The Ruin a Wish Foundation

[Hallucination]

Granted, you failed every class you had this year and therefore will still be a freshman next year.

 

I wish water was flammable.

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

It is. I saw it on the Colbert Report.

[Totenkopf]

Yeah, but that was on the April Fool's Day show.

 

I wish I could think of a wish right now.

[Ztalker]

Granted, but I already replied so you'll have to wait until you can post it.

 

I wish the Soup-Nazi from Seinfeld would be retconned into the Death Star Cantina!

[Totenkopf]

He was, but he refused DV soup and was last seen floating through space.

 

I wish that things like those ultimate fighting matches were death matches.

[Ztalker]

Granted, buy your match against an extremely powerfull martial artist El Ertisto de lã Murete (Artist of Death, I believe?) will be the first to air!

 

I wish I was of royal blood!

[Hallucination]

Granted, you now have hemophilia.

 

I wish I was in Spain right nao.

[Ztalker]

Granted...you are on a very nice camping in Spain near a forest. *Forest fire FWOOOOOSH*

 

I wish I could trace my family tree further back...it only goes to 1580

[Hallucination]

Granted, you discover that your ancestors were dropped down by aliens. You don't get their superpowers and the FBI knows too.

 

I wish I had your soul. Muahahaha!

[Ztalker]

Granted, but my soul is rotten by alcohol abuse, beiing Dutch, too much Monty Python, Star Wars and extreme exposure to Lucasforums. You die of extreme exposure to my soul and spontaniously conbust.

 

I wish I had my soul back!

[Totenkopf]

After Hal's unforseen demise, you now do. However, it now claims you life as well, as in a suicidal fit you knock me out and face El Ertisto de lã Murete in my place.

 

I wish this forum had even more options than the recent upgrade allowed for.

[topshot]

Granted. However, half your user_name gets taken away as a result.

 

I wish I could change shape and form.

[DarthAve]

Granted, but you can only change into a Snorlax.

 

I wish I had triscuts.

[Hallucination]

Granted, they're the new cyanide flavoured ones.

 

I wish I could shard your purplez IRL.

[Totenkopf]

Decides not to grant wish, just for the helluva it.

 

I wish Bill Gates liquidated all his stock and gave me the money for my own.

[topshot]

Granted, but due to technical difficulty, the economy begins to drop even further and you begin to owe the government twice the amount you received from Microsoft.

 

I wish I knew what I was even talking about......

[Sabretooth]

Granted, but you forget it a moment later.

 

I wish my internet connection speed was fifteen times faster.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but it only moves 15x faster than partially frozen molasses.

 

I wish I had a fully stocked complimentary wet bar at my disposal.

[Ztalker]

Granted, but the idiots who went to place it misunderstood the wish and disposed of the thing immediately.

 

I wish I had Uber soccer skills

[topshot]

Granted. Soccer is all you ever think about now. Say goodbye to oral hygiene, food, family, friends, school, etc.

 

I wish there was a cure to end all suffering without having to die or some such.

[Totenkopf]

Unfortunately, there isn't.

 

I wish I owned all the diamonds in the world.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but people now realise how useless they are.

 

I wish my wisdom teeth weren't removed today. >_<

[Arcesious]

Granted, all of your other teeth are pulled.

 

I remember something exactly liek this on another site, the 'Corrupt-a-Wish' thread...

 

I wish for KOTOR III to come out now and be the best game ever.

[Ztalker]

Granted, it's now released for the Atari 2600 and even the Angry videogame Nerd thinks it's good.

 

I wish I didn't have to work in a few hours....

[itchythesamurai]

Granted, but you get fired for not showing up.

 

I wish I hadn't registered for LucasForums.