Jerec Skywalker Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Major Payne: Major Payne: Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up. Emily: Excuse me, what did you say? Major Payne: I didn't stutter, I said pop-your-titty-out-his-mouth AND STOP BABYING HIM. Emily: I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing. Major Payne: And I call it neutering. Emily: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic A**HOLE! Major Payne: I ain't frigid. Major Payne: Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I'm gonna put my foot so far up your a**, the water on my knee will quench your thirst. Dr. Phillips: You're in charge of the green boys Major Payne: Come again? Dr. Phillips: The green boys... they wear those green 'tings. You know what's funny, when they stand in front of the bushes... I can't see them! Major Benson Winifred Payne: A squad that lives together, wins together! UNITY, turds: that is the key word in UNIT, without the "Y!" Bulletproof: (After the plane falls over the cliff) Archie Moses: Oh man, I think that was God's way of telling you to let me go. Keats: Well me must serve different Gods, because mine is telling me to shoot you and throw you over that cliff. Archie Moses: Well I don't like your God, your god scares me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Dogma Jay: People just don't fall out of the sky, you know! *Rufus falls from the sky* Jay: Hot naked chicks with big tits don't just fall out of the sky, you know!! *The others look at him, disgusted* Jay: What? What?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HQ|Delta 07 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Band of Brothers - Part 6: bastogne Cpl. Eugene Roe: Toye, are you missing something? Joe Toye: Home. Cpl. Earl 'One Lung' McLung: Ask him to dance, Doc. Cpl. Eugene Roe: Toye, show me your feet. Joe Toye: You watch the goddamn line, McClung. [Toye's feet are wrapped in blankets] Cpl. Eugene Roe: Where're your boots? Joe Toye: In Washington up General Taylor's ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Jimmy Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Read my sig thing, it's not from a movie but it is still good. I don't know why I find it funny but I do. It's wierd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Q'ol Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield as Thornton Mellon, the world's oldest freshman. Rodney sits next to his son in class, fidgeting, while waiting for his professor, attempting not to be bored and hungover. Sexy, blonde teacher walks in and stands in front of the class about to address them. Rodney: "Oh! Who's that?" Son: "That's the poetry teacher." Rodney: "Whoa! I hope she can help me straighten out my Longfellow." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevanA4 Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 blade trinity Hannbal Cain: aww F*ck me, aww F*ck me sideways. (the entire movie theather busted out laughing at that) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (I'm not sure if this line is in the movie, but it is in the book) Marvin: That ship hates me just for talking to him. Ford: Slow down, Marvin. Do you know what happened to that ship. Marvin: I talked to him and it hates me. Ford: Yes, but do you know what happened to it? Marvin: I was bored and I wanted to talk to someon, so I connected to its computer. Ford: And? Marvin: It commited suicide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 Big Daddy Lawyer: Objection: We don't need the opinion from the defenant's father. Lenny Kofax: You want my opinion? My son is a moron. Lawyer: I withdraw my objection, please proceed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdKnightR Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 From Speed... Harry: "I'm gonna go home...have some sex." Jack: "You're gonna go home and puke!" Harry: "Well, that'll be fun too." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Q'ol Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Russell Ziske (Harold Ramis) from the movie Stripes When the army recruiter asked them if they were homosexual, his reply still kills me. "No were not homosexuals, but we are willing to learn." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vaelastraz Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Another one form ful metal jacket, iam not sure if it is correct though: Conversation between Joker and that wild guy, i think his name was animal mother. Joker: I am a combat journalist. guy: You seen any combat? Joker: Yeah, I ve seen a little on TV. guy: so you re the comedian here? Joker: yeah, my name is Joker. guy: iam gonna be the one who tears your new asshole Joker: But first you have to eat the peannuts out of my ****! bah my memory sucks but this scene is just pure fun... like the whole movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane, with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head. And, I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d**kless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey sh** he is! Hallelujah! Holly Sh**! Where's the Tylenol? ========= If you can't name the movie this is from... you are truly a deprived person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mimartin Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 The Princess Bride: (Again) Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years? Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed. Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours. Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death. Westley: No. To the pain. Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase. Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon. Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me. Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose. Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight. Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right. Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it. Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing. Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all. It took me a few moments so maybe I am just a semi-deprived person. Christmas Vacation? ^^^ Correct! ~ ChAiNz.2da Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth InSidious Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 From "The Big Sleep": Eddie Mars: Convenient, the door being open when you didn't have a key, eh? Philip Marlowe: Yeah, wasn't it. By the way, how'd you happen to have one? Eddie Mars: Is that any of your business? Philip Marlowe: I could make it my business. Eddie Mars: I could make your business mine. Philip Marlowe: Oh, you wouldn't like it. The pay's too small. Vivian: Hello. Police Headquarters, please. Hello, this is Mrs... Marlowe: (He grabs the phone and stops her call.) Hello. What do you want, please? Police: I don't want a thing. Marlow: What? Police: You called me. Marlowe: I called you? Say, who is this? Police: This is Sergeant Riley at headquarters. Marlowe: Sergeant Riley? Well, there isn't any Sergeant Riley here. Police: I know that! Now look brother... Marlowe: Wait a minute. You'd better talk to my mother. Police: I don't want to talk to your mother. Why should I want to talk to your mother... Vivian: Hello. Who is this? Police: This is the police. Vivian: The police! Well, this is no police station. Police: I know that! Vivian: Well if you know it, then why don't ya...Look, this is not a police station. Police: This is silly... Vivian: What was that you said?...My father should hear this. Police: I don't want to talk to your father... Marlowe: Hello. Who is this? Police: This is the police talking. Marlowe: Yeah, but she just told you that... Police: She just rang the police! Marlowe: Oh, you're the police. (Oh, he's the police.) Oh, well that's different. What can I do for you? Police: You can... Marlowe: I can do what? Where? Oh, no. I wouldn't like that, neither would my daughter. (Hangs up the phone.) I hope the sergeant never traces that call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Jimmy Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 The Road To El Dorado Tulio: All we need to do is play along long enough, load up on the gold, and get the hell outta here Miguel: Tulio, we'll be living like kings Tulio: Miguel and Tulio Miguel: Tulio and Miguel Both: Mighty and powerful gods Chel: Hello Miguel and Tulio: *girl's scream* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 heh, this one is good: Coming to America: 1) Akeem gets out of the aorport and comes on the road. Akeem:HALT! Taxi driver: You dumb f**k! later on, in the cab, akeem to his servant, Akeem: What does 'dumb f**k' mean? and later on in the movie: 2) Akeem (shouting on balcony): GOOD MORNING AMERICA! Somebody: hey! f**k you! Akeem: F**k you too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediKnight707 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 From "Not Another Teen Movie" Fat Guy (forgot his name): Can you hold onto my books? Black Guy: Sure why not? I am the Token Black Guy. I'm just supposed to smile, stay out of conversations, and say things like, "Damn! S**t! And Oh that is whack!" EDIT: Here's one from the greatest movie ever, Fight Club: Narrator: If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla Singer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Joker Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 From "Mister Roberts" Shore Patrol Officer in a thick southern drawl: A little while ago, six men from your ship broke into the home of the French Colonial Governor. They started throwing things through a plate glass living room window. We found some of the things on the lawn. Large world globe. Small love seat. A lot of books. A bust of Balzac. The French writer? We also found an Army private first class. He was unconscious at the time. He claims they threw him, too. Lt. (j.g.) Roberts: Through the window? Shore Patrol Officer: That's right. It seems he took them there for a little joke. He didn't tell 'em it was a governor's house. He told 'em is was, uh... well, what we call in Alabama... Lt. (j.g.) Roberts: Yeah, we call it the same thing in Nebraska. Shore Patrol Officer: Well, that's about all, Lieutenant. If it makes you feel any better, Admiral Wentworth says this is the worst ship he's ever seen in his entire naval career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niftyeye Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 scary movie 3: The archetect: You are too late! but not to late to make an old man happy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven_Onasi Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I love this bit from the Princess Bride. . . Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*. Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*. Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*. Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*. Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme. Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time. Vizzini: Enough of that. Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead? Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead. Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it. Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Jimmy Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 HA! MOTHERB****ES! The counter dude in Bad boys I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Q'ol Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 "What is it, Private?" "How do I get out of this chicken sh!t outfit?" "Now you secure that sh!t, Hudson!" "Alright, now listen up. I want this thing to go smooth and by the numbers. I want DCS and tactical assimilation by 08:30. Weapons strip and ship detail will have seven hours, now, move it people!" "Alright, you heard the man and you know the drill, a$$holes and elbows, Hudson, get over here! Get over heeere!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adept Havelock Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 From the Movie "Network"...the best rant ever. Howard Beale: I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth; banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter; punks are running wild in the street, and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat. And we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be! We all know things are bad -- worse than bad -- they're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out any more. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials, and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone." Well, I'm not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your Congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first, you've got to get mad. You've gotta say, "I'm a human being, goddammit! My life has value!" So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth InSidious Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 From Flash Gordon: Prof. Hans Zarkov: "Quick! Check the angular vector of the moon!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mav Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 OldSchool: Mitch Martin: True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend... Peppers: You should pull that out. Frank: Wait, pull what out? Peppers: The dart. You gotta f**king dart in your neck. Frank: [laughs] Y-You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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