[Fic] Forgotten Scars

[Sabretooth]

“Dog!” He yelled. He kicked. Hard soles. Blood across my face.

 

“You're nothing but a worthless dog!”

 

It hurt.

-------

 

Earl settled on the worn, red cushion and scratched his salt-and-pepper stubble. His finger touched the label “Coffee” on the holographic menu and an affirmative click replied to his request. Earl looked around the cantina and then at himself. He wore old, grimy clothes – a dull green jacket, a faded and dirty suit of light armour inside and dark brown pants, torn at the knees and below. A serving droid whizzed past him and placed a cup of coffee as neatly as possible before him.

 

Earl smelled the coffee without a hint of decency and gulped it all down. He burped loudly. With a miserly smile he left his seat. He kept the paper cup with him, instead of throwing it into the waste disposal slot. He slid his credit card as he left the door and made his way to the parking lot, where his rented yellow speeder lay.

 

The speeder he had rented represented Earl in a number of ways. Both were dirty and both were were born on an outer-rim planet amidst violent mobsters, for an example. Earl hopped in and carefully took out the paper cup from his jacket, before swatting an insect on the dashboard. He then examined the inside of the cup and his grin went out of his face.

 

At the bottom of the cup, obscured by brownish-green stains of Zaukyan coffee, was a ten-digit code. It consisted of some Aurabesh letters interspersed with numbers and symbols. Earl crumpled the cup and put it into his pocket and looked up to see two Twi'Leks, one male and one female watching him. Both had the air of maverick bounty hunters and were possibly siblings.

 

The male walked ahead and held out his hand. “The code, please.” he demanded.

 

“Never!” Earl yelled a reply and jumped to his feet, only to suffer a powerful hit from a Gamorrean's baton. Earl slumped down, rubbing his back vigorously and taking off his jacket. He snapped a blaster, but his hand suddenly found itself inside that of the Gamorrean's. The latter disarmed Earl and holstered the pistol in his own belt. Earl gripped the cup in his hand, ready for a hand-to-hand defence, if it becomes necessary.

 

“Whatever happened to the Bounty Hunter code, kids?” Earl yelled out, trying to look as composed as possible.

 

“Bounty Hunter code?” the male jeered. “We're not on Nar Shaddaa, ya twerp! This is Zaukya! There are no silly codes here!”

 

“The Bounty Hunter code applies throughout Exchange space!” Earl retaliated, noting every movement.

 

“Perhaps to you, ya gonsuz!”

 

The Gamorrean sent his hand flying a punch towards Earl, but missed by a whole five inches. Earl jumped off of his seat, using it like a trampoline and punched the Gamorrean's snout as he landed, on the Gamorrean's foot.

 

The irritated alien waved his Gamorrean cleaver which he kept tied to his back till now. The cleaver dented the speeder badly, but missed Earl. Earl delivered a flurry of punches into the alien's stomach. The green hide was much thicker than he had expected. He was punching a solid green wall of stone. The Gamorrean picked Earl up and lifted him up.

 

“You fight like a moisture farmer!” the Gamorrean snorted.

 

“Yeah? Well you fight like a bantha.” Earl countered.

 

The Gamorrean snorted loudly and threw Earl back into his speeder.

 

The female chuckled loudly and stepped forward, trailing Earl's pitted cheek with her slender pale finger. Earl made a disgusted face in response “Come now, you really don't want to fight, do you?” she asked, advancing on him. Earl tried to keep his cool. Suddenly, an instinct pricked him.

 

He jerked back, but the Twi'Lek was already on his body. She toppled him onto the seat and wrapped her legs around his waist. She held a charged, modified vibroblade in her hand, across his throat. He croaked. He could feel the calm heat of the blade as it hovered half an inch from his throat.

“Now throw the cup over to my pal.” she whispered into his ear.

 

Earl fumbled and tossed the cup over, not caring where he threw it. He saw his hopes and dreams fill the cup and spill all over the concrete floor as he tossed it. He felt an invisible blade more powerful than the Twi'Lek's stab him repeatedly.

 

The Gamorrean caught the cup, which was grabbed by the male Twi'Lek from his hand. The female left Earl and joined her friends, laughing loudly. Earl tried to come to his senses. He had just been mugged in an exceptionally humiliating manner. Bounty hunters mugging bounty hunters! He dropped down and wiped his face with his equally dirty palm. Through tear-laden eyes he saw the two crooks, laughing away, ignoring the Gamorrean trying to tell them something. Earl hated them. He hated their slick glistening skin. He hated everything.

 

-------

 

“What did they do to you?” I asked. I yelled. I shook her shoulders. She sobbed. She fell on the bed. He laughed. “Can't even take care of your family.” He laughed hard. I shook my daughter. She was crying. Her mother was crying. My world was falling.

 

-------

 

Earl confirmed his flight's timing, checked it with the pale yellow ticket in his hand and trudged towards his unwelcoming seat in the waiting hall of the massive terminal. A waiter droid wheeled in before him and turned her tray towards Earl. “Would you like a coffee? Courtesy Scubstark Corp!” Earl grabbed a coffee, swiped his card on the waiter's arm and she buzzed away to the next customer.

 

Earl sipped his coffee calmly, trying to sort things out. He was getting too confused. He could imagine his mind like a convoluted labyrinth that changed randomly with every step. He was frustrated. He hadn't taken a bath in days. He had been running on money from the Bounty Hunters' Guild – which he had to repay. He had chosen the wrong target.

 

Placing his half-empty cup on the seat's arm, he groped for his datapad out It was a Bounty Hunter's datapad, provided by the guild. Stripped of most functions that datapads have, it possessed the ability to record one's movements, target data and related information. The “Active Target” screen showed a blank portrait. It was a crime lord who worked behind the scenes of the Zaukya Exchange.

 

The Exchange of Zaukya worked under a council of three “masters” who regularly met to discuss prospects. The functioning of Zaukya's Exchange was fairly mediocre, but its technique was admirably economical. There were rumours of Zaukya's exchange being larger than what it is portrayed as, and it having influence over corporations, politicians and even far off systems. The most popular and widely believed rumour was that the Zaukya Exchange's “masters” were directed by a higher crime lord, who lay hidden from public glare.

 

Earl's target was this very crime lord. The bounty was named by an anonymous merchant, who apparently had the credentials to back it up. The bounty was massive and had caught Earl's eye first. The bounty made indications of following a series of clues if one is to find the target, and the merchant was supposedly willing to lease informers for helping the Hunters. Earl figured it was easy and big cash. It would be tough, but he was desperate. And out of his senses.

 

Earl was a Coruscant-born human, and had his own informers. They had to be well-paid, but he managed them by terrorism, mercenary work, extortion, part-time gang work and of course, Bounty Hunting. He lost his skill when he drank too much one tipsy night in a Telosian cantina. He was in the same room as a bunch of thugs who wanted revenge on him. He left the room with a viciously battered body and hundreds of bone fragments.

 

The surgeries took hours and almost all his money. He couldn't pay more and Guild was unwilling to fund a medical operation. His treatment was cut short, though luckily it was his recuperating period. He made his way back to the galaxy with a scarred will, a weak body, two empty pockets and a mangy blaster. Earl, as he was was a year ago, was finished.

 

Earl's gaze shifted to the left, where he found a calm Wookiee drink coffee, the same flavour, and read his datapad. Earl found the Wookiee's calmness irritating. He glanced at the Wookiee's datapad. It was similar to Earl's, but appeared to be from a different Bounty Hunting Guild.

“You... a bounty hunter?” Earl asked in a raspy voice.

 

The Wookiee's eyes moved right and he set his datapad down on the lap and the coffee on the seat's arm. “That I am, yes.” he answered in Shyriiwook. He spoke using Basic grammar, which confused Earl for a while.

 

“Eh?” he uttered.

 

“What, are you shocked? I always speak this accent. I wasn't brought up on Kashyyyk, okay?”

 

Earl nodded. “What guild?” he asked.

 

“Freelance. Right now, I've signed on to Nar Shaddaa.”

 

“Nar Shaddaa? You're on... what target?”

 

“I don't think I want to tell you.”

 

“The code is off, man. We're on Zaukya.” Earl grinned.

 

“Is it? I don't think so. The Nar Shaddaa rules state that discussion of a Nar Shaddaa target with another Bounty Hunter is a breach of code. You can check it in your datapad. The code applies all across Exchange space.”

 

“No. But...” Earl retreated and muttered a series of curses and questions. He couldn't differentiate between the two.

 

“You were always a bounty hunter?” he Wookiee asked, trying to change topic.

 

Earl nodded again. “But before, I was a slaver. Didn't work out for me, so I tried bounty hunting and well, that's where I've been.”

 

“You were a slaver?” he Wookiee asked, his face mildly threatening.

 

“Not Wookiees!” Earl laughed, “they're too big. I traded refugees, beggars, poor people, criminals, anybody worth being forgotten. But I wasn't too good at it, to be honest.”

 

“Not good at slavery? You look like a slave yourself.”

 

“Ha, well, I suppose so. Never mind, I don't want to talk about that. What about you?”

 

“I always wanted to be an astrophysicist.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah. Everyone says that. What? It makes me sick.”

 

“I've never heard of a Wookiee having... scholarly interests, that's all.”

 

“I applied for a university, but they couldn't understand my accent. It's all discrimination. I had no money, my parents were enslaved and dead. I became a bounty hunter.”

 

“Well, I better be off.” Earl got up and finished his lukewarm coffee. He set the cup down and strolled away. He didn't go five steps before something struck him. It was an intuition shared by all bounty hunters everywhere. A strange sign of danger, unexplainable by psychology.

 

Earl paced back to his seat and found that the Wookiee was missing. The Wookiee had left his datapad and cup there, for some reason. Earl found his own cup on the armrest. He picked it up and peered inside. It had the same code he had seen an hour ago. Intrigued, he examined the cup all over and stuffed it into his jacket.

 

He sat in the Wookiee's seat, trying to look unnoticeable and checked the cup. It was empty and free of stains. It also had the code. Earl felt his brain dissolve in a mild euphoria. He examined the cup and compared it with the one he had – both were identical. The informers must be shared between bounty hunters, he decided. He stuffed that one in a different pocket, just to be safe.

 

His ears pricked as he heard a slight ruffling sound on the floor. It was evening in Zaukya and everything was bathed in a golden-orange glow, which elicited a sense of chirpy melancholy. Earl looked in the direction he heard the sound and found a lone, crumpled cup. Earl picked it up and propped it open. The code was there. Earl's heart skipped a beat.

 

Earl approached the waiter and ordered a cup Tarisian Ale. The waiter disappeared behind the din of the kitchen and returned with a can of branded Ale. It had the logo of the Zaukya Spaceport Authority on it, and was manufactured by Scubstark. He finished it as soon as possible and dissected the can with a Portable Energy Cutter. The can's inside showed the code. Earl's head was spinning. Had he been deceived? What was going on?

 

His maelstrom of questions was interrupted by a high-pitched beeping coming from the Wookiee's datapad, which he had forgotten. He picked it up, while looking around for the Wookiee. The datapad showed a Target Update. Earl activated it and found that the Wookiee's target was the same as his. And the target's full identity had been revealed.

 

Earl's confusion was replaced by an absolute hate. He knew the target. He and his target had unfinished business. Revenge. Pain. He contacted his Chief Informer. He suddenly knew how to get to his target.

 

-------

 

Ovian Markore's office would have been the most expensive and well-decorated office in all of Zaukya, had it been on sale. It was an office fitting for any crime lord, especially for one as deserving as Ovian Markore, crime lord of Zaukya. The office was hourglass-shaped, with one area designated a lobby and the other as Ovian's workplace.

 

The two halves were divided by a short, curved bridge. Underneath the bridge and filling rest of the room was an open aquarium. Many fish were visible inside and no-one knew how deep the aquarium was. But what everyone knew were that amidst the other fish swam Edospol Piranhas.

 

Ovian was in his office at dusk. The office had no windows, though a fake window showed a high-resolution recording of the vista outside his building. The window was massive, almost wall-spanning and was also the room's primary source of light during the day. Its lighting systems had been finely tuned so as to provide perfect lighting.

 

Ovian ran his fingers through his chestnut-brown hair and grinned at the holographic security cam that he saw before him. He saw Earl, an old acquaintance stealthily 'avoid' his security. The truth was that Ovian had assigned his guards to permit Earl into the building, but avoid him purposefully. The command was in accordance to the grander game he had built around Earl.

 

Earl took not more than fifteen minutes to navigate through air vents, empty corridors, warehouses and several other rooms in Ovian Markore's complex. He had guessed that the guards had been called off, by the time he had undertaken half of his stealthy journey. Earl's mind was no longer on the massive bounty, but on his target. He had to take him out. It was a matter of his ego more than ever now.

 

The elevator slowed to a halt and a cordial 'ding' opened the doors. Earl stepped out fast and used his compact vibroblades to slice the two guards guarding the elevator. They dropped to their feet quickly and Earl tossed the blades into aquarium, filling it with a reddish tinge. Ovian Markore was at the other side of the room, waiting.

 

“I will not call the guards.” Ovian announced. “This is between you and me.” He rose from his table and stepped ahead, taking out an exotic, curved vibrosword. He had a Mandalorian Mêlée Shield under his sleeves. He wore a genial black business suit and his appearance was well groomed, his hair combed and his face shaved. He had a debonair and charismatic look to him.

 

“Dog!” Earl screamed and charged up the round bridge. Ovian readied himself. “You will always be a slaver.” he said calmly before he artfully parried Earl's inconsiderate lunge. Earl was a trained swordsman, as was Ovian.

 

Earl got exhausted quickly after a four-minute duel. He jumped out, over the table and rolled back. He tried to catch his breath and charge up his energy. When Ovian was only a step away from the table, Earl made his move. He made a passado, using the chair and then the table as leverage. Ovian dodged and kicked the table at just the right moment, making Earl lose his balance.

 

Earl fell hard on his face and before he could take a breath, he was disarmed and lifted by the back of his collar. “Dog.” Ovian whispered into his ear. “Now you know what it's like being a dog.”

 

Earl screamed in fury and broke free of Ovian's grasp, tumbling his way to the bridge. He glanced over the railing. The piranhas were excited by the taste of blood – they were leaping upwards, but there was distance of some nine feet between the bridge and the water. Ovian knew what Earl was thinking of.

 

“Do you remember that day, monster? When you held me by the throat, when my body had been lashed a hundred times. When I had been electrified to the point where I would have died? I swore revenge that day.” Ovian spoke, taking cautious steps towards Earl. “This was all part of the plan of my revenge. It has been a long time since that day, but everyday since, I've made efforts. I've made efforts to exact that revenge. The final day has arrived.”

 

“I will not be killed by a worthless slave.” Earl replied, through clenched teeth.

 

“Of course not. My piranhas will do the dirty work. You see, I have learnt a great deal of things since I escaped Nal Hutta. Things you would never consider.”

 

“You can't... you can't be the boss of Zaukya....” Earl whimpered.

 

“That I am. I have my own crime syndicate, anonymity and a mind hungry for revenge. I posted the bounty, I own Scubstark, I hired the Twi'Leks and Gamorrean.”

 

“No...”

 

“And, I hired the help of Grallha, a close friend of mine. The wookiee?”

 

“Impossible...”

 

“The bounty, everything, had been carefully moulded around you. I wanted you to come here, before me. You understand, right? I can't come out on my own.”

 

Earl made another hopeless charge at the armed Ovian. Ovian made a mock slash at Earl, which didn't connect. Ovian fluidly dodged Earl's punch. He grabbed Earl's other arm from behind and applied his Echani training on him. Earl's body was lifted straight in the air and he flew like a rocket towards the bridge.

 

He crashed into the bridge and a sharp sting rose up through his knee. His body bent back, hurting his spine as well. He lay as a mangled body on the bridge, his hand dangling out. He was conscious and wondering what to do. His entire body felt battered and sore. The familiar weakness had set in. The sky was falling.

 

Ovian leaned over Earl. He saw the pain in him. Ovian knew that revenge should be carried out swiftly and preferably, in one go. Yet, he couldn't resist the sight of Earl in pain. Many years ago, he had been in the same position.

 

Earl made a surprise kick into Ovian's chin. Ovian's head smashed against the durasteel railing. He felt a dull, thumping pain gather in his head. He felt dazed. Earl kicked Ovian's face straight off and Ovian lost his balance. He fell back, but not down the bridge. Ovian got to his feet, but Earl was already up. It was Ovian's turn to be mad.

 

Ovian launched a calculated flurry of blows, of which most missed. Earl took the opportunity and rammed his head into Ovian's. He heard Ovian cough loud and exhale heavily. Earl grabbed Ovian from under the shoulder and lifted him. He sent Ovian over him and the bridge's railing. Ovian, sensing this grabbed Earl.

 

Earl fell back over the bridge himself. Time seemed to slow down. Both were over the railing, turning over, falling. Ovian grabbed the railing as soon as possible and just as he was about to climb back up, he felt a heavier weight pull him down. It was Earl. He had grabbed Ovian's waist. Earl fumbled around and caught hold of a blaster.

 

Ovian was alarmed. He tried to pull both weights up. He knew it was a risky manoeuvre. He could get shot the minute he got up. He grinned and looked below at a nasty Earl. The kicked Earl hard, and kept kicking. Earl was in a humiliating position, dangling from Ovian's waist and suffereing a series of hard kicks. He couldn't stand it. His ego couldn't stand it. It was over.

 

He charged the blaster and fired straight into Ovian's stomach. Ovian paralysed. For a second, his heartbeat stopped and mind froze from shock. Then his open mouth formed a smile. He felt his body loosen, as did Earl. Earl tried to climb up as soon as possible. He knew what was coming. But he didn't.

 

Ovian's blaster was modified. Ovian's clothes instantly caught fire. Ovian let his grip go. “Birds of a feather flock together.” he whispered loud enough for Earl to hear as he slipped past. Earl was just about to grab the railing when his clothes caught fire. He felt his temperature increase rapidly. He panicked. His body felt numb and weak. He tried to grasp the railing, but his hand was just too weak. It slipped.

 

He fell into the water. He descended into aquarium, water dousing his flames. Underwater, he saw Ovian's face descend. It was dead. But it was grinning. A grin that was fading. Suddenly, Earl found his body ripped from himself. A million stinging bites echoed across himself. The piranhas had attacked.

 

Vengeance had been exacted, Earl thought as he felt parts of his frail body disappear. But whose vengeance was it?

[RC-1162]

This is a really original piece here and I enjoyed it right up to the end. The emotions between Earl and Ovian have been very well portrayed and Ovian's manipulation of events and people just to get to Earl was very nicely done. The story flows smoothly and is very engrossing. I liked the way the fight scene was written, it was descriptive and easy for me to visualise. There were the occasional grammar errors, but overall it was a fun read.

[Sabretooth]

Ack, the grammar! And I thought I had edited it right! Thanks for the feedback, though.

 

I really need to start scrutinizing my writing before I post it.

[Diego Varen]

So far Sabre, this is my favourite entry this month. Earl is a good character and I would like to see a larger piece of Fan Fiction on him. Length is great and the description here is also great. The one thing wrong though is the ocassional spelling error, but other than that great. This Fan Fic is the first on my list to deserve a vote.

 

9/10

[Darth InSidious]

Good grief, Sabre! Is this a short story or a three-volume novel?!

 

This is good, but I do have a couple of criticisms. The use of Earl's name so often is a little irritating. Perhaps you could use a personal pronoun ocassionally instead? It's also not clear how some parts connect together, but I suppose I can't complain about that...I also found the fight scenes rather difficult to visualise. Stylistically, it was also perhaps a little undeveloped.

 

Nonetheless, engrossing and well written.

 

Overall, very strong. 7.5/10.

[Emperor Devon]

Nicely done, Sabre! The fic was written well for the most part, and the ending was a nice twist. My only complaints are the frequent use of various characters' names, and the history of the various characters - I thought you could've been a bit clearer on that.

 

Pretty good overall! 7.6/10

[Sabretooth]

Hmm... yes, the histories. I wanted the style to be such that the backgrounds remain hazy throughout the story, but get cleared up at the end. And I had to keep stuff as concise as possible. I agree, though - it could have been much, much better.

[Bee Hoon]

It was original, but I've seen better fics from you:p The only thing this one is lacking is polish; some of the descriptions are awkward. As already has been mentioned, their names are overused. Nice anagram for the coffee brand there:p All in all, a good fic, but would really be great with a bit more editing!

[Sabretooth]

Nice anagram for the coffee brand there:p

 

LOL, I'm glad somebody figured that out.

 

I included another anagram in there. See if you can figure it out.

[Lord Spitfire]

This was a beautiful peice of work. There was nice character chemistry and interaction, and the descriptions were well-balanced, though at times a little vague. This story was very deep, and was extremely well-organized, and was unique.

 

I think that this was the best peice of work that i have seen from you BY FAR. This was much better tan 'The Dusk Lady' and your other fanfictions. For all but a few grammar mistakes which I don't care about, this was a fantastic raed.

[JasraLantill]

The scene decriptions were very good and I liked your original character of Earl.

 

Couple of things that confused me though. One was the appearance of the Gamorrean. You mention that Earl saw "two Twi'Leks, one male and one female watching him. Both had the air of maverick bounty hunters and were possibly siblings." And then this Gamorrean shows up in the fight that follows. :s Wasn't sure how Earl missed him as Gamorreans aren't exactly known for stealth.

 

Second thing... the talking Wookiee sort of surprised me. I always thought that Wookiees were unable to speak Basic because of the anatomy of their vocal cords, yet your Wookiee speaks Basic, albeit with an accent.

 

Smooth style and easy to read though. Good job!

[Sabretooth]

1. Earl was irritated and not exactly in his senses. The Twi'Lek's distract him (at the very moment Earl is the most insecure) and the Gamorrean does his job.

 

2. Note that I've never said that the Wookiee could 'speak' Basic. He spoke Shyriiwook in with Basic grammar, which was hard for people to understand and surprising. It's like speaking Basic with Shyriiwook words throughout.

 

@Spitfire: Now that's surprising! IMO, the first episode of the Dusk Lady is my best work yet.

[Jae Onasi]

I like the ending and the question of whose revenge it really was. I found some parts really disjointed--I thought the first scene, for instance, was Earl--consider finding a way to make it clear that it's Ovian, or at least not Earl. I couldn't follow the scene at all with the mother and daughter--I found it pretty confusing. I like the description of Ovian's room and the aquarium, along with the battle scenes.

 

One thing--instead of saying 'he missed', describe instead what the sword or blaster bolt did as it missed, e.g. 'the blade slashed through the air, so close that Earl could feel the breeze as it whipped by.' or 'Ovian dodged, and the blaster bolt sizzled by harmlessly.' Consider making the entire story centered on the battle in Ovian's office, and doing brief flashbacks to fill in any backstory between the characters--I liked that final scene the best out of the whole piece.

[Sabretooth]

I like the ending and the question of whose revenge it really was. I found some parts really disjointed--I thought the first scene, for instance, was Earl--consider finding a way to make it clear that it's Ovian, or at least not Earl. I couldn't follow the scene at all with the mother and daughter--I found it pretty confusing. I like the description of Ovian's room and the aquarium, along with the battle scenes.

 

Well, thanks. But the two scenes (of the mother and daughter and the first scene) are supposed to be like confusing flashbacks that hint that someone had been abused, or suffered injustice. But it isn't clear who the victim was. In the first half, we think Earl could be the one in first person, but towards the end it turns out just the opposite.

 

One thing--instead of saying 'he missed', describe instead what the sword or blaster bolt did as it missed, e.g. 'the blade slashed through the air, so close that Earl could feel the breeze as it whipped by.' or 'Ovian dodged, and the blaster bolt sizzled by harmlessly.' Consider making the entire story centered on the battle in Ovian's office, and doing brief flashbacks to fill in any backstory between the characters--I liked that final scene the best out of the whole piece.

 

Naw, I really like the earlier bits, though what you say is good. I'm really not the sort who can do "brief" flashbacks (unless the award-winning, highly stylized flashbacks I have here). But thanks for the stuff on language. That is very useful stuff.

[Sabretooth]

Trivia

 

* There were three intentional anagrams used in the story.

The first is Zaukya, the anagram for Yakuza.

 

The second is, Scubstark - the anagram for Starbucks.

 

The third is Edospol (Piranhas), which is an anagram of Poodles. This is a reference to Piranha Poodles, from The Secret of Monkey Island.

 

* Ovian Markore's office was loosely based off the office of Max Chen, from Deus Ex.

 

* The line "You fight like a moisture farmer!" is also a Monkey Island rip-off. The original exchange is, "You fight like a dairy farmer!", "Yeah? Well you fight like a cow!"

 

* The general plot of the story was inspired off the Korean film Oldboy.

[Empress Padme]

I love it. I was warned that it was epic but its not.It's at perfect length.Now to go deal with those who called it epic.