The Monkey Sutra

[Zoom Rabbit]

Sometimes I'm *inspired* to write a story. When I write one about deeper philosophical matters, I often compose them as sutras in the hindu/buddhist tradition. Coincidentally, 'sutra' means 'thread' in sanskrit.

 

The Monkey Sutra is such a story. While meditating one night, and contemplating this universal problem mankind has of multiple belief systems, a parable came fully into my mind of monkeys in the jungle, looking for the magic banana tree. I went to bed, but when I woke up in the morning, I found that the story was falling into place in my mind with characters and a plot. In a very real way, this story seems to have written itself.

 

Now that everyone thinks I'm bonkers, I will begin the first of five parts. It will take me a few days to get this all posted; to all who will read it, I thank for their time beforehand.

 

The Monkey Sutra

 

'Teach a man to fish and he eats every day; give a man a monkey, and he can teach it to fish for him.'

 

ACT ONE

 

Thus have I heard--that long, long ago there lived a tribe of monkeys in the sandalwood forest. In those days the world was still young, and the vine and flower-laden treetops still rattled with the cry of wild monkeys, much as they had for uncounted eons.

 

This tribe was unique. They had discovered fire, and how to keep it burning with sticks and leaves. They huddled around the fire together, safe from the bigger animals of the sandalwood forest. For the first time, monkeys were presented with the challenge of living together.

 

As was the ancient, unwritten law of nature, the largest monkey ruled the tribe. He named himself Manu the Monkey King, and tossed aside any monkey who challenged him. Taking responsibility, the first king saw to it that firewood was gathered and food brought to the camp for all to share. He ended squabbles between the other monkeys in the tribe by tossing them...but he began to foresee a day when his aggression would be insufficient to control the tribe. With the passing of time, his mighty ape body was losing its youthful invulnerability, and some day, a bigger monkey would toss him aside. The fire could be lost, the monkeys might return to the treetops...and things would go back to the way they were before. This thought saddened the Monkey King. He wished that he could find a better way to control the tribe, but they were simple monkeys after all, who responded only to intimidation.

 

One day, a strange new monkey came to visit the fire. His fur shined with a silvery light, which cast shadows of the leaves and trees of the forest. Even more strangely, this monkey walked upright, using only his two legs. He smelled of cinnamon and cloves.

 

As the shining monkey approached the tribe, Manu stood his ground. 'Who are you, and why have you invaded our camp?'

 

'My king, if you had called this your camp, I would have left immediately,' smiled the stranger. 'Since you understand that you and your tribe share the same fate, I will remain long enough to give you the solution to your problems.' With that, he held up a single banana--but such a banana! Unlike the plain, yellow ones that could be found growing in the sandalwood forest, it was striped with all the colors of the rainbow, from its red stem to the purple tip. When he peeled it, the now curious tribe could see that the flesh was silver-colored, and smelled of exotic trees and flowers unknown to monkeys. 'This is a magic banana. Any monkeys who tastes of it will find peace.'

 

Manu took the banana and began breaking it into enough pieces to share with each monkey in the tribe.

 

'I am the Ghost Monkey,' said the brilliant one. 'I will come back every morning with another magic banana for you.' He bowed, then vanished into thin air.

 

The Ghost Monkey's sudden disappearance caused much screeching agitation in the camp. It took Manu awhile to calm down his people. Once he had them back under control, he passed the magic banana pieces around and watched them eat, saving his piece for last.

 

The magic banana was as delicious as its exotic smell promised--blended within its flavor was every plant and flower in the forest. As the warm fruit settled in Manu's stomache, a comfortable feeling bubbled up within his mind, escaping as a broad grin. He looked around the fire and saw that the rest of the tribe was at ease as well.

 

'We are like one monkey,' observed the king. 'Instead of fighting amongst ourselves for food and mates, we are all together in peace.'

 

'Yes, sire.' agreed one monkey.

 

'I, too, am content,' said another, 'I don't feel like biting any of you, or hurling my feces.'

 

'The magic banana makes us better,' said Manu. 'We are like one monkey now, with the strength of many! Never again will I have to toss monkey to keep order in the camp. Today the Ghost Monkey has truly delivered us from the ignorance of being wild monkeys.'

 

The Monkey King then noticed that not all of his people had eaten their share of the magic banana. A slow and dim-wiited creature known as Fool Monkey, who prefered digging in the mud for roots over sitting around the fire, had left his piece sitting uneaten on a rock. 'Fool Monkey! You had better eat this before a bird comes and takes it from you...!'

 

Fool Monkey looked up from his digging. 'Another monkey could use that, sire. I don't need any magic banana.' He went back to work.

 

Manu shook his head. 'I will force no one to eat the magic banana if they don't wish it. A fool monkey you truly are, though, if you don't at least try it.'

 

'Thank you, sire.' Fool Monkey kept digging.

 

The Monkey King picked up the piece and walked away. A fool would always be a fool, it seemed.

 

(To be continued.)

[Ray Jones]

aah.. here it is.. i found it ..

 

hey zoom .. nice loco here to place it ..

 

 

..

i thinkk i have an idea of the story (ok thats not what you wanted, right? ) despite of my bad german.

 

 

 

.. i would like to read more before i say some damn hard critical words to smash you down.. please post more (POST!! NOW!! ) ..

 

ehem .. no i really think its worth reading more so .. go on ..

[Zoom Rabbit]

Ray: I went and changed my intro to forestall a religious debate. Really, the story should be taken on its own merit, and what I happen to think dismissed out of hand.

 

It's just a silly monkey story. Right?

[Darth Eggplant]

*the jungle rushes within the range of octerine as an aubergine wave of wild eggplants, comes and bows before the furry animal which zooms. zen fuzzy! zen fuzzy! millenium hand and shrimp, all the eggplant's of the forest hail Zoom Rabbit as king!*

[legameboy]

Three cheers for ZoomRabbit!!! Hip hip! Hoorah! Hip hip! Hoorah! Hip hip! Hoorah!

 

That ws one great 4th of a story, I liked the allegorical viewpoint of it.

[Thrackan Solo]

Ha

 

This could only come from Zoomy.

[Zoom Rabbit]

(Thanks for the encouragement, guys!)

 

Without further adoo...

 

ACT TWO

 

Rainy seasons marked the passing of time in the sandalwood forest. The Monkey King lost track of them as his fur began to frost, reminding his people of the shining Ghost Monkey who continued to make morning visits. Manu performed the daily ritual of dividing the magic banana for his tribe, and there was always enough for each monkey to have a bite.

 

The monkey tribe had no trouble finding food in the forest, and had even begun to cultivate the seeds from some of their favorite plants. A few of the smarter monkeys had figured out how to make shelter from the sticks and leaves of the forest, to make the rainy season more bearable. Soon, most of the surrounding trees had been transformed into a haphazard village of huts and lean-tos. There were several fires, and a cold monkey could wander from fire to fire all night if he wished.

 

The tribe grew over time, and Manu found himself having to break the magic banana into smaller and smaller pieces in order to go around. He was grateful to the Ghost Monkey and unwilling to press for more...but the day came that the magic banana did not go far enough to bring peace to every monkey in the tribe. Fights began to break out in the crowded village, and Manu decided to ask the Ghost Monkey for more.

 

The next morning, the Ghost Monkey strode out of the mists into the village as he always did. Smiling, he held out two empty hands to the befuddled Monkey King.

 

'What is this? Just as one magic banana proves to be too little, and I need more, you bring me nothing? I will not be able to control the tribe!'

 

'Have faith, my king,' he smiled. 'I am but one monkey, and can bring you only so many magic bananas. Your tribe has grown beyond my ability to help you by myself, but continue to grow it must. Today, then, I will teach you how to find the magic banana tree, so you can go and get as many as your tribe needs.'

 

'We can get our own magic bananas?'

 

'It will be your responsibility to do so. Gather ten monkeys who can walk on two legs and bring them to me.'

 

Manu went among the tribe and had them show him how well they could walk. Himself wondering why this was important, he chose the ten who were the best at it and presented them to the Ghost Monkey.

 

'Very good. Follow me.' Without another word, he turned and led them into the sandalwood forest. Instead of taking to the treetops like a monkey, he walked along a bare ribbon of dirt that snaked off into the distance. Evidently, the Ghost Monkey's daily journeys to the magic banana tree had worn a path on the forest floor, and the monkeys would be able to follow it.

 

Manu now understood the importance of walking.

 

They followed the trail all morning, until the nooday sun burned off the mist and awoke the pungent oils of the forest plants. Captivated by exotic sights and smells new to them, they followed the Ghost Monkey as he led them into new jungles beyond the sandalwood forest. When they reached the foot hills of a mountain they'd only seen in the far distance before, Manu at last cried out, 'How far is the magic banana tree, anyway? To travel so far with one magic banana every day, you would have to walk continuously, day and night!'

 

The Ghost Monkey stopped and smiled patiently. 'This is not how I get magic bananas. I have worn this path in the jungle for your benefit, not mine. We are almost there, my king.'

 

Manu sighed. The group followed the path for several hours more, until the sun had set and they could no longer make out where the plants on the ground had been worn down. Guided only by the Ghost Monkey's shining fur, they passed quietly through the starless night as the unseen jungle screeched and buzzed around them. Abruptly, the trail opened into a wide clearing, lit by the moon which was just clearing the trees.

 

'Behold,' said the Ghost Monkey, and disappeared.

 

The monkeys found themselves standing before a single, proud tree that took the center of the clearing. It sprang from the red, cinnabar earth and reached the sky with broad leaves of rainbow color, where delicate purple flowers danced in the evening breeze. From every branch hung heavy bunches of magic bananas, their rainbow peels shining in the silvery moonlight. On and on they marched up the bole of the tree, countless bunches stacked high atop one another high into the air, which was laced with the intoxicating scent of cinnamon, cloves and unnamed spices from the primeval mists of ancient times.

 

Not at all weary despite the long trek, they whooped and leapt up high into the tree, where they ate their fill of magic bananas. After a brief rest high in the treetop, they gathered as many bunches as they could carry and set off back for the sandalwood forest.

 

The moon stayed out to light their way home. They followed the path easily, even without the Ghost Monkey to lead them, arriving just as the first light of dawn touched the huts of the monkey village and sleepy fires were being stirred for the day.

 

Manu and his ten walkers strode proudly into the village, their shoulders bearing heavy bunches of rainbow fruit. 'Awake!' he yelled. 'All monkeys--come see what can be found walking in the forest!'

 

The monkey tribe gathered about their king, staring at the wonderous bounty of magic bananas piled on the ground. That morning, each monkey had a magic banana all of their own, with plenty to go around. Never before had the monkey tribe of sandalwood forest been so wealthy, and a joyful hooting soon set up among them. Someone banged a stick on a rock to keep time, and music was invented that day.

 

King Manu left the celebration, knowing there was still one monkey who had no magic banana. An entire bunch in one hand, he went to find Fool Monkey.

 

Fool Monkey had been spending most of his time in the treetops, gathering nuts to help feed the village during the rainy season, when food was more difficult to find. Manu found him on the ground, dumping a handful of nuts into a hollow tree he used for storage.

 

'Fool Monkey, I have brought you a bunch of magic bananas. The Ghost Monkey has shown us where to find them, and we now have as many as we will ever need. Please at last join me in eating one.'

 

'Thank you, sire. I appreciate your generosity, but I would still give them to another monkey who needs them more. I have no such need.'

 

Manu was exasperated. 'Why, Fool Monkey? Won't you tell me why you don't need to eat the magic banana?'

 

'Not yet,' he grinned wickedly. With a chattering shriek, he leapt straight up to the treetops and began playfully tossing nuts at the king's head.

 

The Monkey King shook his head and left. There was just no convincing this fool.

 

It wasn't until the following morning that they realized the Ghost Monkey was no longer making his daily appearances.

 

(To be continued.)

[Redwing]

Stories forum not good enough for you, Zoomie?

 

True...doesn't get much traffic tho...

 

I'm tired and your story is making my brain fry. So I'm just gonna read it tomorrow...er, I mean, later today.

[HertogJan]

"Heeeey, it's Timmy the monkey! How are you boy?"

 

 

Hehe, I love Monkey Island Oh and I didn't bother to read you're story... "Monkey Sutra" sounds a bit TOO much like Kamasutra, and I'm not really into animal sex

[Zoom Rabbit]

Stories forum? So that's where they moved it. I thought it was an MI fan literature forum--and this story has nothing to do with the video game. Perhaps whoever moved it could have said why, eh?

 

Anyway. More people will get to enjoy it here--except for HertogJan. Because he has no freaking clue what a sutra is, despite my informative intro...

 

Important public safety announcement: do not confuse the Monkey Sutra for the Kama Sutra! Bhakti yoga and tantra are not the same thing at all, and it's probably illegal where you live anyway.

[Redwing]

I meant the JKII Stories Forum, actually. (Which I mod.)

 

I guess it happened to you in the Harbor, then?

 

You could always have posted a link, just saying.

[Ray Jones]

sometimes theres some sort of a magic happening at the harbour.. things disappear.. to swallow up at the strangest places.. hmm, yeah and some comment would have been cool (mods.. do some and stand to it!! but who i am telling this here..), although the fansforum isnt the place where this is mentioned for... i think this it kept better here in the swamps..

[edlib]

'I, too, am content. I don't feel like biting any of you, or hurling my feces.'

Billions of years of evolution,.. and I still can't honestly say I feel like this all that often.

[Zoom Rabbit]

Edlib: There are days when everyone that walks by me gets poop thrown at them. I think it's monk--I mean, human nature.

 

Redwing: You mean I had a chance to post this in your forum and I put it here? I'm sorry, Pinks. Really, I didn't know. If it helps, we can classify it as allegory instead of fiction.

 

On to the symbological analysis. Magic bananas? What the heck was I thinking? Carrots are a much more likely foodstuff to serve as a means for bringing peace to the world...

 

Part 3 tonight.

[Ray Jones]

Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit

Magic bananas? What the heck was I thinking?

 

carrots are good for the eyes .. i dont know any rabbit wearing glasses .. ???

 

but bananas.. i think this decision of yours maybe the result of permanent social brainwash from childage on.. apes and bananas are often called in one context .. and confirming to the metaphorous ambiente of your sutra .. first choice would be the banana ..

 

am i totally wrong or what..?

[Zoom Rabbit]

Ray, you're right. *(Goes and rewrites the entire sutra with rabbits instead of monkeys.)*

 

New working title--'Watership Down: Revisited.'

 

ACT THREE

 

A great many years passed as the monkey tribe of sandalwood forest turned their little village into the bustling hamlet of Monkeytown. The forest was cleared for several miles, the wood cobbled into neat rows of lodges. The population was reaching into the hundreds, and shelter was more important than trees to monkeys now accustomed to walking.

 

Monkeys were specializing in the many tasks required to keep the town running smoothly. Some tended the gardens, while some kept the magic banana supply running smoothly. The strongest, fiercest monkeys specialized in hunting the animals of the forest; with big sticks, they would dispatch the animals, then bring the carcasses back to Monkeytown as food. Other monkeys would then cook the meat, and make it more flavorful with the herbs and flowers to be found in the sandalwood forest. There were monkeys who built lodges, monkeys who cleared sandalwood trees to make room for more lodges, and some clever monkeys were beginning to invent things like clothing, shoes and money.

 

Manu was now white, and very old, but still performed his kingly duties. Only the older monkeys remembered the days when the Ghost Monkey still visited the village every morning. The younger monkeys told and re-told stories of his visits to keep the memory alive...but it seemed to older ears that the details were often distorted. One popular account had the Ghost Monkey sixty feet tall, pushing trees out of the way to clear a trail to the magic banana tree.

 

Manu held court in his own private lodge. It was the finest in Monkeytown, with a grand hall taller than any tree of the forest. A fire burned on a hearth of big rocks, and he sat on a throne carved from prized sandalwood root.

 

One day, an upset monkey brought him a rainbow-striped banana, which he hurled angrily to the floor before the throne.

 

Silence filled the hall. The Monkey King smiled wryly and said, 'You had better pick that up and eat it before you lose your temper.'

 

'It would do me no good. This is no magic banana!' He picked it up and held it up for all to see. 'As you can see, sire, this is an ordinary banana that has been painted to look like a magic one.'

 

Manu inspected the banana. Indeed, only the yellow part was real, the other colors crudely applied with a monkeyhair brush. He peeled it and sniffed at the dull, white fruit. 'Where did you buy this?'

 

The monkey led the king and several of his advisors to a market stall in the poorest quarter of Monkeytown. The magic banana vendor there found himself explaining to an unamused king how he could have sold a painted banana to his now irate customer.

 

'Well, sire, I do my best to ensure that I sell only genuine magic bananas...but I sell so many that I couldn't possibly check every single one!' He gestured to a long table piled high with magic bananas for the day's business. 'Also, some bananas are painted so well that the only way to tell is to peel one.'

 

Manu picked a magic banana at random and peeled it. 'Well, this one is real, at least.' He handed it to the monkey who'd bought the fake one earlier, then turned to look at the long line of monkeys waiting to buy magic bananas. 'How many of these are real, and how many painted? Do you know?'

 

The vendor shrugged. 'Monkeys bring me magic bananas from the forest--who is to say where they found them?'

 

Manu thanked the vendor for his honesty and left with his advisors in tow. 'These are bad tidings indeed. If we can't be sure of our magic banana supply, how can we ensure the peace?'

 

'Without magic bananas,' said the Prime Monkey, 'The monkey tribe will revert to the violent ways of wild monkeys!'

 

'That may be a bit alarmist,' said Manu. 'We haven't run out yet. How is this even happening?'

 

'Sire,' said the Cartographer Monkey, 'the problem is with the magic banana monkeys finding their way to the tree. The simple trail you followed in your youth has become a confused matter today. Other monkeys have made side trails to explore other parts of the jungle, while some have made new ones in search of a shorter route to the magic banana tree. As a result, today's jungle is a tangle of interweaving roads.' He showed the king an animal skin on which he'd painted a spiderweb of meandering lines. 'Not even the map I invented can keep track of them all.'

 

'So when the magic banana monkeys find the tree at all,' said the Prime Monkey, 'it is by accident.'

 

'When they do not find the tree,' suggested the Treasury Monkey, 'they must still come up with magic bananas in order to feed their families. A simple monkey in such a situation might be tempted to paint his own.'

 

Manu groaned. As he stopped to massage his acheing temples, he saw that Fool Monkey was nearby, tending the patch of ordinary bananas that had become his vocation in later years. 'Fool Monkey...tell me again why we can't grow our own magic bananas.'

 

Fool Monkey stopped working. 'I don't know, Sire. We've tried, but they come up as ordinary bananas--like these here.' He winked. 'Fortunately, there are plenty of hungry monkeys who appreciate even yellow bananas.'

 

'Perhaps the dirt is wrong here,' mused the Prime Monkey.

 

'I think it's because we don't really need them.' Without further comment, Fool Monkey went back to working his banana patch.

 

The king shook his head. 'If only I had a town full of fool monkeys--but I don't. I need to ensure the magic banana supply.'

 

They all thought on this. Finally, the Prime Monkey said, 'We need to find a new way to the magic banana tree. This business of trying to find a path through the forest is no longer any good to us!'

 

'Sire,' said the Cartographer Monkey, 'I have an idea. I have in the past made use of the hunter monkeys to help make sense of the roads. They still move through the forest as our ancestors did, by swinging through the treetops, which leaves them completely independent of roads. If any monkey could find a new way to the magic banana tree, it would be a hunter.'

 

Manu considered this. 'I want you to find our finest hunter monkey, and send him to me.'

 

Thus, the Monkey King came to meet the famous monkey hero Hanuman.* Though he had not yet done many of the glorious deeds by which we know him today, his youthful presence was enough to fill the king's great hall. Shoulders as broad as the throne before him and twice as tall as most other monkeys, he smiled and bowed. 'I am here to serve.'

 

'Hanuman, welcome. It is my understanding that you are our finest animal hunter. I have a special quest for one with your skills, if you are willing.'

 

'I will do my best.'

 

Manu told him about the problem with the magic banana supply, and their need for a new way to the tree that didn't rely on the road system.

 

'Sire, I will let you know when I have found such a way.' Hanuman bowed, then put his big animal-hunting stick into the hands of another hunter--He would have no need for it in hunting the magic banana tree. Without delay, he left the Monkey King's lodge and bounded off for the sandalwood forest.

 

(To be continued.)

 

*(Hanuman is a figure from hindu mythology, making a cameo appearance in this sutra...)

[Ray Jones]

*awakes after he stayed wake all nite long .. starring at his screen.. waiting for the forthcome .. *

 

zoom. as you said tonite.. you didnt meant MY tonite, right ..

 

*sigh*

 

hhm. i am not as important as i thought ..

 

 

anyway i have the slight impression the Forumservertime is about +20 mins ..

 

 

and i'm really looking forward to how Hanuman will hunt the tree without a stick. at least it could be needful.

 

And WHY is it fool monkey who tries to grow magic bananas .. ?

 

Will they all morph into RABBITs .. ? (be sure to use the RIGHT software for this ..)

[Zoom Rabbit]

I'm sorry, Ray. For purposes of clarification I should have been using 'Greenwich Mean Time,' which puts my posting time around nine o'clock in the morning...

 

True, that's night time for me, here on the west coast of the US. I'll do the next big post tonight...erm, I mean this morning.

 

Also, there are now five acts. I chose to do this because act three was...lengthy. *(Gets pelted by garbage from the forum.)*

 

Why does Fool Monkey grow bananas (specifically not magic ones?) Well...he'll have a chance to explain why in act five. You'll see.

 

*(Puts a 'patient' sticker on Ray's forehead.)*

[leXX]

Um...yeah...I'll read it tommorow...sorta...probably...kinda thing.

 

[Captain Wilson]

tonight, the morning when ever it is it must be excactly 7 hours eailer:D this story is entertaining and i REALY want to now what that ol' fool monkey know's. Great job Zoomie .

Ps: change the monkeys to prunes

[Zoom Rabbit]

Thanks, Captain Wilson. See, Lexx...you might miss out if you don't read it.

 

*(Re-writes the entire sutra again using prunes.)*

 

Interesting. Kinda like a 'California raisin' video. Just to completely mess up Ray's sense of time, here's:

 

ACT FOUR

 

It was several months before Hanuman stumbled upon the magic banana tree. It was in a clearing on the other side of the big mountain, beyond where the sandalwood forest yielded to the wild jungles and hunter monkeys seldom ventured. During the search, he had heard many monkeys crashing about in the trees below...but when he got to the magic banana tree, he found only silence. No one had been there in quite awhile.

 

Hanuman gathered as many of the magic bananas as he could carry, as much as the weight of ten ordinary monkeys, and set off on his way back to Monkeytown. It took him awhile to get there, as he had not yet mastered the art of jumping over great distances as he would in later years.

 

'I have found the way, sire, but I do not know how to teach others to find it.' He dropped his load of rainbow fruit on the floor of the king's great hall. 'I can carry this much myself.'

 

'If we cut them into smaller pieces like we did in the old days,' said Manu, 'We should be able to make our supplies last. Hanuman, I am grateful for your services. How often can you bring a load to us?'

 

'I can get there and back in a day,' he said. 'Meanwhile, I'll try to find a way to teach other monkeys how to find the magic banana tree. For now, I know of no way other than wandering lost in the jungle for many months as I did.'

 

'Good luck,' said the Cartographer Monkey as he pointed to a pile of animal skin maps. 'Maps are of no use in the treetops, which change every time the wind blows.'

 

The monkey hero was true to his people, and returned the next day with more magic bananas. The king rationed them as far as they would go, and together with what few real ones were turning up at market, there were once again enough to bring peace to Monkeytown.

 

On through the year toiled Hanuman, ever working to bring more magic bananas to the tribe. The rainy season came, and then another, and still he had no idea how to teach monkeys to find their way to the tree. As the Cartographer Monkey had said, maps were useless to monkeys swinging through a sea of trees...and when he tried to lead them there himself, he found that no one else could keep up with him in scaling the big mountain. Two more rainy seasons passed, and even the mighty Hanuman began to fear that he would be hauling magic bananas all alone for eternity.

 

One cool and breezy evening, he found himself high in a sandalwood tree, watching the twinkling of many fires in the distant town. The air carried the bleating sounds of animals, which some of the monkeys had taken to keeping in pens for use as food. The animals would reproduce just like plants in a garden, and the tribe would no longer have to send hunters into the forest for meat.

 

This thought bothered Hanuman. His fellow hunter monkeys would be obsolete, like so many treetop-swinging monkeys now lost to the progress of walking on two legs. Without a need for their hunting, and unless he could teach them to put their skills to use in finding the magic banana tree, the hunters would become old, poor and broken...a whole caste of monkeys without purpose.

 

'I cannot teach the way,' he said aloud. 'Would that the Ghost Monkey were here, that he could teach me how he brought magic bananas without using a trail! I could use such a trick now.'

 

At that moment a shining white monkey appeared on the branch next to him, and his brilliance lit up the treeline. The Ghost Monkey smiled and nodded to Hanuman.

 

'The Ghost Monkey! I am...very honored to meet you.'

 

'And I you. Though my name will soon pass from history, yours, Hanuman, will go down through the ages as the most famous monkey from our time. Your tireless service to your people will not be unrewarded.'

 

'I would carry magic bananas until my footsteps had worn down the big mountain to serve my king. But my service alone will not be enough. Monkeytown keeps growing, and needing more and more magic bananas. I need to be able to teach others how to find the tree.'

 

The Ghost Monkey chuckled. 'It isn't so easy to teach a monkey, is it?' He pointed to the sandalwood forest behind them. 'The breeze is nice this evening. It's coming down from the big mountain.'

 

Hanuman looked at him. 'Yes,' he said finally. 'It smells good.'

 

'Now. What do you smell?'

 

Hanuman took a deep breath and paid close attention to his keen hunter monkey's nose. 'I smell the sandalwood forest...the river...the little blue flowers that grow high on the big mountain...a hint of cinnamon, and cloves...' His eyes opened wide with discovery. 'Cinnamon and cloves!'

 

The Ghost Monkey nodded. 'There is only one place that you have ever smelled cinnamon and cloves.'

 

'The magic banana tree. If one can smell it on the evening breeze, then I can teach others how to find it!' Excited, Hanuman jumped down from the sandalwood tree and bounded into town, awakening anyone who would listen to tell them that he had found a sure way to find the magic banana tree.

 

When Hanuman turned to point out the Ghost Monkey, however, he was nowhere to be found.

 

(To be continued.)

 

(Only one more act left. I promise.)

[Pink Monkey]

Desserts are good for you, and you should eat them frequently.

 

Ingredients:

 

Banana

Vanilla bean ice cream

Butterscotch topping

Butter

Cinnamon

Ground cloves

Coriander

Burning horse

 

When you have your horse sufficiently set aflame, place a sautée pan on the creature's back. When the pan is hot, drop your butter in (it shouldn't be so hot as to smoke) and sprinkle a pinch of each of the three spices into the pan.

 

Toss the banana in mid-air and cut it handily into halves with your sword. Removing the peel would be nice. Fry the naked, halved banana in the pan until it is light brown. Turn the banana over and cook the other side, then remove the pan.

 

Urinate on the burning horse to put out the fire. Be sure to drink heavily all day in order to ensure proper bladder pressure. Safety first.

 

While it is still hot, drape the fried banana over a giant scoop of ice cream, and use the other half for a similar confection for your invisible friend. Top this all with butterscotch topping, and enjoy.

 

vlr

[Ray Jones]

gee. now i've missed it .. ARGH!! You never keep appointments!

 

*tears down 'patient' sticker*

 

can you like post it again so I actually can read it too ..

 

 

 

When do you think you can provide a 'talkie' version? (And perhabs since i a an adult.. and adults talk dirty version..?

 

 

yes i am over here. all you have to do is HIT ME..

 

TRY!!

 

*Ray, changes to sonarmode*

*WHACK* RADAR you stupid..

*Ray, changes to sonarRADARmode*

 

 

*Ray, gets hit by IR guided missile*

 

*stays in orbit til the next part..*

 

 

PS.. my horse wont burn.. my visible friend says its all my fault. why? what am i doing wrong? nothing?

[Captain Wilson]

hehe look at that monkey dance! Great act again zoom, but there had better be only one act...the suspense is killing me.

*wilson falls down from suspense posioning*

[Zoom Rabbit]

Ray: Try using gasoline. Sometimes that darn horse just won't get started on its own...

 

The talkie version is coming out as soon as Lucasfilms buys the story from me and turns it into a Jedi flick using wookies instead of monkeys.

 

I have to go to work in a bit, otherwise I'd post act five right now. 9:00 am GMT, more or less. Probably.

 

*(Launches rainbow bananas at Ray in orbit using a catapult.)*

 

Meanwhile, anyone care to guess at this point why Fool Monkey is down on magic bananas?