Boba Rhett Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what they termed a rush to war with Mordor. "We need more time for diplomacy," said a key member of the Middle-Earth Security Council, Saruman the White. "I am not convinced by the evidence presented by my esteemed colleague, Gandalf the Grey, that the Dark Lord Sauron presents an imminent danger to the peoples of the West." Many of the people protesting war in Mordor agreed with Saruman's remarks. "Sauron says he's destroyed his Rings of Mass Destruction (RMD) and that's good enough for me," said one fellow carrying a sign that said "Elrond is a Balrog." Another demonstrator urged, "Give the RMD inspectors more time. There's no reason to rush to any judgment just because Mount Doom is belching lava, the Dark Tower is rebuilt, and Osgiliath has been decimated." A third protester piped up, "I haven't heard a single bit of convincing evidence connecting the Nazgul with Sauron. I think they destroyed Osgiliath on their own initiative without any support from Sauron. Besides, it's understandable they're angry with Gondor. We haven't done nearly as much for the Orcs and Goblins and Easterlings as the Nazgul and Sauron have. It's understandable they throw their support to them. It's our own fault really." As the protesters continued their march through the city, they chanted, "No blood for Mount Doom," voicing a common sentiment that the leaders of the Western peoples are really seeking to get their hands on the powerful Mount Doom, where the One Ring of Power was allegedly forged. Gandalf the Grey was unavailable for comment. A spokesman said he was in an undisclosed underground location, which sources have revealed is codenamed "Moria." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Ah...so where do you stand on this hotly-debated issue, Rhett? I, for one, think that the mere threat of RMDs is enough evidence to go in there and bust Sauron's black butt for good. It's not like he didn't try something like that back in '91 of the Second Age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breton Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 *Notes to self: Never eat anything while reading one of Rhett's posts* *Cleans the desk* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C'jais Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 If only it were that simple... Actually, Mordor is the size of the shire, and each Middle Earth nation has RMDs. Sauron is holding on to his last one, while Gandalf and his band of merry men plans to take him out and grab it for themselves. Clearly, Gandalf doesn't give a flying f*ck about all the Orcs and Goblins living in the barren Mordor, but only wants to remove Sauron so he can justify once again why he needs to be the most powerful wizard there is. He doesn't see that the only person holding all the Orcs, Goblins and Easterlings united is Sauron, and after he's killed he's hoping that he'll be able to place a human-friendly leader in his place who'll supply him with the cheap slave labour he needs nowadays. Meanwhile, the Nazgul is furious at Sauron for allowing humans to take shelter in Mordor and have decided that if Gandalf succeeds in installing a human-friendly leader in Mordor, he's going to be the first to die. Damn! Tolkien prophesized this war! It can't be! I must now worship his books! [/silly attempt at irony] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 *gives Rhett a cigar and a hug* Leave it to Rhett to find the proper satire in a time of political differences and opinions, my hats off to you... my hero! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swphreak Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 LOL, that'sa good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 *heartily agrees with Groovy* Now this is what I call political humor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 I'm against the war, but what's funny is funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 Very clever, and at no one's expense. Funny. You know, though, how can people truly expect the Ring Inpsectors to find anything when we all know for a fact that the ring can make the bearer invisible? I mean, we're wasting our time with the inspectors, they obviously couldn't find the ring 2 millelenia ago, what makes you think they can find it now? Isn't 2000 years of ineptitude enough to prove their futility? And Gandolf isn't after it for the slave labor. If he were he could just round up a bunch of people from Rohan where he already has practical control. Oh, and I just don't see why the MESC should have anything to do with this. Saruman is clearly in league with Sauron, what with all the Uruk-Hai he loaned Sauron in the second age. He obviously wants to protect his investments and wait till he can seize the ring AND get the cheap slave labor for himself instead . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natopo Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 :rofl: :rofl: You should send that to the newspaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDI_MASTA Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 LOL funny as hell rhett... and pretty true to the issues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breton Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 Originally posted by JEDI_MASTA LOL funny as hell rhett... and pretty true to the issues Even though it was funny, it is nothing like today's issues. Mostly because Sauron is evil as is his servants, and he is a large threat against the whole ME. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDI_MASTA Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 sauramon and the UN are the same thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obi Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Heh, had to do somethin..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthfergie Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Good stuff. Alot like today's politics. Where do you find this stuff? Do you pick it up from your elf slaves or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Well, he's got to use those elves for more than just his...ahem...other hobbies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted March 23, 2003 Author Share Posted March 23, 2003 Hey! Pimpin' aint a hobby! I mean.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 It's a lifestyle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 "a way of life" sounds better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.