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Preparing for the zombie menace.


El Sitherino

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Posted

So, in the future, when the inevitable attack from the zombie menace comes, how will my fellow swampies defend themselves?

 

I will personally arm myself with the following.

 

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It is known fact zombies hate Jazz-flute. Ron Burgundy plays jazz flute.

 

Therefore, Anchorman = entertaining zombie repellent.

 

 

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The ever-trusty boomstick, in this case a Remington model 105 CTi 12-gauge shotgun.

 

 

And when ammo is gone, and the DVD warps.

 

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Da-dao. To cut off heads and destroy some brains.

 

 

And as my house is probably not the best at keeping zombies out, I'll probably hold up at the sporting goods store, next to the food shops.

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Posted

I will of course bring Mich, he scares zombies into killing themselves, I will also bring with me the refreshing drink of root beer. No zombie can stand the bubbly goodness of root beer.

 

and i too shall have me a boomstick, gotta love the shotgun, and when ammo is gone, just use it as a flail

Posted

First, I would stay away from morgues, second, I would get down to the local swimming pool (it has a decent fence and I can't imagen zombies are the best swimmers). Third, Get my mate Thomas here quick-fast his job everyday is to kill zombies. Fourth, go to my stash of weapons that I keep there for when the zombies come. Arsenal includes, the beloved shotgun, Baseball bat, A stereo with a basement jaxx cd (perfect zombie killing listening.) , a small child (for bait) and a large sword (that I actually own). Let's not even get into the vampiric or care bear attacks...

Posted

I'll also follow Shaun's technique. I'll go hang out at "The Winchester" until the whole thing blows over.

 

You've got red on you.

 

I wonder if Dead Rising will have an antique record store you can raid. :D

Posted

Jus take my beloved semi auto 12g shotgun with all the ammo over to my friends house open up the gun safe which holds(not making this up)

AK-47

Single Shot Pistol (shotgun ammo)

Python

.357 Magnum

.45 Magnum with Scope (of course)

3 Riot guns

4 Rifles(dunno which calib)

plenty of booze to drink and for molatov cocktails

Cutless Sword

5 ft Gladiator style sword

2 Short Swords

A spear

Battle Ax

 

 

I think we're set

 

EDIT: Towels

Posted
Jus take my beloved semi auto 12g shotgun with all the ammo over to my friends house open up the gun safe which holds(not making this up)

AK-47

Single Shot Pistol (shotgun ammo)

Python

.357 Magnum

.45 Magnum with Scope (of course)

3 Riot guns

4 Rifles(dunno which calib)

plenty of booze to drink and for molatov cocktails

Cutless Sword

5 ft Gladiator style sword

2 Short Swords

A spear

Battle Ax

 

 

I think we're set

Don't forget to bring a towel.

Posted

AK-47

A rifle such as this is useless against a zombie, you're essentially wasting time, energy, and ammo with this.

 

Python

.357 Magnum

.45 Magnum with Scope (of course)

Also pointless.

 

Remember, you have to remove the head or destroy the brain. These guns, while good, aren't the best bet against a zombie.

 

4 Rifles(dunno which calib)

If scoped, good call. Snipe some headshots, however this should be your basic early defense, to clear space around your safehouse.

 

plenty of booze to drink and for molatov cocktails

Reckless and suicidal. Zombies are the undead, they don't die from shock like normal fire victims. They'll just keep coming at you to eat you, only now they're on fire and your **** is cooked.

 

Cutless Sword

5 ft Gladiator style sword

2 Short Swords

A spear

Battle Ax

All but the battle axe are good. Unless you are sufficient with such an easily clumsy weapon, I'd stick to simple to use (against zombies) weapons. Swords, basically just go for chopping off the head. Spear, stab em through the head then beat the **** out of their skull.

Posted
I got a balisong knife, which however can turn against me when in emo mood.

 

 

Hmm what about acquiring a flame thrower?

 

See this.

 

Zombies are the undead, they don't die from shock like normal fire victims. They'll just keep coming at you to eat you, only now they're on fire and your **** is cooked.
Posted

^^ Well, that depends on how many zombies there are. if they're only coming on a few at a time then sure, A car will do nicely for a time, But if they're in waves like, thousands of them then a car will only last so long before the damage is too great. And there's the fact that the constant THUMP bump bump Splat etc etc. will slow the car down greatly. Personally if I had a car then I would be driving away from the evilys.

Posted

I'll play the riff to Thriller. Why kill the zombies when I can have them under my thumb and take over the world in an unholy undead orgy?

 

If that doesn't work, uh...

 

\m/

Posted
^^ Well, that depends on how many zombies there are. if they're only coming on a few at a time then sure, A car will do nicely for a time, But if they're in waves like, thousands of them then a car will only last so long before the damage is too great. And there's the fact that the constant THUMP bump bump Splat etc etc. will slow the car down greatly. Personally if I had a car then I would be driving away from the evilys.

 

OK, a Land Rover then. It would take a lot of undead to stop one of those...

 

or, if you can find one, a tank.

Posted
I've changed my mind.

 

A tank.

But tanks leave you nowhere. When trying to make turns, zombies will definitely catch onto you. Eventually they'll get in.

 

You're now the undead (remember, they're retarded) in a tank.

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