Keyan Farlander Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Sorry edlib, that sucks. Best thing to do now is act like it ain't no thang, you know? Like you got plenty of other stuff to do. That way she won't get all uncomfortable around you, thinking you're still thinking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Well... she's actually sent me a couple of long, heartfelt e-mails about it, saying she feels terrible about having to let me down. It's nice to think I have touched someone else's life enough in some regard that they feel inclined to think about my feelings. This is very surprising to me. I expected, at best, maybe a: "No. I don't think that would be a good idea." And I would have been satisfied with that answer. It wasn't what I wanted or hoped to hear... but it was precisely what I expected to hear. I never expected her to feel she had to explain herself. It might be the opposite of what you'd expect; but the fact that somebody thinks enough of me to worry about how I feel after something like this actually makes me think that there might actually be some hope for me after all. But honestly: I actually feel pretty OK. And I'm not just saying that to be macho or whatever. Getting it off my chest was a huge relief for me. I still wish the answer had been different... but I unexpectedly don't see it as the end of the world. The fact that I'm not going to be driving myself crazy thinking "Maybe? Maybe not?" anymore is a huge burden lifted. If anything, I am really embarrassed for myself that I allowed myself to read all those things into the situation that I now know weren't there. Logically, I did keep saying internally that it really couldn't be what I thought, and that I was making a mistake here... but just I let my emotions get away from me this time, and I succumbed to wishful thinking. On the other hand, at the time, for all I knew, I could have been right. Had I talked myself out of it, not made the move, let the moment slip by, let years pass, only to find out later (and much too late...) that I had been right, and didn't do anything about it at the time... it would have simply destroyed me. I've done that a couple of times already. I couldn't take it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I don't see that reading into things really matters. It's not like you have to wait for some sign that a girl is madly in love with you before you ask her out. You don't even have to be madly in love with her. You just have to think she is a nice person and want to spend a little time with her. No commitments or deep emotions. Just, you know, going on a date, talking, having a nice evening. The deep stuff should develop with time. We, as a society, don't seem to do it this way anymore, which I think is a bad thing. People aren't giving one another a chance because they don't fall hopelessly in love at first sight. Well, this isn't the damn movies, and life doesn't actually work that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Well... true. I was probably way over cautious because of the "working closely alongside every day" factor. I wanted to make sure I didn't to go somewhere I wasn't welcome, and mess up what at the moment is a cozy working environment. I did want to spend some time with someone who has actually already proven she likes me, and is already willing to put up with a lot of my nonsense. I've already told her this too... She actually asked me if I wanted to see a movie with her a few weeks back. That was when I started to look for signs in earnest. I've been attracted to her for a long while, but didn't let myself act on it, or even think seriously about it. Toyed with the idea off and on, but never considered doing it for real. It wasn't until that moment that I really thought there might actually be something there. It retrospect, she was just being nice. But it was enough to set me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K_Kinnison Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I agree Keyan, dating has turned into nothing more then shopping. Girls seem to rely more on gut checks and feelings to decide who they are going to have a date on, and if you are not cute you dont have much of a chance to gain anything. It all has become so superficial, it is maddening that looks are the only thing that matter. WHen there is SO much more to a person then that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I agree Keyan, dating has turned into nothing more then shopping. Girls seem to rely more on gut checks and feelings to decide who they are going to have a date on, and if you are not cute you dont have much of a chance to gain anything. It all has become so superficial, it is maddening that looks are the only thing that matter. WHen there is SO much more to a person then that Well, I think there are other things. I know some hedious-looking guys that get a lot of girls based on their senses of humor, "confidence", and money. Now, none of those things are bad. It's good to have a sense of humor, have confidence, and be a good provider. But it is still missing the point. Is this person honorable, virtuous, and do we have a common vision and goals for life? These are really the essential criteria, and they are the most overlooked qualities of all. Sometmes I think arranged marriages was a better system, instead of letting young, inexperienced, hormone-driven people make the call o_o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 i broke down and bought the zen stone mp3 player. gonna try it out in a few. apparently i was pretty drunk on satrday morning after dennys...my friends repeated a few things i said...that i only thoght i was thinking anyways what i said is that i wanted to **** my assistant manager. i guess it is kind of hilarious, that being the first thing that i don't remember saying while under the influence. i guess the girl i found on myspace doesn't really want anything to do with me. i posted a comment on her myspace and she removed it. she did read my emails but did not respond to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cmdr. Cracken Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Women confuse me, thus I have given up trying. No point in making myself worry and fret. If someone likes me for the arrogant yet gigantic doofus that I am, with out me pretending I'm someone I'm not, then in the end.... I think I win. Meh, Party hard man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Women confuse us all. I wonder if they have any idea how much... I think things are cool with her now. I hope things are cool with her... There was a surprising amount of e-mail drama back and forth in the last couple of days, but it all seems resolved. I never intended for her to ever take it so personally. I seriously pictured it going down like... Her: "No. Sorry." Me: "Yeah, OK. I understand." And that really being the end of it for the most part. Maybe a few days of discomfort around each other at work... but even that would work itself out as time passed. I summed the whole thing up at one point as: "I thought I was catching a vibe; decided to try to explore it; found out I was mistaken; it just didn't pan out; the end." I can't be the first guy she has ever had to turn down. Maybe this was all because of the somewhat close friendship that has developed lately? Or perhaps it's because she's such a nice, empathetic person that she just can't stand the idea of hurting someones feelings in this way might just be more likely. But, being a guy, and being forced into the initiator role in the homo-sapiens mating dance, that's exactly what we have to force ourselves to face every time we put ourselves out there and take a chance. Show tonight was pretty easy,.. and very, very cheesy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 got my mp3 player charged and loaded a few tracks onto it. it's pretty nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zargon Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 bitches be crazy. seriously, they are all insane. deal with it. sorry to hear ed, but atleast yes, she cares about your feelings, that should make things at work less weird now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 One can only hope. But I've already run into her today, and it seemed relaxed. Nothing was mentioned... but we agreed on that online already. I think we are alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 lol my friend told the mgr what happened. she was cool with it i think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Hooray! 6:30 pm and it's still light out! You go, Daylight-Savings Time! I wish it were warmer today, I'm sure I would walk. Maybe if I'm lucky this week the weather will pick up. I need to start exercising regularly again. I'll get completely back in shape and back down to my ideal weight this year if it kills me. Headin' home... EDIT: Random Thought: (Yeah... I just felt like doin' another one of these again...) The other night, tearing down the stage after the concert, the inevitable free-association conversation that floats around in that situation turned to memories of childhood pop-culture icons. By the time it got around to the Smurfs, it of course degenerated quickly into the time-old "One Smurfette; 400 Smurf-Dudes" topic of choice, and of all the possible alternative-lifestyle choices that ratio would have to include in order to work. One particularly memorable, albeit heinous, turn of phase may have been coined at one point in this conversation. It might have been "Double Smurf-itration." It might have been coined my me. Yeah folks... this is the kind of class guy you are all dealing with here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 i just rented beowulf, scary movie 4, and the darjeeling limited. bored and i got alot on my mind. I think i'll stay up and watch them all. oh yeah, i tried something brand new today. a customer had some groceries, and included in his items, was...pickled pig feet. now i've seen these before, but didn't take notice of how inexpensive they are. so what do i do on my 15 minute break? hell yeah. i went and got myself a jar of em and went into the break room. not too bad really, tho i would have rather had a bowl, i didn't eat too much of it cause i would've made a huge mess. darjeeling was OK. beowulf was too long and drawn out, pretty boring as well, as i kept falling asleep near the end of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K_Kinnison Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 pickled pig feat... I almost rather have haggis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Mmmm... scary food. Count me out, thanks. Work was another easy one. Yay. The rest of the week should be pretty chill too. Get my hands on Mac laptop tomorrow. That should be pretty exciting. Spent some time shooting the **** with the girl. Just small talk. Seemed really relaxed and easy... nothing felt forced or tense at all. I'm sure there were quite a bit of unconscious and unspoken embarrassed glances... probably mostly on my part. But, hopefully, from an outsider's point of view, nothing between us looks any different than it did on Friday. I can't deny that there are still some raw nerves in there for me... but they are healing. Striving very, very hard to keep my mind from falling into any "what if" games about any of this, and keep a cold, steely eye on reality. It is what it is, that's all it will ever be... and I accept that. To even allow myself to ever think otherwise would probably lead me down the path towards becoming crazy, creepy, restraining-order stalker guy... and I refuse to let that take place. I like and respect her far too much to ever let that happen. She doesn't deserve that. Nobody does. While out at lunch with my XBox buddy from work, we passed the game store. Bought 'Gears of War' and 'Over-G Fighters' today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 my mom and i went to see 10,000 b.c. it was actually a pretty good movie, i might go see it again cause my dad wanted to see it but he was working. i bought the newest Seether cd from walmart, so i'm listening to that. Got a storage unit for all my stuff. hopefully i won't use up the whole area...i'd rather sell/throw most of my junk out...that will make moving so much easier. i also put some more music i have stored on my parents' computer onto my mp3 player. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 "Gears of War" is AWESOME!!! It's really hard, and I suck at it so far. Haven't mastered the 'take-cover' controls yet. But co-op is a blast! "Over-G..." Meh... not so much. Looks, sounds and feels last-gen. Probably a good PS2 game, but a kinda lame 360 one. Feels slow and clunky next to the glory that is Ace Combat. I'll give it a better shot some other day, however. Maybe it will grow on me... but I'm glad I didn't spend full price on it. Funny thing is: I read a couple of reviews that said this was a better game than Ace Combat. As a flight sim, it might be a bit more realistic... but in no way is it a better gaming experience. EDIT: Just noticed we are about 20 posts from overtaking the '06 thread. Nice work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I'm addicted to firefight mode on GRAW 2. It's a good way to get used to the multiplayer maps, plus it feels like classic ghost recon. I got a custom setup so i have inifinite respawns, enemy infantry on medium difficulty, and enemy choppers off, oh and a 60 minute time limit. just played the RR bridge map, it's freakin awesome!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Listened to some Kenny Loggins on the way to work this morning. He's one of my favorites. I believe I can state with confidence that, while Caddyshack 2 may be the worst thing ever created by man, Kenny Loggins gave it a kick-ass theme song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zargon Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 my back is sore...great timing too as I am going to asst coach a HS club soccer team and practice starts tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 take an aleve and see if the commercials are right. lol decided to come home for lunch. i'm taking a 90 minute lunch break to cut overtime...i put in for my personal time since i was sick 2 saturdays ago. i'll be closing by my lonesome tonight thanks to my coworker getting sick on the job. and i gotta close by myself tomorrow too! oh well, i'll make the most of it. I've been working my ass off today, getting most of my department dusted and clean, it makes the time go by faster, got about half the inventory done. I think I'll clean up the living room when i get home and play more GRAW 2. I'm finding the A4 Rifle to be an excellent weapon of choice as opposed to the M468. You can do co-op firefights, which is pretty fun if you don't wanna do adversarial. I'm saving for a laptop. Cracken, does Best Buy have a good selection or would it be better to order online, cause I'm planning on buying it at Best Buy. Walmart has a pretty ****ty selection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K_Kinnison Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 i would really question your intelligence if you bought a computer from Wally mart Dell has some great packages, and some great service options Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Just got my PowerBook. It's pretty peppy compared to the older one. HATE the keys and touchpad, though. Need to get a REAL keyboard/ mouse combo for it. Some speakers too. These are teh suck. Lunch with some co-workers, including the girl. I'm pretty sure everything is totally back to normal now. I'm going to relax and stop worrying about it. Gotta get home and do some more Gears Of War. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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