The Excuse Game

[Darth Avlectus]

Nah, wouldn't work b/c I don't even LOOK like I'm a doctor.

 

 

Go to a YMCA rodeo,

[Ghost]

but i don't have a horse.

 

Go jump in a lake!

[Tobias Reiper]

But it's frozen!

 

Drink this bottle of hot sauce.

[Hallucination]

But I can't find it, where'd you put it?

 

Tell me if this rag smells like chloroform to you.

[Alkonium]

*smells it* *SLAM!*

 

Deep-fry an airbag.

[Ghost]

But I don't like Air!

 

Go Die in a Hole!

[purifier]

I already did - about 10,000 years ago, then some smart-ass necrophiliac came along and decided too use my body for a chair (among other things). So I appealed to the Grim Reaper, while in spirit, and he resurrect me, and therefore, crowned me as the Purifier; and I also took my revenge upon the necrophiliac btw, for which to this day, he hangs as a scare-crow in my garden - ALIVE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get yourself a solid metal screwdriver and stick it in a 240 volt outlet.

 

 

*zzzzzzzzt! - zzzzzzzzzzzt! - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt!*

[Totenkopf]

I can't.....I'm too busy fiddlin with the transformer out.....KABOOM!

 

Don't wirte up your last will and testament right now.

[purifier]

*just finishes writing up 1 year's worth of will and testament*

 

Damn'it Totenkopf! - Now you tell us. *grumble*grumble*

 

 

 

Go slide down a snow capped mountain in the nude, while using your own a$$ as a toboggan sled.

 

 

(Hmmmmm....that could equate to some major freezer burn).

[Ghost]

takes 2.7 years sliding down the mountain with my butt

aww, now I have to chop off my @$$ and arms, DARN YOU PURIFIER Now you get to pay for the replacement

 

Go worship Cartman

[Darth Avlectus]

You mean the fat ass with a pretty mouth? He put his foot in his own mouth. How can anyone worship his band hero performance...they can't.

 

 

Go chuck some ninja stars at Mr. Buzzcut.

[Ghost]

but they are too fast!

 

Go sit on a BBQ for 1 hour with the temp on high

[Alkonium]

I don't have a BBQ.

 

Run your computer's parts through the dishwasher.

[Ghost]

but my dishwasher is broken

 

Do a 90 degree angle wallsit for 3 days with no food or water and on one leg

[Alkonium]

I'm not entirely sure what you mean.

 

Don't use your fingernails to claw your eyes out.

[Tobias Reiper]

But I want to know what it feels like!

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!

 

 

 

Okay, now that I'm back from the hospital, Stab Alkonium in the face.

[Totenkopf]

Can't, too busy sitting against the wall and I've developed an incredible cramp in my calf.

 

Stab Alkonium in the face yourself.

[Tobias Reiper]

I would, but I don't have eyes anymore, so I can't see him to stab him.

 

Kick Alkonium. In the face.

[Alkonium]

My legs don't bend that way.

 

Steal someone else's eyes and graft them onto you with duct tape.

[Ghost]

i'm out of duct tape

 

Get rammed in the jaw from a Basketball Player at full speed

[purifier]

(I'm gonna take a page out of Totenkopf's book and say.......)

 

No thanks. And anyway, watching you "get rammed in the jaw from a Basketball Player at full speed" is a lot more fun...so I really don't have too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get circumcised three times.

 

*purifier begins to sing* Once - Twice - Threeee tiiiiiiiiiiiimes a laaaadyyyy.............

[Totenkopf]

I ain't Jewish....thank you very much (yeah, I know, it ain't only Jews that get "scalped" down there, btw).

 

Don't have sex with Hilary Clinton and Janet Reno.

[Alkonium]

I'm already on bad terms with Bill, so what harm could it do?

 

Don't use a cardboard tube to perform reverse liposuction on yourself.

[Darth Avlectus]

Too late, that one guy on either unreal tournament 3, left for dead 2, or something like that, he already did.

 

 

Go usurp the position of Vice City's crime boss from Tommy Vercetti.

[Hallucination]

No thanks, that job comes with an absurd commute from here.

 

Make some toast, put it in your mouth, and use it to type up play this game for the rest of the night. Post with toast!