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Gollum for Govenor


Darth Eggplant

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August 10, 2003, 12:30 p.m EST.

 

In a press conference

held earlier today

in downtown Los Angeles,

Gollum officially announced

his candidacy in the upcoming

California Governor Recall Election.

Gollum will be running for neither

the Republican nor the Democratic party.

He is the first recorded representative

in any election for the ‘Precious Party’.

 

Little is known about the Precious Party

since its creation last spring.

However this new party has quickly gained momentum

and finds new party members by the hundreds.

Gollum’s party support is seemingly enough

as he was able to submit 5,472 signatures

of California registered voters,

while only 65 are required.

Surprisingly,

Gollum was able to post the $3,500 filing fee

due to his backer: George Lucas.

When asked why he had decided to support Gollum

in his candidacy, Lucas replied,

"I was going to back Yoda but, well he died."

When pressed further, Lucas stated,

"I’ve got all this money and nothing to do.

Plus the little guy is just so cute!"

And if Arnold and Gary Coleman have a chance,

nothing is holding this guy down!

 

So what does our new candidate have to say

about his bid in the upcoming election?

He proposes to rid California

of nasssty industrial factories

and return the area to its natural state,

or a slightly altered version: swampland.

He also proposes a new solution

to the energy crisis that has plagued

the state for some time:

"When the yellow face goes down,

nasssty lights stay off."

When the problem of

the decreasing school budgets arose

Gollum merely replied,

"Teach them about fisssshesss"

In fact,

Gollum would like to see California

return to the bartering system,

using fish as currency instead of dollars.

Representatives of the American Society

for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

(ASPCA) could not be reached for comment.

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:D ROFL, Eggplant, that's great! His political views are clearer than most candidates. WARNING! POLITICAL VIEWS COMING UP!

I live in California, and this recall doesn't seem right. I mean, people voted for the governer, so they should have to live with the consequences of it. Furthermore, the Republican party isn't thinking of the long term benefits of leaving Davis in office. They should just let him continue, let the Democratic party self-destruct, and step in for an easy victory come next election.

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