Kstar__2 Posted April 27, 2003 Share Posted April 27, 2003 it's true, i got proof! These are from the Australian Tourism website answering questions from people in other countries. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water... Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: So its true what they say about Swedes. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK) A: You are a British politician, right? Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany) A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynk Former Posted April 27, 2003 Share Posted April 27, 2003 Yeah, bloody hell I have to put up with all you dumbasses askin me stupid questions! Does anyone have a brain or do you all just love me so much you want my attention so badly?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi Skywalker Posted April 27, 2003 Share Posted April 27, 2003 Originally posted by Lynk Former Does anyone have a brain or do you all just love me so much you want my attention so badly?! We all got brains and we need your attention Lynk, that shows does it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swphreak Posted April 27, 2003 Share Posted April 27, 2003 LOL What a bunch of retards.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cmdr. Cracken Posted April 27, 2003 Share Posted April 27, 2003 I saw that. over at the reallife comic forums. pretty funny stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wraith 8 Posted April 27, 2003 Share Posted April 27, 2003 lol.. this is why i always put in my welcomes dont piss off lynk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynk Former Posted April 28, 2003 Share Posted April 28, 2003 XD Don't forget Mr. Weasel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wraith 8 Posted April 28, 2003 Share Posted April 28, 2003 Originally posted by Lynk Former XD Don't forget Mr. Weasel how could i EVER do that lynk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pisces Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 Freakin awesome. Stupid people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 Lynk's new title: "Drop Bear" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swphreak Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 and the next question is gonna be: "How do you spell Australia?" and we know how he'd respond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynk Former Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 OzTralia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taos Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 Yeah, that sounds how Lynk would respond to those questions. Originally posted by Lynk Former OzTralia u NOG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kjølen Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 Yup, that's Lynk. Are there weasels in Australia? You will start to feel a tingling sensation on our neck, do not move, you may be hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jared Posted April 30, 2003 Share Posted April 30, 2003 hey does everyone have a funny accent there? And I want an answer, not a shotgun wound lynk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynk Former Posted May 1, 2003 Share Posted May 1, 2003 no every1 doesn't have a funny accent, they all have different accents, whether it's british, indian, australian, american... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clem Posted May 1, 2003 Share Posted May 1, 2003 hehe we're just getting our revenge cos the aussies are (castlemaine) XXXX-ing everywhere (this joke may only be funny to those in the uk ... or maybe it isnt funny ... but it did get a **** crash test rating) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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