Boba Rhett Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Chapter One: The Flood *bangs his drink down onto the bar counter and slowly starts talking* You may hear some speak of tales of ancient spammers. Giants among men that died out long before the civilized world. Several hundred posts a day was but a ripple in the ocean to them. Sounds horrible doesn't it? But no need to fear, those ancient super-spammers were all captured and/or destroyed at the dawn of the second age, right? Wrong. Some of them endured. The mighty spam king, Viper the Destroyer and his two Acolytes, Tie Guy and Darth Rommel. Deep in the depths of forums long since forgotten they waited. Biding their time, practicing their dark arts and gaining strength for what they deemed, "T3H F|00d". Or in forummite tongue, The Flood. "Old fool. Go back to pickling your liver and save us the displeasure of hearing your fairy tales", you might say, and I wouldn't blame ya! But I have proof! For you see, I was there, my friends. I was there, the day the strength of all the forummers was tested. It's how I lost... THIS. *turns around revealing eye-patch* *gasps and whispers spread through the gathering of people* On that fateful day, many long years ago, when The Flood struck. They spread their spam on thick, and entire forums were lost to The Flood's dark spamming powers. Our last remaining forces, including Kvan, Sherack Nhar, Havoc, Clefo, Young David, Eets and myself rallied and fought back against the Spam Lord. Our victory was near... but the power of the spam, could not be undone. Our great leader, Kvan was struck down by Viper. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Viper's own adversaries, Darth Rommel and Tie Guy realized the error of their ways and turned against him. With our combined forces, the Dark Lord was vanquished and cast into the shadows. Victory was bittersweet. Many a good man were lost and maimed in that war that was later deemed, "Project Ark". Pray that the Super-spammer is never again loosed on these free lands, children. For it would surely only be remidied.... by us all paying a terrible price. *turns around and goes back to his cup of ale whilst everyone sits in stunned silence* _________________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young David Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Why is my name not in this story? (As a good guy ofcourse) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DashRendar Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Let me be the first to say that you, Eets, and Sher. have WAY too much time on your hands... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 *clouds arrive* The storm has returned!! *begun this spam war has* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherack Nhar Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Chapter Two: The Trickery *sits quietly and listens to Rhett's story* You bring back dark memories, Rhett... My old war buddy. Yes...dark memories indeed. Gather 'round, folks, and let me continue this dreaded legend of the spam... The story I am going to tell does not date back many long years ago. In fact, many of you young lads might remember it. We, old folk of the land, are now calling it The Trickery. It all began three years after Viper's fall to the hands of his old acolytes, Rommel and Tie Guy. The Land of GeeBee Dotcom desperately needed a king, as the previous one died of a terrible, unknown disease. Since the kingdom of GeeBee was a democracy, elections were held to choose the new king. Although Tie Guy and Rommel accumulated many votes for their previous heroic deeds, it was a newcomer, Delphi, who garnered the most attention. Claiming to be the reincarnation of the long lost ruler of the Kingdom of Westwood, he was able to win the elections by almost doubling the number of votes of the second most popular candidate. Suspecting something, I began an investigation with my old friend Rhett to acertain the truth. My suspicions were proven to be true - Delphi was nothing more than a scammer, cheating in the voting ballots to win the crown. He turned out to be an evil minion of the Spammers, of which we had not heard a thing ever since Viper was struck down. Delphi was therefore banished from GeeBee and all seemed well... in appearance. *grins mockily, seeing that he capted everyone's attention* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Delphi aint so bad... He was just consumed by the Dark Side... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 Chapter Three: The Fall A withered old man sitting in a dark corner slams his drink down on his table Yer darn right everything seemed well! There was a new hope in the kingdom, whispers of a lone hero that could salvage all that was lost in the mighty flood. Rhett spoke well of that hero. His name was Eets. He fought alongside his brave comrades during the Flood, saving helpless children from being swept along by horrible spam tides. Gallantly, he and his sword destroyed all the spam that stood in his way. In light of his good deeds, the kingdom of GeeBee decided to nominate Eets also in the race to become the new king. But alas. Even during peaceful times, there are threats of war, dreams of power. The mighty wizard Young David devised a powerful construct that would bring peace to the kingdom, a mighty devise that would be used to educate the people. Eets learned of this device, and though a good soldier, a valiant man... The dark side of this device corrupted him. Eets used this ancient weapon for terror, bringing darkness and corruption upon the people of GeeBee. Spam flew here and there, wickedness abounded. Finally, Sherack, Rhett, and Leon vanquished the Tell You I Will thread. Eets had tried to defend himself, but failed. That is, until he created the 3.01 device. *the old man leans into the light to reveal a withered, tired old face.* That device... Was evil. Look at my face! Look at how the spam corrupts the very soul! Tormenting the very person who wielded it so long ago... *drops his head to the table in sorrow and shame* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacherous Mercenary Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 The advantage of another community . Great story guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 *dies laughing* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 Chapter Four: Isolation Another dark figure in the corner of the Inn turns his attention to the conversation. He seemed hesitant, as he fiddled with the hilt of his blade. It would seem whatever he had to say was a painful memory he'd rather not relive. In his eyes you could see him wrestle with the idea of turning back around and ignoring the converstaion all togethor and returning to the task of getting drunk just like any other night. But in the end, he knew it wasn't just any other night, and worst yet, he knew this was a story that needed telling... Aye Eets, the SPAM tempts your very soul. No mortal man can resist it's power alone. Let me tell you young whips, always sorround yourself with comrades you can trust. Only a fool thinks himself greater than the SPAM. For if you were to venture out alone among the forums, surely as a flarg is ill-tempered, you will fall to the evil darkness called SPAM. Aye, even the most galant and righteous warriors have fallen at the hand of SPAM. Ask around these parts and they will tell you that I, Havoc, stood for all that is good and was a constant thorn in the SPAM's side. I had smited the great beast of SPAM time and time again. I preached it's dangers wherever I rode. It seemed I was impervious to the SPAM's temptations. I thought I could stand forever against the darkness, but alas even I faltered and became weak. A great evil tempted me and I embraced it like a fool. The SPAM spoke through me, using me to do it's bidding. The SPAM made me try to tempt the forummites and even the Great warriors to actually allow SPAM to walk among us freely! *GASP* Suddenly all who are listening take a step back and small children run and hide under their parents cloaks, only peaking out their eyes, from time to time, too curious to stay hidden long... Aye, it was a dark time, and I'm not proud of what I did. If it was not for Sherack, the great Warrior who fought valiantly in the first SPAM War, coming for me and bringing me back surely I would have eternally fallen to the power of the SPAM, and who knows how far I would have gone. For the SPAM in the wrong hands could prove fatal to mankind, consuming this land in a great darkness, vanquishing all that is good and driving many a good men out of the land and slowly strangling those brave enough to stay and fight. These boards can ill-afford another SPAM War. So even I, who stood strong against the SPAM, need great warriors to stand with and accompany my journey through the forum lands. So, today I tell you, nay, I urge you! Be ever vigilent and always on guard against SPAM. Though it is always stealthy and moves silently, tempting all who encounter it, it can be slain by good men who stand togethor. The shadowy figure, still fidgeting with the blade at his side, hung his head and went back to drowning his sorrows in the tankard of ale before him. Slowly becoming one with the shadows that sorrounded him in the corner. Only his eyes could be seen periodically catching the light of the dancing flames from across the room. And in those eyes one could see only pain and sorrow of a man who no longer trusted himself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted June 21, 2002 Author Share Posted June 21, 2002 Chapter Five: Unwanted Revelations *gets up from his stool, walks over to Havoc and places his hand on his shoulder* It has been a long time old friend. *Turns his attention to everyone in the room* He speaks the truth. But soon, I fear... the advice he has given you shall falter. *Slowly takes a seat next to Havoc* *A pained look spreads across his face, as if what he is about to say, must be said, for it may govern the fate of all* For many long years, after The Flood... I wondered the distant mountains, traveled in lands never seen by any man, woman or child here. If you had asked me then why I chose to do this, I could not have given you an answer. I felt as though I was meant to be seeking something. Now, having transversed such great distances, and having found other civilizations. I know now why I was made to set out on such a journey. *bows his head trying to push onward through the painful memories* These people that I cam across, they were known as the jkiiites. When I came across their land, it looked as though the earth itself had decided to cleanse its surface. The grounds were scorched, hill upon hill of villages lay flat... and the sky was darkened. Only after diligent searching in the nearby wood, did I find any remnant of what indeed had been a great civilization. Naturally, I asked them what had happened to these lands. They were at first reluctant to answer. As if any speak of it may have somehow willed the evil to return. Finally, after seeing that my intentions were not of evil, they told me their tale. A tale of much terror and sorrow.... One day, 'twas but months before I arrived, a dark vale came over their lands. They thought it first to be a storm-front ... but after several days, they knew it was not made by any natural forces but by a great evil... looming in the distance. Shortly after this... *pauses for a brief moment to regain his composure* He came. The Dark Lord Viper, riding in the blackened skies upon a great beast of terror, followed by a vast army of what was once people. Ancestors long since past of the Jkiiites.. But they had been taken up by the dark arts. Twisted and mutilated. "Living" in a state of dream. There only goal was to do what their master, Viper wished of them. The Jkiiites were a brave and proud people. They all rose in defense of their land. But the evil power was too great. Their lands were soon destroyed and the small remnant of them that remained to refuge in the woods. *Cups his face in his hands and wipes away the tears* Man, woman or child it did not matter to the Spam King. All who stood in his way fell. The Dark Lord has risen. Only this time with an army of undead servants and vengeance in his heart. He no longer seeks the domination of these lands ... but only the destruction of all that is good. The doom of man. He will allow nothing to stop him. He is coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted June 21, 2002 Author Share Posted June 21, 2002 Your chapter needs a title, Havoc! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 I wasn't sure I was allowed an actual chapter, beings I'm not a MOD and the rest of the Chapters were by MODs. It's titled now! by the way, this is really good stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 *pokes rhett* Stop quoting LOTR, I can't stop laughing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherack Nhar Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 Chapter 6: The Future? *gets up painfully from his chair, revealing his wooden leg, and rejoins his friends of old, limping badly* Alas, Rhett! If you indeed speak the truth, than I fear for us all! For when Viper shall have consummed all that once was land of the jkiiites, he shall move on to its next target... GeeBee Dotcom! ~Nervous whispers were heard throughout the crowd~ 'Tis will be a long and bloody battle, I am sure. We are getting old and crippled by age... nevertheless, I know that the heroes of GeeBee will stand forth and protect what they believe in. New heroes shall arise, as well... who knows? Maybe some of them are already here, listening to our wise words silently. Be wary! For the threat of Spam is ever present in the world... It will never be completely eradicated. Although Viper himself was banished from this land long ago, not all of his minions were. Maybe some of them are already here, spies of the dark disguised as regular forummites. *throws a suspicious look at the crowd* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 Chapter 7: The Chosen *all of a sudden, a white glow permeates around Eets and he begins to float out of his chair and into the air as several small children run to hide* Mates! It is happening! I have been chosen!!! *Sherack looks at his hand and notices that it starts to glow, right before the same thing happens to Rhett* We have been chosen by the gods to become... Moderators!!! *another voice speaks up from the bar* "Oh please! You and your fancy powdered sugar and snappy rope-tricks... Pay no mind to their trickery, you're all just drunk! Those old fogies haven't been chosen by god, they're just normal people like you and I!" Believe what you wish, Hannibalscipio, but this appointment must have been for a reas--- *he breaks off as a young boy runs into the tavern excitedly* "Milords! Milords! There is a man in me father's home speaking evil things! I only heard his name before I narrowly escaped his spam-like influences! His name... was Sardauker" *gasps fill the air* "He must be working under the control of the Dark Lord Viper!" Says Rhett. What shall we do, Rhett? Replies Eets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacherous Mercenary Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 *Continues to die laughing his *** off...* This has to be one of the best stories I have read in a while. Great one guys. *Waits for this to become a book . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 LOL. BTW newbies Delphi these days is called Delphi's Clone. I need to be in this story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted June 21, 2002 Author Share Posted June 21, 2002 Chapter Eight: The Beckoning *Rhett looks down at his newly restored form and those of his old friends and throws his now no longer needed eye-patch to the ground* We have been given a second chance to defeat evil, my friends. A glimmer of hope has come back into the world. We must not waste this opportunity. Let us go now and face what will surely be our first of many encounters with Viper's minions. *Rhett casts off his tattered cloak, revealing that even through these long years, and the withering of his frame, he had still always worn his shining silver armor and sword. The armor of a proud warrior* *Rhetts then kneels down to the young child who had just ran in* We will save your father but you must show us the way. *with tears streaming down his cheeks, the boy clasped Rhett's hand and started dragging him out of the old tavern* Follow us everyone! The days have dwindled down. We must now walk into shadow. It is time. *As Rhett exits the room, the other restored men cast off their cloaks. Revealing that much like Rhett, they had all chosen to proudly wear their armor. They take off following Rhett out the door and are quickly joined by everyone in the tavern* *after an hour of following the boy, the come to a house on the very outskirts of the land* Is this were it happened, child? "Yes, sir", the young boy responded. I thought so. It has been years since I've smelled the stench of Spam but I will never forget the foul scent. *Rhett turns to what now is almost the whole village congregated on a hill not far away viewing the happenings* Even though this is but a servant of the Spam King. He is still a very potent enemy. We will need help. Who shall stand with us and face this enemy? *One by one, men of all ages step forward, even Hannibalscipio, and they started to walk to where the group of battle hardened warriors are* You shall all have great honor from this day forward. I guarantee it, said Sherack to the men. Draw your swords, my friends. *The sound of long since sheathed swords being drawn fills the air* *Rhett walks up to the house, and bangs on the door* … Come out, Sardauker, vile snake of Viper! The battle calls! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 Gosh!!! this is too exciting...mind if i join in the battle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted June 21, 2002 Author Share Posted June 21, 2002 Maybe. The next chapter has to be exciting and action packed right form the get go! Btw, the towns people will be introduced and named in later chapters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 Then maybe i could be a townsperson I'm gonna copy paste this whole story and publish it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 Chapter Nine: Illusion * The air was electrified with excitement and fear, the men stood silent, swords drawn to the ready. No man knew what was instore behind that fateful door. But even so, the mens' resolve went unwaivering. There could be seen many a warrior gathered that day: Besides the Great Warriors Rhett, Sherack and Eets there wasCrazy Dog the Forgetful, Clefo the handsome, Young David the Pure, the two converts Tie Guy and Darth Rommel and even Havoc had made his way. No longer did his eyes reflect the light of earthly flame, but glowed from a fire within, he had pledged his blade to the cause and he was ready to redeem himself, with his life if necessary. Suddenly the sound of a latch being moved was heard, and the door began to open...* Rhett spoke softly, yet strangely all could hear his voice through the cold and still night air, "Stand strong men, tonight Evil has spammed it's last!" *The door opened revealing a man of small stature with a sinister air about him, but completely unarmed. His eyes seemed hauntingly devoid of color, and it was difficult to make out where his deep black hair ended and the night began. At first glance, it would seem this man, though evil, seemed harmless. Then he spoke...* "I am Sardauker, lord of this house. How may I assist you and your men this cold and unforgiving evening?" *Rhett was taken aback, this is hardly what he expected from an alcolyte of Viper. Where to go from here?* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 Man, I nominate this thread for thread of the year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zygomaticus Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 Originally posted by Eets'chula Man, I nominate this thread for thread of the year Im sticking with tuiw (tooyiv) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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