Eets Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 *breaks down and cries* Oh thank god! *kisses havoc on the forehead continually* Bless you, child! Bless you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 You're gonna maim him horribly, aren't you Havoc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted October 17, 2002 Author Share Posted October 17, 2002 Originally posted by Rogue Nine You're gonna maim him horribly, aren't you Havoc? Shh! You'll ruin the suprise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 HAHAHA! I'm a Jawa, how much more disfigured can I get? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 oooo! Can I maim him? Can I? Please? Nah, I'd rather kill off some key figures to mess with other char's heads and go down in an epic battle...just like a good Sith should... hmm, a "Good" Sith....that's an interesting thought... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young David Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 Originally posted by Eets HAHAHA! I'm a Jawa, how much more disfigured can I get? Don't tempt me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 We have ways of making you more disfigured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 Besides, eets, even if Havoc and YD don't kill you off, i always can. Anyways, Good Chapter Havoc, that was much more interesting than i expected. Although you certainly didn't make it easy for me, now i gotta figure out someway to fix the Leon/Havoc thing. Geeze Anyways, i got the next one. I'll try to have it up tonight, but no promises, i got sorta alot of homework. Oh, and if Rhetts really not gonna write then we should just write one every now and then. We really need every perspective, even if its not very much. Which is always why we need the Sith, but hopefully Ferg will handle that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted October 17, 2002 Author Share Posted October 17, 2002 This is for everyone and anyone's benefit: Star Wars: Dark Tides(WIP) in Microsoft Word Document Format (.doc) CLICK HERE! It will be updated just about daily or as needed! Now you have no excuse for not reading the story! It's all there without ANY filler posts, chat posts, or expository posts! Tie check your PM's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young David Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 Where's thumbs up smilie when you need one Nice work Havoc ... Now there is no excuse > <- this should be a smilie too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 how's that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jatt13 Posted October 17, 2002 Share Posted October 17, 2002 Oh, and Eets, Don't temp me! I had no quams killing off Jatt13, you'd be just an afterthought! Nah, I'd rather kill off some key figures to mess with other char's heads and go down in an epic battle... i could have done that! but know, i don't kill anyone and die in a skirmish... anyway, great chapters, guys! the suspense and intrigue is building! and i bet a jawa would look more disfigured with his arms, legs, and nose cut off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted October 18, 2002 Share Posted October 18, 2002 Originally posted by Jatt13 i could have done that! but know, i don't kill anyone and die in a skirmish... no you couldn't...you're not a jedi or sith or were a main char...look how Fett died...screaming like a little girl...at least you went out in a glorious ball of fire...coulda been worse...you coulda screamed.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted October 18, 2002 Share Posted October 18, 2002 Chapter Thirteen: Face-off The two men walked beside each other down the scenic streets of Iphgin. The street bustled with creatures of all species, some wondering around aimlessly as if lost, others crowded tiny booths and shops looking to buy worthless trinkets as souvenirs, while still others tasted exotic Iphgin cuisine in the world’s numerous restraints. They tried to blend into the worlds diverse tourist group, but they stuck out like a wampa on Tatooine. “Are you sure?” Came a cackle over the comlink. “…Yes.” As Havoc and Tie entered the cantina, they saw Leon sitting at booth in the corner, sipping on a re concoction. Havoc sneered, “You didn’t tell me he’d be here.” “Will you stop it already Havoc! That was a long time ago, you two used to be great friends.” Tie said, exasperated. “Well, that was a long time ago, too.” Havoc retorted. “Look, just try to make the best of it. We all go way back.” The two approached the table. The cantina’s other customers paid no attention to the group. They were a rather rough crowd, which surprised Tie for a planet like Iphgin, even in a hole in the wall place like this. He saw a two Rodians huddled in a booth in the corner, talking secretly. Tie decided to keep an eye on them; he’d never trusted their kind. The other denizens of the bar looked harmless enough, though, most simply chatted openly about business or life, or what not. “How’s it going Tie?” He lowered his voice, “Havoc?” Redirecting his attention to Tie. “So what are we doing here anyways? We could have met much more easily in one of my places.” “No, the drinks are better here. Bartender!” he screamed, “We need something hard and Corellian over here.” The bartender nodded. “Alright, now I know you didn’t call me here just to share a drink, what did you want to talk about?” a man, delivering their drinks, walked over to the table. Tie waited for the man to leave but he turned to him instead. “Excuse me sir, but I need to talk to you gentlemen…privately.” Tie scoffed. “What, you wanna tip? Leave us a lone.” “I don’t think you understand me, sir.” The man pulled a blaster from underneath his clothes. “Now, what were you gentlemen saying?” Tie nodded slightly, followed by Havoc, and then Leon nodded his approval. This sure wasn’t the first time this had happened. Suddenly a bright flash filled the room and the deadly scarlet bolt struck the man’s chest. In a cloud of smoke the man dropped face first onto the table, never even having a chance to react. “Well,” Tie started, not at all phased by the shooting, “that’s about all there is to that. Nice work, Havoc.” “Uh…Tie?” Havoc said, nodding in the direction behind Tie. Tie turned and saw four additional men, blasters drawn, coming towards them. The other guests were now screaming and flowing into the streets, trying not to get caught in the conflict. The Iphgini people, Tie noted, had obviously not been accustomed to such behavior. Tie noticed, ironically, that the four men were people he’d tagged as harmless when he’d walked in, and the Rodians were still sitting quietly in the corner. “Havoc, Leon, it’s been fun.” Tie stated solemnly. Havoc suppressed a smile. “Well, then, I guess this good bye.” The four men looked curiously at each other, grinning like idiots. When they were no further than five feet away, all three men dropped to the floor in perfect unison. All three men had their blasters ready before they hit the ground, and as soon as they hit they all fired, not giving the men any chance to react. Three bolts arced across the short distance and hit three of the men at almost the same time. All three attackers crumpled to the ground. A fourth bolt, fired by the dumbfounded fourth assassin scarred the floor between Havoc and Leon. A quick sweep by Havoc dropped the man to the floor, where Tie and Leon scooped up his blaster, leaving the man defenseless. The three stood over the man, all of them staring daggers at the man, who in a trembling fashion looked slowly up at his former prey. “Please, you didn’t really think we’d be that easy to capture, did you” Tie mocked, his attitude changing. Leon joined in on the fun. “Yeah, but ya know, Tie? It was pretty fun, haven’t done that in a while.” “I never liked to pick on amateurs though.” Havoc laughed. The man remained silent, terrified. “Well, at least it was some good practice. I have a feeling we’re gonna need it.” Tie stated, only half joking. He looked back at the man. “So, lets get down to business. Did the Sith send you?” The man stammered. “Wh-hat? I-I don’t k-know nothin about the S-Sith.” “Oh yeah?” Havoc said, “let’s see if this will help you remember something.” Havoc put the barrel of his blaster at the man’s forehead. “I-I t-told you, I don’t know n-nothin.” The man breathed deeply. “I-I was hired by Hannibalscipio. P-please don’t kill me.” “Hannibalscipio!” Tie exclaimed. Before either man could answer a piercing laugh was heard at the entrance to the cantina. “Somebody call my name?” The dark man said mockingly. The man was tall with a shaved head and what looked like half a machine grafted to his head. The left side of his body was organic, although covered in a bleak grey metal, but the right looked like something a Jawa had drug in, then took apart and reassembled. Extending roughly from his right shoulder joint was a massive mechanical arm, the end of which looked like a giant metal claw. His left hand held a blaster. Tie froze in utter disbelief. He’d heard that his nemesis Hannibalscipio still lived from the traitor Jatt, but until now he never truly believed it. Havoc spoke for him. “Leon, call security, get them to come and remove this freak.” “Oooh, feisty as ever I see, Havoc.” He turned his attention to Tie. “So what the matter, Tie? Scared?” Tie said nothing, but his blaster whipped up and fired a quick shot at the cyborg. Hannibal did nothing. The bolt hit his shoulder and to his astonishment left only a black scar. The man didn't falter one centimeter. Hannibal laughed. “Ha! My armor can withstand any attack from your pathetic weapons. In fact, I should thank you, Tie, for shooting me down. Now I can get my ultimate revenge.” The dark man let out a sinister laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted October 18, 2002 Author Share Posted October 18, 2002 Great Chapter Tie! At last hannibalscipio is revealed! Star Wars: Dark Tides(WIP) [updated Oct 18] MS Word format (.doc) CLICK HERE! I think I'll let Tie take the next Dark Eye chapter and finish the fight. I'm extremely busy at work today! Carry On! Ok, and Rhett said after he catches up and gets up to speed, he'll start writing for the Jedi. Woohoo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted October 18, 2002 Share Posted October 18, 2002 Alrighty then, i'll try to have the next episode up tonight, but its home coming tonight so it may not be till tommorrow morning. Oh, and YD, if you wanna write one go ahead, i doubt it will have anything to do with part anyways so just post it whenever if you do write one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 Stop the Presses. I have spare time and shall be writing *bum bum bum* the first SITH chapter. So I'll shall get it posted...TODAY:eek: Yes...TODAY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 Originally posted by darthfergie Stop the Presses. I have spare time and shall be writing *bum bum bum* the first SITH chapter. So I'll shall get it posted...TODAY:eek: Yes...TODAY!!! Bet post it quickly then, you only have a few hours left. BTW, mine is soon to come, as well. I'm in the midst of writing it as we speak...er...type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 Chapter 14: Just a Hunch *On the planet Ninistral, the tribes of the Miligonaqin and Garanakakalee are warring. Thousands of warriors clash on the Borntiel plains. The battle is going well for the Miligonaqin. They have taken the critical Hill of Borondie and are raining death down upon the approaching Garanakakalees. The battle is quickly turning bad for the Garanakakalees. They start to retreat in mass numbers. All of the sudden Emperor Menatulza appears in the midst of his men. They rally to his war call. The army reforms for a desperate charge against the hill. The angry hoards of Garanakakalees hit the lines upon Borondie hard. The Miligonaqin are breaking. They are running. The Miligonaqin army is in full retreat. This is a great victory for the Garanakakalee army who had been faring badly in the war. Or it would have been. Unfortunately for the Garanakakalee and for historians a starship came crashing out from the sky and the hill disappeared in a wreath of flame. Forever afterwards it was known as Amartia or “The Burnin Ring of Fire.”* “Red 5 here, fighter is hot and toasty and the Eagle has landed,” declared Artoo. "What?" "He Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire He Went Down, Down, Down And The Flames Went Higher And It Burns, Burns, Burns The Ring Of Fire The Ring Of Fire" *stunned silence for a few moments* “Red 5 please do not clutter up the line with meaningless words and phrases again.” Said a concerned Darth Groovy. “Leader, why do we keep him on the squadron?” “Well partly because he is a 5th cousin of Viper’s and partly because he is a fierce warrior,” said Mitth'raw'nuruodo (who shall forever after be known as Thrawn) “But Sir, he is POSSESSED BY THE DEMON CHUCKLES.” “And Chuckles helps him control his anger. Did you not have a teddy bear when you were a child? Did it not help YOU focus your anger?” “Yes sir, but I used my anger against IT!” “Yes well…whatever works.” “Houston we have a problem.” "What are you mumbling abou-" “Well done Red Squadron. Well done. Did you find him?” The voice of Darth Fergie crackled over the comm unit. “We routed a band of Jedi loving Mercenaries.” “…but you did not find him. Correct?” “No. We did not find him. We shall try harder.” “I would hope so. Emperor Viper is not pleased with the lack of progress in your searches.” “We will not fail you Darth Fergie.” “Good…soon we will have our ultimate vengeance upon the Jedi. Now return to the fleet. We shall wait for the Jedi to show.” “You are sure they will come.” “If valueless lives are at stake…he will come…Now go.” “You heard him. Back to the fleet to regroup and refuel.” “Actually sir, I could not hear anyone since you were speaking on a private line.” replied the precise Darth Groovy “DO NOT CONTRADICT ME! Return to the fleet! Soon we will have our ultimate revenge upon the Jedi!” “YEAH! Let’s win one for the Gipper!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 Hmm...not bad. just a few suggestions: There's an awful lot of anachronism that you should cut out though. Also, you have lots of short, abrupt sentences, especially in the first paragraph that disrupt the flow of the reading. You should try to mold them into longer sentences that flow better. And don't you think the Sith would be more serious and deadly rather than a bunch of goofs? This is a more-or-less serious story and it needs to stay way throughout. There are ways to make it humorous without making it silly and goofy and detracting from the seriousness. Other than that the story part looks good though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 Artoo is a goof and I'm not gonna avoid that. He has to be a goof. But he also has to be a deadly goof and a genius goof. He has a superior intellect hidden behind the visage of Chuckles. You will see...oh yes you will see... The squadron is a bit of the dregs of Sith society. The people who want to be Siths, but just don't have it...so where do they go. Yes they are the cannon fodder! BTW, the first paragraph is just ment to be a side story of no real importance than just introducing the scene. It's suposed to feel different. (I'm hoping to make this a two parter guys. Witht he next part being a confrontation between Jedi and Sith. It will explain the Darth Fergie vs. Eets situation. So no writing my battle! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 Alright, thats fine, i guess, but please try to do something that is at least a little relavent and serious. And for goodness sake avoid triligy and modern day references. Thats just awfull. anyways, here's my next chapter: Chapter 15: Revenge Tie, Havoc, and Leon dive out of the way, each flying in a different direction, as a intense red bolt burned the air where Tie had just been standing. Havoc skidded to a stop as he hit bar. He jumped up and took cover behind the counter. Tie maneuvered behind a table toppled by those fleeing the now empty cantina. Leon rolled as he hit, ending up a table similar to Tie’s but on the opposite side of the room. Tie saw another scarlet bolt arc across the room and impact with the table, making a deep groove in the thick plasteel and leaving a puff of smoke. Leon, seizing the opportunity, carefully aimed and fired his blaster. The deadly energy beam struck its target dead on, hitting Hannibal’s wrist and knock the blaster from his hand. Havoc popped up from behind the bar and fired several shots as a diversion. Tie, seeing his chance, lunged out and slid into the middle of the cantina, grabbing the blaster is mid motion and then sliding behind the table when Leon hid. All three men stood up, four blasters pointed in Hannibal’s direction. “What were you saying, Hannibal? Something about revenge?” Tie mocked. “Ha!” the evil cyborg scoffed. “I need no weapon to crush someone as cowardly as you, Tie Guy!” All four blasters opened fire, each pouring their deadly darts at the disfigured man. The man’s body became black with scorch marks, but he didn’t fall, didn’t even budge. He picked up a chair a meter to his right and flung it at Tie Guy and Leon. They sidestepped and the chair raced between them harmlessly, hitting the wall behind them with an incredible force and shattering into thousands of tiny shards. Next the mechanical man picked up a table, lifting it with ease. Tie and Leon leapt out of the way as Hannibal hurled the table at the two old friends. Havoc, meanwhile, picked up a chair and ran to Hannibal, bringing the chair down powerfully on his back. Hannibal didn’t budge, but he swung his organic arm around and hit Havoc squarely in the stomach, sending him flinging into a small music synthesizer near the entrance with a crash. He was slow to rise, fighting the pain in his stomach and gasping for air. He saw Tie and Leon coming out of their dive in a defensive position. He looked at Leon and suppressed a scowl; this was no time to be thinking about that. He quickly nodded towards the entrance and Leon immediately caught what he was going for and nodded his approval. He dashed towards the entrance but turned just in time to see Hannibal charging Tie. Tie ducked just in time to evade Hannibal’s first blow and watch as it punched clear through the duracrete wall behind him. Tie then rolled out to his left, attempting to dodge Hannibal’s kick. His mechanical leg impacted the wall and sent a rumble through the building. Cracks opened along the side of the wall and the building seemed as if it could collapse at any minute. Tie scrambled to his feet and ran to join his companions near the entrance. The three raced out the entrance together. They were no further than ten yards in the street when Hannibal’s booming voice pierced the air. “Leaving so soon, Tie Guy?! You are even more a coward than I thought!” Tie froze, his back facing Hannibal, his legs shoulder with apart with his hands still on his two blasters. “Oh yeah? Then why don’t you come and face me like a man?” “Ha! You are much more stupid than I thought as well.” Hannibal laughed and slowly walked towards Tie, who still had his back facing him. The moment Hannibal cleared the entrance Tie spun around and fired two precision bolts not at Hannibal, but above him. Suddenly, the bright lights of the sign hung above the entrance started to flicker. The massive sign began to shake then plummeted to ground, hitting Hannibal and searing off his gigantic mechanical arm. The arm dropped to the ground, crushed by the sign, as both crackled and sparked. Hannibal stared in disbelief at his still sparking arm socket. He looked back at Tie with a look of utter amazement before he turned and fled down the street, pushing people aside and leaving them gasping in horror. Neither Tie, Leon, or Havoc entertained the thought of pursuit; they’d had enough action for one day. The three stood in exhausted silence. Not a moment later a team of security guards in blue uniforms came running down the street. They immediately saluted Leon, a look on their face somewhere between complete surprise and total relief. “Sorry, sir, we were ambushed on the ay over here by mercenaries.” “Hmm…the Blade are more organized than I thought.” Leon observed. The young officer gave a puzzled look, but Leon ignored him. “I think we should be leaving.” Havoc stated to Tie, “Someone obviously knows we’re here. I hope our ship was completed on schedule.” Havoc scowled but Leon disregarded it. Tie and Havoc turned to leave but had not gone two meters before Leon’s familiar voiced reached their ears. “Wait!…I’m coming with you.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 I never thought about it like this. But I guess there must be idiots among the Sith. I mean it's like those jedi trainees that just don't make it. Except those guys get to go to the dark side. If you're already dark, and you suck at it, then wow. Idiots among the sith. Cannon Fodder, YES!!! And idiotic Cannon Fodder at that! BTW fergie, I love how you spelled burnin ring of fire that first time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 gee, a chapter about the idiots of the sith and I'm not mentioned...I take that as a compliment! Thank you, Fergie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted October 21, 2002 Author Share Posted October 21, 2002 Fergie, I've got to hand it to you, only you could bring slapstick comedy to the Sith! But, I do welcome the view from the Sith. This might end up like the TV show Boomtown! Great Chapter Tie! Made me route for our heroes! I've got the next Dark Eyes Chapter! Might not be up till 'morrow morning, though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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