Clefo Posted September 14, 2002 Share Posted September 14, 2002 Announcer: Live, from the Imperial Palace on Courascant! Welcome to the 2001-2002 GB.com Excellence Awards! A night to celebrate all that is good with the best forum on the Lucasforums network! With musical performances by: Everclear, Kylie Minogue, Eminem, The Doors, Fleetwood Mac, AND Harry Connick Jr. And now, fresh off his world tour of Iceland, here is your host: Billy Crystal! (There is a longish pause on the stage, nobody emerges. After a few minutes a stagehand gets up to the microphone and speaks in a hurried, nervous voice) Stagehand: Sorry everyone, but Mr. Crystal seems to be missing. So we’re going to start a musical interlude and find an alternate host. So um, ladies and gentlemen here is EVERCLEAR! (Stagehand rushes off stage, and we are treated to the song “I Will Buy You a New Life” After which a familiar face from those of you around for the Forummy Awards Emerges) Mike: Hello everyone! (Various “Oh no” and “Dammit Martha, we wasted our money” cries are heard) Mike: Welcome to the 2001-2002 GB.com Excellence Awards! Now GB.com has now officially been a year old, and as a treat to the peons we have made another awards thing, similar to the Forummy Awards. Now don’t you think that I’m mentioning those awards just because the person who came up with those is writing this script! I am WAAY above that. (Mike sweats and gets shifty eyed) Mike: Anyway, I just want you restless people in the audience to know that I may not be Billy Crystal, but I can damn well host an award show as well as him! (Suddenly, 2 Stormtroopers and a normal looking guy barge on stage pointing blaster rifles at Mike) Mike: Excuse me; I paid my taxes this year. ST1: We are capturing this awards show in the name of the Emperor ST2: Palpitine! Mike: That’s nice, and what are you going to do with it once you have it ST1: We will strike a crushing blow into the Rebel scum, by MAKING MARTHA STEWART THE HOST! ST2: Vader! Mike: Ok, who’s the normal looking guy? ST1: Oh, that’s Jeff; he gave us a lift here Jeff: Yo! ST2: Now where is the control mechanism to this place? (We see a door back behind the Troopers saying “Warning: Deathtrap, only an illiterate idiot should open this door!) ST1: Could it be in THIS door? ST2: Farve! Mike: No, that’s the deathtrap. ST1: Ah-HA you WANT us to think that’s a deathtrap, when in reality it is the control center! ST2: Viper! (Both enter the door) ST1: Aww, what a cute bunny Bunny Voice: Bite me doughboy (Destruction and death can be heard) Jeff: Wait dude, those guys have my keys! Mike No wait! (Jeff enters the deathtrap; more screams of death can be heard) Mike: (Shaking head) Anyway we’ve got a great show. Here to present the award for Best Newbie is our good friend Mace Windu! (Mace walks on stage) Mace: You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese on Tatooine, sucka? Mike: Erm no Mace: Echuu eh fooda! Mike: Oookay! (Walks away slowly) Mace: Anywho, the best newbie is the new member who has contributed the most to the community in his or her short time being there. The Best Newbie is one who could win the top award some year... And your winner is…. Darth Homer! (Viper enters on stage wearing a straight jacket and surrounded by 2 white coated men with cattle prods) Viper: Yo you *bad word* I’m here to present the Best *bad word* Avatar. The *bad word* criteria for the *bad word* avatar means it isn’t *bad word* or *bad word* *bad word* *bad word**bad word* (Zap!) OW! You *bad word* *bad word* *bad word* *bad word* *bad word* *bad word* (ZAP!) AHHH *bad word* *bad word**bad word* (ZAAAAAAAAAP! Viper falls to the floor) MIWC1: Sorry about that, (MIWC2 nods) our winner is... Boba Rhett (Both Men in White Coats drag Viper off the stage Mike: To present the award for Best Thread is Murray: The Demonic Talking Skull (Murray plops onto the podium, Mike walks away) Murray: Mortal fools! Do you think this awards show will be your salvation? I will MARCH right through your pathetic planet! Random Audience Member: March? Murray: You shut up. Anyway, I am here to present a fool with the award for Best Thread. The criterion for this award is a thread that is thought provoking, full of discussion, and intelligence. So that gets rid of Tell You I will right off the bat. The winner is: Second Contest: Story! (Murray plops away) Mike: Here to present the award for Funniest Forummer is a man who KNOWS the definition of funny: Carrot Top! CT: Hey everyone! Dial 1-800-callatt! Audience Silent) CT: I just flew in from Baltimore and boys are my arms tired! Audience Silent again, some are weeping) CT: (jumps in the air) I’m extreme! Audience: (Heavy sobbing now, some sounds of suicide is heard) CT: Anyway, the requirements for funniest forum member are the member has to be funny! Like me! Audience: (Sounds of despair) CT: And the winner is... Darth Homer (CT walks off the stage) Audience: (Applauds enthusiastically!) Mike: Now, presenting the award for Prettiest Forummer: Me! I am one SEXY man, so naturally I will present it. And the winner is STTCT (Author's Note: Horny bastards) (Mike nods) Mike: For the International award, I will present it in Spanish: El " sabor internacional más sabroso " va a la persona que come pollos mientras que baila el mambo con el esclavo de su abuela. Y la mayoría de la persona que consume de los pescados es Young David! Y por un voto! Cómo es grande debe besar sus pasteles! Mike: To present our last award, Most Valuable Forummer, is someone who embodies all that is good in the world, Regis Philban! (Regis enters) Regis: Hello MIKE. How ARE you TODAY? Mike: Fine I guess Mister Philban. Regis: Okay Mike: For 1 million dollars, who won the Most Valuable Forummer this year? Mike: Regis, just tell us Regis: Is it A: Viper B: Bill Thrawn C: Boba Rhett D: Havoc Mike: Dammit, tell us. Regis: Would you like a lifeline? (Mike punches Regis in the face and takes the envelope) Mike: Sorry about that. The winner is: Boba Rhett (Mike bows) Mike: And that ends our show for tonight. Congratulations to all who won, and to those who didn’t: You have shamed your family Thank You! (Mike exits the stage) Thanks to: Boba Rhett (For organizing this, kinda) YOU (For voting on this) George Lucas (For no damn reason) The Stormtrooper sequence at the beginning was an homage to "Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Debacle" MST3King which you can find on Website Number 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted September 14, 2002 Share Posted September 14, 2002 Thank you, tahnk you all...I ....um, how do you change font? Wait, no I got it...Thank you all for helping me become the spammer i am today.....wait, that should be Forummer...how do you delete? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted September 14, 2002 Share Posted September 14, 2002 *runs past podium after Carrottop* Come'ere you little punk!! *incapacitates CT and takes him to torture room* Say it... "Dial 1-800-call-at*ZZZAAAAPPPP!!!!*AAAAH!!! Now, do it like I told you... "Dial 1800-cal*ZAAAAAAPPP!!!!!!*AAAAAAAHHH!!!! I warned you, do it like i said.... "Dial 1-8*ZAAAPPP!!!*AAAHH!!!*ZAPPP!!*AAAH!!*ZAP!**Zap!*AAAH!! Now, are you going to cooperate? "yes....." Ok, go ahead... "10-10-321...."*sob!!* Very good....but I still have to put you down.... *various sounds of screaming come from the backstage area during the rest of the show.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted September 14, 2002 Share Posted September 14, 2002 Wahhh, I lost. Congrats to everyone who won. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young David Posted September 14, 2002 Share Posted September 14, 2002 Originally posted by Clefo Mike: For the International award, I will present it in Spanish: El " sabor internacional más sabroso " va a la persona que come pollos mientras que baila el mambo con el esclavo de su abuela. Y la mayoría de la persona que consume de los pescados es Young David! Y por un voto! Cómo es grande debe besar sus pasteles! I believe my name is in there But why didn't I get the award for best avatar, huh? Why, Why, Why!!! Mine is WAY better than Rhett's (Gimme the names of the ones who voted and what they voted!) BTW: Altavista Babblefish gave me this for translation: The "more flavorful international flavor" goes to the person who eats chickens whereas she dances mambo with the slave of his grandmother. And most of the person who consumes of the fish he is Young David! And by a vote! How he is great must kiss his pies! I don't eat chicken and I don't dance the mambo, and my grandmother doesn't have a slave ... The rest I don't understand at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted September 14, 2002 Author Share Posted September 14, 2002 It was purposeful gibberish mind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherack Nhar Posted September 14, 2002 Share Posted September 14, 2002 Oh please YD, just show some appreciation, that's all -_- *weeps in a corner* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted September 14, 2002 Share Posted September 14, 2002 Originally posted by Sherack Nhar Oh please YD, just show some appreciation, that's all -_- *weeps in a corner* Yeah! Some of us didn't even get nominated! *farts* oh yeah.. *weeps in a corner* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted September 15, 2002 Share Posted September 15, 2002 Dang! I cleaned up! I think I'm going to pass on the awards though. Not very fair/fun to give myself awards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted September 15, 2002 Share Posted September 15, 2002 Yeah, I think the awards were a little skewed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wraith 8 Posted September 15, 2002 Share Posted September 15, 2002 yeah.. i didnt get an award :(.. while some got 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jatt13 Posted September 15, 2002 Share Posted September 15, 2002 i didn't win! oh well, i don't care. congrats, everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted September 15, 2002 Share Posted September 15, 2002 Congrats, everyone. I must say though that it was the shortest awards show i've ever seen. We should have had a more awards, ya know, be a little more creative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xwing guy Posted September 16, 2002 Share Posted September 16, 2002 I could have got the award for making some of the most contervasal and offensive posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted September 16, 2002 Share Posted September 16, 2002 Congrats winners! (By winners I mean Rhett and Homer....oh yeah and Young David) I agree though, that we need more categories like: Most Thoughtful Member Most Impressive Links Best Sig (Text, not sig image) Greatest Debater Member most likely to stay at Lucasforums forever Member most present on boards Best account name Most Whiny Most Inquisitive Most informative Best quiz thread etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted September 16, 2002 Share Posted September 16, 2002 I do agree that I thought there would have been more categories...but we can always hold more votes...and it wasn't just Rhett, Y. David, and me was it? *rereads post* ok, point taken...thank you, anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted September 16, 2002 Share Posted September 16, 2002 Yeah, i see Havoc has an imagination. Here's some more: Worst Member Best deserter (ie, Rommel, compa, jay vizion, leon etc.) Worst thread (hey, why not?) Worst excuse for a moderator and thats all i can think of right now that haven't already been said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paragon_Leon Posted September 17, 2002 Share Posted September 17, 2002 Best deserter ? BEST DESERTER ?????? ***takes mod stick that most people forgot about*** why you.... i'm here. i'm not going away. i'm still guiding threads as a mod should. see how many you can count that do all three since the forum's inception. then weep with guilt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted September 17, 2002 Share Posted September 17, 2002 Originally posted by Paragon_Leon Best deserter ? BEST DESERTER ?????? ***takes mod stick that most people forgot about*** why you.... i'm here. i'm not going away. i'm still guiding threads as a mod should. see how many you can count that do all three since the forum's inception. then weep with guilt. I new i'd get a post out of you for that one. Now all i need is for kvan and rom to post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paragon_Leon Posted September 17, 2002 Share Posted September 17, 2002 fine by me, just STICK TO THE THREAD NOW ... ***puts mod-stick down*** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wraith 8 Posted September 17, 2002 Share Posted September 17, 2002 temper temper :D.... shee... another overworked Dutch guy i would like to niminate myself for: Member most likely to stay at Lucasforums forever Member most present on boards Best account name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.