The Ruin a Wish Foundation

[Alkonium]

Granted, but its also something people like to hunt.

 

I wish I had a sonic screwdriver.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but one day you drop it on your foot and drills you to the center of the Earth where most things roast.

 

I wish I had a Super-Chopper.

[Rev7]

Granted, but you get chopped up.

 

I wish that there was more daylight. :|

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. But now theres so much daylight you get less sleep

 

I wish people would read my story in the contest instead of simply looking at the summery then dissing it.

[Bokken]

Granted, but it was last place, and now it's second to last.

 

I wish I had Poirot's powers of deduction.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but your head can't contain that much and explodes due to your excessive knowledge.

 

I wish I were Sherlock Holmes.

[ForeverNight]

Granted, but you (like him) are a cocaine addict... tough luck.

 

I wish that I could just fade into the background...

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. But no one notices you and you evtually die of starvation because no one sees you when you need to be seen

[CommanderQ]

Granted, Chevron since you didn't place your wish, you have nothing.

 

I wish I was a military genius.

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. But you become so good your assasinated by opposing military forces

 

I wish more people would look at my story in the Contest. they don't even have comment on the story, i just want them to read it

[Bokken]

Granted, they all read just one word: "it".

 

I wish that I were the fittest person in the world.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you become complacent and stop being fit.

 

I wish for a Vesper (three measures of Gordon's, one measure of Vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shake very well until cold, then add a thin slice of lemon peel)

[ForeverNight]

Granted, but a Molotov follows immediately thereafter.

 

I wish that more people knew where the Vesper came from.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but then one devious person lights a match and the alcohol of the world explodes.

 

I wish I were an expert with explosives.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you develop an unsettling fascination with seeing this explode.

 

I wish I were a Demoman from Team Fortress 2.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but you run out eyeballs while fighting. *plays Scottish music*

 

I wish I were the Heavy.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but the Scout beats you to death and takes your Sandvich.

 

I wish I was the Sniper.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but your parents punish you for your choice of job.

 

I wish I was the Soldier.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but your grenades detonate after banging them together while you try to motivate a bunch of severed heads.

 

I wish I was the Engineer.

[Rinku]

Granted but then all the machines in the world break down and you have to fix them.

 

I wish I could play really good n64 games on my wii

[Alkonium]

Granted, but the controls constantly randomise.

 

I wish I had two hearts.

[M@RS]

Granted, what's it like to have two heart attacks at the same time?

 

I wish I had a better cpu...

[Bokken]

Granted, but as they say, bigger is better, and you get one of the old ones.

 

I wish I could type 200 GWAM.

[Rinku]

Granted but then the computer freezes due to a sensory overload.

 

I wish I could eat more.

[Alkonium]

Granted, you eat yourself to death.

 

I wish the Earth had another moon.