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roytordes'babe

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Originally posted by roytordes'babe

Has anyone got any funny jokes.

 

Funny you should ask. :max: This english painter goes into a bar, see, and leaves his girlfriend out in the car. Along comes a rabbit that drives off with her and nine months later poses this question...

 

Q: 'Knock-knock!'

 

A: 'Who's there?'

 

Q: 'Looks like rabbits.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

:dozey:

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how many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

hella

 

 

what do you call an illegally parked frog?

 

Toad

 

 

how much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?

 

a buccaneer

 

 

:D

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Originally posted by Siv

how many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

hella

Northern Californians say 'hella' meaning 'a lot' a lot.

 

what do you call an illegally parked frog?

 

Toad

 

toad sounds like towed, like if you're illegally parked your car would be towed.

 

how much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?

 

a buccaneer

 

buck (slang for a dollar) - an - ear

 

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Originally posted by Siv

Northern Californians say 'hella' meaning 'a lot' a lot.

 

never heard that... well, i've never been in nothern california...

 

Originally posted by Siv

toad sounds like towed, like if you're illegally parked your car would be towed.

 

never heard "towed" either... i never needed it when talking/writing/whatever in english...

but interesting to know...

 

Originally posted by Siv

buck (slang for a dollar) - an - ear

 

argl... i should have understood that...

 

...

 

anyway:

 

how many romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

twelve; one to screw the light-bulb in, and eleven to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.

 

what's the difference between america and yogurt?

yogurt has a living, active culture.

 

do you know what the death rate around here is?

one per person.

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Q: How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Exactly 1.0000000000.

 

Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but they have to do it while you're eating dinner.

 

Q: How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two, one to do it and one to say "Huh! My four-year old could've done that!"

 

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, that's a hardware problem.

 

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It burned out? You must be using a non-standard socket.

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I just want to know what will happen when Roy Tordes and his babe breaks up? Will she try and change her name?

 

You probably don't really want to talk or think about something like that... But I do.

Joke

 

And here's another one.

 

Three blondes trapped on a desert island, one kicks a can and a genie appears and gives them a wish each. The first asks to be 25% smarter and gets turned into a red head. She jumps in the water and smims for the mainland. The second asks to be 50% smarter and gets turned into a brunette. She builds a raft and rows for the mainland. The last asks to be 100% smarter. She turns into a man and walks over the bridge.

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are stuck on an island eight-miles out from shore. The red-head swims 4 miles to land and drowns. The brunette tries and only makes it six miles, then drowns. The blonde make an attempt at it, swims 7 miles, gets tired, then decides to swim back to the island.

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a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are all being chased on foot by the cops in the city. they turn down an alley and see it is a dead end. hiding anywhere they can, the redhead hides in a dumpster, the brunette hides in a garbage can, and the blonde hides in a potato sack. the cops hit the dumpster to see if anyone's in there, and the redhead says "woof! woof!". they kick the garbage can, and the brunette goes "meow!". they kick the potato sack and the blonde says "potato!".

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A blonde has just bought a £250 000 red Porsce. She's out cruising down the motorway at 110mph when suddenly she comes up behind a truck tavelling at 70mph and taking up both lanes. She can't stand this, so she starts tailgating the truck. the trucker gets angry and waves at her in his mirror for her to pull back, but she just thinks he's waving so she waves back. he does this again, only to get anohter wave, so finally he gets her to pull over. He gets out of the truck with a piece of chalk and draws a circle around the blonde on the floor and tells her to not step out of the circle at all. The he goes back into his truck, grabs a baseball bat and beats the living crap out of the porsce. After about 20 minutes the blonde now has herself a £250 000 red heap of scrap metal, but when the trucker looks around, the blondes laughing hysterically. "Why are you laughing, I just totaled your car?!" she looked at him through a giggle and said "While you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle."

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Originally posted by Thrik

*hovers over towards the "ban user" button*

 

Just kidding, of course. Welcome back, you freak! heart.gif

 

Here, let me help you with that....

 

*reaches over Thrik's ban button*

 

No i'm joking of course....

 

Welcome back! :D

 

So uh, what's new in your corner of the universe?

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