe? Baby laid down, I removed the frown What would be my penal cord if it wasn't brown? What is a paper without a president? What is a compound without a element? What is a jam if you don't spike the punch? Was it Bruce Lee if you don't like brunch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zargon Posted April 23, 2002 Share Posted April 23, 2002 um....whoa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zargon Posted April 23, 2002 Share Posted April 23, 2002 Originally posted by Kylilin What is a party if it doesn't really rock? lame What is a poet? All balls, no cock yes What is a war if it doesn't have a general? civil What is life if you don't have fun? hell What is a Quest if the players ain't willing? suffrage What's a fat man without food in his gut? hungry What's martial arts without Daniel-San? straight What's Duke Ellington without that swing? dead What's Alex Haley if it doesn't have roots? lost What's a weekend if you ain't knockin boots? frustrating What is a nation, without any unity? see the middle east What is a child who doesn't know puberty? young What are laws if they ain't fair and equal? unjust What's Clark Kent without a telephone booth? a panzy What is a liquor if it ain't 80 proof? water What are the youth if they ain't rebellin? boring What is hip-hop if it doesn't have violence? techno? What is a glock if you don't have a clip? worthless and empty What's S&M if you don't have chains? sex What's a con artist if he doesn't have brains? caught What's America without greed and glamour? canada? What's an MC if he doesn't have stamina? premature ejaculator? What is a woman if she didn't say maybe? raped What is a paper without a president? scrap thats all I can answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 23, 2002 Author Share Posted April 23, 2002 I'm still trying to figure out the connection between the Honeymooners and cocaine... I think a compound without elements is called zen. The last time I went out for brunch, I was harrassed by Bruce Lee's ghost. Coincidence? I think not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylilin Posted April 24, 2002 Share Posted April 24, 2002 actually, every question in that barrage of questions I posted has the same answer, can you guess what it is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted April 24, 2002 Share Posted April 24, 2002 I give this thread five big-ass aspirins. After reading it, that's how many I needed to kill my headache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 24, 2002 Author Share Posted April 24, 2002 I think I have the answer! Is it: 'Nothing?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylilin Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 Yay for Zoomie, I ran out of gold stars, so I'll give you this: , is that ok with you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cmdr. Cracken Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 Zoom! I need some information, less information, more advice! I'm gonna buy a sword soon, most likely a Katana blade, since i favor asian swords moreso than European, and i was wondering what i should look for in a FULLY FUCNTIONAL I CAN KILL YOU WITH IT Katana blade? What things should i hear the goofy man in the hat who stands behind the counter say? should i even listen to him at all? WHat the Hell is this Tang thing i keep hearing about? I also hear stainless steel=crap. true? remember, i wish to use it incase the apocalypse comes and all modern technology is deemed usless, so swords will be my only option for defense. Price, what's a good one? how should i care for said sword when i get it? and is there anything else i should know? Thx in advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 If i had to pick a 'no modern tech' weapon, it would be a <b>gun</b> considering those are almost ancient weapons. my musket will beat your sword every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 26, 2002 Author Share Posted April 26, 2002 Nute...precious Nute...you would have to hit me with that musket the first time (unlikely, given the smooth-bore musket's notorious lack of accuracy) and then watch helplessly as I ran over and cut you in half while you were reloading. Go with a rifle instead--you'll live longer. Well, Crackmonkey, here's some advice on katanas. It is true that stainless steel is crap for a sword blade. It works fine in a shorter weapon, but a longer sword blade needs to flex and spring...and stainless is too brittle for that. It's best to stick with high-carbon steel (sometimes called 'spring' steel) and just take the time to keep it well-oiled so it doesn't rust. Three-in-one oil is okay, as are any gun oils...but for the samurai sword, 'choji' oil is the standard. If you can't find it, the recipe is easy: 99% mineral oil, 1% clove oil. Let's cut right to the chase. You want Highlander's sword, don'tcha? Of course you do. An antique folded-steel blade, choji-ba homon with a yakidashi (wavy lines on it), that cuts right through armor, swords, people, etc. An old-fashioned work of art that still outperforms any steel blade made by a machine--now we're talking! Those handmade, folded steel blades are actually fairly easy to find here in the US, although their sixty-year old wooden handles aren't really up to the challenge of heavy cutting. Many Japanese officer's swords were privately commissioned from master sword smiths...and very, very rarely an antique (100 years plus) blade will turn up in imperial military mountings. I have two gendaito (WW2 era, handmade) of my own that I bought at a local pawn shop--they also turn up in auctions and antique stores, but be prepared to pay more at the latter two places. Even from a pawn merchant, be prepared to shell out as much as $1000 for a true gendaito. Important: many WW2 officer's blades were machine made, which isn't what you want at all. Get a second opinion on whether it's handmade or 'fake' before you buy it. If your budget is somewhat less, there are many sword merchants on line who offer modern spring steel swords. If you buy one at a store, you'll pay more, but I think it's worth the extra $cashdough to be able to handle the thing and inspect it for faults before buying. The most important thing I check is to look down the back of the blade, to see if it's straight; if it's off it won't perform correctly. Also, is the handle wobbly (no good)? Are there cracks in the steel (totally no good)? Tangs: full tang only. If you're buying a decent sword, the full tang should be a given. In most cheaper 'wall' swords the tang only goes far enough into the handle to hold the blade on, and won't keep the sword together in a fight. You want steel going all the way down the handle, like rebar through concrete. If you want to talk to others about a particular modern sword maker's work, there is usually good advice in the forums at swordforum.com. Just be warned--they're d**ks over there... Is that enough advice? Buy a real one from a pawn broker for about $1000 and keep it well-oiled, pretty much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 I WOULD have picked something better than a musket, but I assumed ammo would be hard to come by and I would have to make my own musket balls. Plus, muskets tended to be fairly long and made excellent melee weapons especially when the user has a bayonet handy. I want one of those Chinese semi-automatic crossbows. Best invention ever* *in the field of crossbow technology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted April 26, 2002 Share Posted April 26, 2002 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit Nute...precious Nute...you would have to hit me with that musket the first time (unlikely, given the smooth-bore musket's notorious lack of accuracy) and then watch helplessly as I ran over and cut you in half while you were reloading. Go with a rifle instead--you'll live longer. I can see it now: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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