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Love Advice...


ZePhyR

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my sympathy to you both groovy, darky

 

i think that old song says it best,

 

tell me quick, ain't love a kick, in the headdddddddddddddd

 

and is certainly is

 

my advice to you darky would be to be as nice to her as possible and try to appear like you still really like and miss her, but also try to have an air of confidence about you. show her what she's missing. it’s scientifically proven that a confidant male gives off a hormone that females find attractive (of course that may not be true but i remember reading it somewhere)

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Whoa, its been a while folks. And my thread is still alive. Yay. Well, things really haven't gotten better for me. Its been so awkward since I asked her to the dance. We were both kind of avoiding each other there for a while. It's wierd. And then on Tuesday morning, she had me throw something away for her while i was going to the garbage. Someone told me that I'm her bitch, and that she had me whipped. Later that class, she told me I should read, and so I did. The kids that were giving me a hard time earlier started calling me HB -- Hallie's Bitch. EVERYBODY was calling me HB that day. At her volleyball game that night, my friend Cole even got her attention, pointed to me and mouthed "HB." Then, the next day, someone wrote HB in my hat. That made things even more awkward. I finally had a serious talk with her on Thursday, and it turns out that she never gave the other person that asked her a yes-or-no answer. She's felt just as awkward as I have. She told me that she liked things the way they were before, and I had to agree with her. I told her we could just go to the dance as friends. That's all I basically wanted in the first place anyway: We could go to the dance as friends. If something more came out of it, great, if not, we could still be friends. I wasn't anticipating everything getting complicated like it has been. We didn't have time to finish our talk, and so i tried calling her thursday night. She didn't return my call, and Friday she wouldn't go somewhere with me to talk. Friday was her birthday, so i gave her a card and we talked for a few minutes after school. She had a volleyball tourney this weekend, and so I told her I would see her Monday. When I went to my work for a lunch break today from Manager Training, one of my managers pulled me aside and told me she needed to talk with me. She told me, "You have got to dump that girl you're going to Homecoming with." I asked her why, and she said, "It turns out that whole Alaska thing was a lie. She's planning on going to the dance with some other guy. I suggest you blow you off before she does it to you." I asked her who told her all of this, and it turns out it was my friend Katy, who happened to be sitting at a table with Hallie in a class where she was talking to another kid about her plans. I tried calling Katy tonight to see what all Hallie was saying, but she wasn't home. RIght now, I'm planning on calling Hal tomorrow and telling her that if she really wants to go to the dance with the other guy, go, cuz I'm sick of the games you're playing. If she says she really wants to go with me, we've got some more talking to do. If she says fine, I was thinking it would be funny to ask her what one of her friends is doing for the dance. I dunno. Girls like her aren't used to being dumped. It's usually the other way around. I think I'll try to salvage some dignity while i still have some... Post what you guys think, I have to give my buddy Sal a ride home from work, and I'll check the thread when I get home.

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Wow, after all that, and she's screwing around with ur mind.

 

Dump her like a bag of bricks. Betrayal is not something to be taken lightly. If she's pickin sum1 else over you, then it's obvious that she was boldly lying in ur face when u gave her the rose.

 

On the other hand, if ur friend Katy is lying, then this could make you sound like an ass. But since a friend's knowledge is usually right, I suggest going with what I said above.

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Girls.....*sigh* They're all nuts! There's this girl Nicole who i've been attracted to for well over a year, and i've made it obvious from day one. The only problem is that she's dating a guy in college. And he's a real jerk, bad guy, not nice, cheats on her lots but she won't believe it. But the other day she asked me to go to our high schools homecoming dance.....which makes me confused, i figure she's probably just toying with me, so i'm not taking it seriously.......but....girls are strange....

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*shakes head*

 

Guys, I can't believe some of the difficulties you are going through. I know you guys will make it through, just takes some time. Somebody was saying something about confidence......

 

That's a very important thing for you to show to females, whether you just ended you relationship (show her you don't need her) or whether you are trying to get together with her (show her there is nobody better for her than you).

 

 

*reaches for the bottle of Absolut*

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So you've become one of those ppl that doesn't do what they preach? Oh yes, join the club.

 

*gives a bottle of absolut to Leemu Taos*

 

There's more where that came from.

 

*Jedi220 gets off his soap box, but it appears that he was standing on a crate of absolut*

 

BTW, ne1 wanna hear my love problems? I have a long story as well, sure to entertain :D

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Were you talking to me Jedi 220? :confused: I certainly do what I preach.......

 

Thanks for passin' me the bottle. :D If you were standing on a whole crate of it....don't hesitate to pass some bottles around to those in need.....

 

As far as you love problems, that's what this thread is about. If you want to....tell the story.

 

Btw...cool avatar!! ;)

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All I can say is that I am really happy right now. I just found out that I girl that I like who I never thought liked me likes me. I'm not talking about the girl I spilled the beans too. This is a very big surprise but I like it. The only thing that sucks is that I live in California and that she lives in Winsconsin. But I am just happy right now. I could jump out the window and fly over there twords her! 3heart

:lsduel::duel:

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Okay I know this is a pretty useless situation to talk about, but it is a pretty real one...okay, here goes...

 

Well after starting school a few weeks back, I've kinda met and got to know this one girl...she's really amazing, you know those rare ones that have the looks, personality...perfect really...I've seen her about school for a few years, but it's only now (after most of the year left school after exams) that we got to know each other...we get on really well, I always hang out with her in drama, english and general studies classes...I like her a lot, and I think she likes me a lot too...but I think you can tell this isn't going anywhere good...a week ago I was talking to her friends, and found out she's got a b/f...but what's more I've heard they've been havin troubles, but are still together...dammit I just feel so helpless...there's nothing I can do huh?:(...

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Originally posted by Guardian Omega

He's already suceeded in his task, Jedi Spy. Heheheh, I'm glad I don't have to worry about that stuff in 8th grade and I'm not planning to get a date, there's things better than that in my opinion. But from what I can tell, you people are giving good advice. In case I change my mind, I'll come here!:D

 

what do you mean you don't have to deall with that in 8th grade...OF COURSE YOU DO!!!! I've had to deal with it ever since i started skating (4th grade), man you really should keep up with the times. j/k you should be happy you don't have to deal with it man it's a real work out some times

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Originally posted by Darklighter

Okay I know this is a pretty useless situation to talk about, but it is a pretty real one...okay, here goes...

 

Well after starting school a few weeks back, I've kinda met and got to know this one girl...she's really amazing, you know those rare ones that have the looks, personality...perfect really...I've seen her about school for a few years, but it's only now (after most of the year left school after exams) that we got to know each other...we get on really well, I always hang out with her in drama, english and general studies classes...I like her a lot, and I think she likes me a lot too...but I think you can tell this isn't going anywhere good...a week ago I was talking to her friends, and found out she's got a b/f...but what's more I've heard they've been havin troubles, but are still together...dammit I just feel so helpless...there's nothing I can do huh?:(...

yeah there is something you can do but i don't recomend it...The other option is you wait till they break up (if they do) and think about it then or you could just ask her out and pretend you didn't know and see what happens

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Darky, the worst thing you can do is try to "speed up" the breakup. It's eventual, but you should have nothing to do with it. If it ever comes back at you, like if she finds out, then she'll hate you with a passion.

 

Ratmjedi, long distance relationships will work if you want them to, keep that in mind if you get weary about "The Cal-Wis" thing.

 

Leemu Taos, I was talking to you, but I thought with the bottle of Absolut you were implying that you don't show confidence. My mistake, hope there's no hard feelings.

 

And I also wanted to make sure I wasn't stealing ZePhyR's thread.

 

So here it goes.....*sigh*

 

Let's set the scene....approx 1 year ago in an upstairs English class room, beginning of the year.

 

Ok, i'll cut the corny ****....

 

A girl that sits in front of me doesn't strike my eye until a few days later, and I find her witty, shy, and cute....probably just what I look for in some1.

 

Fast forward a few months.

 

Upon his trustability, I tell my best friend. He promises not to say a word to ne1. I believe him, but in the end he's the main cause for what happens.

 

Fast forward a few more months.

 

After school, when nobody I know is around except her, it's pretty apparent that I was flirting with her. There is much fun, laughter, and kabitzing.

 

1 week later, I find out I was caught. Someone had saw that I was flirting with her, and what made it worse was that it was one of her friends.....bad move. I didn't want to ask her out yet, just sorta soften her up to me. But when someone else knows who you like in my high school, it spreads like smallpox.

 

Fast forward to about June, the day before my school gets out.

 

One of my friends conspire with his girlfriend and tell the girl I like.

 

*Ouch*

 

And of course, the big laugh was that every1 knew that she used to like me....except me.

 

The summer passes, everyone forgets about it, including her, but I still do like her. But I can't even look her in the face....so....

 

I turn to my second family....The Swampies.

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Originally posted by Jedi220

 

Leemu Taos, I was talking to you, but I thought with the bottle of Absolut you were implying that you don't show confidence. My mistake, hope there's no hard feelings.

 

 

 

Hey, no problem! ;) I was simply "suggesting" an activity that I would do to pass a little bit of time away from school and that whole atmosphere, that's all. I was more referring to showing confidence around his/her friends and everyone while at school.

 

 

 

The summer passes, everyone forgets about it, including her, but I still do like her. But I can't even look her in the face....so....

 

I turn to my second family....The Swampies.

 

 

 

Well Jedi 220, you know one thing is for sure......we'll never turn you down!!!!!:D

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I know that long distance relationships can last if you want them to. I made my last one last but I guess the other girl didn't want to. But I'm happy now and hope that this relationship lasts.

You guys are my family online here. You guys get to hear it first and know it all. I would just like to give you all a bucket of :maize: for being there and a :cheers: for you older guys! :D:wavey:

:lsduel::duel:

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Just a little update on my situation...

 

Well, I did end up talking to Katy the other night like I said I would. She told me that someone else asked Hallie to the dance, and she said no, and that she already said yes to someone, even though she doesn't really want to go with him. And that she made up the alaska thing to get out of going on the date. Needless to say, this upset me a little bit. Ever since I asked her, I felt as if I had been led on, treated like crap, and she even planned to ditch me in the end. Maybe I was leading myself on a bit too.

 

Sunday night, I called her from work and asked her if it was true that she made up the Alaska thing so she could get out of the date. It caught her way off guard, and the only thing she could ask was who told me that. I told her that I had heard it from a few people. I told her that if she really wanted to go to the dance with someone else, to go, cuz i was tired of the games we were playing. I can't really remember all of what I said, I just remember that I admitted to her that i liked her a lot, she said she didn't want to say no becuz she didn't want to hurt me. Most of the time I was on the phone with her, we didn't talk, we just sat there. She said she was sorry, I told her maybe we could talk at school tomorrow, and hung up.

 

I missed my first class with her today cuz i was ordering senior pictures (which came to $809 i might add). I came half-way through my second period, then went out to lunch with some friends. I was trying not to show that I was hurt, and by this point, it wasn't really bugging me anyway. I had gotten used to the thought already. She tried to act normal around me, but things still didn't seem right. And apparently I was being mean to her. We kind of started to argue in class, so we decided to leave the room and talk at a table in the hall way.

 

I told her I felt played and betrayed, and we argued about that for a few minutes. I don't really feel like sharing all the juicy details, but after arguing for a minute, we just talked about everything. Basically, she isn't ready for a relationship yet. She just wants to enjoy being single for a while. She doesn't think she'll be going to the dance at all. She apologized for everything, we talked about things for another few minutes until class was over, and decided that we can definitely still be friends. We hugged, and that was that.

 

She told my brother that I hate her after that class, but that's not true either. I still like her a lot, but friends is all we are going to be for now, and that's fine with me. Who knows what could happen a few months down the road?

 

Right now, I need to focus on other things: School, work, getting out of getting plastered this weekend with some friends, and other girls ;) . I'm glad this thread is still alive. Keep posting guys. :D

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I'm sorry to hear what happened with you and that girl. I was in a bit of a rut awhile back and just felt like things were getting very confusing and complicated. I had 4 girls in my life.

 

Brionna which was my first love and that I had broken up with to be with Dania. I basicaly broke her heart and was on the biggest guilt trip ever.

 

Then there was Dania who I left Brionna for. We had a good relationship untill she decided to that she wasn't sure that she would be able to stay faithfull to me. Then we broke up for a weak and got back together a week later. She was also my first long distance relationship since she lived 4 hours away.

 

Then there was Jess who I told you guys that I spilled the beans about telling her my feelings for her. I had known her for a year and had a crush on. I told her but she didn't know whether she had feelings for me. I was very frustrated because I wanted to know whether she had feelings for me. She played a lot of mind games and I just got tired of playing her games and leading myself on.

 

Then there is Laura who I am currently not seeing but we want to go out as soon as I get to meet her when I go to Winsconsin. We talk a lot and I think that we will last and eventually go out when the time comes.

 

The sucky thing is that Brionna and Dania want to be good friends with me and we all know that it is very hard for ex's to be good friends after the relationship has ended. Thing's are going to be hard but hopefully things will work out in the end for the better.

 

All I know is that me and Laura are very happy now! :D

 

I hope that thing's will get better for you ZePhyR and for everyone else who is having problems. You guy's heard me when me and Dania broke up so I know thing's will get better eventually in the long run. Me and Laura had no clue about our attraction to one another but we were right under each other's nose and didn't even know it.

:duel::lsduel:

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Originally posted by ZePhyR

We hugged, and that was that.

 

Wow, turned out better than I thought. It's probably for the best it turned out that way, and now you can focus on other things now that u know that u've gotten that off ur chest.

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Wow, I'm starting to really like this forum. Everybody that I've been talking to at school has been telling me that its her loss, not mine. I'm also noticing other girls eyeing me now. Hmm, this publicity might not have been all that bad afterall. I still like Hallie a lot, but I feel like I can hold my feelings for her at bay now that we've had that talk. We were getting along really well today, too. Kind of like how things were before it got all messy. Ah yes... Yahoo Pool time.

 

Cheers. :guiness:

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