Zoom Rabbit Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 Hello, forumites. After an extended period of non-operational computer ownership, the rabbit is once again ONLINE and prepared to spew incomprehensible philosophy into the already overstimulated psyche of the internet community. Run. Now. Or become like me... I am now the proud owner/captain/pilot of the 1976 Dreamliner Motorcorvette Tantive III. A twenty-four footer, it's a luxury mobile command center that is currently docked at a remote location in the hills of southern Oregon (which I will not precisely disclose for reasons of national security) from which I can guard the north end of the Rogue River valley against Chinese and Korean ground troops. Just doing my part. Go team, etc. The Tantive III is an integral airtight compartment with a cockpit, bridge, stateroom, galley and head. She has a self-contained water system that can run on tanks (two of them) and a solar-powered battery system which runs the onboard lighting, as well as a 250-foot 30 amp cord which can attatch to any AC 120 outlet to run the secondary electrical system. The vehicle is fully air-conditioned, and supplied with both electric and propane heating. The communications array includes a CB radio, shortwave radio, telephone, cell phone, walkie-talkies and sattelite broadband for the computer. The entertainment system sports an integrated stereo cassette deck which runs off the solar power, two house stereos (one in the bridge, the other in the stateroom), 19" color stereo teevee, VCR and Nintendo gamesystem. The ship's powerplant is a 440 rebuilt dodge engine, sixty horses more than the makers felt worthy of originally dropping in her engine compartment. War? Bring it on, you meat-eating bastards. My house has an engine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Loyaltist Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 Wow to no-shows back in one week. Welcome back Zoomie you've been sorely missed. A recap of the boards since you've left. Nothing. Run, Run for your life, get out while you still can! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 I'm 21 as of today. I'm loaded full of rum and coke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Beastie Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 ZOOMIE!!! *runtacklehug* You've come back to us!!! There is no escape! Begin the feast; kill the fatted zucchini! And Nute. . . Congrats man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 *Rubs eyes* I don't (expletive deleted) believe it! So, you finally busted out of the joint, eh Rabbit? We knew you'd come back,.. they always come back. It's like an addiction, everyone eventually returns for thier fix. *Pours more opium into the XWA water supplies* Sooo... when do we get to see pics of this beast,.. this rolling city state on wheels? I ask only for the public safety, you understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 When I'd heard they'd let some detainees out of Gitmo, I assumed Zoom would return shortly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gold leader Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 Welcome back Wacky Wabbit!!! It was about time you returned here, Wally was driving us crazy with his questions about your whereabouts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylilin Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 Its great to hear from you after all this time. As you can see, we all missed you. Some even resorted to coming up with a fire dance in order to resummon you back to this plain of existance. Maybe it really worked. Anyways, Zoomie's back: YAY! :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: And our local herd of pink elephants dance in joy. Congrats on the new blockade runner by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 ZOOMIE!!!!! It's about goddamn time you showed your ugly mug back here. Congrats on the new ride and all. You deserve it. Never, ever leave us again. This place isn't the same without you. Ah yes, ed...I think I'll have another five glasses of water please....thankeee.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 Hooray \o/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 welcome back. Since you've been gone my armory has grown very large Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cmdr. Cracken Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 O.o ZOOOM!! WHERE THE FARK HAVE YOU BEEN!?!? Welcome back. 'bout time my favorite samurai rabbit return. i need to ask ya a few questions about sword purchasing. i'll PM you later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabba The Hunt Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 Hey, cool, your back at last where have you been?, we even had a thread about it a while ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cmdr. Cracken Posted April 8, 2003 Share Posted April 8, 2003 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit ....... Chinese and Korean ground troops. now, you have to be specific? North or South Korean. Careful on your answer, for the untold pigs at your door should you chose wrong would be TRAGIC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jem Posted April 8, 2003 Share Posted April 8, 2003 Hey Zoomie! Welcome Back. I got to see and purchase Seven Samurai on DVD a couple of month ago and it's the best movie ever. I suggest you go see it, NOW! GO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUNNER Posted April 8, 2003 Share Posted April 8, 2003 Yo Stallion, how the hell are ya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted April 9, 2003 Share Posted April 9, 2003 O.O *rubs eyes repeatedly* O.O Holy MONKEYS! It's ZOOMIE! And it took me two days to notice! o.O Welcome back! If you're real...O.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 9, 2003 Author Share Posted April 9, 2003 *sigh* The Carpet-Weaver's Sutra Thus have I heard-- That the ancient art of hand-weaving the carpet is one that is passed from master to apprentice over many years. The master knows things about carpet-weaving that he cannot express with words, so he must guide the apprentice to the point where he can realize the same things for himself. In this way the art is passed down, which cannot be expressed with words, and the apprentice becomes a master in his own right. This makes perfect sense to the master, but confounds the apprentice. One day, after he had trained his apprentice for many years in the tedious complexities of dyeing and spinning thread, the master decided that it was time to begin teaching him about carpets. "Come sit down with me, and I will teach you what is a carpet." The boy sat obediently. "But master, I already know what a carpet is! After all, we are sitting on one now." "Really?" The master clucked his tongue. He held up a spool of thread the boy had dyed and wound just the day before. "If you were to take the carpet and unravel it, it would look just like this spool of unwoven thread. True?" "Yes. But that spool of thread isn't a carpet yet." "Ah. But on this spool is a carpet that will be...and if we unraveled the carpet, the resulting spool of thread would be a carpet that had been. It is only now, when it is a carpet, that we do not see it as thread." "Um...okay." The master laughed. "But you are also right!" He stood up, grabbed the carpet and held it out, tugging at the corners. "This thing, this square bolt of cloth, is a carpet." "So the thread is carpet, and the carpet is carpet?" "It gets better." He walked over to his computer, took the mouse in hand and called up his website. "Here on my home page are some designs of the carpets I have for sale." He enlarged one of the images. "Here is a digital photo of the carpet we were just sitting on. As far as the whole world is concerned...this image is the carpet. It stands for the carpet, in a form which can be shunted and bounced around the internet much more easily than the actual carpet can be." The apprentice scratched his head. "Master, I'm confused. You say that thread is the carpet, the carpet is carpet, and now the design on the carpet is the carpet! If I keep listening to you, I will become a carpet." "Some day you will understand, carpet-boy. Until then, just remember this: 'The carpet is its essence, that from which it came and will return. 'The carpet is its form, that which it defines with its essence. 'The carpet is its design, that which emerges from the form and can be identified as concrete in its own right. 'The carpet is all of these things, and all of them together make a carpet. Whenever one makes a carpet, one must remember all three. To forget one of them is to misunderstand the art of carpet-weaving." Om! Peace Now do you believe it's me? Who else but Zoom Rabbit can generate crazy talk of such high caliber...? Howdy all! Crackmonkey, fear not. I'll be targeting North Koreans only--provided I can tell them apart through a rifle scope. Safety note: any South Koreans coming to Oregon should paint their heads a bright orange color so I can tell they're friendlies. This also goes for Japanese, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Hawaiians, Samoans, and even the local Mexican population who can be mistaken for Al-Qaeda orchard terrorists from a distance. You have been warned... Nute, if you target my house, you will have to phase correct for a low-intensity quantum interference shield which would send any warhead back through time into the cabin of Columbus' flagship before he discovered America. Think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Beastie Posted April 9, 2003 Share Posted April 9, 2003 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit . . . cabin of Columbus' flagship before he discovered America. "Discovered?" I know numerous Vikings who would disagree with that. As would Amerigo Vespucci, one of Columbus' crewmen, who refused to submit to the consensus-reality of his shipmates, and who thus willed the Americas into being, distinct from India. The Moral: Never hire a navigator named "Blinky." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted April 9, 2003 Share Posted April 9, 2003 Or a prostitute named Itchy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted April 9, 2003 Share Posted April 9, 2003 Glad to have you back... RADIO FREE SATURN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zargon Posted April 10, 2003 Share Posted April 10, 2003 Originally posted by Rogue Nine Or a prostitute named Itchy. or a fish called wanda? hiya zoom zoom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 10, 2003 Author Share Posted April 10, 2003 Actually, Edlib, digital photos of Tantive III and other rabbit treasures may be technically possible. I will look into it... Beastie... Everyone knows that America was first discovered by lungfish. The only significant development in my life since I last visited these boards has been the writing of my first book. *!* Yup. I actually sat down and compiled some of my stuff into a book--bound to happen with the withdrawal of daily internet writing fixes following the death of my old computer. It's called Breaking the Zen Mirror with Horse Logic: Meeting God with the Western Mind and is basically a compilation of eleven sutras interspersed with eight discourses. No, I haven't published yet (in fact, I'm waiting to finish unpacking from my move out of a foundationally restricted house to do the second draft), but I'm thinking of doing it online instead of hassling with a publishing company. 'The Carpet-Weaver's Sutra' is the first of the eleven sutras. Did anyone actually read it? I'm curious to see what folx think... Oh. says that the Iraqi chemical and biological weapons stashes hidden in the desert were delicious, and wonders if Iran and Syria have their own tasty morsels that he could munch on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted April 10, 2003 Author Share Posted April 10, 2003 Kylilin passed the Star Wars fan test by correctly identifying what the Tantive III was! I should point out, however, that it was a Correlian corvette, and not really a blockade runner. The Millenium Falcon was a blockade runner. Totally. A corvette, however, isn't running any blockades without significant starfighter escort... Ahhh. XWA. I've missed talking the fine points of space combat with people who understand what I'm talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted April 10, 2003 Share Posted April 10, 2003 Digital pics, eh... I look forward to it. A book, you say? Scary. I'm not sure how the collective American psyche would react to such radical dissemination being available where the golden, yet impressionable, youth of our great country might be able to get it's greasy little hands on such things. No good could come of it however,.. of this I am sure. I enjoyed the sutra very much... except all the talk about carpets. I really do prefer hardwood flooring,.. so much easier to take care of. Perhaps you could rewrite it to include such an angle? You really don't want to alienate yourself from the hardwood flooring industry and thier consumers... distancing yourself from such a key demographic so early in your publishing career could only have unforseen negative effects further down the road. Perhaps you could even include some product placement to underwrite the inevitable book tour. A few paragraphs about how great Pergo products are could go a long way to keeping Wally in fish, if you know what I mean, baby! Hey, let's do lunch sometime! My people will fax your people! Ciao, baby! Uhhh,.. sorry. I seemed to have just channeled my inner L.A. producer. An inevitable and unfortunate side effect from spending as much time as I do around concert promoters, record producers and other sleazy music industry types. Tell Wally that I have the feeling that there are some with ties to and influence on our current administration who happen to be wondering the exact same thing,.. and are itching to do something about it in order to find out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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