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OMG.....I'm so messed up


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Last year, history class, we reduced a teacher to tears and got out of several weeks of homework by singing happy birthday to the teacher. The entirety of class was spent throwing around a shriveled grapefruit stabbed with cloves that the teach had laying around. Good times . . .

 

[/i]Towards the end of the year, a guy started obsessing over my friend ... whom he'd never even met. This one-sided romance took place over Xbox live, where some dude stalked said friend and gave her his number. She told us, and we urged her to call him one day. She put her cellphone on speaker, and heard everything. He was willing to dye his hair blonde for her, and pronounced his love at least 3 times. One day, we had the brilliant idea of calling him, whereupon I'd burst into tears and admonish:

 

'Jose, he wants the money today! Hurry, we dont have alot of time!!!'[/i] (complete with very thick, Mexican accents).

 

My friend was to cry out in the background, 'Yo, where's mah dinero!?!?'

 

Hilarious.

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We had this girl prank-calling my house when I was a teen, and it was totally annoying because she did it like 15 times in a row. I finally got tired of it and answered in a completely cheesy French accent, "'Allo, my darleeng, I've been waiting for you' call." The next time she called I asked her 'Is your refrigerator running? Well, you better go catch it before it escapes down the road.'

 

She quit calling after that.

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I've done some weird things (dressing up in a Renaissance dress, complete with gaudy rings, walking down the street waving to random passersby, then going to see the movie 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves' in costume, and actually staying in a Renaissance re-enactment group for 20+ years). However, this conversation takes the cake for the weirdest I ever had with someone.

 

Picture this: 50 or 60-ish year-old lady, who didn't put down her age or birthdate on her medical history sheet.

 

Jae: How old are you?

Lady (serious look on face): 19.

*Jae's not 100% sure if she's serious and nearly laughs at what appears to be a joke*

Lady continues: I've been resurrected.

*Jae has a long pause, wondering what to say next*

Jae: Uh, what year were you born in your former life?

Lady: 1949.

 

Do you work like in a hospital for medical records or something? My mom deals with people like that alll the time on the military fort.

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I work with the patients themselves. :)

 

Oh, that's cool. My mom works in Release of Information, so she gets crazy people all the time.

 

As for me doing crazy things? Lets see...

 

On the last day of school, a bunch of us brought paintball guns and went crazy the last hour. We almost got arrested, but thank god for cool police officers, they let us off with a warning.

 

Two weeks ago, one of my friends bought an airsoft sniper, and brought it over. Now mind you, I live in a big neighborhood, its like a housing complex, so there's no open fields and such. So he proceeds to start firing it out my window, and he ended up busting two windows because it's so powerful.

 

Then yesterday, I jumped over a ledge, only to find out on the way down it was a ten feet drop. Ouch.

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This one time, my mom got drunk, stole my iPod and her and my godaunt were singing 'Don't Fear the Reaper'

 

OH yeah, and there's the time I brought my accordian to school and everyone was like 'OMG AVERY CAN I PLAY??' My language arts teacher took it and was jamming. Oh yeah, and then there's the time my language arts teacher sang us the song he wrote about the refridgerator and the love and stuff. and I was like "OMG MR HORNYAK, That's so They Might be Giants!" and I'm still gonna try and convince him to send it to them.

 

Oh yeah, and this one time, My cousin Travis brought some stink spray to school and sprayed it in class. Take it, the whole room had to be evacuated afterword cause they thought it was a neuclear leak or somthing. He got in so much trouble, it was awesome.

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