Zoom Rabbit Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 No. Skinkie: One of your kind has gotten loose in the house, and I need you to talk reason to it. Today I was reading, and happened to glance up just in time to see a little six-inch lizard walk across the floor. 'Oh great,' I said, 'there's a lizard in the house!' The creature stopped, turned and looked up at me with unhastened deliberation. It fixed me with a curious expression that seemed to say: 'I, sir, am not a common, frenetic lizard. I am a skink, which is an altogether more evolved family of reptiles with roots far back in ancient prehistory. Consider me an augury of good fortune.' As I tried to capture the strange little lizard, which evaded me unhurriedly, it wisely found its way into the Forgotten Room, where the messy things are. No hope of catching the stowaway today, I said, 'Fine! My two kitties will probably find you next time anyway.' So. The liz--excuse me, skink is pretty much doomed if it continues living in my house. Plenty of bugs come in because of the black light, so it could in theory find food to eat...but if it comes out to hunt, one of my cats will pounce on it with irony. What should I tell it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Edison 007 Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Tell it that if it doesn't leave it has no chance of being your best friend....EVER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 firstly you need to entice it out with seductive dancing and some easy-listening (e.g something like Moon River, You're the best thing... anything but crowded house's weather with you, he'll think you're taking the piss) then all you need is a trail of rose petals leading out the front door. give him your bedroom eye's and then slowly make you way towards the door. if he doesn't follow you then let your cats eat him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toenail1 Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 well... if its anything like skinkie it should like popsicles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted May 29, 2004 Author Share Posted May 29, 2004 It occurs to me that I could put my blacklight on the ceiling. The bugs would go there, and so would the lizard...but my cats would be unable to resist the earth's pull enough to pounce on him. Also, I could catch him with a bucket. My only concern is: can a skink crawl on the ceiling? I think geckoes can, but what about skinks...? Siv: Perhaps, but that approach didn't help me get Madonna out of my house. They're always too smart for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinkie Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit My only concern is: can a skink crawl on the ceiling? I think geckoes can, but what about skinks...? Sounds like you need to do some research on these fine creatures. Make sure nothing kills it, I'm pretty sure it would anger me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SyntheticGerbil Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Man, fuck shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 are you sure it is a skink? in case it is a newt you may have flushed him already through your toilet and he might return as giant blue newt talking weeeeiiiiiirrd stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Originally posted by Skinkie research That's a whole lotta skinks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 Sadly, those are all australian skinks, and my house guest wandered in from the grassy mountain valleys of Oregon. Now I'm presented not only with the question, 'Can skinks walk on the ceiling?' but also, 'Can skinks surf across the Pacific ocean?' My cognac is disappearing, and my stash has been raided. Someone put the nature channel on while I was at work. It seems now that not only is the lizard still alive, but it's corrupted my kitties. This is getting out of control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinkie Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit Sadly, those are all australian skinks, and my house guest wandered in from the grassy mountain valleys of Oregon. Now I'm presented not only with the question, 'Can skinks walk on the ceiling?' but also, 'Can skinks surf across the Pacific ocean?' Hey I just typed skinks into Yahoo, that's only the begining of the knowledge out there, the rest is up to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 I'll say! These critters appear to have a dangerous side... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 he'll need a large toothpick for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 1, 2004 Author Share Posted June 1, 2004 This one has a blue tongue... This one looks evil! What the hell, a voodoo skink? And this skink is packing. Skinks for victory! Google knows everything. Except for where that damn lizard is hiding in my house. I tried searching under skink, zoom's house and where the hell?, but the great google has more important things to do than figure out my vermin problems for me. I'm going to try playing Paul Mc Cartney and the Wings and see if that doesn't flush it out. I have no idea why that would work, but I'll try it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinkie Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 I like the voodoo one, I think he's cute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 1, 2004 Author Share Posted June 1, 2004 The voodoo skink thinks you're cute, too, and wonders if you like to eat fat, yummy bugs. When I asked Google what a 'cute skink' would look like, it showed me this picture of two lizards: What the hell?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toenail1 Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit The voodoo skink thinks you're cute, too, and wonders if you like to eat fat, yummy bugs. i think that that answer is quite obvious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I'm not so sure about that. Man, and I had a weird dream last night. That skink in Zoom's Forgotten room, managed to create offspring by making lizard lurve to his cats. Zoom appears now to be in serious trouble, having to fight back hundreds of deadly dangerous skats, who already occupied his computer room and also the klingon slave girl lounge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 I'm not so sure about that. Man, and I had a weird dream last night. That skink in Zoom's Forgotten room, managed to create offspring by making lizard lurve to his cats. Zoom appears now to be in serious trouble, having to fight back hundreds of deadly dangerous skats, who already occupied his computer room and also the klingon slave girl lounge! VIP QUALITY! Unfortunately, it's like 2 years late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 No, no. You seem not to understand. Zoom's living in a part of our dimension where time is not of importance. Santa must've send that skink, a putative innocent and harmless creature, to infiltrate and entamer my little fluffy friend and to capture his home. Why? Because he *is* the easter bunny, given pure wisdom and the omnipotent power of friendship!! He *must* be in real danger and thus is hiding in his secret room behind the fridge, wrapped up in thin foil, otherwise he would, without doubt, have send Wally the space dolphin with a ciphered message to call for help. This is his last appearance, it's still unclear if there's already some coded message to be found in it: Wally the space dolphin has been caught completely unprepared for a contingency plan B since he was supposed to deal with plans E and S, and vaguely recalls a nervous looking eskimo man at the conference meeting who was supposed to be the plan B guy. Wally says get off his back--he's just a mid-level manager, and is really the most powerless guy in the whole structure with bosses above and below, not one of whom had the merest flicker of insight that he--a space dolphin--who was thoroughly trained and briefed in preparation for two other plans, would be expected to deliver the goods to an auditorium full of stern shareholders who fully intended to hear from him the details of plan freaking B. So: Plan B: What do you want from me? I'm a space dolphin! Plan E: Switch Laura Bush with Jane Fonda in the middle of the night and take pictures of the surprised president's face the next morning. Plan S: Tweak the laws of fluid dynamics so that water will run uphill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchythesamurai Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Man, this thread got my hopes up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Hope dies last, that's why I decided to enter a thread titled "Martha Stewart XXX videos on E-Bay" in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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