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Legends of the Spam


Boba Rhett

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I'll insert the music later.

 

 

_________________________________________

 

 

Chapter 23: Mornie Utulie

 

"Darkness Has Come"

 

 

 

 

 

Young David looked on as a mixture of horror and disbelief crept over his face. The dark armies crested the hill and began advancing on them and the great weapon they had so valiantly fought to keep from the enemy. It was but a matter of minutes until they would be upon Young David and the survivors.

 

As they approached, the vile minions of Viper began to desiccate the bodies of the fallen GeeBeeDee. Hewing the heads from the noble soldiers. Soldiers who had died so valiantly, defending what they held sacred and casting them forth at the remnants of the GeeBee forces. Mocking them with their own dead.

 

Still staring forward, Young David began to speak to himself. Quoting prophesies made long ago by the ancients…

 

 

"…a shadow shall fall over the lands.. and evil will grow in it's path… and death, will come from the skies…"

 

 

Turning from the sight he wanted so desperately not to believe was real, Young David set his gaze to his own men. Some of which, being emotionally and physically drained and seeing what was about to befall them, had sheathed their swords, sat down on the battle stained ground, and accepted their fate. A fate, which Young David did not want to accept, but what looked most likely. Total annihilation.

 

Others, the more battle hardened and stout of the bunch, including Rommel, Jedi Masta, Wraith 8, STTCT and several others had their swords and shields drawn and were prepared for a fight they all knew they had no chance of winning. They had also had all cast aside their encumbering armor, opting for speed so that they might take as many of the wretched spammish beasts as they could with them.

 

Finding strength in this, Young David turned once again to the approaching army of darkness. His eyes hardened. With a mixture of sweat and tears now running down his shaking face and hitting the cold hard armor he still bore, Young David clenched his jaw and drew his sword. Raising the hilt of his sword high above his head he took in one last gulp of air before he was to give a call for his men to charge the onslaught of Viper's army -- but then, like a boom of thunder, Rommel gave out a cry.

 

 

"Wait!"

 

 

Lowering his sword, Young David quickly turned his attention to Rommel.

 

 

"We may not be able to wield the TUIW weapon in the fashion for whence it was made, but we can use it!"

 

 

Young David furrowed his brow not understanding what Rommel was implying.

 

 

"Do you not remember, Young David? Like any weapon forged throughout the ages, the TUIW weapon has a built inclosing mechanism! A , "self destruct", if you will."

 

 

Sensing that Young David as well as all his comrades still were not grasping what he was proposing, Rommel quickly elaborated.

 

 

"When activated, the closing mechanism causes a small tear in the fabric of space that, quite literally, causes the weapon and anything close enough to it to be sucked into oblivion. On a weapon of such size and immense power as TUIW, the tear would most certainly be of a great size!"

 

 

Now grasping what Rommel was saying, Young David eyes brightened and a glint of hope could be seen and he loudly began speaking.

 

"….We could let the northern army capture the TUIW weapon and then activate the closing device… The army would be sucked in with the weapon! HAH! Rommel I cold kiss you!"

 

Quickly turning from Rommel, Young David began shouting out orders.

 

 

"Everyone! The battle is not yet lost! STTCT and Masta, you two gather the troops and wounded men and get them as far back as you can. Run for the woods! Wraith 8 and Rommel, you two follow me. We must go and position TUIW so that…"

 

Young Davids order was interrupted by Rommel's all too sober voice.

 

 

"I'm afraid you do not yet grasp the entire situation, Young David. TUIW's closing device… cannot be activated from afar."

 

 

The slight smile that had crept across Young David's seemed to melt away and the glimmer in his eye was darkened as what Rommel said truly sunk in.

 

"….One of us must stay behind to close TUIW..." Young David choked out as he stared at Rommel, knowing full well that he intended to be the one staying.

 

 

"Take everyone and get out of here while you still can." Rommel stated bluntly as he stared at the ground, not able to look upon his friends faces.

 

 

 

"No!" "There has to be another way!" "We will all stand with you!" "You can't leave us, Rommel! Cried several of the men.

 

 

 

"Do not be fools! Leave me! Years ago, I fought on the other side of a battle much like this. It's time for me to make right and owe up for the things I have done." Cried Rommel.

 

 

 

Young David, his eyes reddened and with tears welling up, knowing there would be no changing Rommel's mind, walked over to his friend and, hugged him.

 

For that one moment, all seemed quiet.

 

 

 

"…Until we meet again my friend." Rommel softly spoke as he hugged Young David and held the pain in check.

 

 

 

The silence was broke by Wraith 8.

 

 

 

"Sir! The enemy is approaching! If we are to do what we plan, we must go!"

 

 

 

Looking at his friend who was about to sacrifice himself for them, Young David silently nodded then gave the order for them to fall back.

 

Rommel walked over to TUIW and sat. Waiting.

 

Two minutes passed and the remaining forces of GeeBeeDee were now a good kilometer from Rommel and the TUIW weapon but they could still clearly see them both on the hill. The dark army was almost upon their friend now.

 

 

Seeing that the enemy was scattered quite a bit, Rommel knew that in order for the plan to work he would have to do some fighting before he could start the closing process. He must let the dark forces encircle him for them all to be caught by the closing.

 

Young David and everyone else looked on as the first wave hit Rommel. He managed to fend them off but he took a hit to the shoulder by one of the spam creatures before he was able to smite it. Young David winced but did not turn away.

 

Rommel knew he must hold out a little longer. He dropped his shield, picked up another sword and began fighting with two. This worked briefly but there were just to many of them. He was hit again, only this time in the leg with a small axe. He fell to the ground but was still able to keep the beasts back. It was almost time. He need hold just a little longer. He threw his second sword at the enemies and now waved his sword madly around, keeping them at bay. The time was now right. Rommel leapt up, threw himself at the TUIW weapon and flipped open the case, revealing the closing button.

 

He placed his finger on the button, looked off into the distance at his friends -- then how lowered his head and closed his eyes.

 

An axe wielding spam beast stood above Rommel and raised his weapon for a final devastating blow.

 

"Goodbye…" Rommel whispered, as his pressed the close button.

 

 

 

 

 

Young David and the rest of the GeeBee army averted their eyes and covered their ears as bright rays of light followed by a bone rattling sound wave spread over the land. The light was so intense that they could not even dare try looking upon what was happening but they could hear the screams of the thousands of evil warriors being torn apart as they were sucked into the closing and could feel great winds sweep across them.

 

 

Then all went silent. When they opened their eyes and looked upon where the vast army, the TUIW weapon and Rommel once stood, all that was left was scorched earth and a great crater.

 

 

The entire GeeBee army let out a collective sigh. Their friend's noble sacrifice had saved them all. -- Or so they thought…

 

 

They could hear a rumbling. One that was seemingly increasing with every second that passed. That's when they saw it. At the crest of the hill, where the dark army had first been spotted, came another, much larger army. The legions of warriors Rommel had taken with him had merely been a fraction of Vipers forces. His sacrifice had been for naught.

 

 

An emotionless Young David drew is sword and let it hang by his side.

 

 

"It looks like we'll all be joining you and Sherack sooner that I thought, Rommel."

 

spoke Young David as the armies of spam marched forward.

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Too bad that story isn't your cup of tea, Clefo, but most people here seem to like it :)

 

Oh and after much discussion with Rhett, we have finally determined how it will end. We will put emphasis on originality rather than another LOTR reference for the final battle with Viper.

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Originally posted by Clefo

No originality= bad story

 

And originality sometimes has less chance of offending people...like for example putting a religious person in a David and Goliath skit :p [/attempt at guilt trip] ;):D

 

Let's hear it for originality! :p

 

Oh, and I second CD no. 3's motion for more humor :D

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Originally posted by STTCT

would you rather have made - up names?? That wouldn't be any fun....besides...this is one of threads that has made it to 7 pages...seems like a lot don't even make it to 2 :(

 

if u don't like the story don't read it

 

Scuse me? I was just offering my opinion, it differs from everyone elses apparently, but you should respect it..

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No originality= bad story

 

Not always ;)

 

I can't believe I'm dead!

 

unfortunately, i think all the bad guys die in the end....but we kill a lot of good guys :D

 

 

 

Scuse me? I was just offering my opinion, it differs from everyone elses apparently, but you should respect it..

 

Very true!

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What do you mean no originality = bad story, clefo?

 

This story is a parody. There are lots of incredible movies out there that do exactly what you seem to hate. That list includes Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Spaceballs, two of my favorite movies of all time.

 

By borrowing from the story yet changing it to make it fit the boards, they are making a parody of LOTR. Parodies are often times funny.

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Originally posted by darthfergie

Anyway, NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hopefully we can get this finished before the anniversary. Or else...

 

:tank1: :tank1: :tank1: :tank1: :tank1:

 

How come nobody is telling me about these COOL new smileys

 

:tank1: :tank2:

 

And where's the next chapter?:mad:;)

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