Paradise

[Niner_777]

One of my school projects is to describe what my paradise would be. I have to write a 300-400 word essay on it. I have some ideas for mine, and I'll post it when I write it.

 

I was wondering what all of your paradises would be like. Maybe it'll give me some ideas. It doesn't have to be long, but try to use vivid words.

 

Thanks, I'm looking forward to your responses, and I think it will help me aswell.

[Diego Varen]

Hmm, my idea of Paradise?

 

1. No work.

 

2. No stress.

 

3. Nothing depressing.

 

4. Having my Computer.

 

5. Having my PS2/PSP.

 

6. Having certain games.

 

7. Having certain DVDs.

 

8. Making each day memorable.

 

I may think up more later.

[igyman]

Hmmm, let's see:

 

1) Very little or no work;

2) To have more than enough money;

3) To live in a world without wars and crime;

4) To have a lot of friends;

5) To be irresistible to girls (young women in my case);

6) To have my computer and all the games that interest me;

7) To be bigger and more rich than Bil Gates;

8) To be President/Emperor/Supreme Chancelor/insert desirable title here of the world in 3).

[Niner_777]

Those are good ideas. I'm working on mine now. It's more of a story and focuses more on describing my surroundings than what life is like there.

[CountVerilucus]

Me, on a tall balcony saluting my grand army of destruction after I just achieved world domination.

[Niner_777]

Here's what I came up with:

 

***

<insert catchy title here>

 

 

Maximus Power strode out of the sliding steel doorway of his friends house, and onto a massive concrete bridge standing over the city. He turned to wave goodbye to his friend standing beyond the threshold of the metal building. The domicile was made out of large metal sheets, stained turquoise in some spots, held together by bulky hexagonal bolts. The building was wrapped in a myriad of pipes and tubes used for transporting water, sewage, and electricity. As a matter of fact, the whole great city followed this basic industrial style. Ivy vines climbed up the building and spread to the other buildings stacked all around, above, below, and to the sides of Max’s friend’s house.

“See you later, Max,” his friend called out as he made his way to the other side of ledge of the bridge and made his way home for dinner. Large skyscrapers sunk beneath him and rose above him, from his place on the bridge. There were no cars, for the city was so compact, that everything was in walking distance. The only hard part was not getting lost.

Max dragged his hand along the concrete barrier on the side of the overpass as he strolled toward the waterfront side of the city. The rough edge scraped his hand as he went. He took a deep breath of the cool fresh air. The smokestacks of many factories pumped out smoke all around him, but recent technological advances had made the waste products of the factories artificially clean, rather than polluting the air.

When Max came to an intersection of bridges, he turned onto and even wider bridge and hiked over to the side facing the ocean. He leaned against the iron railing and took in the scene. The sun was setting at the ocean’s horizon, reflecting across the rippling water. Down and to the left lay a large sandy beach, filled with people laying on towels, building sandcastles, and unpacking picnic baskets for dinner. A strong warm breeze gusted through Max’s hair, the salt stinging his skin. It filled his ears with a soft roar. The air smelled of seafood, as the oceanfront restaurants began to cook their day’s catches. He began to feel hungry, but he knew that his mother had already started dinner back at home.

As he turned away from the ocean scene, he licked his lips, filling his mouth with a mild salty taste. He continued to shuffle down the bridge until he came to a glass elevator pod. When the doors had opened, he carefully walked in. A man wearing a tightly pressed black suit already stood, leaning against the glass. Max smiled at him and pressed the button for the ground floor. He looked out the window at the many buildings going by as they descended to the ground floor. Max got off, but the man in the suit stayed on as the elevator pod sunk into the ground far below.

Max gazed around him. He was now in the harbor part of the city. Thousands of motorboats and yachts were parked along piers extending from the coast. He continued through the shops and restaurants, stopping every so often to peer into the window of some store. Then, started heading back to the middle of the city. Looking up, Max saw countless catwalks and bridges stretching out above the businesses below. The main setup of the metropolis was public buildings and shops on the bottom few layers with factories and skyscrapers stretching to the sky. Individual houses and apartments were placed in between, wherever they would fit within the magnificent concrete and iron walls of the conurbation. Skywalks, stairs, and elevators connected everything.

Maximus noticed a roller coaster loop emanating from the ground. Seconds later, the train went though the loop, and rumbled away, back into the ground. The screams of excitement faded away with it. He walked closer to it, smelling the oil on the tracks. There was a sign that read “Underground Amusement Park – Entrance.” Next to that was a large set of stairs that led downward, into the ground. Max made a not of it’s location; maybe he’d see if one of his friends wanted to go there with him tomorrow.

As Max passed a small bakery, his stomach began to growl at him. “One chunk of bread won’t hurt,” he said to himself, walking into the store.

“What can I get for you, son?” the storeowner asked.

“Just a roll please,” Max replied, digging through his pocket. He pulled out two small coins and set them firmly on the counter, making a small clink.

The storeowner bent over and pulled a roll out of a bag. “Here you go. Would you like anything else?”

“No, thank you. Have a nice day.”

“You too, kid.”

Max ambled out of the store, the shopkeeper humming softly as he left. He gobbled down the crisp buttery roll, filling his mouth with delight. As he entered the busy city paths, Max glanced down at his watch. He’d better hurry up, or he might be late for dinner. He broke into a brisk jog, people blending in around him. Finally, he reached the grated stairway that led to the division of the metropolis in which his house was located. Up he went. At the top of the stairs, his shoes clanged against the corrugated metal path. He felt a raindrop plunk him on his head. Hurriedly, Max ran up another set of grated metal stairs, followed an elevated ally pass, turned the corner, and punched a four-digit code into a keypad. The door to his house whooshed open, just as the rain started to fall harder.

“I’m home,” Max called into the kitchen.

“Good,” his mother replied. “We’ll be eating in about fifteen minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a bit.” Max walked down a narrow hallway that led to a ladder. He climbed up it, through a small hollow cylinder that led up through the floor of his room. His whole room was taken up by his bed, which was built into the floor, except for a small desk and chair built into the wall. On the desk sat Max’s laptop. All around the bed were shelves and drawers. The ceiling was only about five feet tall, but that was how Max liked it.

Max lay down on his bed and looked out a wide rectangular window. Thick drops of water were splashing off it. From the height of his house, Max could just make out the tops of some of the skyscrapers. They were covered with gardens and artificial ponds. The plants would enjoy this rain. He opened the window just a crack to let some of the cool sweet air in. He breathed deeply, savoring the smell and comfort he felt. His bed felt soft. The air smelled fresh. His mouth tasted sugary. The drops of rain provided a steady beat in his head. Max closed his eyes and let the darkness overcome him. He was truly living in paradise.

 

 

 

***

 

There you have it. I hope my teacher doesn't mind that I went way past 400 words. I'll have to ask her. Anyway, I haven't proofread it yet, so there're bound to be grammar errors. If you see one, please point it out. Also, if you see any weak words that you think I could make more vivid, or if there is a spot that you don't quite understand, please bring it up. It'll help me lots because I know what I'm talking about, but other people might not, and I need them too.

 

In addition, I need an original title. If you have any suggestions, please post.

 

Thanks very much, and enjoy!

[HerbieZ]

My paradise. Balmy temperatures, sea breeze, sun drenched, large (farcry-like) tropical island. Unspoilt views and a clear sky with no light pollution at night. Peaceful, filled with lots of naked women and a hidden mansion with plush fur interior stocked with the finist alcoholic beverages known to man. Plus the most advanced gaming pc in the world and the fastest internet connection. Oh and a wall made of those crazy pimms biscuits that i did NOT imagine.

[stingerhs]

well, that's simple: two die.

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

Unlimited supply of Pudding Marshmallows and Diet Coke, an OC-16 internet connection, a kick ass computer, big desk for said computer and all my other stuff, comfortable chair.

[Bimmerman]

A Mclaren F1, Saleen S7, Radical SR3 and Ferrari F1 car(and more of the like, you all would get annoyed at the list), private island with my own racetrack, and lots of money to spend on cars and go fast car parts(not ricer stuff). Girls who are interested in cars as well.

[Sabretooth]

Well, i'm agnostic, so i suppose I don't believe in a spiritual paradise.

 

But as far as the real paradise goes, I'll be content with the ultimate liberation of the soul - fanaa (i think) for Muslims, or moksha for us Hindus. I want nothing of the material world, but I want peace, liberation and oneness with the essence of the world.

[Mav]

One of my school projects is to describe what my paradise would be. I have to write a 300-400 word essay on it. I have some ideas for mine, and I'll post it when I write it.

That is less than a page... what the hell has become of our schools.

 

Anyway, my idea of paradise, is living in the clouds, being able to fly, I've been fascinated by flight ever since I can remember. Imo, it's fairly sad to see how many people's idea of paradise is based on materialistic things, not saying we should run around naked, anyway I'll shut up, I don't want to stray the topic.

[Sabretooth]

That is less than a page... what the hell has become of our schools.

 

In my school you have to write two essays during English exams. One essay is small, about 150-200 words, while the other is 250-300 words. :xp:

[RC-1162]

well, at least you have one with 250-300. our max is 120 . i hate it when limitations are put on my imagination.

[stingerhs]

bah, wait till you get to college when they start making you do those 1000-2000 word essays on stuff you could sometimes care less about.

[RC-1162]

wooo yeah! now that's my idea of paradise!

[Negative Sun]

Just being able to travel through space would be mine, get off this damn rock and find a better place to live, discover new exotic things that go beyond the grasp of our feeble minds...

[tk102]

describe what my paradise would be

well, that's simple: two die.

I finally get it.

 

Sad part is I've heard that one before. (...mumbles something about getting old...)

[Negative Sun]

I'll have to ponder on that one lol, maybe it's my empty stomach...

[igyman]

discover new exotic things that go beyond the grasp of our feeble minds...

 

I'm reading this, but I'm hearing ''find the planet of exotic Twi'Lek dancers.''

 

Seriously, I too would love nothing more than to see mankind develop the technology for swift space travel (hyperspace, warp, whatever) and also terraforming technology. With those two developed we would easily be able to colonize the worlds of our solar system and then travel beyond and explore the galaxy. *starts to humm Star Trek Voyager theme*

[Negative Sun]

The line "Star Trekkin' across the Universe..." comes to mind hehe

[CSI]

I'm a practical person. Therefore my paradise is:

 

1. Good job with good pay.

 

2. A small but good house

 

3. A good car, like Mercedez-Benz SLR

 

4. A good computer (Mine is good enough)

 

5. And room of model weapons, both reality and in Star Wars.

 

6. Eh...Some stress would be fine, to push me forward.

 

7. And a cup of Starbucks coffee.

 

8. And a stable Cable Internet connection

 

9. Subscribe to CBS, and watch CSI episodes, every week.

 

10. I think that's it.

[HerbieZ]

5. And room of model weapons, both reality and in Star Wars.

 

If it's gonna be paradise they might as well be real.

[RC-1162]

i wanna Hyperdrive and a course set to Coruscant. and i wanna be VERY force-sensitive.

[Pho3nix]

Meh, my list would be too long and it's pretty time consuming to post it...